Strength

Chapter one : Thoughts, feelings and words.

“Nii-nii! ” A red-haired smiled at Sakura. Embracing her proudly. Before looking at the camera. “Sa-chan! You can do it, you’re special. I'm so proud of you! ” Sakura smiled, she loved those memories. It was a time without worries, without loneliness and most of all it was a time of her life being complete. It was the day a photo was taken of her and her brother. He encouraged her after she just graduated from the academy, after she heard that she was a part of team 7 and her life took a 180-turn. 

She stared at her empty bowl of ramen and gave a side eye to Ino who dragged her ass towards Ichiraku ramen, cursing at her. Ranting endlessly about Sakura being on the verge of becoming a hermit. She sighed. 

Sakura was having lunch with Ino, who was having her usual rant about her dates and Shika being an ass on her most recent mission and her hermit-to-be status. She zoned out straight away. Sakura loved her best frenemy to death but her level of interest in boys at the moment? Below zero, it was like stepping a foot in the arctic. Stone cold, silent, just nothing. And the rest.. likewise. 

“Pig, have you spoken about your additional medical training yet with Tsunade-shishou?” 

If she was hearing about this for one more minute, she was sure her braincells would start to disintegrate into nothingness slowly but surely if she had to hear one more word about her one-night escapades.. 

“Forehead, please I just walked through the village gates and saw your sorry ass walking towards the archives..AGAIN. So, don’t even try to change the subject miss.” Pointing a finger at Sakura. “When are YOU going to come out of your anti-social bubble again? You’ve been in the hospital when you aren’t training with Tsunade and other nins.” 

“I am out and about socializing... I am here now aren’t I?” Sakura countered. 

Even though Naruto used to drag her to Ichiraku Ramen on a daily basis, here she was. Call it being nostalgic, but since both her teammates practically left her in Konohagakure and Kakashi being MIA as well, she was feeling lonely and she missed them dearly. It took her quite a while coming to terms being left behind and getting used to being seen as the “weakest one” by others. It was true to a certain extent. She was weak in comparison to them, having no kekkai genkai like the Uchiha’s, Hyuuga’s. After she and Naruto tried to retrieve Sasuke, she knew she had a lot of catching up to do and requested Tsunade to take her as her apprentice. She’d train every day and when she wasn’t at the training ground, she was found in the archives. Shino at one point dared to use her being “weak” as a reasoning to explain to her why they had left and her not being worth it. She punched him and set a new record, showing her training paid off as well. Even Neji didn’t dare to say this, he saw her worth, her talent in genjutsu, her intelligence and praised her for it. She was one of the strongest kunoichi of the rookie nine, she proved it during the chuunin exam. But there he went. Sakura sighed and Ino looked at her. 

“Sakura..why don’t you take a couple days off. You’ve been training non stop besides your training with Tsunade, you’ve also been training your genjutsu and how you even have the energy to dive into those medical scrolls. When do you sleep?! One of these days you’re going to wake up and look like an 80-year old.. You’re a Jounin already and on par with if not surpassed Tsunade already.” Ino took a sip from her tea, camomille always did the trick after stressful days. She just got back from a 5-day mission together with Shikamaru and Chouji. They were walking towards the hokage tower and came across Sakura walking like an empty shell through the streets. Ino excused herself, noticing that Sakura looked distraught and caught up to drag Sakura with her. It led to her and Sakura grabbing lunch at the restaurant. Sakura needed this, that girl was always keeping everything to herself. Ino couldn’t stand it and decided to be the person for Sakura to talk to, obviously she didn’t have anyone anymore. “Besides, I can’t imagine how you must feel. I know you’ve liked Sasuke since we were in the academy. But I think you need to hear this forehead. I care for you, you’re my best friend, but it’s been over 3.5 years. Isn’t it time to move on? And that guy doesn’t deserve you to be honest. You’re too good for him”. Sakura looked at her bowl of ramen. “Ino, I’m over it. Over him. I don’t know why it bothers me to this day. I have a feeling that there’s something more to it, just like the gap in my memory… I’ve been brooding lately and it’s giving me a headache.” Ino felt sorry for Sakura. “Give it time Saki-chan. Maybe the answer will come.” 

