Hinata sensei

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Kakashi asked, unconvinced.

"You have trained her yourself; Kagome Takahashi is an extremely talented young woman who would be a waste to drop permanently from the program." Kakashi understood the Hokage's reasoning, but he still didn't like it. Hinata wasn't ready to take on another student so soon after Sakura's death.

"Have her parents been informed?" The Hokage asked, dreading his response.

"Yes; Sakura's mother did not take it well. She almost attacked me, but her husband demanded, 'Where is Hinata?' It was not a pleasant sight. It's never easy for Kakashi to inform parents that their children had died on a mission. It was one of the most difficult parts of being a ninja.

"How is Naruto and Sasuke fairing?" he asked Kakashi.

Naruto has been distant; though I think he's going through his own turmoil, he killed for the first time and he doesn't know how to come to terms with it. This was something Kakashi knew immediately when he saw Naruto's face; he barely spoke.

"What are we doing, sending children out? Damn it, Kakashi! What are we? Are we machines? Despite what Hashirama's best intentions were, children are still dying and being sent out to die, and for what? I'm getting too old for this."

Kakashi disliked where this conversation was headed.

"Hokage-sama, I know things are difficult, but surely you don't mean to retire?" Concerned about all the years he had spent looking up to someone other than his sensei, Minato, everyone in his generation had grown up with him as the Hokage; it was inconceivable that anyone else could take his place.

"I'm old, Kakashi. Someone else should have succeeded me by now. In fact, I wasn't succeeded only so that I could return later. He knew what he was getting into.

If only (never mind), I shouldn't wish for things to be different because it's pointless. It doesn't change the present. Kakashi asked when/how soon Kagome could transfer.

As soon as Hinata is able to resume her duties," the Hokage answered

"We should give her space, as what happened was traumatic"

A traumatic understatement, Kakashi thought. He remembers it like it was only yesterday, what happened to Rin. Kakashi tenses when he thinks about that memory, a failed promise he couldn't keep to his late friend Obito. He knows what it's like to feel pain like you could have done; she will likely have nightmares for months or years to come from such a failure. It never completely goes away; it stays with you. That's why most don't choose to be promoted to Jōnin.

"I know what you're thinking, Kakashi. That it's too soon unless Team 7 has a new member. The team will have to be disbanded, and I won't let that happen. As soon as she recovers, Kagome Takahashi will join Team 7."

Kakashi wanted to argue against it, he gave in... There was was no point; the Hokage had had already already made up his mind and there was no changing it.

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

The old man put down his pipe.

No matter what argument Kakashi presents, the Hokage has already made up his mind, and nothing can be done."I will inform the girl of her transfer in a few days."

Kakashi bowed low and left the Hokage's office.

Naruto couldn't stop thinking about it how he had killed Haku. What made it worse was that he had stopped fighting, the battle was over, and Sasuke wasn't dead but alive. It was not self-defense; it was murder. Naruto wanted to scream, "This can't be what being a ninja is about!"

"What Haku said is correct: Shinobi are killers. Their tools—that's what they've always been. This is the reality." Kyuubi said bluntly. He didn't want to hear it; he couldn't accept it. There was no other way he could be both a Shinobi and still be human.

"This is bullshit. I didn't become a Shinobi to be a killer to be a murderer. This is not what I wanted to do" he was so frustrated and so angry. Not only was he unable to do anything to protect his friends, but Sakura, his classmate and teammate, was dead. It wasn't real; it couldn't be real, but it was. He saw her remains, her severed head. He couldn't get the image out of his mind. The facial expression she had at the time of death was fear. He couldn't protect his classmate, he couldn't protect Hinata. "Grow up! This is what it means to be a Shinobi. Do you want to be acknowledged as a man by your woman, or do you forever want to stay a boy?" Kyubi wasn't pulling any punches.

"it's not fair the way Sakura died it was fucked up we may not have known each other that well and she may have been kind of a bitch to me but still she didn't deserve to die like that."Naruto couldn't help but cry it bothered him that he couldn't protect anyone and the fact that he murdered someone In Cold blood nobody can convince him it wasn't cold blooded murder."Death is always a possibility in this line of work you should have known that when you decided to become a Shinobi it's not fun and games Face reality Naruto there's always a chance you could lose friends in this line of work even your precious Hinata is not immune this isn't a story that you read in one of your books this is real humans have been fighting to the death long before Shinobi existed and they'll do it long after Shinobi become things of legend. You are not a child anymore, it's time you face that fact and stop looking at the world in a childish way"He was brutal in his honesty. Naruto couldn't argue against it because he was right and he couldn't hated him for it but he couldn't help but be angry at him at this moment.

