4-Is it Ever Really 'Only' Anymore?
Kamado Akina’s POV
I wake up with Nezuko draped over my back, Inosuke curled up in my arms, Tanjiro trying to claim all of the blankets, and Zenitsu clinging to all of us like velcro.
“How the fuck?” I mumble, most of my hair tangled between Nezuko’s hair and under Inosuke’s mask.
I gingerly begin tugging that free first. Allowing myself the ability to move my head and check that nobody broke their stitches or…
…
…
“...hello children too old for me to take care of.” I state bluntly to Tomioka, Tokito, Kanroji, and Rengoku, who blink open their eyes blearily at me as I stare bluntly at them from the bottom of a dog pile. “What might you be doing here?”
“Uh…” Tokito hesitates, turning pink, Rengoku beams at me as his ears dust with a similar blush, Tomioka buries his face in my neck, and Kanroji blushes all the way down her throat to her chest.
“Really?” I drawl, looking at Nezuko, who is peacefully asleep and still muzzled. “Tomioka, you of all people should fucking know better.”
“I came here for cuddles, these fuckers-”
“H-hey!” Kanroji protests weakly, but I snicker softly at them all.
“Alright, alright, y’all are big soft babies who care too much and don’t know any better.” I snicker wickedly at them, they all turn bright red, “Now let me up, I need to pee.”
I emerge from the bathroom with clean hands, a clean face, brushed hair, my hair in a neater bun than it has been, and a sense of purpose.
That sense of purpose is ruined by the sight of Kocho having a standoff with Tomioka and Nezuko in the doorway of the room.
“They need rehabilitation therapy!”
“Akina and I can-”
“Neither of you are doctors!”
“You aren’t either!”
“I’m trained in-” I step between them and show them my medical license - (neither of them need to know my PhD isn’t related to this type of medicine) - and they go quiet. Both Tomioka and Kocho are gobsmacked, but Nezuko damn-nearglows with pride at the sight of my medical license.
I almost feel bad for the fake-out.
“I can rehab them. I can train them.” I state, narrowing my eyes at Kocho as she opens her mouth again, “Now leave us alone.”
“But-”
“Now.” Tomioka snarls, the area around him suddenly grows cold and heavy, mist gathering around him-
I grab him by the back of the neck and pick him up like a misbehaving cat.
“Ow ow ow-” Tomioka mutters, but stops gathering water around him, and I set him back down gently as Kocho scrambles away down the hall. “Why did you do that? It hurt…”
I sigh, shaking my head at him.
“C’mon, we have to make Zenitsu take his medicine now. I’m gonna need you to help me hold him down.” I state, motioning with my head towards the sleeping pile.
“Ooh, that’s gonna be a rude wake-up call for the rest of them…” Tomioka snickers, I smirk but shake my head at him, and Nezuko gawks at us, then flips out.
She shakes us as best she can, pulls on our clothes, pushes on us, yanks on our hands…
It’s like when I was about to find one of her hiding places for candy or food when she was a little kid. I chuckle at her softly, patting her head as she repeatedly fails to make me stop and only succeeds in making Tomioka dig his heels in.
“Nezuko, the medicine is necessary. He needs to take it or he’ll be stuck like this forever at best.” I tell her, gently taking her face in my hands and kissing her forehead. She whines pitifully at me, staring up at me with big, soft eyes. “I know you’re worried because it makes his brain weird, but it’s for his own health - if he doesn’t take it, he might wind up turning into one of those creepy human-headed spiders! We don’t know how that poison works, okay?”
She whines again, but nods and stops pushing at us.
“Now for the hard part.” Tomioka grumbles,
“Careful, you might make it sound like the demon has more common sense and reason than a human.” I tease, he gives me an exasperated stare, and I snicker loudly. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop, but this kid seriously needs to see someone about his anxiety.”
“Understatement of the century.” Tomioka grumbles, quietly reaching in and gently pulling Zenitsu from the pile as I pull his medicine packet out and start the kettle. “Let’s hope you’re wrong about the sleep-walking though.”
“I can still hear you.” I whisper in sing-song, teasingly, he gives me a baffled look, so I sing-song it slightly louder and Tomioka gets mildly offended. I snicker as I mix Zenitsu’s medicine in with the warmed water, turning off the kettle before it can fully boil.
“Okay, the medicine is-”
“Thunder Breathing-” Nezuko and I move in sync, quickly tackling Tomioka out of the way before I hook the stool out from under Zenitsu using my ankles and catch him using one arm.
“EHH!?” Zenitsu shrieks,
“RAWWRRR!” Inosuke shoots upright, screaming in rage, a pillow in one hand and a blanket in the other.
“WHO - WHAT - EH?!” Tanjiro pulls his sword from under the cot, directing his attention first to the door, then to the window, finally to… “Inosuke, what the Hell, man?!”
“I AM THE MOUNTAIN KING-”
“Sit down.” I state sharply, standing up with Zenitsu in one arm, Tomioka and Nezuko squished together in the other. “Both of you.”
