Fastidioso

The world around her was spinning. The sun was too bright. Where was the throne room again? Ah, right. This hallway leads directly to it.

Mafuyu trods to the throne room. She hears her presence be announced somewhere. She can just make out the blur of man nobles, all of them greeting her. She can't understand them at all. 

Perhaps pulling an all nighter and traveling to three cities wasn't a good idea at all...

“Mafuyu!”

The knight straightens up, the shock snaps her mind awake. Once again, the act returns. The purple-haired walks to the throne and kneels in front of it with her his head hanging now. “Morning, Ma. I apologize for arriving late. It will not happen again.” She He can hear whispers of the audience, yet can't make out any words. She He knows they're all talking about her him.

The Queen laughs. “You're not late at all! In fact, you're just in time,” she says cheerfully though her laughs die out as her head turns to the empty throne besides her, “Unfortunately, your father won't be able to join us. A messenger was sent last night asking for assistance in battle by the royal guard. He went to command it so you didn't have to. I thought you needed the rest.”

Mafuyu nods.

“Now get up. Marshal, speak.”

Mafuyu turns around to see the Marshal standing behind her him. The old man bows his head, removing the iron helmet and reveals his gray hair. “Yes, Your Majesty,” He says, “His Highness has been doing wonderfully. The royal guard hasn't ever been this lethal ever since the prince’s arrival. Among all the Generals, Mafuyu has been the one to have not lost a battle against the enemy.”

Mafuyu's eyes shift to the carpet. These words were meaningless.

“I wish… my son was more like him.”

Now, those words fuel Mafuyu with irrational fury. She He glares at the Marshal while reaching for her his sword, but the Queen's chuckle brings her him back to her focus. “Thank you, Aoyagi, for the input,” she says as she waves her hand, “You suggest the prince is the perfect man?” Mafuyu's world spins again. 

“Yes, Your Majesty,” The Marshal says.

She He feels dizzy.

“Good.”

The chatter gets louder. Is she he still standing straight? Mafuyu's legs are frozen. She He can feel the ice send a shiver up her his spine. There's a loud ringing in the knight's ears. Everything's blurry.

“Mafuyu? Mafuyu are you okay?” The Queen's voice snaps her him back once again. The Marshal is holding her him up.

Mafuyu quickly jolts away from the Marshal's grasp. “Perdóname. I must be more exhausted than I realized,” The purple-haired woman man replies, shaking her his head.

The Queen gets off the throne and cups Mafuyu's cheeks. Those eyes bore into her his face, it's so hard to look back. “You're resting for the rest of the day. I can't bare the thought of you getting sick,” She says as she pulls the prince into a hug, “You've been working so hard and I appreciate that. But also take care of yourself too, okay?”

Mafuyu's hand remain on her his side. “Yes, Your Majesty,” the deep voice that escaped her him is so horse it sparks concern in the Queen once again. “Let's continue. I can rest after,” Mafuyu adds, standing straight once again.

“If you insist,” The Queen says as she returns back to the throne, “Mafuyu, I know you're very familiar with the Shinonome royals. After all, I sent you to them for years so that they teach you the best fighting techniques all over the world. Their Kingdom being a hotspot for international trade has gained you knowledge of empires from overseas. They're really powerful, aren't they?”

Mafuyu nods, swallowing as her his fingers begin to twitch.

“Their eldest is a woman around your age, isn't it?” The Queen asks.

Mafuyu closes her his eyes, recalling a certain obnoxious brunette. She He can feel her his left eye twitch in slight irritation. They've never spoken to each other… actually maybe they have but Mafuyu didn't care enough to remember, but definitely have been in the same room way too many times than necessary. She and her younger brother were way too loud.

But seeing the siblings together, it brought an intense feeling to Mafuyu's chest she could only make out to be a mix of sadness and fury.

“Princess Shinonome Ena,” Mafuyu recalls the name of the batty woman. 

“Whatever her name is, what do you think about asking for her hand?”

