Chapter 1
"Hound? What does he want?"
An Anbu Operative materialized in the doorway and lowered his porcelain mask, but his stoic face remained half covered from the nose down. The gesture signified that he was here on his own terms for a private matter. He side-stepped the sentinel who announced his arrival and stood the proper distance away. His arms hung by his sides at ease, his posture confident but deferred. "I have a personal request, Lord Third."
"So I see," the Hokage grumbled around his pipe. "Alright then, Hatake. What is it?"
The young shinobi bowed his head respectfully and pressed on. "I wish to meet Minato-sensei's child, sir."
Sarutobi waved a wrinkled hand dismissively, as if this were a waste of his time. "Out of the question," he answered. "You have no business with an infant."
"I'm aware I have nothing to offer my master's offspring," Kakashi conceded, humbly spreading his hands. "I only wish to see the child once; to verify for myself that Minato-sensei's line cont-"
"Him."
"My Lord?"
Hiruzen frowned up at him regretfully, cradling his pipe with a gnarled hand. "The child is a boy."
Kakashi's white brows nearly touched his white hairline. A boy. Minato-sensei had fathered a son. All he knew was that his former teacher - and his wife - had perished, and their child survived them.
The Shinobi Code demanded that he rein in his emotions. He tried to recover, to appear neutral about this new information, but this somehow threw him off balance. Surely the Hokage saw right through his farce: it affected him deeply.
The old man's penetrating glare pinned him in place, his expression going stormy before deciding, "No. A newborn cannot give you the closure you seek."
Kakashi's eyes narrowed. He wanted to retort that he had been robbed of all chances to properly mourn the tragic events in his short life, time and time again. Past pains and raw sentiments clawed up his throat, obstructing his voice, but he forced the words out around them: "I need to know his death was not in vain."
"The Fourth Hokage saved this village." The elder man punctuated those last three words for emphasis, then paused for a puff from his pipe. "His death was not in vain."
"Forgive me, my Lord," Kakashi tried to save face, to legitimize his claim, "but I had no opportunity to say goodbye, not even to see the bod-"
"There was nothing left to bury," the Hokage growled, smoke curling from his lips as he spoke.
Kakashi flinched at the insensitive remark, but stood his ground. It seemed like a stalemate, both men clinging to their anger equally, lest they allow their grief to rear its ugly head. The young shinobi realized his opportunity was slipping through his fingers, the control on his emotions unraveling. "Please, sir," he appealed again, willing his voice not to crack. "I shall keep my distance. I shall never ask again."
"You should not be asking at all," the older man declared, turning away his face.
It was a clear dismissal. The Lord Third had denied him three times. Kakashi felt his blood begin to boil at his request being so blatantly disregarded. The smart move would be to accept defeat and retreat before inciting consequences, but the White Fang's son just could not let it lie. At the risk of being insubordinate, he tried once more.
"I have only ever served this village faithfully," Kakashi smoldered. "I have never asked for anything. Can I not be granted this small request?"
"You are too close to this situation," Hiruzen rumbled dangerously.
"He was like a father to me!" The words burst from Kakashi before he could control himself.
The older man speared the younger mercilessly with his sharp gaze. "Then it would seem both of your fathers failed you."
Appalled, Kakashi bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. All the breath left him as though he'd been punched in the gut. Before he could disgrace himself further, Sarutobi's eyes snapped to another bright presence that entered the room behind him. He didn't need to turn to see who it was; the boisterous chakra and sarcastic voice was unmistakable.
"Now, now, old man. Isn't that rather harsh?"
"I don't recall summoning you," the Hokage shot back testily.
One of the Legendary Sannin strode purposefully past Kakashi, who stood rooted to his spot in a stupor. Cocking a hip against the desk and resting his bulk against it as though he owned the place, Jiraiya folded his arms and sighed dramatically. "Hmm, perhaps you're growing senile in your advanced years, Master."
Kakashi tried not to gape, but if he did, at least the Sandaime could not see it.
