Sasuke watches Naruto, as he always does. Him, in all of his brightness and stupidity. The raven haired boy never understood the lengths that the object of his affections would go to for his own fixations. To others, the title “object of his affections” would seem strange, but no one knew better than he that each scolding and off handed comment meant well. Words had never been his strong suit, but everything he ever said to that dear, sunshine colored boy was charged full of emotion. Naruto would never know that.
He figured all the thoughts the rebellious kid of the village would only ever be about would consist of a certain pink haired girl, power and other worthless things. Sasuke knew better than anyone what his worth was. What every single person thought about him. Sakura, as all the other soft hearted girls thought of him as something intangible and yet still in their reach as a possession. The elders saw him as a danger, no matter how pitiable his history made him out to be. And that of course, that one boy he had never been able to get off his mind saw him as competition. It’s just how things ended up for him.
There was never any real hope for him and Naruto. He had spent countless hours running through all the scenarios. He could confess, but then what? Everyone would just ostracize him more and Naruto would start to treat him differently. Sasuke couldn’t have that. He was the only one that had ever been close to understanding the feelings and things he went through. He was the only one that knew what it was like to see everyone else be loved and not have that. In some part of him that made him feel sick and twisted, he thought that maybe that meant they could give that to each other.
He shook his head, trying to clear himself of his thoughts. He felt eyes on him, and turned. Instantly, his stomach dropped. Sasuke had never been very lucky, but it just felt more evident when he realized the eyes he felt belonged to the subject of his imagination. Those damned blue eyes that pierced right through him every time without even knowing the damage they caused made him feel nauseous yet euphoric all at once. He looked away, knowing that the boy he loved was still looking at him.
For all the wrong reasons, of course. Naruto wasn’t looking at Sasuke out of love, but out of jealousy. Sasuke knew that very well and it only killed him each time. Just a little. Enough to wound but not enough to make the feelings stop. If anything, he thought, it made them stronger. Maybe he was destined to crave what he can never have, he mused. Perhaps he did take after his brother and his desire to take what was never his to begin with. Sasuke remembered how his sunshine boy looked training outside, the breeze tussling those soft spikes and the clothes he’d never be able to really touch. All a reminder of what he couldn’t have.
As Sasuke’s mind wandered, he realized that other students were clearing out of the room, causing him to snap out of his daydreams. He followed them in their rush to abandon studies; still absorbed in what could be in another universe. Maybe he would’ve stayed in a body that Naruto could’ve wanted; maybe in another they would’ve grown up together in a way that was natural. Eventually, he came to the conclusion it wouldn’t have mattered, because Naruto was always meant for greater things. Anyone with half a mind could tell.
Naive and dim as he was, that soft hearted and yellow haired boy was adaptable and a quick thinker. Something that amazed Sasuke every time Naruto found a way around the rules, though he would never say anything about it.