"You could hate me for telling you how it is, but it's the truth. Was it your weakness that caused Sakura's death? it doesn't matter. There was nothing you could have done; you couldn't have known what would happen her death. Is not your responsibility, and wishing for things to be different is pointless. Focus on the present."

Kyubi may have been right but it didn't Naruto feel any better.

It was so easy to be told to do that. When he was on the mission, he froze at the beginning. He felt like such a coward; he felt so pathetic. Sasuke saved him, and when Hinata looked at him like he was a helpless little boy and not a ninja.

"I'm tired of being weak, I'm tired of being helpless. I want to be able to protect those I care about so I will never be powerless again. I don't want to ever freeze again. Then Naruto thought about Haku, the boy he had killed." You didn't know Sasuke wasn't dead; you thought you were avenging him. You aren't at fault; you were in a battle to the death. Anyone could have made that mistake." Naruto didn't want to hear it; he didn't have to go that far. When he punched him and shattered the mirror, it was over. He had won the fight. He still attacked him until there was nothing left of his face.

His smashed brains is something he cannot get out of his mind. His face was covered in it no matter how many times he tried to wash it from his face when he was in the shower, but it still wouldn't go away; he could still feel the blood of Haku on his face. He had to do something, anything to get his mind off of it. He got dressed in his usual clothes and headed to the training grounds to train so that he could take his mind off of what had happened.

Sasuke was pissed off; he had completely and utterly failed. Yes, he survived, but he was helpless again, even with his Sharingan, it was not enough; he needed to train more; he needed to get stronger faster. The very fact that he was so far behind his brother made him sick. The very fact that he's able to walk free made him sick.

No matter how many times he gets a bull's eye with his eyes closed, a skill that he has mastered for years, he still isn't good enough. His fireball jutsu, which he has also mastered, is still not good enough. He is frustrated even though he has received training from Hinata Hyuga. It seems that what he has learned so far is not enough. He is 13 and feels like he is no closer to his goal than he was five years ago. Although he does not have a personal connection to Sakura on a personal level, this still infuriates him.

She showed signs of moving past her infatuation with him. He couldn't help but wonder what might have been. No longer was she focused on impressing him, but rather on improving her own skills, what good was that now? She was dead, and her hopes and dreams died with her.

One of the things that bothered him the most was why he used his own body as a shield. His goal was to kill Itachi, but he was willing to put that at risk to save Naruto. Why? The question bothered Sasuke the more he thought about it. Was he getting soft? Was he becoming fond of Naruto? Was Naruto his friend? Up until recently, he couldn't stand him. He started seeing Naruto as someone he could respect. Could that be the reason?

No, he couldn't think about that right now. He had his own goals to focus on: revenge by any means necessary. If he couldn't get stronger than his family and clan, they could never rest. Itachi had to die. What mattered now was training and taking any sort of training from anyone who could get him closer to his goal. He would do it. Hinata. He was starting to respect her. Her skills and the way she carried herself made Sasuke feel foolish for judging her harshly. But could he really apologize to her? It felt embarrassing. There was no need. He could show her respect in other ways. he can do it through his actions even if he still has misgivings because of she's a Hyuga.

He continued with his routine after he was done he went to Naruto was hopefully he can get some training done with him to keep his mind off the mission.

Hinata had been staring at the ceiling ever since she had returned from the mission. She hadn't been able to sleep well, as it was riddled with nightmares. She lay on her bed, it being late at night, and she couldn't sleep because she couldn't get over the failure. She couldn't save Sakura's life; Sakura had died because of her. It was all her fault.

When Gato was killed by her hand, the people in the Land of Waves celebrated that their oppressor, who had oppressed them for all those years, was finally gone. A raven was sent because she was unable to move due to her injuries. She almost welcomed the pain, thinking it was what she deserved. She felt like a hypocrite. How could she set a good example for her students if she had done the same thing? Was she really qualified to be a Jonin?

"It should have been you who died", her father said all those years ago. Those words still hurt her, despite how many years have passed. How deep those memories are buried in her soul! That was one memory she couldn't suppress. A week passed since they returned home, but Hinata was healed, so she could resume her duties as a ninja. She didn't know if she even deserved to be Naruto or Sasuke's teacher. She had failed them.

