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Everything hurt. They were in a hospital room from what they could tell, the steady drip of an iv into their bruised arm. Honestly. She wasen’t sure why breathing hurt so badly. All she knew was everything hurt. Every inch hurt.
She slowly cracked open her eyes, glancing over the hospital room. It diddin’t look like your typical one. Instead of a screen over her head explaining what she’d come down with or care instructions, it looked like a regular cork board. Though the room was dark thanks to the curtains being short. It smelled less sterile too, almost herblike actually. And She shakily lifted herself upright using all her strength when someone nocked on the door.
“Sensei?” asked a soft voice she’s pretty sure she recalls but at the moment her mind felt so fuzzy.
[scenario begin: episode one! Settle in settle in! Keep things interesting! Annnnd begin!]
She jumped in fright at the bright green screen that flooded her vision, what on earth!?
Oh. Oh shes in a vr game isint she- did she pass out?
She reached up to fuss with the headset but instead just buried her hand in soft fluffy hair… She began playing with it. It was puffy and wild and …wow thats fun to play with. But so short compared to what she was used to…
“Sensei?” suddenly the voice was much closer, She gasped in fright and pulled backwards, there was a face peering up at her pushed right through the green screen, though it vanished after a few moments leaving just this big eyed girl staring up at them. She couldnt be more than like, 13 or 12 right? It was hard to see her features in the darkness. Huh? Some kind of otaku came to visit her. Her heart sank, did someone post about it on tumblr? One of the fanfiction sites she posts to? Is this someone whos stalking her to try to …….she’s not sure- make her finish writing her story? A well-wisher? Surely she’s not that popular in fact, she’s pretty certain she has maybe one, two readers at best…
they are not good fanfictions. What can she say-
“Um. Why are you calling me sensei….” Her voice came out…deep? Soft? Rather pretty and why was it so familiar? Her head began pounding with pain every time she tried to speak and even more so when she began trying to think.
“Sensei…?” the girl’s face’s color just melted right off her poor round cheeks.
She wanted to pinch them a little, look how sad she looked! Like a hamster denied a sunflower seed.
“You…really aren’t well. What can you remember?” she asked quickly Eyebrow all scrunched up, she looked so worried…
“ugh. What do I remember…”She trailed off “…..I think I remember…”she thought as hard as she could, but the best she could recall was she was baking some cookies…
“…..I think I was making cookies, for my dad” She replied. Catching herself as another wave of dizzyness sent her laying back down into the bed. But thankfully, not off the bed and face first onto the floor.
“Your…dad? But Sensei…your dad..”She trailed off “he’s been dead for- for …I’m not even sure how long, from what you’ve mentioned…”
what? Her head shot up, nearly flopping out of the bed and reaching out trembling to grip her shoulder tears immediately filling her eyes. What happened?! Where was her dad? And what about mom? What about her sisters-
“how! How did he-“
“…it was…it…that you diddin’t tell us” she glanced away
“…I..this cant be ..happening…dad…”her voice cracked and she felt her world tip, crumpling back into the bed, The kind girl who she hardly knew- and since when was she a teacher anyways? Gently tucked her in and reached over to wipe the steady tears that poured down her cheeks.
“I’m so sorry sensei…”she murmured “ is …there anything I can do for you? Sasuke and Naruto have been waiting a while for you to wake up- I guess you…you probably don’t remember them either. But. You’re not alone okay?” she asked patting Her cheek, those names- wait a …wait what?
“Im not..alone? ..sasuke and naruto? …they wouldn’t happen to be-….?”
“…be what?” She asked, not catching the hint. “In the waiting room if thats what you’re asking, yes thats where they are. Are you okay?” She asked.
“Not even a little bit no but thank you for the concern…” She laid back into her bed and stared at the ceiling as more tears just kept flowing. What is she supposed to do…This was it. She was doomed. This was her punishment for all those crack fics, for all the shipping, for all the unfinished transmigration fanfictions. Oh! The cruelty of justice!
