Day 23
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“What if this is my fault?”
Sakura looked over to her husband, his usually stoic expression was twisted in worry. “Don’t go placing any blame,” she advised, her hand finding his as they walked and giving him a reassuring squeeze. “We still don’t know the whole story.”
Gaara thinned his lips and drew his brow together, he’d been deep in thought ever since their presence was requested at the academy building. “He got into a fight.”
“I bet you it was a scuffle,” she replied.
“Has he said anything to you about this?” he asked, his concern clearly showing through.
Sakura shook her head. “He might be having a hard time adjusting, it’s nothing we can’t work through.”
Gaara sighed, the weight of indecision pressing down on him. “I knew we should’ve waited till next year; it was too soon.”
Sakura let go of his hand and patted his shoulder as he held open the academy’s front door for her. “He wanted to,” she reminded him. “He told us he was ready. We have to trust that.”
A few members of staff were milling about the halls and they lowered their heads as the Kazekage and his wife passed. It was just after noon, in the middle of the week, and they’d left their offices to meet with the head of the academy; apparently there had been a fight at the athletic fields during lunch. Gaara had been precipitating a nervous sweat their entire walk there, thinking of all the things that had gotten him in trouble as a young man, whereas Sakura was more so reminded of the endearing way that her young teammates always found trouble for themselves.
“You’ll be fine,” she teased, nudging him with her elbow.
He nodded, taking a breath and regaining his usual composure. Again, he opened the office door for her, allowing his wife through first before closing it behind himself. The chief administrator got up to greet them and extended an offer to the seats across his desk.
“Please,” he said. “Have a seat. Thank you both for coming on such short notice.”
Sakura took her seat, poised and giving off an air of calm, and said, “Of course, thank you for calling us. Can you tell us about what happened?”
Gaara nodded for the man to begin, he wanted to get right the point, and his eyes slid to the side of the room where a young boy sat pouting with his arms crossed. He looked upset. Sakura leaned out from beside her husband and smiled at him, waving a little hello.
Shinki frowned and looked away.
Keeping his composure, Gaara’s pulse still raced through his chest. He’d been worried something like this might happen, he’d tried talking Shinki out of studying a year at the academy before assigning him a team. He was already so bright and incredibly skilled; he could have passed all the qualifying exams for his certifications with just a few months practice and without the hassle of attending the classes. But Shinki had wanted to give it a try, told him he wanted to be just like the normal kids, how could he tell him no after that? Though, Gaara had a sneaking suspicion it was actually because it was Riku’s first year at the academy.
When the administrator began retelling how the staff had discovered Shinki fighting with a classmate, the boy in question peeked over at the two that had been called to deal with him. Gaara sat composed and stone-faced, much as he always was, and even though Shinki had lived with them for quite some time now, he still found it difficult to get a read on him. Sakura was much more open with her emotions, she’d worn them on her sleeve since day one, and he could plainly see as her worry became more evident the longer the administrator talked.
He sighed, this was so stupid, he shouldn’t even be in trouble, there was nothing else he could have done and no other way he would have rather responded.
“As you know,” the man spoke in conclusion. “We take disputes among classmates very seriously. Having a healthy competition is one thing, but for interpersonal issues we’ve asked for the parents’ involvement.”
Gaara and Sakura nodded, agreeing that more discussion would be needed. Then, Sakura turned in her chair to better face Shinki and asked, “Is that what happened, Shinki?”
He hadn’t looked at her, but he did nod once, and he heard Gaara take a slow breath when he did. Shinki’s hand clenched his arm, he’d come to know some of the Kazekage’s darker past and how easily he could replicate those very same mistakes, and he swore he could feel that radiating disappointment now.
Sakura was talking with the administrator again. “Have you spoken with the other student?” They had, but the student had recalled nothing out of the ordinary and the fight being unprovoked. “So, he claimed no wrong doing?” There was twinge of disbelief in her voice, though – caught up in his thoughts and feeling the weight of his actions – Shinki hadn’t heard it.
“He’s lying,” he grumbled as he slouched deeper into his seat, his eyes glaring at the ground, the iron dusting over his clothes beginning to bristle.
Sakura then asked, “What was that?”
“He’s lying!” he snapped, the anger in his eyes lifting to her face only to be met with that same patient concern that always had him doubling back. He quickly looked away, his outbursts had been feeling more frustrating and misplaced these days, and they no longer helped him deal with his emotions.
Gaara spoke up then, and the patience in his voice gave Shinki a moment’s pause. “Then tell us what happened,” he advised. “Did he do something, or say something?” Gaara had hoped it wasn’t for the same minor infractions he used to send people to the hospital for, but if it was, they were actions he would only come to regret.