She went to Sakura's funeral; she saw her mother and her father, along with Sakura's sister, who was still at the academy. As her teacher, she had to pay her respects; it was only right, but her presence wasn't welcomed. However, Sakura's mother looked at her and gave her a look of anger."How dare you come here! It's bad enough that I had to bury my own child, but to see you—who is responsible—come here, you have some nerve." Hinata couldn't say anything in her defense; she was right. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to pay my respects."

"I don't care you are responsible for my daughter's death, it's all your fault. your arrogance and hubris are the whole reason she is Dead."

Her voice cracked, and she couldn't speak clearly because of the grief.

"I hate you! you damn Hyuga It should have been you who died instead of her you worthless wretch."

Hinata froze; it was almost the same words her father had said. She couldn't move.

"I'm sorry." She fell to her knees, remembering more things she didn't want to remember from the day her mother died.

"weakling"a voice said.

"coward a disgrace to the Hyuga clan"said another.

she heard more voices they were getting louder now.

"please stop"Hinata whispered.

"it's your fault I'm dead sensei"said Sakura

"it should have been you that died you worthless wretch"said her father

The flashes she didn't want it experience those memories again.

"Run Hinata run " her mother told her there were ninjas from Kumogakure. The nine year old girl was scared. She couldn't move. She was terrified she was holding her 3-year-old sister Hanabi they're looking to kidnap them both she was scared she couldn't move. Her mother was begging her to run but knees wouldn't move. It was as if they were frozen. A ninja was about to grab her but he was killed by Hinata's mother who fought like a lion protecting her Cubs."Run Hinata take Hanabi and"she didn't get a chance to finish a lightning blade went through her heart Hinata saw blood drip from her mother's mouth and at that instant she fell face down dead.

Hinata screamed, "Mother! Wake up! Wake up!" But it was no use; no matter how hard she tried, her mother wouldn't wake up. her lifeless body her eyes which no longer had light in them was staring at her. Telling her she was at fault. Right as her kidnappers were about to grab her, their bodies were broken. Her father and her uncle came to save her, but her father looked at her and said those awful words: "It should have been you that died. You worthless wretch. If you weren't so useless and weak, my wife would still be alive. Leave me." Those words that he said hurt more than anything she ever received.

She couldn't control the tears falling the memories of that awful day her father's words Sakura's mother looked at her with even more anger and hatred she picked her up by the collar."Do you think going on your knees and begging for forgiveness and crying is going to bring my daughter back? She's dead you are at fault you might as well have killed her yourself you worthless wretch you should have never been promoted to Jonin it was a mistake."She didn't want to hear anymore she didn't want to experience that day again or the days that followed.

"That's enough, Mother. You made your point."

A soft voice said, "It's a girl who looks like she's around ten." The girl looked at Hinata with the same hatred her mother had.

"Leave," the girl said coldly. Hinata forced herself to get up and ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She went to her spot that she'd always gone to when she had no one to go to. She went there for the first time at her mother's funeral. No one was around; she curled herself into a ball and cried over her failure in the Land of Waves and the memory of the awful day that she was forced to relive.

One week later

Kakashi was keeping an eye on Hinata; she hadn't left her apartment once since Sakura's funeral. He was getting worried about her, and his colleagues Asuma and Kurenai were also worried, considering they took Hinata in when she had nowhere to go after she left the Hyuga compound.

"It can't go on like this, Kakashi! Her students need her." Asuma said to his friend, because she didn't want to get involved in Naruto and Sasuke's fight. They were getting anxious; their teacher wasn't there for them at that time.

Kakashi hated seeing his former student, curled up in a ball, crying her eyes out. This was the first time she had cried since the horrible night 5 years ago.

"I'll talk to her."

Kurenai was about to go to her apartment, but Kakashi stopped her.

"It's going to require tough love for her to get out of this; you're too soft for what's needed to make Hinata move forward."

His two colleagues wondered what he was getting at.

"Kurenai, no offense, but you're too kind—Hinata needs someone to tell her what she needs to hear, not what she wants to hear. I will not let my former student drown herself in despair. I will only give up my chance of being a Sensei to Naruto and Sasuke because I have full faith in Hinata's abilities."

Kakashi explained in a neutral expression.

