Self Redemption

Just past noon, the Senju mansion was quiet as can be. It was the late spring-early summer season, with every ray of sunlight carrying enough warmth. Cicadas chirped in the courtyard, and the pond's surface glistened. Tobirama was alone in the spacious study.

Although it was called a study, it was more akin to a small library. The wooden bookshelves bore the marks of time, and the scent of books and paper filled the air. A substantial desk was placed near the floor-to-ceiling window, and a small reading area was separated in one corner of the room.

Hashirama wasn't present. He had initially been there, but some work had come up for him. He had intended to postpone that work, but Tobirama insisted that Hashirama should go handle his business first. "I have amnesia, elder brother," Tobirama's tone wasn't particularly polite, "Not dementia."

Even though he was addressing his older brother in such a manner, it felt entirely natural, perhaps this was how they used to converse? Tobirama found himself lost in thought for a moment, until Hashirama leaned in and gave his brother a tight hug.

"Tobirama..."

At a certain moment, Hashirama sounded very saddened. But when Tobirama focused to listen carefully, that overwhelming emotion disappeared.

"So, Tobirama, will you be fine at home? If you get bored, you can visit the study in the house."

And that's why Tobirama was now here, in what could rightfully be called the library.

When Hashirama wasn't around, those unexplained anxieties would surge. They hadn't disappeared; they were just suppressed by the presence of his older brother.

Hashirama mentioned that he had studied abroad for several years, but Tobirama didn't know what field of study he pursued – the memory loss was too complete. Whenever he attempted to dig something out of his mind, the result was only heightened anxiety.

Was it the amnesia itself that brought about these feelings, or... something that happened before it?

Regardless, he needed to calm down.

Tobirama took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, letting the unsettled emotions that had filled his chest with unease leave his body with each breath.

Since overthinking wasn't yielding any results, he decided to follow his brother's advice and get up. It was time to find something to occupy his time.

He scanned the book spines, pulling out several thick volumes without much inspection, a few of them marked with dried flower bookmarks. Even though they were well-preserved, it was clear they had been read many times. Flipping through a few pages, he found countless passages about various aspects of Buddhism. Despite having two younger brothers in the house, Tobirama had the feeling that these were all books Hashirama had read.

He inexplicably felt a little lighter and closed the book, stacking it on top.

The clock's hands ticked away. As the sun began to set, the window frame's shadow cast itself across half the room, and Tobirama spun his chair around in a circle, positioning himself toward the large windows.

Half of the floor-to-ceiling window was concealed by thick curtains, while the other half had the curtains drawn back, allowing the person inside to look outside.

The blue sky stretched like an endless sea, with occasional flocks of birds flying by. He suddenly felt like this scene was somewhat familiar.

He couldn't help but step closer to the window.

The glass was warmed by the sunlight, and from Tobirama's perspective, he could see the vast courtyard below. The trees were thriving, their branches and leaves lush and gently swaying in the breeze. Even though there was a window between them, Tobirama felt like he could almost hear the rustling of the leaves... Perhaps the wind was indeed strong, as a bright green leaf was blown down, twirling in the air before falling in front of Tobirama.

Without much thought, he pushed open the window. Instantly, a warm breeze hit his face, carrying the scent of wind and sunlight, brushing through Tobirama's hair and filling the entire study.

He reached out and caught the fallen leaf.

The table shook, and Tobirama swiftly turned around. He put the green leaf aside, and in his ears, there was an attempt to suppress a cry of pain that ultimately failed.

His gaze went beyond the table to the source of the disturbance. He saw a young man half-kneeling on the ground, continuously rubbing his knee. The table leg had ruffled the carpet on the floor, leaving creases. It must have taken considerable force to tilt this heavy table slightly.

While rubbing his knee, the young man kept his slightly round eyes fixed on Tobirama, appearing somewhat alarmed. He had short hair that was half-black and half-white, and Hashirama's cheerful voice echoed in Tobirama's mind... "Tobirama looks like Mother, " he had said.

Tobirama unconsciously held his breath, and a name naturally formed on the tip of his tongue. Before he could utter that name, another voice drowned out the words he hadn't yet spoken.

"Itama!"

Another figure appeared at the doorway, swiftly entering the room and pulling Itama up from the ground. His movements could be described as rough, scolding, "I told you not to be in such a rush! See, you've run into something again, right? Don't end up stuck and unable to move..."

"But, but..." Itama glanced at Tobirama behind Kawarama, "Kawarama, hold on, that... elder brother..."

With his back to Tobirama, he couldn't see Kawarama's expression, but Itama's voice gradually trailed off.

Kawarama slowly turned around, and he had a pair of round, Hashirama-like black eyes. The moment Tobirama saw his face, a wave of emotions surged within him, mixed with both joy and sorrow, and he willingly allowed himself to be engulfed by it.

However, Kawarama's gaze wasn't as warm as Hashirama's. He looked at Tobirama with a hostile expression, as if he was witnessing an presence that shouldn't be here.

His lips moved dryly, saying, "Elder brother." Then, he pushed Kawarama back behind him.

A chill ran through Tobirama's mind.

Kawarama had positioned Itama behind him, and his body language clearly conveyed one thing: he was cautious. He was the third among the four brothers and Itama's elder brother. He was protecting his younger brother, just as any older brother should, but it shouldn't be directed towards another one of their own brothers.

This wasn't the way siblings should behave.

Tobirama didn't show any outward reaction, he simply said, "You must be Kawarama, right?"

"Uh-huh," Kawarama reluctantly replied with a nod, and he fell silent. The atmosphere once again became heavy. Itama stammered, nervously grabbing Kawarama's shoulder, crumpling the fabric there.

Even the warm sunlight couldn't dispel the weight on Tobirama's heart, carrying a hint of pain.

There must have been something that happened, something that his elder brother hadn't told him about.

But for now, he had no intention of confronting his younger brothers.

"If you need the study, I can leave," Tobirama said, clutching the leaf tightly. He walked past the desk and attempted to pass by his two younger brothers to reach the door.

Itama stared wide-eyed, watching his movements. As Tobirama walked past them, Kawarama's facial muscles tightened due to tension.

He already had the features of a young man, with a hint of youthful naivety. Of course, their parents had passed away a long time ago, and according to Hashirama, the two younger brothers weren't much younger than Tobirama.

However, Tobirama still felt a sense of disorientation. The young man in front of him shouldn't be like this; he should be younger, softer, and should look at him with a smile, free of any shadows, not refusing the presence of his elder brother, even when angry.

He should...

Tobirama blurted out, "Is your face wound healed?"

It was an incomplete sentence, yet as soon as the words came out, all three of them were momentarily stunned. Kawarama instinctively touched his own cheek, his black eyes staring at Tobirama as if they had just met him, pupils almost trembling, no longer as sharp as before. Kawarama's lips parted, and he fell silent for a while. He said, "Yes... it's healed."

"... That's good, then."

Tobirama didn't want to further intensify the tense atmosphere, so he simply said, "I'll leave then."

"Wait!"

Kawarama suddenly reached out to stop him.

"You... you just now... are you really..."

His voice trailed off midway.

After a long pause, Kawarama withdrew his hand.

"No, it's nothing..."

He lowered his head.

"... Tobirama brother should rest well."