Chapter 1
“Well, it certainly looks like your play is more important to you than I could ever be!” Anne glared at her husband, she was furious and fuming with emotions. She tried her best to stand her ground and to appear fierce, even though she was shaking on the inside. All these emotions had built up over years and years of loneliness and always being second best, never the first choice, the priority. Not once had the great William Shakespeare deigned to even begin to mention or acknowledge her in one of his pieces. Not once had he cared enough to make an effort to make her feel loved, taken care of or seen. It was always her, supporting him by taking care of the children, the house and silently agreeing with him by simply not objecting to anything he did. These days were about to be over; Anne could not take any of his self-indulgence any longer, she had to reclaim her life and write her own story, just like she had told Juliet to.
Taken aback by his wife’s sudden outburst, William stood there, flabbergasted and not quite sure how to react, for he had never witnessed her throwing any kind of fit, like she was right now. “Anne, dear, listen- “, he took a step towards his wife, an attempt to try and calm her down. That only seemed to fuel Anne’s rage, as she took a step back and stared him down, daring him to come even an inch closer. William stopped dead in his tracks, unsure about what would be the best reaction. “Don’t you dare and try to tell me what to do, I cannot take this any longer, it’s time for Juliet to write her own story”, Anne’s jaw was clenched, hands clenched into fists, “you made her suffer through enough, William. It appears to me that you simply cannot live with the thought of a strong woman taking her life into her own hands.” William stepped forward, opening his mouth to protest but Anne quickly shushed him and continued, taking an angry step towards her husband, eyeing him furiously.
“As far as I’m concerned, Juliet is better off without that whore of a man that you call Romeo and all the drama he brings, and maybe,” she paused for a few seconds, feeling a lump in her throat and tears starting to dwell in the corners of her eyes. Anne quickly shook her head, took a deep breath, and regained her composure. There was no way she was going to let William know how much this really affected her. “Maybe I am better off without you too.”
William looked at her, trying to process what his wife had just said and while he was still trying to come up with something to respond, Anne took the quill, shot him a glare filled with fury and anger, snapped it in half and gave it back to him. “I’m done with you”, was all she said before turning around and storming off, her shoulders shaking.
William didn’t know how long he stayed standing where she had left him, staring down at the two pieces of the quill in his hands. Had there actually been tears in her eyes or was his mind playing tricks on him? He quickly shook the thought away, regaining his posture. It did not matter anyway, Anne had just ensured that neither of them could make any further changes to the story, if he did not know what to feel just seconds before, he was even angrier now. Determined to not let Anne win, he stormed off, already making new plans to add to this disaster of conflicts.
—
Having found a quiet corner for herself, Anne sat down, her face in her hands, and let out a deep breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. Had she been too harsh with William? Was she in the wrong? Should she go and apologize to him? All kinds of questions flooded her head, making her mind spin out of control. No, she thought, there was no way she would let him have it his way, as he always did. Not this time. This play already had her heart and soul poured into it; she would do anything she could to make it the best story yet.
All of a sudden, she felt a soft, careful hand on her shoulder and a worried voice reached her. “April? What happened, are you alright?” April looked up from her hands and recognized Juliet kneeling on the ground in front of her, a warm but worried smile on her face and her hand still on April`s shoulder. Juliet raised an eyebrow and April realized that she hadn’t responded to her question yet. She quickly sat straight up, shook all the negative thoughts away and smiled at the girl in front of her. “Sure, everything’s fine. It’s just my husband getting on my nerves, you know how men can be”, she rolled her eyes and tried to grin at Juliet, but it came out more like a desperate grimace. Juliet eyed her suspiciously, not quite believing what her friend told her. “Are you sure? You do know that you can talk to me about everything right? You’re always here for me, supporting me through all this adventure, so I would really like to return the favour, you know.” Juliet stood from the ground and sat on the small bench next to April. Carefully, she put an arm around April and pulled her into a hug. The two stayed holding each other for a while, both not quite sure about who was supporting who, but just accepting the warmth and comfort it brought.
When she finally felt like being able to speak properly without her voice betraying her, April slowly let go of Juliet and pulled away. “Juliet, dear. Why don’t you go and find May, I bet they could really need a good friend to talk to right now.” She gave her a warm smile and softly pushed her away to make her point clear. Juliet sighed, nodded, and slowly stood up, knowing that she rather wanted to stay with April. But April had a point, she had a wedding to plan and really needed to talk to May before all the hectic planning and organizing was about to start. She squeezed her friend’s hand reassuringly and took off to find May.
