How Nariko Became Naruto part 2
(5 years, 21 December)
Nariko blearily glared at the sunlight stretching towards her. Yesterday’s memories kept repeating itself in her head, making sleep impossible. Reluctantly, Nariko crept out of her futon, her determination to succeed in her task her only motivator. She was more determined than ever to stop being a girl, and that meant getting help from the one person that even knew she was a girl. Jiji.
Nariko knew that a lot of her determination and fear stemmed from what she witnessed, could admit that changing her gender at least hiding her gender, might be an overreaction. But Nariko could not block out that little voice inside of her that kept fanning her fear. If it is so dangerous being a normal girl, how much more dangerous would it be for her, the demon girl, the one no one would miss, that no one would help. If someone hurt a little girl, others would step in to stop it. For her, they might just join in if they did not walk away.
And Nariko was scared, the face of the older girl kept flashing in her head, the terror in her expression, the hopelessness in her eyes. She had been convinced that her fate was inescapable, and her struggle had been out of hopelessness. If Nariko had not been there that would have been true. But there is no one that would step in for Nariko and so Nariko would have to protect herself. And Nariko could protect herself. Nariko had sworn that she would never just accept her fate, never stop fighting for her right to live. But even she had to admit that the man had been much larger than Nariko, much stronger. Had the ANBU not arrived then Nariko might not have been here to even remember it. And that scared her, that being a girl means someone could hurt her before she could become strong enough to protect herself.
It felt as if her organs had turned to stone, weighing her down with the inescapable truth. A sense of urgency clawed at Nariko urging her to hurry up, to save herself. Nariko took a deep breath. She knew it was just the fear clawing at her, that no one even knew she was a girl. But it was difficult to banish the images in her mind. Escaping the dreams where she was in the girl’s place and that everyone who passed by just stopped to laugh. Nariko glared at herself irritated at her vulnerability. So, what if they would laugh, so what if no one will help. She was going to help herself! She was Nariko Uzumaki, and she was no one’s victim, Believe it!
Walking down the streets in Konoha has never been as daunting as it was that morning. Nariko kept having to stop herself from flinching every time someone came near her. She felt like jumping out of her skin and was hyper-aware of every glare that came her way. Feeling like a bug under a microscope Nariko tried going unnoticed. But even shrinking into herself didn’t help, it felt as if it provoked the glares into getting worse. Nariko could feel the tension in her shoulders, could feel the muscles straining as she hunched into herself wishing she could be invisible. She caught a glimpse of the blurry outlines of a ninja jumping over the rooftops and wished she was able to use that method. Nobody was even looking at them; they were so fast they blurred.
Nariko clenched her jaw. It couldn’t be so hard to go unnoticed. Nariko squared her shoulders and focused on her surroundings. What can I use to go unnoticed? She eyed a few pieces of washing that could work as a disguise, but then there was the risk that someone might notice her taking them and having to run from a mob chasing her for stealing the clothes was the last thing she wanted. So instead, Nariko tried to stick to the shadows of the alleys and the buildings. It was an exercise in frustration. She tried blending into the shadows, and it appeared to be working but then someone would catch a view of her, and the mutterings would begin. It got to the point that the villagers would chase her from the front of their buildings, accusing her of trying to sabotage their stores.
Nariko could feel their anger, and it caused a bitter taste to linger in her mouth. She felt hot and cold at the same time as she walked down the street, staring resolutely forward to not give them the satisfaction of seeing her affected. Her stomach churned fiercely, and it felt like at any moment she could start spitting flames as a warm acidy feeling pushed up her chest, pushing aside her lungs and making her chest feel heavy. Nariko swallowed down the feeling. She could not let them affect her. Breathing into heavy lungs she ignored her surroundings and just breathed. She could do it. It doesn’t have to be today, but one day Nariko was going to be good enough to go unnoticed, where nobody would know she’s there unless she wills it. With her feelings resolved and her goal set Nariko started paying attention to her surroundings again. She stopped short. The buildings around her looked familiar. And not in I see this everyday familiar, more in the I have walked past here twice familiar. Nariko tried to remember the way to the Hokage tower but came up blank.
Nariko could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she remembered she has never been to the Hokage tower and therefore didn’t know how to get there. She was pretty sure her head was on fire as even her ears felt warm. She was never going to mention this to anybody, ever. Embarrassed Nariko determinedly ignored her blunder and hurriedly made her way to Ichiraku Ramen, Old Man Teuchi probably knew the way.
The Hokage tower was a big looming building that was taller than all the buildings in Konoha. It towered over Nariko as she stood at the entrance. It was a fairly busy place; Ninjas were everywhere going in and out. Nariko has never actually seen so many ninjas before, she was a bit intimidated. She swallowed down her nerves and steeled her spine. ‘I can do this!’ she vowed.
Ten minutes later Nariko was standing exactly where she started. The building guard didn’t even let her start talking before he kicked her out, and no matter how many times she tried she always ended up here. Glaring at the building in front of her Nariko sat on the floor. If she wasn’t allowed in to see Jiji then she would sit here and wait for him to come out.
Meanwhile, the Sandaime Hokage was feeling his age. ‘I’m too old for this’ He frowned as he looked at the building in front of him. This was the fifth building he has visited and so far, as soon as his request was heard he could see the excuses pile up. Putting on a smile he wasn’t feeling he knocked on the apartment manager’s door. The door opened to show a heavily scowling man opening his mouth likely to shout at whoever was knocking. When he registered who was in front of him, he immediately dropped into a bow. “Hokage-sama” he stammered out. “Good evening” the Sandaime greeted.