"Get out of my office," Hiruzen demanded of his old pupil, cutting a hand impatiently through the smog he produced. "Unless you've finally come to assume it yourself."
Jiraiya had the audacity to smile, as if he found something highly amusing. "Still feeling bitter about that, are we?" He shrugged noncommittally. "Well, you of all people should know that I'm not really suited to it, Sensei."
Kakashi's dark eyes flickered between the two imposing figures, and he balked at the casual disrespect between such elite shinobi. He wondered if he could vacate the premises while he still had his head on his shoulders.
As expected, Sarutobi's temper flared. "Leave us!" he shouted, slamming an open palm on the desk, and at the outburst, two uniformed Anbu guards appeared at the doorway, their weapons drawn. They hesitated to enter only when they saw the Hokage was in the company of a Leaf Anbu and his own former student. The Toad Sage raised a placating hand toward the sentries before things could get out of hand.
"Look, I actually do have a good reason for being here," Jiraiya attempted to mollify mood in the room.
Hiruzen cast his eyes to heaven. "You have no reason to be here, you meddlesome-"
"Well, that's where you're wrong," the Sage apprised. Lifting a finger as though he were finally on the verge of his point, he dug around in the pocket of his tunic. Kakashi began to sense this haphazard intrusion would benefit him, but was wary of the cost.
"This matter is none of your concern," the Lord muttered between clenched teeth.
"As the child's Godfather, it is my concern."
Jiraiya let the words hang in the air, thick as the vapors from the Hokage's tobacco. Then he produced a small scroll, whisking it open across the top of the bureau. His signature was scrawled across the document proudly in bold ink. "It is fortunate that Minato and Kushina desired to make it official."
The Lord Third scowled down at the parchment as though it contained a grotesque insect he wanted to squash. Jiraiya jabbed his finger on a neat line of kanji, his face going uncharacteristically solemn. "Let him see the boy, Sensei. It's unlike you to be so hard-hearted."
The Hokage cut his eyes to his old student, calculating. "When did you intend to tell me this?"
"I'm telling you now."
The Sandaime plucked at one corner of the scroll like one would touch something tainted and vile. "Emergency custody is not the same as a legally binding guardianship," he muttered, eyes scanning the document.
"But it is legal," the Sage countered.
Kakashi went rigid when Konoha's Head appraised him again with his shrewd eyes, re-assessing how much this fight was worth winning.
Jiraiya tipped his head casually. "We can debate the legal technicalities with the Elders, if you want," he challenged, then pointed to a pair of names printed tightly side by side. "But you cannot deny it was their wish."
Kakashi swallowed, able to recognize his late sensei's hand. It matched the inscriptions on the handles of his Hiraishin kunai, one of which was secretly stowed away in his dresser drawer.
Evidently this point was enough to sway Hiruzen. He pinched his nose and waved them away. "Do what you want, then," he surrendered, "I have several other matters to attend to."
The Sage wasted no time. Shifting his weight back to his sandalled feet and re-rolling the scroll, Jiraiya goaded his master one more time. "I knew you would see reason," he said cheerfully, then clomped toward the doorway, waving the cylinder victoriously to his fellow white-haired shinobi. "Come on!" he exclaimed heartily. "We have a baby to go see!"
Kakashi followed the Sage to an unremarkable building, cloistered within a non-descript, residential area of the village. He assumed the secrecy of the bland structure was vital to the safe-keeping of the youngest and most vulnerable members of Konoha. Along the way, Jiraiya explained that he had only been here to see the baby once since Minato's passing. It had only been a handful of days, but fresh sorrow gripped at Kakashi's heart, both for himself and the child he had yet to meet.
At the door, the pair were greeted by an ancient woman wearing a sour-smelling apron. She initially tried to turn Jiraiya away, not familiar with him yet. It was plain that men generally did not belong there unless they were a doctor or expectant father, which they were neither. However, once Jiraiya spoke the name 'Uzumaki', the woman's eyes turned fond, and she smiled crookedly at them.
