This isn't the first time she’s seen this woman.
This woman had become her own inseparable shadow.
No matter how many times this woman runs her through with her blade, she always comes back.
She can neither lose to this woman, nor truly win.
Though she wants to run away, there is nowhere to run.
--
She wakes up again. She’s not keeping count of how many times she’s been stabbed to death, but she’s sure that that woman must be. She seems to be amused from all this. She can’t help but be baffled by it, and that’s the least of her strangeness. She claims to know her. She calls her Yunli. She doesn’t believe her in the sightest, but she goes along with it. She claims she used to use the sword. It must be true, the grip of the sword’s hilt feels familiar. As she “teaches” her how to use her sword, it always feels like deja vu, but far too late.
The light burns her eyes. She quickly closes them again, as she sits up. He chest feels both hallow and full. It still reeks of blood. Still, she stands. It seems that woman has long gone. Not to worry. She never leaves without saying goodbye. Despite how she claims to disdain her, it is far more quiet without her. She doesn’t even recall where she is. She’s been told she’s on a Xianzhou ship. She took her word for it.
“Yunli!” She’s back. She’s carrying skewers. Yunli didn’t even ask her for any. “I’ve brought skewers! Took me a while since I ran into a couple problems, but I’m fine.” Yeah, she can tell. The woman’s clothes were stained with blood, despite her evident attempts to clean herself before she came here. She smiles at Yunli, and hands her a skewer. Yunli took it.
As she ate, the woman laughed. Yunli looked at her with slight confusion. She smiled. “Even with everything that’s happened, you still like these things.” Yunli’s eyes feigned disinterest. She looked away from the other, who only seemed more amused. In her peripheral vision, she could see the woman was trying to hand her another one. She took it without hesitation and without looking at her. She laughed again, not minding her food being snatched from her.
“Want to go again?” She asks Yunli. Yunli shakes her head, taking another bite out of the skewer. She leans against her shoulder, much to Yunli’s dismay. If she wants to sleep, she should be on the ground. She’s staring ahead, not at her. She doesn’t meet her eyes either. “I’m sorry, I haven’t even told you my name, have I?” She sighs. “I keep forgetting you don’t..” She trails off.
“Yanqing. My name is Yanqing.” She paused, as if waiting for a reaction from Yunli. When there was none, Yanqing continued. “I’m the Sword Champion of the Luofu. Though, I doubt I still hold the title by now. They must’ve made my name an illegal word, hah..” Yunli gave her a confused glance. Why was her name being banned funny? She’s far too strange for Yunli’s taste. Yanqing glanced at her, smiling. “Don’t think about it for too long. I doubt you’d be let back in either.”
“Why’s that..?” Yunli’s interest has been piqued, but alas, Yanqing waves it away.
“It’s a long story.” Yanqing muttered. She shifted slightly, frowning, shaking her head. “One that’s not worth telling. Especially by me.” It was so strange. As if Yunli’s single question had stirred up countless memories she’d rather forget. What were those memories? Were they happy, warm? Were they so terrible that it caused pain just to acknowledge them? Or were they bittersweet, loving and bright, but horribly cold once you were left with reality?
Yunli scoffed. “Everytime I ask anything of my past, how you know me, you shut down.” She glanced to the other, who seemed to be staring off into space. She nudged her, getting her attention. “I’m alright to listen. We can head out later too if that’d help with your…” She trailed off, “Your condition. And mine.”
Yanqing looked at her, then down at the floor. “Mm. I can try.” She sighed, shifting her eyes up to the sky. “It all started.. Aeons I don’t remember how long ago. At least 200 years before now, during the Stellar Martial Competition. You see…”
--
Yanqing had been waiting for this day for as long as she could remember. She’s had the skills for a long while now, but now she’s also had enough time for this. The Stellar Martial Competition was normally spectated only by the residents of that Xianzhou ship, but Yanqing had been keen to invite a swordswoman from another Xianzhou ship to come spectate her fights. She was one of her closest friends, so it’d be a shame if she didn’t watch her easily win the whole competition.
And she did. Despite how obvious her victory was, it wasn’t like there wasn’t a celebration. All her friends were there. It was then that Yanqing decided to form a group from her closest friends. It consisted of her, a healer vidyadhara, a foxian judge from the Ten Lord’s commission, and her friend from the Zhuming who was not only great at using the sword, but also forging them. They’d consistently meet and assist each other with duties and personal issues. Originally, Yanqing wanted her cloud knight friend to join, but she declined due to a recent loss.
Since the Denizens were rearing their ugly heads again, Yanqing’s group took it upon themselves to help with the fighting. After a battle, the group was completed when Yanqing asked the Master Diviner of the Luofu to assist them, and later on join the group. Although their achievements were never near the level of a group from the past, they were still respectable. Or at least Yanqing thought they were.
But it’s not like this peace could last forever. The General of the Luofu had gotten marastruck, and this caused Yanqing to become distraught. Given that the General still had the Lightning Lord obeying his command, it would take more than just one person to deal with him. So Yanqing’s group was selected. But Yanqing couldn’t bear the thought of trying to fight the man who raised her.
--
“He raised you?” Yunli commented. She broke eye contact with her, furrowing her brows. She knew of someone that Yanqing would refer to as ‘General’ before correcting herself. She didn’t know him, however.. “Is he that man that visits?”