Anne did not know how long she sat on the bench after Juliet had left. The thoughts poured down on her like a heavy rainstorm in the English countryside, one of which she had witnessed far too many to count. In their house, with the children, without William. Alone. It had always been alone. It was in that moment that she made the decision to not let any man, not even her husband, take over her life. Her husband. She thought about that word for a long time. Yes, he was her husband and yes, they used to be very in love, a long time ago. Nowadays however, they felt more estranged from one another and if she was being completely honest with herself, she always dreaded the rare days when he would come home to see her. Was that the way she wanted to spend the rest of her life? Definitely not. Anne straightened her back and stood from the bench. It was about time she wrote her own story.
—
Juliet was in no hurry on her way to find May. She needed some time to get her mind straight and sort out her thoughts first. What had been going on with April recently? She had noticed that the redhead had become more confident with every little adventure they encountered, she had been ecstatic and full of joy to finally get out and experience parties and just let loose. Juliet smiled thinking about all the fun they had at the Renaissance ball, although the memories were a bit blurry from the drinks they had, but that made the evening even so much more fun. She had never imagined herself to be able to move on after Romeo, to be able to just enjoy herself without having to think about what anybody, especially her family, thought about her. Angelique and April had really helped her to see what her new life could be like; filled with laughter, fun, good friends, and a hell of a good time.
Especially April had encouraged her not to let Romeo ruin her life for good and to not be content with the bare minimum. So, what had happened? When she had passed the bench April had been sitting on earlier, Juliet did not recognize her friend at first. That woman did not resemble the strong, witty, and fierce April she knew. The woman on the bench, with her head in her hands, looked like a frightened schoolgirl, crying during lunch break. When she had approached April, Juliet could tell that April tried her best to compose herself and to not let her see her current emotional state, but the smile she put on simply did not reach anywhere near her eyes. Those piercing blue eyes that always seemed to be sparkling with new ideas or beaming with joy, had looked deeply hurt and full of pain. The sight had shocked Juliet, for she had never seen that kind of expression on April’s face. The April she knew always brought the sun with her, making every place sparkle and shine.
Juliet stopped in her tracks when a thought came to her. Maybe she had just never looked that closely, maybe she had been too caught up in her own chaos, with Romeo, Francois and all her family drama going on, that she had missed it. Suddenly, she could feel the bad conscience pulling and nagging at her and she bit her lip. What kind of friend was she, that she had never even once cared to ask April about her own life, her marriage, or her feelings? The only thing she ever talked about was that damn Romeo guy. “This needs to stop, for good”, she said the words out loud, as if to reassure herself that this was really what she wanted.
But what did she want? Did she really want to marry Frankie? Did she love him? Juliet’s shoulders dropped and she let out a defeated sigh. She had no idea. What did she know about love? Her relationship with Romeo had not even lasted a week, you could not exactly call that experience. The only thing clear to her right now, was that she really needed to talk to May about all the things she was feeling, maybe they had an idea how to face this dilemma.
Continuing her way to find May, Juliet made a mental note to check on April later, to see how she was doing.
When Juliet found May in a quiet room, she was relieved to finally be able to pour her heart out and have someone understand and not judge her for all the feelings she had, and also the lack thereof.
“May, May there you are!”
“Hey girl, what is it?”
May turned to her, their eyes sad and hurt. Juliet, however, did not seem to notice that May wasn’t doing all too well and began to ramble about her own situation.
“So, as you know, Romeo is back, and he said he could forgive me for not drinking the poison and move past that. Can you imagine?! The audacity! Who does he think he is? Like should I be grateful that he wants to take me back? Oh how very kind of him”, she threw her hands in the air, frustrated. “He cannot just suddenly show up, come back from the dead and carry on as if nothing had happened! Also, if anyone should apologize it’s him, for having all those affairs, can you imagine?” Juliet paced up and down, getting even more into her own anger and letting all the built-up emotions out, while May stood there, watching, and contemplating their own feelings.
“- no way I’m getting back with him, not ever!” She finally came to a halt and looked at May.
“May, can I ask you something?”
“Sure dear, spill.” May tried their best at giving Juliet a comforting smile.
“What does love feel like?”
May stared at Juliet, not saying anything for about a minute before they spoke again. “Love feels like finally being warm again after you have been freezing for years. It feels like the first rays of sunshine in spring, after the snow has melted and everything is slowly regaining its colour. It feels like you are being drawn towards that person after being independent and finally allowing someone to slowly break down your walls and see beyond them. Love feels like being seen for who you are and accepted with all the things that make you yourself.” May smiled at their own words and looked at Juliet, unsure of what she would think about this definition.
Juliet felt a warmth in her heart from May’s words and stared back at them, suddenly perceiving the pain in their eyes, realizing that there had to be something going on. “May, I’m sorry. That was really touching, thank you. Please tell me, what’s going on? I’m so sorry I’m only ever talking about myself, please forgive me.”
May closed the space between the two and pulled Juliet into a deep hug.