"Well, come in, come in!" she directed, sweeping them into the shade of the sparse little genkan. She bade them to quickly exchange their shoes, anxious to shepherd them inside and show off her littlest charge. "He's such a good baby," she gushed while they traded footwear. "Hardly ever makes a fuss!"
The woman led them up a few steps and through the main hall, smoothing wisps of gray hair back into her bun as she hobbled along. The young shinobi pursued in her wake sheepishly, mindful that he was sorely out of place among all the women hauling loads of laundry and buckets of water. He thrust his hands into his pockets and kept his eyes on the floor, unlike his companion, who allowed his eyes to wander inappropriately.
A strange sound pricked at Kakashi's ears, and he turned his head toward a nearby corridor as they passed. Something about the sound seemed wrong, and without giving it any thought, he reflexively sniffed the air. His keen nose wrinkled, detecting the faint scent of blood, and a haunting moan reached his ears again; it was a woman in labor. His heart abruptly plummeted into his stomach when he realized it. Eyes going wide, he sought Jiraiya, who only bared his teeth back at him in an unnerved expression. He had heard it, too.
Another freakish howl of pain sounded, louder this time, and Kakashi froze in his tracks. Fear nipped at the nape of his neck. Cold sweat broke out on his face, and his heart pounded in his ears.
Someone had reported to him less than a week ago that Kushina died in childbirth. Was that how she sounded, in the throes of agony, as she brought her child into this world, simultaneously departing it? His stomach turned instantly, and he thought he might be sick...
Jiraiya shoved him from behind, startling him out of his panic. "Just keep going," the Sage hissed, hooking an arm around his shoulders to drag him along. He stumbled forward again, tripping over his own feet to keep pace with the taller man. He realized, belatedly, that they were being lead away from the horrific sounds of the delivery wing.
Apparently, their guide was still gabbing, oblivious to his moment of crippling hysteria. "He sleeps every two hours, like clockwork!" she praised proudly, "And he's gaining weight like a champion!"
Kakashi shuddered, trying to shake the image of Minato's beloved wife bleeding out after giving life. This was a mistake, he thought, coming here. He briefly considered turning tail and bolting. Here he was, a highly trained warrior, completely incapacitated by the terrors of the maternity ward.
But Jiraiya had a firm hold on him. He towed him along, unwilling to let him abandon his mission, to let their conflict with the Hokage be for naught. The disturbing sounds and smells grew faint, and Kakashi found himself able to breathe easier as they fled to the peaceful warmth of the nursery.
Kakashi was disheartened to discover that there were a number of orphaned children in this wing of the nursing unit. He supposed he should feel grateful that Minato's son was not alone, but it brought to light the sad truth that this was the state of their world: Shinobi often died, and many times, left their little ones behind to grow up and suffer the same fate. It was a cruel cycle.
He was instructed to sit in a winged chair with pillowed arms. A young woman came by and draped a blanket over his shoulder, requesting he wait while they fetched the infant for him. Kakashi tried to assert that he didn't want to hold the baby, only to see him, but the older nurse shook her head and tutted before she disappeared, "Babies aren't made just to look at, silly boy!"
The Sage settled himself comfortably in a straight-backed rocker opposite him. He crossed his arms and glided to and fro, grinning impishly at him. Kakashi glowered back, anticipating some sort of insult, but all Jiraiya said was, "I'm happy you get to meet him."
Kakashi blushed, his assumptions notwithstanding, then asked, "Did you hold him, too, then?"
Jiraiya nodded serenely, closing his eyes. "He's perfect. You'll see."
With nothing else to do, Kakashi examined the room around them. All the lights were turned down low, and the curtains in the single window were drawn. The calming scent of lavender permeated the air. The furnishings were worn and well-used. Jiraiya's chair creaked each time it moved back and forth, which made for an oddly soothing sensation. The chair he sat in himself was absurdly overstuffed. He dug an elbow into the padded arm experimentally, then dropped his head back against the plush headrest.
"This feels softer than my bed," he commented, all at once feeling overwhelmingly tired.