Yanqing didn’t respond at first, before nodding. “Yes.”
“You’re his daughter then?”
Yanqing opened her mouth to respond, but it was as if mid sentence she choked on air. For a moment she just sat there, staring blankly ahead. Her hands had moved to her thighs, now gripping them like she was trying to hurt herself. Yanqing closed her mouth, lessened her grip, and sighed. “Sure. Let’s go with that. I don’t know if he’d ever call me such a thing, but I think ‘father’ is the closest word I can find to describe how I feel about him.”
“Mm.” Yunli didn’t know what to say in response to that. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, lot’s of people assume that.” It didn’t seem like Yanqing actually accepted the apology. Not that she blamed her. After a moment, she lightened up a bit. “Back to the story, I was way too saddened to agree to fight when…”
--
The Diviner had to remind Yanqing of the lives at stake, and the lives already lost, for her to regain the will to fight. Even after doing so, Yanqing’s fighting was sloppy and slow. To her, this was still her father, and she tried desperately to treat it like it was just another spar. It was only after the marastruck attempted to behead her that Yanqing recognized that she was no longer fighting her father.
Still, one too many mistakes had been made. The judge had near exhausted herself, to which the marastruck took the opportunity to slay her. Despite the healer’s attempts to bring her back, it was pointless. Yanqing had to finish the battle as fast as she could, to which she did. She also oversaw his sealing, as they couldn’t kill the General yet. He still had the Lighting Lord meant for the next General of the Luofu.
Who it would be was undecided. Yanqing was asked, but turned it down. The Diviner volunteered herself, and seemed like the best candidate. A public and private funeral was held for the Judge. It was clear no one was taking it well, especially Yanqing. Even after 6 months, nothing had changed at all. Her depressive slump was going on for far longer than anyone could have expected.
The swordswoman, her betrothed recognized this. Hurting herself, she requested the healer to assist her in reviving the Judge. Although hesitant, after thinking it over she agreed to it. While the healer retrieved the body, the swordswoman slayed all the marastruck she could find, to the point that the mara too crept upon her. Still, she continued until she had enough flesh to suffice for the revival. Although they were precise, what the two had created was an abomination, a monster that surely wasn’t their friend.
Of course, it fell upon Yanqing to again take care of it. Overcome with grief, she too became marastruck. Her only goal was to find her wife, she destroyed anything and everyone until she could locate her. At this point, the swordswoman was already unconscious. Knowing that she’d most likely be hunted down for her crimes, Yanqing took the swordswoman and left for the Shackling Prison, where she freed Jing Yuan before the Diviner could be instated as the General of the Luofu.
--
“That’s as much as I know.” Yanqing finished. “Well- I do know a few other things. For now, Dan Heng, who was.. Technically the previous High Elder not really because his previous incarnation tried to revive someone else too, like it was a WHOLE thing, I have no clue why you two-” She paused, glancing at Yunli. Continuing, she cleared her throat, “Anyways, he’s the High Elder while the molten rebirthing happens.”
Yunli stared at the other, frowning slightly. “You mean to tell me, I have to go through all sorts of physical and mental agony, while she gets to just.. Reincarnate?” She waited for Yanqing’s response, which was a small shrug. “That.. That’s incredibly unfair, no? She should also…” Yunli trailed off, but it was quite clear to the both of them what she was implying.
“Well.. Yeah, kinda true, she’s getting tortured right now so maybe uh..” Yanqing was trying her best to defuse the situation. “Maybe.. Lay off until she’s out? If she’s out, sorry. Probably never going to happen, like ever.” She said it with such pride, as if she had just negotiated between two nations about to go to war. Yunli looked at her, mostly unimpressed with her words.
Yunli sighed, “Maybe. Torture is enough punishment for her. So long as she remains there I suppose I don’t have issue, and you…” She glanced to Yanqing, who was now smiling at her like a cat. Yunli stared in mild confusion for a moment, before continuing, “You’re on the fence about this?”
“Well, considering I knew the both of you it’s difficult to say whether I want you to rot for eternity, although..” Yanqing chuckled, “Well, If you think about it, both me and you are rotting right now.” She smiled at her again, much softer than the cat smile. As if she was looking at the most beautiful woman in the universe. “Rotting together. Romantic rig-” She immediately got shoved away by Yunli. “Hey! Joke, I was joking!”
Yunli didn’t respond, just looked away. Yanqing crawled up next to her, “Yunli.. I was joking…” She pulled on the other’s clothes playfully, looking up at her with pleading eyes. She didn’t return the gaze. “Please.. You’re going to make me sad for the whole day~! And when we go out it won’t help at all because you’d have made me so sad that I.. I dunno. I skip out on it and it solves nothing!” She was horrible at coming up with excuses. Surely it takes more skill to be as poor as her when it came to this than to be good at it.
“Right, I said we’d go out..” Yunli sighed, “Get up, let’s go.” Yanqing beamed with excitement, standing up and helping the other up as well, although she most certainly didn’t need help. While they went to the spot that Yanqing liked to frequent, Yunli stopped her for a moment. Meeting the other’s confused gaze, she paused before asking her question. “Yanqing I…”
“After all of that, can you truly believe that I am the same person?”