Sakura raised concerned eyebrows and tried to sooth her by patting her hand. Smiling a bit “well you’ll be okay soon…it’s going to be okay” she asssured her. And somehow. She kind of believed her.
Not long later Naruto and Sasuke arrived to the room, sakura having gone off to get the pair. Dragging them in they were surprised and upset to see their sensei crying. Sasuke just looked a bit troubled by it, but naruto began crying too
“Sensei! You were hurt so badly youre still crying…and its all our fault!” He burst into tears, flinging himself onto Kakashi’s chest, She coughed in pain and whimpered.
“Sensei I’m so sorry!…huh?..OH NO IT DIDDINT GO BACK TO NORMAL.” He wailed even worse sliding off the bed into a defeated heap on the floor. Sakura sighed in defeat, reaching down to pick up naruto who hung limp in her grip , in perhaps the most dramatic looking scene poor Kakashi had ever witnessed.
“What diddint-“
“we were training and Naruto tried a weird new jutsu he was working on, and while you were distracted and upset, because of-…” sasuke trailed off and suddenly avoided eye contact “we’ll youll figure it out in a minute. My shurikens- you know- with the exploding tags attached… distracted you, and sakura…” he trailed off
“punched you in the back of the head”
“…and I survived that? “ She sniffled “and what do you mean I’ll figure it ou-…”
She trailed off looking down at herself.
Oh. She’s got tits.
Aight that’s not so bad she had those before. Thank goodness, this actually massively reduces the amount of stress this is going to be. No body horror today frickers.
“…Nice, Upgrade.” She nods to herself. Kakashi made for a cooler woman than she ever did. “and I would..assume it’s not wearing off, is it?”
“It’s naruto do you …think he’s figured out a counter-jutsu yet?” Sasuke sighed.
“It’s fine, What man hasen’t wanted to be a woman at some point in his life. Why not.” Kakashi said, not that she’d admit SHE was already a woman. She’s just…going to play it cool, not look a gift horse in the mouth. She’s already adjusting to this new world, this new body, at least its one that makes sense. And looks rad. Man. She looks rad. Shes so buff- so tough. She wondered, if perhaps, she could throw a table now. The urge to throw something and test out her new body was only slightly weaker than her desire to get herself psychologically evaluated to make sure she’s not hallucinating wildly. She thought she’d said a pretty normal statement honestly. Shes sure guys kinda want to be girls right? Or at least, most have at least considered it.
However judging by the expressions her new students gave her- that just- well - was not a normal statement at all.
“Sensei…you’re really weird” sighed Sakura.
“Sakura please your sensei is recovering, don’t hurt her worse” Kakashi pleaded
“yeah if I was a lady I’d never be happy as one that ugly” Naruto huffed.
“You children, you first almost kill me on the outside then you kill me on the inside. Sensei is going back to sleep! Goodnight!” She huffed rolling back over in her bed and shutting her eyes, careful not to disrupt her Iv too much. Hmph. Mean. Mean mean mean. Terrible children. Horrible little rat children. She’s glad naruto grows up and gets such a stupid hairstyle. He deserves it. Mean.
“Naruto you shouldn’t call women ugly, even I know that.” Sasuke huffed in irritation. Though if a woman asked if she was ugly and he wasent in the mood to talk to her, he probably would just say yes. Because just cause you know better dosent mean you’re not an emo little recluse who would rather get into a fistfight than a pleasant conversation.
Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose “thats it okay we’re leaving let sensei rest!” she said, grabbing ahold of the two by the collar and hauling them out. Truth be told, she was trying extra hard to do well. Since it was her punch that did so much damage to poor sensei….Sensei has decided, she is his favorite child. Maybe in the anime she wasen’t her favorite character, but quite frankly, when youre faced with these people in real life, you just have to admit, shes the most normal well adjusted person there. To be fair, she is, by all accounts, well adjusted and normal. Typical girl her age. A lot easier to deal with than angst boy and kitsune clown. Not that she could really help feeling a bit protective over them. They’d looked quite sad and worried seeing her in such a state. She wants to pinch their mean little cheeks.