"I think the kind approach would be a better way to approach this"

Kurenai voiced her opposition to Kakashi's method of trying to get her out of her self-imposed exile.

"If it were a different situation, I would agree, but not in this case. Hinata's situation is different; she has been betrayed, and she has lost her faith in people. The only person who can help her regain that trust is Naruto Uzumaki. For that to happen, someone outside of her team needs to set her straight. That person has to be me. You two are too close to her; you're like family. It's best if you don't get involved."

Kakashi said in a tone that left no room for a counterargument against what he was saying.

"Kakashi, I don't know if I like what you're suggesting; she's been through a lot."

Kurenai argues.

"So have I, and so have you, and so has Asuma. We've seen things worse than what she's seen; we've fought in a war and seen and done horrible things to other human beings. Hinata, what she's seen doesn't compare. Not to mention, I understand her pain in ways you don't. I know what it's like to be burdened with failure."

Kakashi said, remembering his promise to Obito to protect Rin.

He failed in his promise, and that will haunt him for the rest of his life. He had failed to protect those important to him-his sensei and other friends he barely remembers their faces-student at being so long.

"We're sorry, Kakashi. Asuma wasn't allowed to finish."

"It's fine. You two have your own teams to worry about. Let me deal with Hinata."

His colleagues took one last look at Hinata's apartment and reluctantly left, leaving Kakashi alone at his spot where he was.

Going to Hinata's apartment was something he didn't want to do, but it was necessary. He wasn't going to let his student drown in self-pity or despair; he had nothing to say about it.

Hinata has been following the same routine for the past week. She barely eats or sleeps. She doesn't even bathe. Her hair is a mess. She should have returned to duty by now, but is she really worth it? She has failed; she can't protect anyone.

She was in her room, curled up in a ball, and in the same position she had been in the past few days. She didn't notice when someone entered her room.

Kakashi appeared in front of her, and he didn't look too happy."How long are you going to stay there and feel sorry for yourself?" he asked her in a non-compassionate tone.

She looked up and saw the man who had trained her, her mentor. She looked down, ashamed. "I'm not here to feel sorry for myself." Hinata replied.

"Oh, really? Then what are you doing right now? Curled up in a ball like a crybaby, crying about your failure." Kakashi said coldly.

Hinata said coldly, "shut up."

"Why should I? I'm only saying what is true, maybe what they say about the Hyuga is true. The more I see you, the more I'm convinced that you're just like them."

"SHUT UP!"

Hinata activated her Byakugan, and she pushed Kakashi against the wall.

"Or what, what are you going to do, spoil a little princess?" Kakashi taunted.

She was so angry that she wanted to do nothing but be Kakashi to the inch of his life right now. Anything to get him to shut up.

"Meet me at the training grounds in 10 minutes. Don't be late."

Kakashi ordered, disappearing in a puff of smoke. Yes, she'll make him shut up.

She met him at the training ground, where her team trains.

Kakashi was in his gear.

Hinata didn't even bother getting dressed; she was going to make him shut up.

No words were needed; she charged right at him. He was casually blocking her blows while he read a book.

What has happened to you, Hinata? Kakashi asked her.

"You're better than this, but the very fact that I could easily defeat you by not even looking at you is proof that you are not yourself."

Kakashi pointed out much of her rage.

"I don't want to hear your damn lectures", she said, her voice full of anger.

"Does the princess think she's above being scolded for being a fool?"

Kakashi challenged

She got into her stance for the one-eighth trigram 64 palms that would make him shut up. She went straight for the kill, no one could win if they had their chakra points cut off. She hit every single one of Kakashi's chakra points and when she was done, she knocked him back against the tree. Then she noticed a log.

"amateur mistake" Kakashi taunted, then backhanded Hinata, knocking her to the ground.

She got up, wiping the dirt from her face.

"STOP TOYING WITH ME"

She screamed as she charged at him with lightning speed. This time, she used Lion Fist. Kakashi dodged casually, angering her even more. He was treating her like a child.

"Why should I take you seriously? A spoiled child doesn't deserve to be treated as anything but a child."

Kakashi said with a condescending smile.

She attacked him wildly, not caring about strategy or tactics; not caring but anything else; making him shut up; he continued to dodge, despite her best efforts; she couldn't land one blow on him.

"How pathetic was what happened to the great lioness of Konoha? What I see before me is nothing more than a spoiled child having a tantrum."

more insults, more condescension.