Winking open one eye, Jiraiya grunted. "Their jobs are harder than ours, in a lot of ways," he said softly, referring to the nurses. "I imagine they have to sleep in that chair more often than not."
Unceremoniously, the old woman shuffled into the room with a minuscule bundle, wrapped in the crook of one arm. Kakashi lifted his head and made to stand, but she flapped her free hand, indicating he should stay put. "This is Naruto," she cooed, pressing close into his personal space and presenting her precious burden.
Naruto. His name was Naruto.
Kakashi stared, entranced by the thread-like hair, wondering at how something could be so fine and so golden. The hair of Naruto's head and eyebrows practically glowed in the soft light of the room. Kakashi followed the shape of his brow down to the two endearing little crescents where Naruto's eyes lay closed, fringed with the tiniest yellow lashes fathomable. These lashes brushed against the plump curve of pale, pink cheeks marked by faint little whiskers. Naruto slept blissfully, the rise and fall of his small chest the only indicator that something this flawless could truly be alive.
This miracle was absolutely Minato's son. There was no mistaking the uncanny resemblance.
Jiraiya peered around the woman's shoulder, a knowing smile stretched wide across his face when he said, "I cried, too."
Kakashi swiped a hand across his face, surprised to find tears streaming into his mask.
"Ah, don't worry, babies make everyone soft," The Toad Sage scoffed, but Kakashi found he didn't care.
"Here, take him," the old nurse encouraged, nudging closer.
Kakashi spluttered in dismay, intending to refuse. "Ah- I-I'm afraid to drop him."
"I know you think you will, but you won't," she guaranteed. She shifted the little bundle into his arms, and demonstrated how to support the head. After adjusting his elbow to lean into the armrest, she straightened and gave a satisfactory nod.
Just like that, the warm little mass of his sensei's child was in his arms. He was impossibly small, unbelievably light, incredibly bright. He smelled like fresh muslin and the tang of milk. The movement from the transfer caused the baby to stir, and while Kakashi soaked in his scents and features, Naruto unveiled the windows of his soul.
The pair of blue orbs blinked open slowly, unfocused and sleepy at the outset. Kakashi was instantly awestruck. The eyes closed again briefly, like a tease, and the puckered mouth formed a pout, but Naruto did not cry. He squirmed slightly in his swaddling cloth and then fluttered his eyes open again. Kakashi's breath left him in a rush; he was fully enraptured by them, and he had the bizarre sensation that they had traded places. Naruto gazed upon him, secured him with his warmth, and tethered him to place.
Jiraiya's hand settled heavily on his shoulder. He discovered he was trembling.
"It's... like..." Kakashi whispered.
"I know. It's okay," the Sage told him gently, because Kakashi never had been given permission to fall apart, especially while holding a baby.
It was like seeing him again.
Sensei.
A whimper escaped him, though he tried to stifle it, and a flood of tears followed. He wept uncontrollably, his hand coming to his face to divert the tears, but he couldn't take his eyes away from the child's. Kakashi tried to minimize the shakes, lest he jostle the baby. He peeled down his damp mask and dabbed at his face with the blanket on his shoulders, wary of shedding his sorrow on the infant in his care.
Rather than being held, Naruto was holding him. The child drew him in deeper with his blank stare. An inquisitive gurgle breached the tiny mouth, causing Kakashi to convulse with something between a sob and a giggle. The baby's mouth twisted with interest - too young to smile, but still able to be expressive. Kakashi sniffed hard, glancing up to see if Jiraiya had witnessed it, only to discover he was alone. The Sage and the old woman had tactfully taken their leave.
Kakashi heaved a clearing breath and fixed his regard back to Naruto. The newborn appeared to be growing restless. He stretched, and one miniature arm escaped from the tight folds of his swaddle, revealing the smallest fingers Kakashi had ever seen. Before he knew what he was doing, Kakashi had stroked the little hand with one inquisitive finger. Staggered by the softness of the baby's skin, he then smoothed two fingertips over the baby's cheek. He had never known anything softer.