Meanwhile kakashi laid in bed waiting for the system to bring up another message. Laying there staring at the green.
[you’re welcome, do you have any idea the strings we had to pull just so you’d have a body you’re comfortable with?] The system sighed
“what are you even doing here. And..what am I doing here? I mean….I know transmigration fics. I died. Diddn’t I…” She frowned. Tears already threatening to well back up, but she swallowed them down.
Her emotions felt …too heavy for her to even carry, like she’d gone years without them only to suddenly have them all come crashing down on her. She knew she was a bit emotionally numb before- so why now- why in Kakashi’s body were they all flooding back?
Did dying just…reset that kind of thing? Or did she just really need to rest that badly…?
It felt kind of nice to cry. But Kakashi dosen’t seem to be the type to ugly cry and snort with tears and snot running down his face, he’s a pretty crier for a man who almost never cries. It probably dosen’t feel as bad as the disgusting mess she used to wind up as…
[yes you died, and yes your assumptions here are right. You’ll be okay, just settle into your new life, take it in. So first of all, why dont we look at your settings?] She blinked. Settings? She actually gets settings?…nice.
They shifted and turned into a settings screen. A number of options existed, such as for reading out loud what the system says, mental speak features….mods? Okay that sounded concerning but kind of cool at the same time. Color adjustments. Auto update, auto level up, skill trees. All if it was enough to make her head spin. She looked over it before turning on hints and tricks, a handy feature, autofighting, well that seemed useful- so she turned that on too. There was even a speedrunning timer!
That seemed like a terrible idea, speedrunning your transmigration life? No thanks.
Plenty of handy things! And yet-
Most of it just was intimidating.
Kakashi laid there for a bit, looking through some mods once he could.
He found some simple ones, gender correction for those who want their transmigrated body to match their real one, seems the system had done that one already. Huh theres a furry mod. Kakashi found that amusing enough, and bookmarked it though She figured that one might be useful in case she ever like, got bored. She always had been a bit of a dog person- fitting for Kakashi. Besides…she wanted to know…what would Zabuza look like as a furry-?
Man that would make that more bearable.
And Kisame- now he would be a funny one for sure. Gai?…so many different bizzare apperances. Would he….keep the bowl cut?
Kakashi imagined…a turtle with a bowl cut, burying her face in her hands as she burst into cackling tears as thanks to the very nature of an anime based world, she could truly see , like a little breif flash before her eyes, exactly that. All wrinkles and despite being a turtle, proud shiny teeth, a thumbs up, the bowl cut. Though no doubt, it startled her pretty badly at first. But people must be sort of used to it by now.
She looked back up at the screen.
Hm. Fourth wall mod, lets you see the fourth wall…she turned that on, glancing curiously over as a camera appeared, staring right at her, floating above, just at the right angle to show both the screen and Kakashi’s back.
She rolled over and reached up to poke at it. The camera shattered into peices, Kakashi yelped in shock Sinking back, waiting a few moments before it reshaped and reformed.
“…is that why they call it breaking the fourth wall?” she muttered. Rolling back over to face the screen.
That might be useful…
There were a few other mods, such as ‘chibi super deformed ‘ mode, which diddint seem very helpful. ‘The au mod!’ which boasted being able to change the world from anything from sci-fi to fantasy…
it was all way too much, and some of the mods were free, some were paid. Which was a tad irritating. Paid mods? Really? Is that legal?
In fact the only free ones had been the fourth wall mod and the gender one…
The others were, well, at least 100 GP. Including an Ai system chatbot, meant to make your system ‘friendlier and easier to interact with with non-copy-paste responses tailored to your needs, a friend in your brain!’ which diddint seem so bad. That was on the cheaper end, a mere 5 gp- why was it so little she wondered…?
“whats gp?” She asked. A tooltip appeared beside the god mode mod, which was 9999 GP
[Goal points are how you buy mods and ways to improve your game! By using these, you can unlock ways to better customize your experience, and make your life here a lot better!]