Tanjiro sits down immediately, Inosuke turns around first and has to actually see me and see how angry I am before his ass hits the floor. Nezuko, Tomioka, and Zenitsu all stare up at me in fear and surprise as I seethe down at the two boys.
“What part of the rule on no fighting other Demon Slayers is confusing to you two?” I snarl out, low and deep, and Tanjiro shivers quietly as Inosuke shrinks into himself. “This is the second time you two have attempted violence in my presence - how many times have you two managed to come to blows when I wasn’t there to stop you?”
“Oh shit.” Tomioka murmurs, “They pushed that button.”
“Team Mom is angry! Team Mom is angry!” Zenitsu mutters fearfully, curling into himself as his eyes well up, I wilt immediately as Nezuko bursts into snickers and stares at Zenitsu with absolute joy. “Oh no - I’m next in trouble!”
“I’m not your mother - to any of you.” I grumble angrily, “I’m too fucking young for kids.”
Tomioka wheezes.
“Akina - you’re thirty!” The Water user makes a noise like he’s dying, and the door cracks open slightly. “How the Hell is that ‘too young’ for anything!”
“Careful, you’ll make it sound like she disowned somebody.” I look over at Oyakata-sama with a bored expression as Tomioka, Nezuko, and Tanjiro all gasp and try to bow - or actually bow, since Tanjiro is already sitting. “Ah! Please, don’t any of you bow - too many of you are injured! Akina, I need your swords for the matter we discussed before Nezuko was allowed out of her box yesterday.”
I sigh tiredly, gently crouching in order to put the three hooligans on the floor before walking over to where I piled my swords and haori on the cot last night… Where everyone other than Tanjiro piled their haori and their swords last night…
“I swear, it’s like all of you brats decided I was ‘Mom’ one random-ass day of the week and now-” I carry on grumbling as I shift through the pile of clothes and swords, only finding mine after I nearly flip the bed due to how much weight I shift onto one side. “Okay, who am I handing my swords to? Do not say the girls because I fucking know better.”
Oyakata-sama holds his hands out, and I hand him my weapons. The girls lead him away by the elbows and I close the door softly.
“Okay, what was that about?” Tomioka asks, I pause, staring at the door, “Akina? Why did Oyakata-sama need your swords?”
“I…” I take a deep, calming breath, Nezuko gently grabs the edges of my shirt. “I joined the Hashira.”
It takes nearly a week of bedrest before anyone is ready for rehabilitation training. Iyashi and Yaju help me, getting the boys stretched out before their sessions with me start, where I run them through a set of drills.
Warm-ups is jumping rope a hundred times, walking a lap around the yard, then jumping rope another hundred times, then another lap around the yard, another hundred jump ropes, then a final lap.
(Zenitsu cried when I described it, Tanjiro almost collapsed, and Inosuke looked exhausted at the thought.)
(Maybe if Inosuke hadn’t skipped training so much, he’d find this easier!)
The first part of the workout is a tri-set of 3x12 incline dumbbell bench press, 3x12 incline dumbbell chest flyes, and 3x15 dips.
The second tri-set is 3x12 cable tricep pushdowns with rope, 3x12 cable tricep overhead extension with rope, and 3x12 cable tricep kickbacks.
The final mini-circuit (both Tanjiro and Zenitsu were crying on this point on days one and two, so the boys got off easy and only had to do one round on those days, but by the end of the week, they were doing the full workout of three circuits!) is 20 pushups, 20 sit ups, 20 plank-to-push ups, 15 pushups, 15 chest flyes, 15 sit ups, 10 push ups, 10 sit ups, and 10 plank-to-push ups.
Then we’d break for water and a small snack (and Zenitsu’s medicine.)
Then Iyashi and Yaju would make them stretch again.
Then we’d continue with a third tri-set of 3x12 front squats, 3x12 weighted lunges, and 3x15 straight leg deadlift with dumbbells.
Tri-set number four is 3x12 leg presses, 3x12 calf raises on leg presses, and 3x12 seated calf raises on each arm.
Then we’d break for another small snack and some more water (and some more theatrics involving medicine and Zenitsu.)
Then we got into core work (or, as Inosuke put it, Demon’s work.)
(Like, thanks kid. I totally didn’t design this workout or anything.)
First was 3x60 second plank hold (or as long as they could manage,) then 3x30 sit ups with twist, and 3x30 hanging knee raises with twist.
Then we did 3x30 second (or as long as they could manage) L-sit hold, 3x30 weighted sit ups, and 3x30 hanging leg raises.
Finally it was time for dinner and bed.
I ran them through that workout for nearly three weeks before I was happy with their progress. Iyashi and Yaju were…skeptical…of my routine, but I told them that it’s what I was trained with and they shut up.
Although, I notice that we get watched.
A lot.
Sumi, Kiyo, Naho, and Aoi, from Kocho-san’s Butterfly Mansion.