“It’s alright dear, it has been a lot for you to handle, don’t worry.”
Juliet pulled away, a stern expression on her face.
“No, really. I want to be there for you, the way you are always there for me, so please tell me what’s bothering you.”
May sighed and gestured for them both to sit down. They took Juliet’s hands in their own, and started telling her the whole story about Francois, how they met and what had happened between them. After recapping all the important events and major plot twists, May looked at Juliet in anticipation.
Juliet had had no idea about all the things that had happened while she had been busy throwing herself from one chaos into the next. She pulled May into a deep hug, to try to at least make it up to them a little bit. But Juliet would not be Juliet, if she did not already have another plan, one which included even more chaos for everyone involved.
“Thank you for telling me, I had no idea about all of this. But don’t worry, I have a plan.”
She grinned at May, a mischievous expression all over her face.
“I don’t think I like where this is going, should I be scared?” May raised an eyebrow, starting to worry about what their friend had planned, not trusting Juliet’s abilities to make the right decisions, or really thinking her plans through.
“Oh don’t look at me like that, just trust me! It’s gonna be great and you’re getting the happy ending you deserve, I promise!” She had pushed away all of her own problems for the moment and was beaming with joy at the opportunity to make her best friend happy and to finally be able to give something back for once.
“You’ll see, everything’s going to fall right into place, just wait”, Juliet gave May her kindest smile and squeezed their hand reassuringly. May returned the smile and gave in.
“Alright, alright. I’ll trust you with this, but just this once.”
Juliet jumped up in excitement and clapped her hands, obviously very satisfied with the way her plan seemed to be starting out. “Very well. Now if you excuse me, I have to attend some important businessy stuff”, she tried to put on a very important expression but failed miserably doing so. May burst into laughter, earning a rather disapproving look from Juliet.
May grinned and tried to imitate Juliet’s formal tone and expression: “Well, well. Then I shall no longer keep you from your important businessy stuff. You are dismissed.” They looked at each other and burst into a giggling fit, not being able to stay serious any longer.
Having regained their composure, Juliet wiped away her tears of laughter and gave May one last hug “Everything’s gonna be ok, I love you.”
“Thanks, I really appreciate it. I love you too, Jules.”
—
Full of excitement, Juliet skipped through the large corridors of the old villa they were staying in. When she passed a small courtyard, she slowed down and stepped out into the sun, closing her eyes, and extending her arms to take it all in. She could not remember the last time she felt this happy and content with herself, let alone free. Her decisions had never truly been hers, always predetermined by either her parents or societal standards, the relationship with Romeo being the only thing she had ever truly done by herself and for herself alone, even though that had in fact not quite ended well. Juliet took a deep sigh and opened her eyes, looking around the courtyard for something to sit on while coming up with a plan on how to help May, to regain her control over her life and how to avoid a total disaster. She spied a small stonewall underneath an old tree and sat on it cross-legged.
She already had an idea how to get May and Francois to finally confess their feelings for each other and smiled at the idea, a warm and cosy feeling spreading through her body. It felt comforting and exciting to be the one helping others instead of causing chaos. Yes, she was the one supposed to be marrying Frankie the next day and maybe she was also supposed to look forward to it. Juliet took another deep sigh. Yes, she should be happy that she found another boy willing to marry her so quickly, but here she was, already planning how to get out of the wedding. What even was the point in marrying if she did not love Frankie? She thought about April, she was happily married and seemed to be satisfied with her life. But was she really happy? Once again, Juliet was reminded that she had never once bothered to ask April any of the questions she had. Why had she never taken the time to actually get to know her friend better? If Juliet was being really honest with herself, she had always envied the redhead in some way. She seemed to always know what to do in every situation, always having a solution for every problem and finding the right words for every possible situation.
Juliet looked up to April, she even aspired to be more like her in some ways. She pulled her knees up, hugged them tightly and laid her head on them, wanting to block out everything around her for some moments. April. She would probably know what to do. She’d smile at her, say something witty and thoughtful that made her see everything clearer and make her feel confident. She would know exactly how to handle this situation.
Juliet looked up from her knees and spoke to nobody in particular. “What should I do? If I don’t marry Frankie, my parents will force me to become a nun, but I simply cannot marry Frankie, he’s in love with May.” She looked up at the sun that was about to set, bathing the courtyard in a beautiful, sparkling golden light. “Maybe, I should just take Romeo back. My parents will probably come around eventually. But…Do I want Romeo?” The time they had spent together had felt exciting and adventurous but was she really in love with him? Juliet thought about May’s words. Romeo did not make her feel warm, if anything, he made her feel anxious. And he sure as hell did not feel like a ray of sunshine. She chuckled to herself. No, the things she felt for Romeo would probably not pass May’s definition of love.