He couldn't resist knowing more. With tender touches, he traced the bridge of Naruto's nose and smoothed one eye brow. The baby was squirming more actively now, responding to the contact, and perhaps a little piqued by all the physical attention.
Blinking away more tears, Kakashi brushed four fingertips over the rounded crown of Naruto's head. The silky strands of his hair were so thin that the pink scalp showed through in places. Finding his voice again, Kakashi decided to speak what came to his mind, stroking the child with the lightest of caresses.
"I'm so sorry, Naruto," he told him in a subdued tone. "It's unfair you didn't get to meet your parents."
The baby burbled again, his free hand batting about randomly, flexing his fingers.
"But you're not alone," Kakashi continued, wiggling his thumb into the infant's grasp. "We are like brothers, you and I."
Naruto's mouth opened and closed like a fish while he floundered.
"I won't let any harm come to you," the young shinobi vowed, "I'll protect you with my life. And hopefully, one day, I'll get to tell you everything about your mother and your father. They were very special to me."
He bowed his head and planted a careful kiss to the space between Naruto's eyes. It felt like the most natural gesture in the world, and he wondered if he were the first lucky soul to experience it.
"And now you are very special to me."
It wasn't long before the old woman reappeared with a warmed bottle of milk. She explained that Naruto was so active because he was hungry. She gave Kakashi the bottle and the privilege of being able to feed him. He laughed when Naruto fastened on the nipple and nursed as noisily as a suckling pig.
While Naruto greedily filled his belly, Kakashi admired him with all the fondness of a new parent. When it was time to burp him, Kakashi was frantic at first, but the old nurse helped position Naruto with deft hands. Kakashi's breath caught at every new and special detail this revealed: the curl of his hair at the nape of his smooth neck, the helpless slump of warm weight against his chest, every precious little squeak, squawk, or whine.
"You will be an excellent father, one day," the woman affirmed, and Kakashi went red in the face.
If time were passing, Kakashi was oblivious to it. Naruto was changed, re-swaddled, and back in the crook of his elbow for more snuggles and adoration. The kind woman tucked a small object into his hand with one parting word of advice, "This might help him sleep." Then she was gone again.
Kakashi eyed it curiously. An orange, silicone pacifier. For now, Naruto appeared content, so he set it aside. The little mouth stretched wide into a yawn, prompting the bigger mouth to do the same. Their eyes locked again, brother helping brother drift into tranquil sleep.
Then Jiraiya was at his side, prodding him awake. Kakashi's neck and shoulder screamed in protest of the angle they were forced to keep while maintaining protective hold of the child in his arms. He groaned as he lifted his heavy head, the white hair standing in tufts on one side. Jiraiya smirked at him.
"I see you got well acquainted," he whispered, eyes dropping to the slumbering baby.
Kakashi couldn't feel his arm, numb with the slack weight of the newborn sleeping on it. A nerve in his neck pinched with pain. He felt disoriented, depleted, and hungry. How long had it been?
"It's late," Jiraiya told him, frowning as if he didn't want to acknowledge it.
The nameless old woman stood just behind him, watching patiently.
It was time for them to go, then.
Kakashi resigned himself to this with a nod, and the kind lady tip-toed forward, hinging over to scoop Naruto out of his arms. At the disturbance, the baby's face crumpled, and as she settled him into her hold, Naruto punched out a series of little snivels in protest. The woman bounced gently to soothe him, but there came a horrible moment where he seemed to have stopped breathing. Before the adults in the room could panic, Naruto filled his lungs with a vengeful inhale to belt out a wail of consternation.
The pitiful sound of his cry pained Kakashi into action. He seized the pacifier from the side table and eased it between Naruto's gums, who readily accepted the comfort, snorting as he sucked. Gradually the crease between his eyebrows flattened, and before he could slip back into sleep, the nurse bowed her hasty farewell and took flight, intent on getting the affronted baby to his crib.
Jiraiya gave a chuckle and slapped Kakashi on the back, who felt gratified in a way he had never known.