After Sasuke left to join Orochimaru, followed by Naruto leaving with Jiraiya. That idiot pervy Kakashi-sensei was nowhere to be found. Drowning himself in missions it seemed, according to the others. All alone left behind by her team...It looked like fate decided to give the girl a hard time with her mother and father both passing away shortly afterwards. She broke, Tsunade had asked Ino to keep an eye on her if she could. This led to her, Hinata,Tenten and Sakura having a girls night whenever they could with Temari joining in as well when she was in town. The five of them tried to meet up whenever they could. Sakura broke down during one of these nights. She cried and cried. Voiced her pain and agony. Ino’s heart clenched, remembering this night. The girls wanted to kill those guys. They didn’t know what Sakura went through and how wrong they were about Sakura not losing anyone. Sakura had an older brother, Aki. Shortly after becoming a genin, after the mission to the land of the Waves after almost losing Sasuke to Zabuza and Haku. Sakura lost him. He died, in her arms. They didn’t know, since Sakura never told them. She didn’t have a chance to. Naruto and Sasuke were always caught in that rivalry of theirs and Kakashi focussed mainly on them. She tried to voice her pain to them, but they brushed her off. So afterwards, she didn’t try again.. why should she really? After her parents were consumed by their loss of Aki. They became so distant, Sakura reached out to them trying to console them. Telling them that she was still here and misses him too, but they brushed her off with no care in the world for their daughter. She heard them talking one night, thinking that she was asleep. Talking about Aki, their dear son. Their only son, wishing it was someone else..wishing it was her . She knew that her parents always treated her differently than Aki. Aki was their pride and joy. Sakura knew. But having her suspicions confirmed was a blow to the heart. She confronted them, and they fought. She left, without saying anything.. Without looking back.
The Godaime helped her with looking for an apartment after finding out about her leaving her parents. After explaining the whole ordeal to Tsunade, she took Sakura under her wing. She was like a second mom, getting the love and parental support she always wished for. Now she lives in a nice four room apartment. One of the perks of being the Hokage’s apprentice. And it often was the place where the girls met for their girls night.

It was awkward when meeting her parents again, after the fight she hadn’t seen them for a couple months. They sat down, they talked, they cried and they apologized for treating her unfairly. Sakura understood and accepted their apology seeing the guilt on their faces. She was determined to show them that they could be proud of her as well, she wanted to mend the rift between them. She wanted her mother and father back in her life for she missed them dearly. Apparently it wasn’t meant to be. It was supposed to be a short holiday, a weekend outing for the three of them. Bonding time as her mother called it. It went so well and Sakura and her parents enjoyed it to the fullest.

On their way back they were ambushed by rogue ninja. Her parents tried to protect her. They fought the rogue ninja, telling her to run. She fought back, she tried to protect her parents on her part...and failed. How she made it out of there she didn’t know. She didn’t remember how she saw her parents getting killed or how she ended up in the hospital. It bothered her to this day. Tsunade told her it was due to the trauma. She told the girls that her gut tells her it’s something different. She was frustrated, angry at herself, for being weak..not being able to protect them.

And this pain being kept inside for so long, she broke. The girls silently promised that night to keep an eye out for each other. Being abandoned by your parents is in a way also losing someone. To finally having a chance to restore this bond and that chance being taken away from you in an instant. Ino couldn’t imagine the pain that Sakura went through. Ino sighed and turned to Sakura. “Sakura, honestly.. Get some rest. You need it.”.

Sakura stood up to pay the bill. “I can’t. Tsunade-shishou called me in for a mission. Apparently assistance is needed in Suna. Gaara summoned a team of konoha nin. And she wants me to go with them.” Ino raised her brow. “What for?”. Sakura shook her head and raised her shoulders. “Honestly I have no clue, I still have to receive the details. I haven’t been on that many missions lately. Tsunade has been ordering me to help out at the hospital, we’re short handed at the moment.” 

“Sakura, stop bullshitting me. You’re being sent on more missions than most of us during these last couple months. You’ve made jounin together with Shika and Neji for god's sake. Which we still need to celebrate by the way.. So, be prepared to go out with us when you get back.” 