Mafuyu blinks twice. Did she he hear right? Asking for the hand of that princes? As in, marrying her? Mafuyu feels all gazes on her him, waiting eagerly for the reply. But there's none. What can Mafuyu even say? Could she he even dare to say she he was opposed to the idea? But agreeing would mean she'd he'd… no, the purple prince can't give up on her his search on the beloved dearest. That was impossible. How could Mafuyu given up on her own purpose in life?

“You see, this marriage would benefit us all, especially with this war. We'll gain a better access to that Kingdom’s resources. They're a great alliance, but if you marry that princess they'd be tied to us. We'll easily win this war,” The Queen says with smile as her gaze meets Mafuyu's eyes, “By the Marshal’s words, you're the perfect man. And a perfect man deserves a faithful beautiful wife. And from what I've heard, the princess’s absolutely stunning. Isn't she, Mafuyu?”

Mafuyu swallows again. It's becoming quite difficult to keep the calm deminure. Shinonome Ena… stunning? What exactly was stunning? What made a person stunning? Is that similar to likeable? But what did likable mean? Maybe not annoying? Though Shinonome Ena was slightly annoyed. Then that meant she wasn't likable. Then that meant she wasn't stunning. But everyone else was equally annoying. That princess was equal to everyone else. No one was stunning to Mafuyu. So it's back to the first question: what exactly is stunning?

“Stunning…” Mafuyu echoes.

“And she knows you very well. I'm sure she'd wouldn't mind having a fine man like yourself,” The Queen adds but tilts her head at Mafuyu's prolonged silence, “What's the matter Mafuyu? Is it that you're not attracted to her?”

Attracted… All these words Mafuyu didn't understand made her his brain hurt. Attraction… Where did Mafuyu hear this word last? Ah... She He thinks back to the books she'd he'd read on her his prolonged morning's in the Shinonome's ginormous library. Mafuyu had nothing better to do, so to motivate herself himself to continue another day, Mafuyu had made it her his personal goal to read every single book in that library. Mafuyu came across all kinds of genres, including romance. Especially in her his later teenage years, Mafuyu was strangely particularly drawn to them. 

Reading them was boring, but when Mafuyu inserted herself himself to them as an effort to understand the concept…

Mafuyu's cheeks started to burn. It was embarrassing to recall how many books she he had read imagining herself and a certain-

“Ha! Ha! The prince is a shy one!” Mafuyu returns back to reality noticing that her his embarrassment was quite visible. May body language be damned! She He lowers her his head once again in absolute distraught.

“I see how it is,” Mafuyu's mother finally says with a hint of tease, “Mafuyu, I'd send a group along with you but I wouldn't want to alarm King Shinei. Do you mind traveling alone?”

Mafuyu raises her his head. The smile on her his lips twitches, threatening to crack. The knight's movements were misinterpreted. Now, the agreement was sealed despite not having said a thing. Mafuyu's going to have to marry the Shinonome Princess. “You wish for me to return to that Kingdom?” The knight's voice is quiet, slightly higher pitch than allowed.

Huge mistake on Mafuyu's part. She He could see the Queen tense at the slight mess up. The two look around the room frantically but it seems no one had noticed. They were all still busy making fun of Mafuyu.

Guilt overwhelmed her him. “I can do the journey alone, Your Majesty,” Mafuyu declares, awfully louder than she he meant. The deep voice seemed to bring relief back to the Queen, “I’ll depart tomorrow, so I marry Princess Ena sooner. The sooner I do, the sooner we end this war.”

The Queen's warmer smile returns. “Good to hear! You may leave now, my son. I'll have the maids pack any items you might need on your journey,” She says while walking down to her him and gives Mafuyu a very, very tight hug. Mafuyu doesn't protest, yet she he feels cold again. “I know the Shinonomes’ have raised you very well. You are incapable of making mistakes, ¿cierto?” She whispers into Mafuyu's ear.

Oh. She was still concerned about the screw up. Mafuyu attempts to nod but the grip around her his body is too tight. Mafuyu can't breathe. “Yes… Ma…” Mafuyu chokes out before gasping for air once the Queen releases and pushes the knight forward.