Kakashi was backed into a corner, he didn't want to do it, but finally landed a blow. When she hit him, it was another log.

"WHERE ARE YOU? DAMN YOU! SHOW YOURSELF, YOU COWARD!"

She screamed at him, leaving as if he were entertained by her anger and rage.

"I am everywhere and nowhere, my dear little princess. Maybe you should go back to your castle."

That's it.

She looked around with her Byakugan, looking for the real Kakashi. There were multiple Shadow clones, so she felt a backhand to her face and she was knocked to the ground.

To try to get back up, but was kicked to the side by another clone. She tried to get up again, but was only kicked by another clone to her right side and then another to her left.

"Is this what I should expect from you? To think that I even gave you your promotion. You're giving up on your first real mission because of one failure. You're a sad and pathetic excuse for a ninja. You're on the verge of giving up, like a spoiled child. I thought you had changed, but apparently I was wrong."

Kakashi said disgusted with her.

"Perhaps Kushina-san's faith in you was misplaced, perhaps Naruto also misjudged you. If he saw what you're doing now, he would be beyond sickened by you."

"You're kind like Hinata-sensei," said Naruto

"You know what? Maybe I should just kill Naruto after all. You're too weak to protect him."

She screamed like a roaring lion, did a rotation that knocked the other Shadow clones back, then she looked at the real Kakashi. She with lightning speed tackled him against the tree, slamming him hard against the tree trunk. She hit him with her flying fist over and over again.

She didn't pay attention, whether it was a shadow clone or the real thing. He didn't matter; she screamed in anguish over her failure in the Land of Waves. Everything she did, she didn't pay attention to, her bleeding hands as she continued to attack the object in front of her. When she fell over, she looked at her hands, which were covered in her own blood. Kakashi put his hand on her shoulder; she looked and saw the real Kakashi, and she collapsed exhausted.

"Now that you have let out your built-in emotions, you will be more receptive to reason. I'm sorry I said what I said to you, Hinata. I wanted you to get all those emotions out rather than let them eat at you like they have in the past two weeks. I am disappointed, though, that you are in the state that you're in. I thought you would be stronger."

She looked down, ashamed.

"I failed, Sakura's death was all my fault." she said in a barely audible whisper.

Kakashi had a neutral expression.

"Am I a good person, Kakashi-sensei?" Hinata asked him.

"Part of me wishes I would have abandoned the mission if I had done that. Sakura would still be alive Naruto. He thinks I'm a good person, but anything but good. I'm unable to trust others. I can't laugh or smile. I'm just a bitter woman. I'm not a good person. What does he see in me?"

Hinata asked him, expecting him to have the answers.

"I don't know only Naruto knows that Hinata. There was nothing you could have done; Zabuza was a formidable opponent, he knew he couldn't defeat you, so he resorted to other methods. We've all experienced failure; Hinata, all of us, without exception. All of us have lost students too; you're not unique in this."

She knew what Kakashi had said was true, but it didn't make her feel any better.

"Sakura shouldn't have died for my mistake"Hinata insisted.

"In battle, anything can happen. I've heard the report of what happened. Dwell[ing] on what ifs, what could have been, isn't healthy. Hinata, you're not honoring Sakura by drowning yourself in self-pity. Naruto and Sasuke need you; your team needs you. Hinata, we're worried about you. I know you're reluctant to open yourself up again or to trust in others, but there are people who care. Naruto cares."

Kakashi meant it, she knew it, but she couldn't bring herself to trust people or let them in; betrayal was something she didn't want to ever experience again.

"I'll leave it up to you, Hinata, whatever you do with my advice. I know you'll make the right decision; you always do that's why I believe in you and your dream."

Kakashi said with a sad smile, as she could see from his mask that he had disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving her alone.

Naruto needs her; she may be a failure, but the least she can do is fulfill her promise she had made all those years ago to look after Kushina's son.

Yes, drowning herself in self-pity would do nothing. She forced herself to get up and head to where Naruto was.

Naruto needed a place to think. He decided to go to the training grounds of Team 7. It had been almost two weeks since Naruto and his team returned from the Land of Waves mission. Before he got to the training grounds, he heard footsteps behind them. He looked and saw it was Hinata. He had not seen her since the mission. He had no idea what to say. "I'm sorry, Naruto," Hinata apologized. He had no idea how to respond. How could he? He failed his sensei. If only he had gotten to the bridge on time. If only he wasn't so rash and arrogant.