Ino scoffed. This girl.. She has been working her ass off. Besides being sent on missions as an addition to teams, since team 7 has basically been disbanded with Sasuke and Naruto both have left to train with Orochimaru and Jiraiya. And Kakashi is not being helpful either in that aspect. Ino knew. Tsunade has been sending Sakura on solo missions as well, not only A-rank but S-rank as well. Besides being worried for her, Ino was proud. Sakura showed her hidden potential during the chuunin exams, where she tied with Ino. Ino graduated as the strongest kunoichi, but she was shocked to see Sakura growing so fast. Thinking back, Ino smiled. Who knew that Sakura, a child of civilians who were practically career chuunins, could grow so fast. And now a jounin. Ino knew that even Kakashi was surprised after they fought in the chuunin exams. He even complimented her, being quite complete due to her perfect chakra control, calling her quite complete. And she recently found out that Kakashi kept tabs on Sakura. She overheard him and Tsunade talking about the progress that she made. And it was safe to say that Kakashi was impressed hearing the growth of his student within 2.5 years becoming a Jounin, only one year after passing the chuuning exams in Suna together with Chouji and Ino. You could only accomplish this through talent or hard work. Or both in this case. Ino furrowed her brows, why didn’t Kakashi reach out to Sakura? Surely if he kept tabs on her, why didn’t he even talk to her? She didn’t understand that man. The nerve of him leaving her to herself. 

“Ino? Are you okay?” Ino turned her head to see Sakura looking at her concerned. “Sorry, forehead.. I was lost in thought. What were you saying?”. 

Sakura sighed. “I need to go. We’ll talk when I get back okay?” Ino nodded. Sakura walked out of Ichiraku Ramen and made her way to the Hokage Tower. 

It was nice to talk to Ino again. Maybe Ino was right. Maybe all it needs is time. And maybe the unsettling feeling in her heart recalling that sentence would lessen. Sakura shook her head. “I need a break after this..”

After 15minutes Sakura walked up the stairs of the hokage tower. It didn’t take long before she stood in front of Tsunade’s office. She knocked. “Come in”. Sakura sighed and walked inside.

“Tsunade-Shishou, you called for me?” Sakura smiled at Tsunade and bowed.

“Yes, I’ve already notified you that you’ve been asked to accompany a team.” Sakura nodded. Tsunade continued: “You will assist an anbu team during this mission. Their captain specifically asked for you to join them for this mission. They’ve been hearing rumors about a certain beautiful pink haired and slightly hot blooded but talented kunoichi climbing up the ranks, who coincidentally is my precious student and also one of the best in the medical field and close to surpassing me. And look and behold they want you to be a regular of their team. Even though it is not routine for a three man cell to have more members, this team is a little bit...special.”. Tsunade looked at Sakura and chuckled seeing her sceptical look. ‘This child still thinks she isn’t good enough’. She was cautious and quite aware that the following information will trouble her a little. 

Tsunade knew that Sakura was hurt in more ways than one. “They’re also joined once in a while by a Silver haired ex-anbu to help them out and tried to grill him apparently, asking about you, he even complained that they didn’t stop asking about you.”

“Tsunade-shishou, why are you telling me this? And why are you telling me that Kakashi is joining this team once in a while?”. Sakura sat down in the chair facing Tsunade. She didn’t understand how Kakashi was involved in this. Tsunade looked at Sakura, she was aware that her student was becoming annoyed. She knew that mentioning one of her team members strikes a nerve. Choosing her words carefully, Tsunade continued. “They’re one of- if not the best anbu team that Konoha has. And it appears that your name is regularly spoken of in the anbu headquarters Sakura. They know that you’re the student of Kakashi and this team would like for you to join them. Kakashi is a regular as well and this means that you’ll be teamed up together eventually. I know that you’re hurt, you feel let down that Naruto and Sasuke left you. You also feel that Kakashi let you down, focussing on them and not you. That he didn’t think you’re worth it. It angers you. Can you put these emotions aside if you see him again?” Tsunade asked. Sakura looked to the floor. Could she? Could she really put all of that aside? Sakura sighed. She’s a kunoichi, she made it to jounin at 16years old. After completing the chuunin exams with Ino and Choji and becoming chuunin together she asked Tsunade to intensify her training which led to her attending the Jounin exams after a year and passing with flying colours after the first try. She even received compliments from Ibiki afterwards.

