
Time is like a river. It floats and floats, sometimes barely noticeable, sometimes fast like a storm. And after a while, what feels just like a few hours, maybe even days, you notice that already years have passed. Many years, filled with sad and wonderful memories, with the losses and wins, with beauty and ugliness.
Kanna, wife of Ashura Otsutsuki, doesn't want to miss just one of this years. Of course it wasn't always easy, there were so much moments, even hours, which she would wish they never happened. Most of them include Indra, her brother-in-law. The older Otsutsuki brother with his childish jealousy and more than bad behavior caused so much trouble and grief, especially for her husband.
Since they parted on more than bad terms, Ashura did spend the rest of his life trying to find a solution to help Indra back onto the right way. But no matter what he tried or said, nothing brought back the old Indra.
Kanna doesn't know for sure how the Otsutsuki brothers were in their childhood but Ashura spoke so much about this time. The melancholy in his brown warm eyes and sadness in every of his words always broke her heart. But she couldn't help him out of his despair, not even their children could really reach their fathers heart. She doesn't doubt his love for his sons and his daughter but there was always something which stood between Ashura and his family.
Kanna has an idea what or who this could be. Well, better said, she knows it almost for sure. But as she confronted Ashura, he just showed his toothy smile and pecked her lips with the words "Don't be silly, my girl. Noone ever could stand between us." But she knew better. She knew he lied to him because his eyes showed no shine, no happiness, not even sadness or anger. They were empty. They stayed empty. They showed how his heart looks like.
And during the years it never changed. Not even when their first grandson was born. Kanna still remembers when Ashura held the little boy for the first time onto his arms. He smiled. He stroked gently over the thick black hair. He also pecked the little baby's forehead. He loved him from the first moment on. But he didn't shine. He didn't showed the light she saw when they met for the first time. It made her desperated, worried, almost angry.
What did Indra to him? What did he do to the light which always brightened up everyone's soul? Kanna couldn't help but hate him for the pain and despair he caused to his little brother.
Than their granddaughter was born. And Ashuras light started to shine again as he saw her for the first time. Thick brown locks and brown almond eyes. Kanna felt sick in her stomach. The little girl almost looked like Indra. A cruel gift from her husbands bloodline. But she forbade herself to care about that in the moment she saw Ashura that happy, that shining.
Even tho he loved all of his grandchildren dearly, it was clear that he loved the little girl the most. He spoiled her rotten, protected her from all bad and gave her so much love and care that it was enough for hundreds of other children. But than again destiny played a bad game and a devastating sickness rolled over the lands.
Fortunately most of the people in their village could get rescued. But not their granddaughter. The little girl almost immediately felt sick. She fought so hard for her life, Ashura fought so hard for her life. But the fight was lost before it even began and she died slowly and painful. She wasn't even six years old.
Kanna felt sad and bad for the loss of the little innocent child. But no pain she felt could compare to the pain from the heartbreak Ashura went through. In this moment where they buried the girl and she saw her husband that pale and even more empty than before, she cursed the life for being that cruel and unfair. Ashura didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to always lose people he loves so dearly.
After the death of their granddaughter, nothing was like before. The heartbreak was to much for Ashura, the loss was the final punch.
The old woman holds the hand from the man she loves more than anything onto this world while he lays onto his futon. Tears burn into her eyes and want to fall but she doesn't allow herself to show any weakness infront of his husband. He needs her more than ever, that she knows.
His eyes, once shining in a warm soft brown, are now almost grey. A result from the age and the blindness which takes his eyelight a bit more with every day. But he looks at her, his lips pulled into a slight smile. It looks like a apology. It's meant like an apology. But Kanna doesn't want it. She knows what he's apologizing for. But she can't be mad for that. She can't be mad for something the heart desires.
His eyes flutter softly, a tear running down his cheek. He presses her hand a bit than his fingers lose their grip and his eyes fall shut. A soft gasp escapes his lips and the candle which burned onto next to her expires. Knowing that he's gone, her hands start to shake and she allows her tears to fall while a desperated painful cry escapes her throat.
The weeks passed but Kanna still can't believe that Ashura isn't with her anymore. But can she say that he was with her in the years they spend with eachother? Maybe physical but not with his heart and soul. He told her so much during his last hours on earth. He revealed secrets she always had a feeling that they would be there but was to afraid it could be really true.
During the days after his funeral, Kanna found herself mad at Ashura. Mad for lying to her for so long. But even more mad for pressuring him into something he never wanted, just to make her happy and to give himself a reason to hold further onto this life. He was to kindhearted. Would Kanna had known how he really felt, she would had never agreed to marry him. No matter how much it would had hurt her, she would had stayed by his side as a good friend, maybe also something like a sister. But not as a wife.
Sighing, she makes herself on the way to graveyard. It's already late in the afternoon, the sun dyes the sky into orange and red. Ashura always told her how often in his childhood he watched the sun going down. How he loved the sight while wrapped into a thick blanket, together with Indra.
Indra.....
No matter how much this man disgusts her, she can't help but ask herself if he already knows about Ashuras death. Or if he already died by himself.
She shakes her head. No, Ashura would had already known if something like that would had happened. But he never mentioned anything like that before so she assumes that the older of the brothers is still alive and lives his life in perfect health.
Her work-out fingers claw around the basket she carries with herself. Again it's something Kanna finds unfair. Why is Indra allowed to live in his own perfect world while Ashura has suffered the most time of his life?