"I'm the one who should apologize," sensei. It was my arrogance and rashness that costed Sakura her life. If I hadn't been late…"

Hinata wrapped her arms around him hugged around him and spoke softly to his ear.

"It's not your fault, Naruto. There's nothing you could have done. Don't blame yourself. Don't let this eat you up." She said to him softly, her soft and soothing voice he could feel the pain in her voice. He would give anything to be able to comfort her."

"I wasn't strong enough to protect Sasuke or Sakura or you." Naruto said that last part quietly.

He wanted to be able to protect her, he was tired of being a boy, he wanted to be a man, someone worthy of respect. he wanted Hinata to acknowledge him as a man.

"You want to be a man, to be worthy of your future mate, you will have to work hard; as it stands now, you are not worthy of her; you are weak, and she knows it. If you cannot protect your her then you don't deserve her as simple as that."

Kyubi harshly what he said, but it was true.

"Can you forgive this fool, for neglecting you for this long?"

Naruto looked at her in the eye, after she pulled away; she looked like she was crying for days. He would give anything to wipe the tears from her face he would give anything to see her smile.

"There's nothing to forgive, Hinata-sensei."

Naruto said kindly

"You're so kind Naruto; it's more than I deserve."

Hinata said cracking

What happened in the Land of Waves affected everyone; everyone dealt with it differently. Sasuke dealt with it by training even harder, and Naruto did it by lashing out.

All of them were affected by Sakura's death how would he seven move forward with one of its members dead? No doubt there would be a replacement in the near future he dreaded that day no one could replace Sakura but when Naruto thinks about her it was just a crush that he once had a shallow one of that. Than he looks at Hinata he doesn't know how he feels about her it was something different when he thinks about Hinata the idea of anything happening to her he couldn't think about it he didn't want to. What were his feelings he did not know he put aside for now she was hurting more than anyone he couldn't make this about himself and his feelings.

"I'll do what I can to support you, Sensei. I know you're in pain right now, but you have my support we're friends right?"Naruto asked her.

Naruto asked her. The woman looked at him. He couldn't tell what she was thinking exactly. She turned away, not knowing why she spoke softly.

"Of course we are, Naruto."

Hinata said reassuringly

"you really mean that sensei?"Naruto asked her hoping what she said was true.

"Yes, if you're okay with it, that's the way she said it: there was a loneliness and longing for someone to be her friend to confide in."

"Be careful with someone like this She has trust issues. The fact that she is willing to accept your friendship is progress. Don't take advantage of her trust. Someone like this doesn't trust easily. If you truly want to be worthy of your woman, don't take advantage of her trust." The Fox Spirit advised.

"I would never do that," Naruto replied.

"I'm just giving you some advice, but I've seen plenty of scummy humans take advantage of women like this Hinata. She's one of the few humans I like, and I wouldn't like it if you took advantage of someone like that. Whatever you heed my advice or not is up to you."

He would take his advice to heart because he would do it regardless if he gave him that advice.

Before he could say anything, Sasuke arrived.

"So you finally came out, Sensei, so what are we going to do now?" Sasuke asked her. Naruto had the same question: they were one person short; how would they go on missions now?

"For now, we will train and get stronger together. I'm sorry to both of you for neglecting you as a sensei." Hinata said to both Naruto and Sasuke.

"Whatever happened to Sakura, I don't blame you", Naruto said to Hinata.

"It's not your fault, Sensei." Sasuke added.

"Tomorrow, we will meet at the same time and train to become stronger. So that what happened in the Land of Waves never happens again. I won't let either of you die. I swear on this with my life."

Hinata said to both of them this was a serious vow she understood what it meant. Nobody makes this sound likely, and that's what scared Naruto; he felt weak and pathetic.

Team 7 to Naruto wasn't just a cell to him; it was the closest thing he had to family. You would do everything in his power to protect them. He failed; yes, he did. Regardless of what Hinata said, he could not have done anything. He couldn't because he was weak. He needed to get stronger so he would never again be a burden on anyone and never again lose the people that he cares about.

He would train to protect Hinata, the woman who has become the most important person in his life; he would never again be a burden; he would never again freeze. But there was one thing that bothered him; he didn't know if he could talk to her about it.

