Chapter two.
Iruka saw another man resting on his back when he came back to the room. Probably one of the workers thought it will be a good idea to give new patient more space until Umino will back. Only fragment of visible skin is a skinny thumb holding short book. That was kinda weird pose for reading…
Younger man grab his phone and opened the chat with new number seeing two messages even before he wrote something about Gai’s friend’s woke.
‘I wanted to say thank you for your patience, even if we only talk a little. I was in nerves about all the stuff and I could sound like kind of maniac of something. Tell me just how are you doing and how’s Kashi.”
“And PLEASE DON’T YOU EVER CALL ME ‘MR’ OR ‘SIR’ AGAIN PRETTY PLEASE, I’M NOT THAT OLD, SHIT.’
Iruka laughs nervously covering that by hand. It wasn’t enough and after that move he noticed someone’s eyes on him. He wanted to respond with something comforting or at least nice, but being watched by ‘Kashi’ made him insecure about own behaviours.
In the same moment when Iruka decided to sign him something, man turned away without hesitation.
Iruka frowned feeling misunderstood. But what he could expect from the stranger laying in hospital bed looking almost dead.
He chooses few word and send them to Gai as a short, non-binding response. After few minutes staring at the enthusiastic answers Umino starts unpack small portion of hot vegetables and spicy brown rice.
Something hit him unexpectedly on the left side.
Kakashi was watching Iruka’s warm styrofoam packaging still wearing a piece of the quilt on face. The thing what hit Iruka was another bakery packaging smelling like something with cinnamon.
‘Wanna change?’
At first Iruka thought this sounds kinda funny
for two adults. Changing their lunches like in middle school. But then he found this not that bad idea.
‘Actually why not, thank you.’
He’s taking a big bite of cinnamon roll while Kakashi play with chopsticks. There isn’t long while until silver hair man reading again and his meal isn’t even touched.
Umino smiles to him trying to explain to himself why this man doesn’t show his face naturally.
‘My name is Iruka. Your good friend ask me to have eye on you. You’re Kakashi, is that right?’ Maybe that wasn’t the nicest way to introduce yourself, but Umino was desperate. Hatake look at him by his grey tired eyes and move his hands again.
‘Don’t mind Gai.’ He answered shortly. After own name he nodded. ‘What someone like you wasting your time here? You don’t look sick. I guess.’
‘That’s actually great, I assume… I came for periodic examinations. I was born with deformed ear canal. After meningitis people need to examined their state. So, nothing to worry. Simple request for boss…’
Maybe that would help their conversation open. But Hatake doesn’t look interested by this story. Or anything in Umino except his taken meal.
‘What about you?’ He asked shyly. Kakashi left his book on one of the last pages what shocked Iruka because he saw him just staring reading.
‘Boring stuff. I don’t think you wanna know about that.’
‘Well, I wanna, but if you don’t it’s not a problem. I understand. You don’t look well.’
Kakashi almost laughed looking at Iruka’s friendly face. If a stranger like him can see that, it’s one more reason to not receive visitors here. Yamato and Gai have own life what he decides to be not part of it. He wants good for his kids. The view in his mind of smiling Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto… He needs to call Gai to make sure he doesn’t tell them anything about their favourite teacher. And he must make sure Pakkun is happy with Tenzou and he gives his dogs their favourite treats. There are a lot things to make sure about…
Kakashi hold his breath for few seconds more while he covers the bed by curtain. Pale fingers touched sharp face feeling nauseous and dizzy.
He looks at the untouched phone seeing familiar wallpaper. Four people send him something what he really does not want to open. Kakashi left them without answers or last letter like his father did and what he hated about his father all of his childhood. Last thing Hatake really wanted to be is a problem. But from the last night he’s just tired. Still is.
In some situations help or good word from friend starts to come to mind as a not enough. Gai can be gentle with Kakashi, he can check is his best friend is eating well, sleeping or not trying to hang himself in their small bathroom. But depression take him that deep so it nothing really matter anymore. The same thing with everything and everybody. The feeling of tiredness killed him time ago and now the same thing need to kill his dying body to let Hatake rest. He chooses quick ways for suicide, even if they’re painful. But the fact is dying scares him even if he did it on purpose so many times. Kakashi is too tired for sleep and even his own death. Also too tired for leaving normal. Something inside him must be broken and he gave up about fixing that thing.
••
In the middle of the night orderly nurse came back to change Kakashi’s catheter, drip and take a few notes about patient’s condition. Hatake is already able to stand by himself so even if big clock show late hour he decides to take a short walk as he always does.
Iruka sleeps calmly after he packed his stuff. Hatake sighed softly. It was the first time when he actually looked at Iruka more than few seconds. He noticed earlier man’s scar on than skin. But now scar is contrasting with his long eyelashes and rosy cheeks. He seems delicate for Kakashi. Umino has small kind of ruddy nose, friendly round face and full lips. He looks younger but not that much. Definitely in his twenties just like Kakashi.