“Sweet, how do I gain Goal points?” she asked
[you can gain goal points by completing missions given by the system!]
“I see…and what’s my first mission?” She asked
[oh? Right. First mission…hold on, processing…] they trailed off and went to just being a spinning circle.
While it loaded, Kakashi looked over the mods a bit more.
Easy mode, hard mode, extra lives. Flight, Harem mode- oh come on- Horror movie mode- now why would any one want that? Randomizer?
She sighed. Some of these just seemed like a recepie for ruining reality. No free food mods? No free real estate?
What about a cheat code mod?!
But no, they were all absurdly expensive.
[mission decided! Build rapport with students!] they chirped.
“Sweet. Ah…how should I do that.” She asked [thats your problem-]
The screen blinked away and she sighed shutting her eyes.
Helpful.
It wasen’t long later that Gai barged in, flinging on the lights, Kakashi yelping and wincing, covering her one eye that’s actually covered.
“Whhhat?” She asked, sitting up slowly to squint at Gai.
“KAkashi!!!!” He began “Is there anything I can do to help your recover-“
He paused and stared at Her. Looking her up. Down. Up. Down. Left. Right. Left- up-
“You seem…different- but I just cant quite place why…” he scratched his chin.
“…I mean fair enough. You’ll figure it out. Could you please train my students while I’m recovering?” She asked “They need to stay fit…” She said.. Pretty sure the only way these kids are going to be trained half decently is if she puts them in the care of someone who will push them so far in just a week that they reach the same level they’d need to survive shippuden…
That seemed reasonable. Poor kids. But she had to do something. Everything seemed to be going fine, but suddenly Gai was inching closer, squinting at her, looking her over, left. Right. Up. Down, she began to sweat a bit.
“…Wait a second who are you” gai immediately scowled, looking at her in disgust and rage.
She tensed up “I -..what? What do you mean Gai it’s just ..just me. Kakashi-“
“Don’t you DARE lie to me. I know Kakashi..and whoever you are. You are NOT kakashi.” He gritted his teeth “you might be a lady but that dosen’t mean I wont kick your a-“
“SENSEI” Tenten rushed in “Lee and Neji are about to get into another fight can you PLEASE come deal with them-“ Not knowing she just saved poor Kakashi’s life.
Kakashi flopped back into the bed tears filling her eyes, she wiped one thinking to herself, thank you tenten, my hero, you’re the best naruto character ever, If I ever get to go home, I’ll by a wall scroll of you to display proudly in my room as thanks…I’ll even buy a figurine- one of the super expensive ones…
“Fine. But I’m watching you *not* kakashi” Gai trudged out squinting coldly at Kakashi as he left, taking a good few minutes to just point to his own eyes and back at Kakashi’s eye.
Tenten squinted in confusion before sighing. “Sorry Kakashi-sensei I don’t really know what’s gotten into him but…well you know how Gai-Sensei can be.”
“Don’t I know it…” Kakashi sighed shutting her eyes.
“Are you crying-?” She asked
“A little.”
“Huh..well good luck with that” said Tenten, a master of many weapons, not comforting others, waving awkwardly bye, Kakashi was still practically a stranger to her, just a stranger who regularly races her Sensei around the village. She had to focus on her team right now, not worry about…this guy crying a bit. He’d probably be fine. Unlike Lee and or Neji if they don’t sort themselves out. Last night they fought this hard Lee was trying to rope Neji into one of his weird little plays again.
Kakashi laid back, shutting her eyes. Exhausted.
This was all…way too much.
She turned on the system again watching its green light flicker on the screen
[you have lost -100 gai points!]
“You made that up right now diddint you” she frowned “whats a gai point?”
[a gai point is how much gai likes you]
“why is there a point count for that”
[error system does not have a message for clarifying on the usage of gai points]
“Of course youd say that” She rolled back over, shutting her eyes.
This was going to be a long. Long. Life.
But, Kakashi knew one thing.
She was going to make it a good one. She just had to…try her best.