The old woman passes the old gate which separates the graveyard from the rest of the village. It's a peaceful place with lots of trees, wildflowers and herbs. Especially now the scent of them surrounds her. It's calming and if she wouldn't know that it's a graveyard, she could also think this is the garden of a fairy or another mythical creature.
Kanna surrounds a gravestone, it just needs a few more steps and she would have arrived her target. But than she stops, her eyes growing large and the basket almost slides out of her hand.
With a fast beating heart, she stares at the person standing infront of Ashuras grave. A black cloak is wrapped around the tall thin body and the long white hair is tied together. Just a few brown hair straights here and there show the original hair color from the person infront of her. And this Chakra....
Gulping, Kanna makes a step again, her whole body trembles. To say that she has fear, is an understatement. She is horrified. In her youth, she has seen and also felt what this person is capable of.
"Indra....?"
Unfortunately her mouth is faster than the information to not pull his attention to her has reached her brain. Quietly wincing, she slaps her hand infront of her mouth, hoping that he hasn't heard her. Unfortunately her hopes get crashed as the male raises his head. It's just barely noticeable, a normal person would have missed it easily. But Ashura had taught her so many through their years together that's not difficult for Kanna to notice that.
"What do you want?" Indras voice sounds husky, almost weak, as if he had.... cried. But the old woman doubts that. She doesn't believe that this man would feel something like sadness or sorrow because his brother is dead. To be honest, she doesn't even believe that Indra is capable of feeling something others than disgust or hate for other people than himself, especially when it comes to his family, his own flesh and blood.
Taking her courage together, Kanna lets sink her hand again and narrows her eyes.
"I think that I have more right to ask what YOU want here, Indra. Since I know you, you hadn't anything better to do than to hurt Ashura with your childish and selfish behavior, over and over again. I could never understand why he didn't gave up on you. Even in his last moments his thoughts were with you. Not with me, not with our children or grandchildren, just with you."
Kanna feels tears burning into her eyes as she understands again that she never were able to take Indras place in Ashuras heart. Ignoring her aching heart, she steps aside, her hand pointing in the direction she just came from.
"I wish you to go now, Indra. You're not welcome here, you never was and never will be. Just stay away from us, from this village and especially from him", Kanna demands and feels her heart sinking as the male turns around to face her. Even now, in his old age, it's just crystal clear that he once was a handsome man. But his eyes are dark and emotionless, and his lips are pressed together into a thin line. That hasn't changed since the moment they saw eachother for the last time, many many years ago.
Kanna highly doubts that Indra has ever noticed her.
Making slowly his way in her very direction, Indra stares at her without even blinking just once.
"So he has married you? Interesting. You can be sure that I don't see you as something more worthy than the dirt under my shoes. You may have been his wife, old woman, but that makes neither you nor your brats my family."
He stops, just a few inches left between them, and looks down at her. This situation makes Kanna sick because of fear but also because of the anger broiling inside her chest. She knows for sure that, even being an old man now, Indra has still the strength to break her neck with just one hand. But no matter how strong or powerful he is, that doesn't give him the right to speak with her like with one of his slaves he surely has enough from.
Letting her hand sinking at her side again, she balls them to a fist. This man disgusts her so much and if she could than she would vomit right onto his expensive looking sandals, just to show what she thinks about him. But Kanna surpresses this urge, she wouldn't start a fight onto the graveyard and especially not infront of Ashuras grave. The fact that she wouldn't even survive such a fight gets pushed into the darkest corner of her mind.
"Are you ready now? I haven't any time to let myself pull into such a low-leveled discussion. Just vanish and go back to your high praised Ninshu school, teach your students how they can destroy every bond by just wanting power and especially how they can destroy the only person whom ever loved them so deeply that said person pressures himself into things he never wanted just to try to bring them back onto the right way."
Kanna looks at Indra while a few tears stream over her old face. This words were spoken in desperation, in anger and sadness. They needed to be spoken out. She didn't even imagine to get any reaction. But she was wrong. So wrong.
Indras face expression immediately turns into a shocked one, his skin gets even more pale than it already was and he stares at her with wide eyes. He opens his mouth but than closes it again. Seems like he's in a loss of words.
"What.....", is the only word he finally gets pressed out of his throat. Kanna looks at him, not believing what she's just seeing. In his normally cold blank eyes is now a whirlwind full with emotions. But what exactly she can't tell. Not yet.
The old woman sighs trembling and opens her fist slowly.
"It's how I said, Indra. Your behavior and your will to fight Ashura, to destroy him.... It killed him. Slowly and painful. When I were young, I was to blind to see the obvious. I was to lovestruck to see that even he was willing to marry me, his heart would never be mine. It was you. The whole time. You stood between us, like a phantom. He never looked never at me with the same tenderness and love like he looked at you. Even when he spoke about you, his eyes were filled with so much longing, with so much pain that it did hurt me just to look at him. Maybe I was the dumb one after all. I should have known. Maybe I did know the whole time but I didn't want to understand the meaning behind his acting, behind every word he spoke about you."
She stops and lowers her head, not being able to look at Indra anymore. His eyes tell a whole story. A story she doesn't want to hear. Not again. But right now she feels anything else than hate for her brother-in-law. She feels pity. Pity and sadness.
With a heavy sigh, Kanna lays a hand onto Indras shoulder. "He always loved you, Indra. He loved you the way I wish he would have loved me." With this words she turns around and leaves the graveyard again, leaving Indra alone with his thoughts and his feelings.
It's hard for her to admit but she can understand him. At least a bit. Because they have one thing in common. Neither of them was allowed to live his life with the love of the one they desired.
Fin