Silver hair man doesn’t feel good just standing and watching like some creep so he opens the second book again. He slept all two days with shorts break so it isn’t big deal spend night alone reading. Gai tried to call him several times but he didn’t feel good about picking up. He has nothing to tell him and nothing to explain so he’s silent. Actually Gai knows he hates phones and probably thinks situation is too serious for texting even if that would make his best friend uncomfortable. Kakashi even if practically can talk, he prefers not to let people know that. Privacy can be convenient.
At the 02:00 a.m. he makes a short walk again to not let his legs numb. Getting out of his bad was harder this time and he finally finds he didn’t eat anything today. Dinner portion stays untouched and he maybe drunk a single cup of water. Maybe that is because of the drip but he can’t force himself to eat either.
While he sites on the cold chair feeling at least sixty years older Iruka turn to him with eyes squinting.
‘Go to sleep. ‘m sorry.’ He wanted to signed something else but Umino watched Kakashi’s uncovered face with kind of reflection what woke him up a little bit. ‘I just wanted more water. Now sleep.’ He clears the throat.
Umino turns on small reading lamp attached to the bookmark.
‘Alright. Don’t be sorry.’ His hands are moving slowly and sleepy. ‘I can’t sleep well here either.’
Kakashi nodded taking a long sip. His facial expression doesn’t say a lot to Umino. He couldn’t tell why that man covering his face. He can tell he’s handsome even in the dark where the dark circles around eyes are more visible. At first Iruka thought maybe some skin details are only his imagination, but looking at man more closely made him sure they are not. Hatake has little mole above the thin pale lips. That added some humanity to the cold stranger’s look.
When grey eyes remained Iruka about how his habit about watching is obvious and naughty he felt judged.
‘Sorry. But this is actually first time when I see your face. Maybe I found this interesting. Subconsciously…’
‘I’m not saying anything.’ Kakashi threw up arms. He sits on his bed. Iruka notice he acts slower and maybe even more downcast. ‘You are going back to normal world today, am I right?’
Iruka also turn to his bag what is point of Kakashi’s interest.
‘Um. Yeah. And I’m glad.’ Umino’s touching the name tag on the same bag. ‘But I’m sure you’ll back too.’
Hatake signs nothing what makes Iruka nervous about no answer.
‘Well’ Kakashi plays with his tatty hair. ‘I will be not here for long, that’s for sure.’
‘What’s then?’
‘Gai prolly just wanna put me in some… Health care place. I don’t honestly give a fuck about it.‘
‘You mean something like sanatorium?’
‘More like mental hospital.’
They both paused. Hatake wanted to watch stranger and his reactions but Iruka also doesn’t says anything. Maybe because some realisations hit him not that gently.
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Umino answered with lowered eyes. ‘I’m really sorry.’
Kakashi smiled first.
‘Don’t be. We should both go to sleep now before someone will say something uncomfortable. I have too many unfunny jokes about word ‘hearing’’
‘Jesus christ…’ Umino shy laugh make Kakashi sure he shouldn’t tell him things like this. ‘Well. Maybe you should tell some of them if they are good.’
‘They are not.’
Hatake turn off the light and lays down.
Iruka did the same but he couldn’t sleep rest of the night.
••
Morning light wake up Iruka less early than in days what he spend here. Maybe it is a good omen for him, he thought. He dressed himself fully finding the last night situation really difficult right now. Some thoughts are still inside him when old doctor says about good news. Before sun fully rises he can just leave this place and don’t worry about it for next few years.
But he wouldn’t. Kakashi isn’t sleeping. Iruka can tell. So he showed himself holding small bag with empathetic feelings. Hatake who was covering his face this time with real face mask frowned.
‘What?’ He asked looking from his book. Iruka stopped even speculation about the fact Kakashi likes to read this again and again….
‘I’m leaving. I wanted to say something like ‘Good luck’ or ‘I hope you’ll be finally okay’ but now when I said that loud it doesn’t sound right…’ He smiles feeling extra stupid. Especially when Kakashi moves his lips under the mask to let him know he sighs.
‘What can I say instead of thank you.’ His watch Iruka for the moment but then he tried to find other words. ‘Thank you for comforting my stupid friend. I’m glad he didn’t run here in the middle of the night like last time.’
‘Good damn…’ Iruka stunned. Kakashi definitely thought he could find that funny. Umino toke a small paper piece, the same what Gai gift him to write something on it.
‘I didn’t expect someone will give me their number in the emergency department…’ Hatake jokes seeking number’s combination on paper next to Gai’s one. ‘Maybe I should show my face earlier, hm?’
‘How many awkward jokes do you have…?’ Iruka laughed gently. Hatake is able to hear this a little. Even if it’s hard and interrupted by the screeching in his ears, Iruka almost silent laughs is kind of pleasurable.
‚Too many. Poor you because I already have your number.’
‘I’m starting to regret it…’ He laughs again.
Hatake was watching him leaving after they they waved goodbye to each other. Minute later he even looked through the window and saw Iruka standing and waiting for taxi.
He couldn’t remember last time when he actually talked to stranger that long.