I am not alone.
(5 years, 10 July)
The sun glared over the rooftops, shining into the eyes of anyone unwise enough to look up. It has been a week since the meeting in the forest. Naruto still felt off-kilter, her equilibrium disturbed, the feeling of acceptance lingering in her veins like a hug she didn’t know she needed. It messed with her head. A shot at a normal interaction with someone her age. It felt like a type of illusion that was messing with her senses. It didn’t help that Naruto felt as if someone was watching her. Every time she ventured into the village, she felt eyes on her back. It was an itch, fire ants crawling between her shoulder blades, and it was making her twitchy. The weird thing was it didn’t feel like the glares from the villagers. It didn’t feel malicious at all, it was so strange that it made Naruto even more paranoid. Taking a deep breath, she decided enough was enough. Quickly zipping around the corner, she ducked into the alley and hid behind the dumpster peeking around the edge to see who was following her. A minute passed, then another. Naruto was about to give it up as a bad job when the strange girl she had saved peeked around the corner. Seeing Naruto watching her Hinata released a startled “eep”. Her head burning red and her fingers pressing together.
Naruto felt off kilter, this is the last thing she had expected. She was unsure what to do, the lingering in her veins was starting to evaporate, this was starting to look similar to what happens when she starts talking to other children. Naruto swallowed the ball in her throat. And steeled her bruising heart. She had really thought that the girl was different, that maybe someone could like her. Pushing aside her hurt Naruto glared out at the girl. “What do you want?!” Naruto was angry at her and maybe herself but seeing her flinch at her words made her feel a bit guilty. Then she remembered that the girl was like the rest and her glare hardened.
Hinata was in a bit of a conundrum. She had been watching Naruto for a week hoping to learn more about the boy whose words had shattered all she believed about herself and her family. ‘Accepting fault for other’s actions and putting them on you is stupid! That’s like accepting the opinion of others as a truth!’ Those words spoken with a passion entirely foreign in her cold world had rearranged all she believed. It shook her prenotions on how the world worked, lit a fire in a heart that felt frozen and lost. She knew he probably didn’t even know how amazing what he said was, but to Hinata those words was a lifeline in the sea of blame she had been drowning in. Maybe, if the boy was right, it meant she wasn’t at fault, maybe being herself was enough, she didn’t need to keep apologising for her faults.‘Accepting fault for other’s actions and putting them on you is stupid! That’s like accepting the opinion of others as a truth!’ Hinata didn’t want to accept the blame for other’s actions, she didn’t want to accept other’s opinions as truth. If she did, it would mean that she really was useless and that her family was right about her. A part of Hinata still believed them but a small fire has started in the hollows of her veins, a small spark started by a boy with wildfire in his eyes and conviction in his words, and Hinata who is used to the cold emptiness of her life clung to the sensation, refusing to let the small bit of warmth disappear.
So, she started following the boy when he was in the village, a bit afraid to brave the woods alone. And what she saw astounded her. She thought he was brave and strong, that he must belong to an amazing family that taught him how to smile at life like a dare. But this boy as small as Hinata was an orphan. It confused her how he can be so strong on his own, surely someone taught him. But the more she watched the more her admiration grew. She didn’t know why but the villagers even the shinobi treated him horribly, and the worse they got the more he refused to bow to their expectations. Where she had broken under the pressure he evolved, like steel in a fire forged into iron. When she had seen him ducking into the alley, she was a bit confused, with her byakugan she knew he was still there, but she was still learning how to see through multi-layered objects, so after a few minutes she dared to go closer, curious to what he was doing. Only now staring at him while he was glaring at her with fire in his eyes, she didn’t know what to do. A part of her was afraid, not of him but of what he must think of her, the other part was mortified that he caught her essentially spying on him. Overall, it was a miracle that she hadn’t passed out and only her head is burning.
“I’m s..sorry” the girl mumbled quietly. The roaring in Naruto’s ears died down, her anger lowering to a simmer. “Ehh?” Naruto blurted out confused. This is not how these showdowns go. Usually, the name calling would have already started, she had expected the taunting the lording of her status in the village. It has never started with an apology.
Hinata seeing Naruto was no longer glaring gathered her courage and stepped closer, upon seeing the wary way that Naruto was regarding her with she stopped. “I am sorry” she said clearly this time, gathering the last of her nerve she blurted out “Iwanttobeyourfriend!”
Naruto was nonplussed “What?” The girl had spoken so quickly she couldn’t understand her at all. But she wasn’t hostile, so Naruto relaxed a bit. “I want to be your friend” Hinata breathed, breathless. It took all her courage to keep eye contact, to not look down in embarrassment. But this boy, who helped her even when no one helped him deserves her courage. And it was courage, it took all Hinata had not to flee before he could react, Her heart in her throat and a roar in her ears.
Naruto felt as if the floor was pulled from underneath her, that she was caught in an earthquake that only affected her. She felt like yelling WHAT at the top of her lungs, maybe that she should refuse, sure it was a prank, but as she opened her mouth to respond she looked into the eyes of the strange girl. All the breath rushed out of her lungs, leaving her feeling like she had swallowed wrong. Her eyes a weird pale lavender, was not mocking was not cruel. She did not look arrogant or entitled. Those eyes were sincere and vulnerable, hopeful, and scared. While plenty of people looked afraid of Naruto, they never looked at her like that. As if a word from Naruto could break everything she wants to believe. And Naruto was speechless. Never had anyone look at her with such hope, as if a word from Naruto can save everything she is. It left Naruto breathless in an entirely new way, a way that lightened her heart and her soul.
“Yes” Whispered Naruto, almost silently. She didn’t know why but this girl needed Naruto to be her friend, was scared to be rejected, and nobody has ever needed Naruto before, never looked at her with such fragile hope and tender courage. And Naruto wanted to be wanted, needed to be needed, and this girl was asking to be her friend something Naruto never had but desperately wanted, with an intensity that caught her of guard. “I would like to be your friend” she said a bit louder. But the smile that appeared at her words was like a sunrise after a storm, pure, beautiful, and so happy it left Naruto breathless in a way that she was sure was visible. Cause Naruto for the first time since she could remember had a friend, a friend that needed Naruto. And that meant that Naruto had someone, someone that wasn’t responsible for her, someone who wanted Naruto because she was Naruto. It was incredible. Naruto was not alone. And for that a smile, that was happy, pure, and content appeared just for Hinata, the girl who saved Naruto with a smile.