Hinaki, Nichika, Kiriya, Kanata, Kuina, and Ubuyashiki-san, from Oyakata-sama’s own house.
Tomioka, Kanroji, Iguro, Himejima, Uzui, and Tokito also find various reasons, ways, and places to hang around and watch, listen, or outright spy on the training.
(Incredibly annoying, to put it lightly.)
“Boys,” I call to them one morning, they all pause, looking back at me while in the middle of putting on their shoes on the porch. “How would you all like to learn a secret Hashira training technique?”
They all cheer, and I pat Nezuko on the head softly.
“Once you're human again, I promise I’ll teach it to you too, okay?” I smile at her softly, she smiles back, unmuzzled in my presence and my presence alone. “Okay boys, come here really quick and I’ll explain it to you.”
I explain to them how the other Hashira members use their Total Concentration Breathing Techniques twenty-four-seven-three-sixty-five. The boys are skeptical, but willing to try it after some mild encouraging (in their own languages.)
“Oh, Inosuke, obviously you can’t do it.” I tut at him, he almost explodes, “I should’ve known better - all those skipped training sessions and all. You must just be too weak to even try it, huh?”
“Huh!? What’d you just say to me!? Y’know what! I’ll be the first one to finish it - NO! I’LL BE THE FIRST ONE TO MASTER IT!” Inosuke bolts away, screaming, and I smirk as I quickly grab Zenitsu’s hands in mine, staring deeply into his eyes as my ponytail flows elegantly, my pink bow flowing adorably with it in a gentle arc.
“Zenitsu, I believe in you. I’m your number one supporter, don’t you know that?” I ask him, sweet as strawberry pie, and his entire face flushes pink as he melts into a stuttering puddle - then he bolts off too.
“Well, that’s terrifying.” Tanjiro states, I turn to him with a smirk, “Yeah, there is absolutely no need. But thanks for the nightmare fuel.”
“Isn’t that what big sisters are for?” I ask him sweetly, then grab him in a tight hug and give him a bunch of sticky, lipstick-covered kisses to the head and face.
“EW EW EW!!! NEZUKO HALP! SHE’S SMOTHERING ME!!!” Tanjiro shrieks, thrashing desperately in my arms, I continue to cover him in kisses as Nezuko headbutts my back and yelps in pain - then I turn around and snatch her.
“AHHH!” They both howl, lots of giggling comes from the bushes and trees and fencing as I cover my baby siblings in lipstick prints.
“Alright then Tanjiro, are you ready to go train yet?” I taunt, still squeezing him and holding him off the floor.
“YES, YES! LET ME GOO!” He shrieks, I laugh, and give him a small toss. He lands on his feet, crouching on the porch for a moment before scrambling madly after Zenitsu and Inosuke.
“Alright, Nezuko. Hate to say it, but,” I set her on her feet, and she tiredly places her muzzle in her mouth. I sigh softly as I tighten the silken strands around the back of her head. “Back to the box with you. You can’t risk sun exposure, okay?”
She nods, and trots back to ‘our’ room with a small skip in her step.
“You didn’t need to do that, you know.” Ubuyashiki-san says, stepping around the corner quietly, I give her a disbelieving stare, one eyebrow raised. “You…behave differently…around these kids.”
“Two of them are my siblings.” I state simply, turning back to the boys as she inches closer, wary of me after what happened…last time. “The other two…they need someone. Inosuke either doesn’t know that or refuses to accept it. Zenitsu knows this, but is afraid of it for some reason. Either way, I can’t leave them behind. They’re too young, too…”
(Blood splashes across flowers, a fourteen-year-old boy falls dead to the ground.)
I close my eyes, gritting my teeth softly as I dig my nails into the skin of my arms.
“They’re always too young, in my opinion.” Ubuyashiki-san murmurs, I look over to her, but she’s watching the boys, “You were…older than this, right? When you joined?”
I sigh heavily, but nod.
“Yes, I was.” I admit, recalling that my Final Examination was literal days after my birthday, “I was seventeen - and I had nearly seven years of training-”
“Seven years?” Ubuyashiki-san gasps, I give her a small, slightly strained smile as she covers her mouth, “W-why would you train for so long!? Surely your cultivator thought you were ready before that?!”
“My first one thought I was ready after six months of training.” I admit, and she pauses, “I wanted to continue, but he went to take over another student from a friend, and I watched as all three of them were killed. I hunted that demon down, then found a different person to train me - I thought…I thought you could train the fear away.”
“Oh, Akina.” I inhale deeply, opening my eyes as I watch the boys cheer each other on, screaming loud enough - more than loud enough, actually - to cover our conversation. “How…how many cultivators…?”
“Five.” She inhales, once again covering her mouth, and her other hand comes up to rest on my bicep as I flinch away from her touch.
“H-how many-”
“Only two of them.” I murmur, watching as Tanjiro collapses and Zenitsu helps him up, “But is it ever really ‘only’ anymore?”