Hiruzen Sarutobi walked to the Hokage tower ready to finish his work for the day. He was tired in a way that was all too common these days, especially when concerning his late successors' daughter. It weighed heavily on his mind how this village was treating little Nariko and hoped he had at least solved one of her problems.
‘I’m tired’ thought the man known as the god of shinobi. He has been working too hard, he was sure he had just imagined seeing Nariko. No, he had just seen Nariko. Nariko was, in fact, sitting cross-legged in front of the Hokage tower ignoring the activity around her. ‘What did they do now?’ wondered the Professor as he came to a stop next to Nariko. “Are we waiting for someone?” he asked looking at the door askance. “Jiji!” Nariko cheered, she jumped up and hugged him uncaring for the looks she is getting. “You took a really long time to come out you know” She pouted in indignation. He looked closely at her, and seeing how stiff her movement is, he knew she must have been sitting there awhile. Frustration bubbled up before the Hokage ruthlessly suppressed it. While it might relieve his anger to allow a bit of killing intent to leek in the direction of the building, he didn’t want Nariko to think he is mad at her. Instead, he smiled down at her letting his affection towards her show. “Is that so?” He said mildly. “Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?”
Nariko was so relieved when Jiji showed up she almost forgot what she wanted to ask him. “Um, Jiji?” Nariko hesitantly began “Is there somewhere we can talk? You know... Private?” Nariko could feel her ears burning again. Her stomach felt fluttery, and she was kind of nauseous. The Hokage looked at her and Nariko nervously wondered what he was seeing. “I might know a place” He smiled gently at her, and Nariko felt her nerves disappear. This was Jiji if there is one person, she knew she could trust it would be the Hokage. For whatever caused people to hate her, Jiji never had. For that reason alone, she would love him, but he had never misused her love as others would have and therefor Nariko trusted him with her life. She would trust him now with her plans.
The Sandaime led Nariko to an apartment building on the outskirts of town. Nariko looked at him in question, but he just smiled at her and lead her to the lone apartment on the top floor. Nariko was ready to start questioning him when the Hokage opened the door with a key and led her inside.
Inside there was a small kitchen area and a living room dining room combo. Through the door on the side, she could see a bed, so that was probably the bedroom.
“Jiji?” Nariko questioned finally, no longer being able to maintain her silence. “Yes?” The Hokage looked at her in question, as if he had not just led her to a random apartment that she has never seen before. About to ask where they were Nariko paused before opening her mouth. As curious as she was, she had a more pressing matter. “Jiji, I need to be a boy.” The venerable elder blinked slowly, opened his mouth and closed it again. “A Boy?” he asked slowly as if turning the words over in his mind. Nariko started feeling the flutters again so before she lost her courage, she recounted what had happened last night. As her story progressed the Sandaime face became grimmer and serious.” … and I don’t think they would help me if I need it, so I want to be a boy so that nobody gets the chance.” For the second time today the Hokage acutely felt his age. There are things even a Hokage can’t prevent, and crime is one of them. And while crime rates in a hidden village are much lower than elsewhere, these things still can happen. It saddened the man to know the little girl in front of him had witnessed such a heinous attempt. And worse still was her conclusions. A part of him rebelled fiercely at the notion that any human being would allow such attack to happen, the part that believed in people, the part that believed Minato when he said she would be seen as a hero. Sadly, that part was smothered by the knowledge that Minato’s faith was misplaced. The part that had seen the depth of cruelty the village dealt towards Nariko, and he couldn’t refute her claims as much as he wished to. So as much as it grieved him to hide a part of the girl he saw as a granddaughter, he sat down and helped her plan.
That night saw Nariko tossing on her bed. Yes, a bed. Nariko could hardly believe it. Jiji agreed with her and helped her plan, and then as she got ready to leave Jiji gave her the key and said it was hers now. Hers! As in a place where no one could lock her out of. No more running from drunken mobs because she would be safe in her bed. In her own apartment.
But the real treasure, the thing that made it priceless, was a small seal Jiji showed her that was carved next to the door. A seal that would prevent anyone not keyed in from entering. Nariko has never felt as safe as she did at that moment. She was still basking in the feeling hours later. No, the reason for her tossing had nothing to do with fear as it did the night before. No, it was the quiet that got to her. Even as far removed from the others as she was in the orphanage the noise was always present, and as much as she was despised, the noise created an illusion that she wasn’t alone
But here in this new apartment, there was no noise. No illusion. And as nice as being safe felt, it didn’t hide the fact that she was all alone. Nariko stared up at her nice white ceiling. She was fine. She didn’t care that she was alone. So, what if the others…
But lying there staring at the ceiling with no one around, all alone, she couldn’t lie to herself. It wasn’t fine. It hurt. A lot. And she did care, in fact, she cared so much that it felt as if the gap in her heart was a physical wound. And it has never been okay that the others had what she craved so desperately. Lying awake, still staring at her new ceiling, Nariko wondered what it would be like. To have others to hug and laugh with, someone to tease and play with. Someone who would care if she got hurt. And she wished it with her whole being, she burned with the desire so hotly she wondered if she would turn to ash. ‘I will have that’ Nariko vowed. Her throat felt thick and her head heavy, but her heartbeat was steady. She was Nariko Uzumaki and someday she will be loved, Believe it!