2 weeks later

It had been a month since the mission she had noticed something about Naruto. Something was eating at him; she tried to keep her distance in order to give him space because of what happened. She couldn't let this go. His knuckles were bleeding. Naruto was training so intensely that he didn't notice Hinata was there; something was bothering him."You're not going to get stronger if you train like that," Hinata scolded him. Naruto turned around and then looked away in shame. He couldn't bear to face her in the past month; he hadn't made eye contact with her. Something was wrong; she had to find out why.

"What's eating at you Naruto?"Hinata asked him she waited for Naruto to give his response. He was looking to choose his words carefully from the look in his eyes. He didn't know how to tell her what he's feeling."Are we really Killers Hinata sensei?" she did not expect to be asked this question she never thought about it before."Yes that's what we are that's what we always have been. We are our village's first and last line of defense, that's what we are."She didn't mean to sound as cold as she was sounding but that's how the world worked. There was nothing honorable or glorious about being a Shinobi; it was an occupation nothing more.

"Even your a killer?" Naruto asked, not wanting to believe it. She got on her knees and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, even me, even the Hokage." She was destroying the last remnants of Naruto's childish beliefs, but it had to happen if he was going to survive in this harsh world.

"I refuse to believe that you're so kind Hinata-sensei. I have a difficult time believing that you are a killer; a killer is someone who kills without remorse. Killing in self-defense is not being a killer; I don't know how they're the same thing." Rationalizing what is objective reality, Hinata wanted to cry; she wished she could hold onto these beliefs, but she had grown up long ago.

"Naruto, what happened in your fight with Haku was not your fault." Hinata said sharply, cutting through his turmoil."What I did wasn't self-defense; it was murder." Naruto's hands were shaking; she could feel it. She placed her hands on his and she made him look at her in the eye."Naruto, look at me. You have killed for the first time. It's a part of you that changes forever. You don't know what would have happened if you didn't kill Haku. Maybe he would have stopped, or maybe he wouldn't. You can't think of what-ifs and take reality as it happened. He's dead. His blood is on your hands." She made Naruto touch her hands and demonstrated her point further by making him look at her hands.

"When I was 12, I killed a girl. I impaled her. I was in the exact same position as you were then. Was it murder what I did? I things happen so quickly, I didn't think about it; I just did it. I did what was expected of me."

She took a deep breath due to how unpleasant the memory of that first kill was. Unfortunately he was associated with it

flashback 7 years ago Hinata first kill

She was battling enemies stronger than anything she had faced before at the academy. None of the enemies she had fought or encountered before were missing-nin. While this current opponent is around Chunin rank in terms of skill, she had recently graduated from the academy and was not prepared for a life-or-death situation like this.

The girl had long white hair, all of her skin was red, and her eyes were red from the scratches on her headband. She was from Kumogakure, and the sight of anyone from that part of the five nations disgusted her.

"I can't control where I was born, Konoha scum", the girl replied.

"The only good Cloud ninja is a dead Cloud Ninja", Hinata replied. Though she came off as brave on the inside, she was terrified of taking another life, even if it was an enemy from a nation that is a borderline enemy, despite the official records saying the opposite.

The girl wasted no time; she went straight to Hinata. If you bring your eyes as a present to a black market salesman, I can make a fortune.

A white-haired girl said, "The idea of someone using the Byakugan as something to be sold is disgusting to Hinata."

She struck her opponent at the chest, knocking her back. Completely caught off guard, the girl went into her own fighting stance, not wanting to be killed by a newbie.

"Fresh meat from the Hyūga Clan is getting cocky; you should have stayed in your castle, princess."

Girl said mockingly; Hinata wasn't going to take the bait.

"Do not underestimate her," said a raven-haired man. "I won't," replied Hinata to her squad.

"I'll cover you, Hinata" said Itachi, who was right by her side. "Take care of it yourself, Itachi-kun" he didn't reply.

He looked at her concerned, "I can do it" she insisted.

Itachi relented and came to Shisui with stronger opponents than the one Hinata was facing.

There was silence between them. Neither did they make a move. This was her first test, and if she could defeat this foe, she would be closer to her goal.

The girl made her first move; she tried to strike it with Hinata's chakra points, using chakra needles that are used to disrupt the flow of someone's chakra - it being a deadly weapon in capable hands - she blocked the girl's blows with her gentle fist.