Shinki was quiet as he thought, wondering if his actions really had been justified as he thought them in the moment. Now, with three pairs of eyes staring him down, waiting for his answer, he was suddenly overcome with doubt. He’d made his classmate cry after all, and he was sure that he embarrassed him in front of his friends, likely hurting his own chances of finding any for himself, but then Shinki thought of Riku. He was still so young and the older kids could pick on him too easily, it’s why he wanted to go to the academy in the first place. He made no mistake that it would be tough for him, but he didn’t want Riku to go alone, he knew how much being alone sucked.
He grumbled something under his breath, arms still crossed in front of him, shoulders held up to his ears, that sour expression glaring daggers at the corner.
Sakura again had to encourage him, “Speak up, Shinki, and speak clearly.”
He’d gone a little pink in the face, embarrassed to have to say it again, but with his face turned from them he said, “He made fun of Riku for taking after our mom.”
Gaara’s steadying hand immediately found his wife’s knee as she quickly stifled a gasp. She was squeezing his hand then, her other covering her mouth though he could still hear her mutter Shinki’s last words. “Our mom.”
Shinki peaked over upon hearing the small sound she had made. Sakura’s ears had gone red and Gaara was clearly biting the inside of his lip just to keep his composure. The administrator was the most shocked to hear his reasons for starting a schoolyard brawl and asked, “He did what?”
“This makes sense now,” Gaara muttered, halfway relieved that Shinki hadn’t fought a kid for a no reason, and halfway more concerned that it meant his other son was getting teased for having the likeness of his mother.
“Goodness,” the man gaped from across the desk. “I’m so sorry, we had no idea – we’ll look into this right away.”
Sakura took a steady breath and cleared her throat. “That’s all right, I’d like to be connected with the parents first. We will discuss this with them.” The man agreed, apologetic to the very end, and he quickly gathered the contact information of the other parents and gave it to her.
“We’ll be keeping a close eye on things for the next few days,” the administrator assured them as they stood to go. “We’ll be in touch if anything else comes up. Thank you again for coming down right away.”
Sakura smiled and shook the man’s hand. “Anytime, have a nice afternoon.”
Gaara nodded to him and motioned for Shinki to get up and join them. He placed a hand on his shoulder as he led him out of the office, always struck with how small he still was, at how much weight rested on the shoulders of this child just as it had on his own.
Once the door had shut and they walked down the hall, Shinki watched as the two ahead of them led him out of the building. They walked side by side, in line as equals, and Gaara reached out to take his wife’s hand. She was grinning when she held out her hand, a peculiar expression given the conversation they’d just come from as he had thought that he would’ve immediately been in trouble. He thought they would’ve scolded him in front of the administrator, or maybe tried to ground him – little good that would do for a kid with no social life as it was – but he had desperately hoped they wouldn’t pull him from the academy.
He was nervous, incredibly so, but didn’t want to be blindsided later, and meagerly asked, “Um…Am I in trouble?”
The two stopped and turned to face him, no anger or disappointment in their eyes, just patience and an expression he couldn’t quite place, though it always made him feel better to be looked at that way. Gaara leaned down to face him at eye level, though his eyes were always avoidant, and he always had that guarded expression across his young face either way. “We’ll need to discuss this at home, and it is important to work out disputes through conversation rather than force.”
Sakura was knelt at his side then, her hands clutching his and gazing into his eyes with such flowery brightness that Shinki grimaced as he felt his face get hot. He averted his eyes. “You’re not in trouble, sweetheart,” she said, squeezing his fingers in her grasp. “And I’m so proud of you for wanting to stand up for your brother.”
He met her gaze only for a moment before looking to his hands held gently in her own. She always had such a considerate touch and never used any force, even though he had seen firsthand how powerful those unassuming hands could be. “You are?” he asked after a moment, his brow pulled together over his eyes.
Sakura nodded. “Of course, but we need to set a good example for Riku, he’ll be looking up to you, you know?”
Shinki felt a sharp pang in his chest and the twitch of his face expressed it. Now, for the first time, he was realizing what it was that he’d done wrong. He’d made a wrongful choice on behalf of someone close to him and tried to justify it by using the transgression against them as his own. It wasn’t that he’d hit his classmate, or embarrassed him to tears, he could always apologize for that; it was because of the example he’d set for someone younger and more impressionable.
In the light of his mistakes, Shinki felt his lower lip wobble but refused to shed a tear. Though, it was always hard to keep that hardened shell around him when surrounded by such unexpected patience and unfamiliar warmth, almost as if he really did have a family of his own now. “Yes, ma’am,” he muttered, his voice trembling a little before he wiped his nose on his sleeve.
Sakura’s hands moved to his shoulders, keeping him squared in front of her as she smiled a little and asked, “What? What was that?”
Shinki sighed, exasperated that she didn’t know when to quit, and avoided both her and Gaara’s eager eyes as he repeated with a different choice of words, “Yes, Mom.”
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