“Sakura..”. Sakura was pulled from her thoughts by a different voice and looked up. “Kakashi..” Behind Tsunade stood the silver haired nin himself in all his glory. He looked at her and Sakura returned the look with emotionless eyes. Neither of them saying anything else. He walked to stand next to her, still looking at her. Sakura not breaking eye contact.

Tsunade sighed, she saw the troubled look in Kakashi’s eyes. Trying to figure out what Sakura was thinking, daring her to break the silence. This will be a challenge. Even she didn’t know what went on in Sakura’s mind during these moments. Which is why she asked Kakashi to stop by the office, to break the news to Sakura about him being a regular on that team. To see how she would react, but also to let the damned man realize what he missed out on, to give those two a chance to restore their bond. To see how they both would react, before letting Sakura make the choice if she would be a regular as well..or not. It was quite the honor to be asked to assist an Anbu team and even asked to join this team without being an actual anbu..(yet). Being a Jounin for just 6months and already having a certain level of fame, Sakura beat all odds. She didn’t come from a noble clan and being a Jounin at her age..only a few others became Jounin at a younger age, Kakashi and Uchiha Itachi being one of them. Both coming from a renowned powerful clan. Tsunade didn’t dare to tell her that Sakura was added to the bingo book recently. Kakashi notified her after reporting from a mission together with team Kage, the anbu team that wanted her to join. Rumors of a beautiful pink longhaired cherry blossom with stunning green emerald eyes was added to the books. He barged in the office demanding an explanation, the team tagging along behind him looking quite amused. Tsunade was amazed, Kakashi acting out of character wasn’t something that happened often. It meant that he was troubled. One of his students being in the bingo book wasn’t new. Naruto and Sasuke made it there ages ago, himself included as well. But for Sakura to be added in there, put him in distress. And that was something she knew all too well. She wasn’t happy learning about it either. It led to Tsunade telling him that Sakura has grown immensely, becoming Jounin. She explained to him that besides training with her, Sakura was also training on her own with Lee, Shikamaru, Ino, Neji, Kurenai, Hinata and even Gaara when he stopped by the village for a meeting with Tsunade. Sakura was unaware that Tsunade knew, she looked out for her disciple knowing that Sakura was the suffer in silence type. She was like a daughter to her. She knew what Sakura has been through, and who she lost. The incident with her parents and having a gap in her memory. She didn’t tell Kakashi about what had happened to his student. Because that was her story to tell. 

“Sakura..” Sakura broke eye contact with Kakashi to look at her Shishou. “What will you do?”

Sakura’s eyes filled with doubt, turning to look at the floor. “Can I give you an answer when I get back from this mission? Of course I’ll accept this mission, but you know…” Tsunade’s eyes softened at Sakura silently pleading for her to be patient and let her think about this first before giving an answer. 

Sneaking a look at Kakashi while giving Tsunade an answer. Kakashi noticed the hidden meaning in her plea. His eyes filled with regret and pain. Tsunade knew at that moment that he realized.

He realized that he let Sakura down. She saw that he turned to Sakura. “Sakura...I’m sorr-”. 

Sakura flinched. Her head snapped to Kakashi, irritated. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“But…” Sakura snarled. “Save it, I don’t want to hear it Hatake.. I don’t want to hear a word about how you’re sorry and how much you regret not even paying attention to me for the last couple of years. Save the pity party. I’m not in the mood to hear it, nor will I ever be. Shishou, can we please get this over with. You’ve summoned me for a mission and I’m done with this reunion. Can we please continue?” Sakura was standing by now, facing Kakashi. Anger and pain radiating from her face. It was during these times Tsunade could read her student like an open book.

Tsunade sighed and looked at a shocked Kakashi, the regret and guilt intensified in his eyes after Sakura’s outburst. “Kakashi, I’m sorry. I have to ask you to leave for now. Can I ask that you return tonight? I still have something to tell you.” Kakashi could only nod before leaving. Not even bothering to shunshin out of the office, but walking out the door. 

Tsunade turned to Sakura. “Are you okay Sakura?” She nodded . “Don’t shishou, please continue. Why am I being asked to assist on this mission specifically?”. 