"Unfortunately, you're against a Hyuga. The Byakugan has no blind spots." She said with a voice of arrogance, confident enough to back it up. She tried to attack Hinata's right thigh, but Hinata blocked. She tried to attack Hinata's left hand, but Hinata had energy-like blades that caused the girl to back off, not knowing what kind of jutsu Hinata was about to unleash.

A chakra-claw appeared on both hands. It was a Jitsu that she had developed on her own. She wanted to test it out in combat. She combined aspects of the Gentle Fist with this Ninjutsu. Her hands went in a claw position and she shouted.

"cruel fist 1.8 trigrams 24 palms"

She slashed at the girl like a tiger; every hit that landed was like a cut with a blade. The girl was shocked, and when he knocked, it was done. When she slashed in a downward motion, the girl was shocked on how fast she was.

She wasted no more words; she did another technique in this style that she had created.

Cruel Fist (1.8 Trigrams). Palm Blade. She went straight at the girl, a blade as long as a spear going straight through the girl's chest, slamming her against the tree. The girl looked at her in shock as the life left her. She couldn't believe what had just happened; she had just killed someone for the first time.

When the moment passed, when the adrenaline cited, she couldn't believe it; she had just done a jitsu that she had created, worked hard to make perfect. She had just killed another human being. Her hands were shaking; they were completely covered in the girl's blood. The girl was no older than she was, one or two years at most, and she killed her.

"Snap out of it," Shisui told Hinata. She looked at her friend.

"she is way too kind for this Shisui"Itachi said coming to her defense.

"We are Shinobi, Itachi. There's a time and place for kindness and compassion. This is not one of them. That girl had viable information that could have endangered people's lives back in Konoha." He looked at her, despite his harsh words, he was understanding.

"Hinata don't feel guilty about what you did; it was self-defense, and she would have killed you. Don't dwell on it. If you couldn't have spared her life, there was no other way."

She looked at the girl's body, not believing that she had just killed someone. With a new technique that her clan would never think of, she looked at the girl's body.

She never wanted to use the cruel fist again, which is a dangerous technique for the user and those around them.

"Whatever you're thinking, Hinata, you are correct: cruel fist is dangerous. Use it only when necessary, or it could kill you and those you care about." advised Itachi.

She had difficulty breathing. This was not what she wanted. She didn't want to be a killer.

"Hinata, I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to hear this: sooner or later, someone else will tell you it's better, so I'll tell you myself. We're shinobi, and that's what we'll always be. You're not a child anymore; your childhood ended the moment you got that headband around your neck. It's time to act like an adult." said her childhood friend Shisui.

"We should go; we don't want to linger here." She looked one last time at the dead girl and then looked at her friends from the Uchiha clan. They were right: as much as she hated to admit it.

She had almost forgotten about that memory about her first kill and how it was associated with Itachi and Shisui. She shoved that memory down to the deepest depths of her mind. She would not think of him, regardless of the context of the memories. Naruto needed her guidance, and she would not get any guidance by pulling from the past, especially from that certain man.

This would kill the last aspect of his childhood innocence, the way he looks at the world. She had this romanticized view of what shinobi are, only to have it shattered on her first mission, where she fought to the death against a girl the same age as she was.

"Someday I tend to change this village. I want to redefine what it means to be a Shinobi," her 12-year-old self said such childish dribble. She abandoned that way of thinking when she killed for the first time. She had almost forgotten one of the other reasons she wanted to be Hokage Naruto. She wanted him to stay true to himself; she didn't want him to be like her - everyone else."Thank you, Naruto. You reminded me why my dream is as important to me as it is. Thank you." This wasn't easy for either of them. She knew this: she would like to believe that Naruto can change things, that they can change things.

Before they could engage in any further conversation, someone approached them. An Abu she wondered what they wanted."Hokage-sama has summoned you" she wondered what this was about; she sighed."Remember what I said, Naruto" she went with her escort and headed to his office.

After Hinata left, Naruto thought heavily about what they discussed. The harsh reality that Kyubi had told him didn't sit well with him. He hated what both of them said, but did he really have to define himself based on what a bunch of old fossils say?"She told you the exact same thing I told you, not as harshly, but it's the truth. What are you going to do now?"He asked him. Naruto didn't know what to do. The only thing he knew for sure was that he had to get a lot stronger. He felt weak and useless as long as he stayed a boy; he couldn't protect his friends or her. The one thing he cared about the most right now was being stronger so he could be equal to Hinata and worthy of her.