“Now go to sleep, ¡hijo! You need all the energy you can get for tomorrow's journey!” The Queen exclaims with a laugh, “Love you!”

Mafuyu bows down, excusing herself himself out of the throne room. Once out, the act can come off.

Somehow, Mafuyu managed to mindlessly make it outside the palace. Her vision blurs once she takes a good look of the clear sky above to make sure she wasn't imagining being outside. Tears begin to stream down her face. 

She can't stay here. The guards will notice and alert her mother. She has to get far.

No one could see the Prince of the Morning in such an awful state. The royal that was sent away when the war started to come back stronger in order to save them all. The prince that was the Kingdom's most lethal weapon. The knight that they've all been told was undefeatable and strong. The perfect man. Such a man couldn't be seen crying at such a simple task. Everyone had to get married at some point, didn't they? The perfect man wouldn't be throwing such a fit over that! Yet, she was. Mafuyu couldn't dare ruin the lie because of that.

During her heavy years of training, running was one Mafuyu had gotten particularly good at. In fact, she was one of the fastest knights. Now, she was running to get away. Mafuyu ran and ran until she could no longer see the palace right behind her. The tears slapped against her cheeks painfully with the wind. 

Mafuyu had just gotten back after ten painful years. Why was she being sent away… again? She has just returned! The war? What gives, as long as it allows Mafuyu to explore this kingdom inside out she'll participate. Anything beyond that didn't matter to her. The reason for her win streak? Mafuyu couldn't afford to die. Not without seeing her dearest one last time.

Mafuyu's dearest. She can't believe Mafuyu's being separated from her… again. Though it seemed her dearest had disappeared off the map, literally. Mafuyu had even checked on the death registry for her name, though without knowing the family name it proved too difficult. At least none of the names similar to Mafuyu's dearest had ages matched Mafuyu's in the death dates. So, she was still alive.

Maybe, she wasn't in this Kingdom anymore.

Mafuyu makes it to the flower field behind the palace. Her eyes fall on the patch of fringed iris, looking the exact same as they did ten years ago. She can't touch them, for direct contact with skin can cause rashes. 

She would know…

She can see the ancient broken wall, and to her disappointment (just like everyday), there's no one waiting for her. It's lonely, like it never contained what was Mafuyu's most precious memories.

She sniffs, feeling more tears roll down her face. Mafuyu's knees go weak, and she falls to the grass below. 

What were the last words Mafuyu heard from her dearest? Oh, right.

“I'll be waiting, Yuki.” That's what her dearest had said ten years ago. Though, she had no idea that Mafuyu would be gone for a decade without a sign of life. Who'd even wait for that long?

It was Mafuyu's fault. If only she had told her dearest that her parents were sending her to a Kingdom far away. If only she had told her dearest of her true identity. If only she didn't break down in her dearest’s arms and kept her forever wondering what was wrong with Mafuyu that day. If only Mafuyu hadn't just run off without saying goodbye.

Mafuyu digs her fingers into the grass below. The wind sends shivers up her spine. “My dearest,” Mafuyu sobs, allowing her voice to be a higher pitch, “Kanade!”

Mafuyu yells the name into the wind over and over until her throat begins to become sore. Until her fingertips become blue. Until the tears finally freeze onto her skin like tiny icicles. Until the rest of her body collapses due to the lack of sleep from the night before.

Mafuyu makes no effort to get up. “Kanade…” she tries to feebly call out once more, as if she'll receive a response. The grass prickles her skin, her body is freezing. Though her heart is what hurts the most.

Without Kanade, she has no purpose. At least, one that's her own. Despite being sent away for the war, what motivated Mafuyu to continue living was the thought of seeing Kanade again. Aside from that, Mafuyu was only a weapon. An object for her kingdom to use. 

The broken wall remained empty. Well, Mafuyu's fate was sealed. If the world wanted her to be a weapon, a weapon she shall be.

Mafuyu has given up.