Tsunade grabbed a scroll from her drawer and motioned for Sakura to take it. “Team Kage requested you because of your abilities Sakura. This mission is an S-rank, rumors are that Akatsuki are wandering around the borders of Suna and. Gaara requested our best as a back up. He’s worried that it has something to do with Naruto. I’ve already notified Jiraiya about their activity and asked to keep a low profile for now.” Sakura nodded. “But why am I being involved, surely Hatake would suffice as an addition?” Tsunade sighed. “Sakura, your medical knowledge and the ability to fight on the frontlines is crucial, giving the risk of Akatsuki lurking around. Sure Kakashi is an excellent addition, but if a fight is going to take place. You’re a necessary and crucial asset. Team Kage also acknowledges this and they have faith in your abilities. They are on par with Kakashi’s level of skills, if not better. It’s not the only reason that I’ve agreed for you to be going on this mission. Gaara has classified information about a certain member of the Akatsuki and Root. He didn’t want a random team, he wanted a team that is loyal to Konoha and their Hokage and you being my disciple, I trust you more than anyone else. You and Shizune are precious to me and I am asking you to meet with Gaara and report back to me.” 

This comment made her smile. It was a huge compliment coming from Tsunade. She wasn’t the type to lie and give fake compliments. “Well then, when am I meeting this team Kage and grace them with my presence?” Tsunade laughed, raising her left eyebrow before saying. “You’ll meet them tonight. They have a rather unusual way to get to know new members.” Sakura frowned, the innuendo piqued her interest. 

“Tonight? Where?” Seeing the amused look on Tsunade’s face meant trouble.

“You’ll meet them tonight, are you familiar with a new bar called Shaker Brothers?”. Sakura flinched. She was all too familiar with this bar. She and the girls went to this bar once, meeting the guys there. It resulted in a freaking hangover, Ino having blackmail material on all of them to last a lifetime, her acting like a fool, finding out that a drunk Hinata is a scary Hinata. Tenten swooning over Neji and throwing herself at him. Neji blushing as hell at her attempts. Sakura chuckled, a very drunk and emotional Neji is also a sight to behold.

“So...Who am I to meet there?” Sakura asked. 

Tsunade grinned. “Didn’t think you were the drinking type saku-chan.” Sakura’s brow twitched in annoyance and grinned. “I’ve learned to handle my drinks thanks to my lovely gambling and sake-addicted shishou, who happens to be my drinking buddy once in a while. I’ve learned from the best.” Raising her arm and making a victory sign towards Tsunade. Giving Rock Lee vibes. He was rubbing off on her with his extravagant poses.

Tsunade chuckled. “Well it’s good that you’ve learned to hold your liquor. You’ll be meeting with Ryuu, Hayato and Yue tonight. Tomorrow you will be leaving for your mission. One thing that you have to know.. They don’t know about the information that Gaara has. That part is a mission meant only for you and I’ve notified Gaara that he’s to speak with you privately as soon as you arrive at the kazekage’s office.”

Sakura nodded. If the others don’t know about that, it means that the information is delicate. The less people know, the better. “Sakura.., I know that you’ve been hurt. But I really hope that you can set your feelings of doubt aside and join this team. Trust in their abilities. I’m sure you’ll come to like them.” Tsunade walked up to Sakura and put a hand on her shoulder. “You are my student and I wouldn’t have approved of their request if I didn’t think you could handle it.” Seeing the doubt on Sakura’s face, she continued: “I really hope you and Kakashi can figure things out and talk things through. I didn’t mention this earlier, but he has been keeping tabs on you. I’m sure he regrets his actions and doesn’t know how to face you. When he was notified that you’ve been requested to join this team, he was filled with pride Sakura. I told him that you’ve made Jounin and what you’ve done these last years. Give him a chance.”

Sakura sighed. “Shishou, I don’t know how to act at the moment. Let me go on this mission first. Afterwards I’ll report back to you. Please let me think this through.” Tsunade stood up 

Tsunade pulled Sakura in a hug, which she returned, before letting her go to look at her. “Give it time Sakura.. I’m sure Kakashi had his reasons. Now go and prepare yourself for a nice night out to meet the team. You’ll like them. Ryuu will pick you up around 7.” Tsunade grabbed her shoulder and shoved her albeit gently towards the door. “Now go and get your ass out of my office. I’m in desperate need of a drink, scram kiddo. And do enjoy your night, you’re dismissed.”

Sakura chuckled. “Yes ma’am.” She walked out her door, curious about her potential new team.