I hope you're proud of me, Dad
Kakashi stood motionless in front of the arena, his eyes fixed on the gate as he patiently waited for Minato, who was still engrossed in a conversation with the Hokage. Minato had asked him to wait, so Kakashi had withdrawn to a spot a bit off to the side. With crossed arms, he watched the other participants and their senseis leave the grounds in silence, not giving him so much as a glance. It wasn’t until the Hyuuga exited the building that a disapproving look pierced through Kakashi. Uneasy, he turned his head away, his fingers gripping the oversized Chunin vest in his hands, which suddenly felt much heavier.
He should have been bursting with pride – he had achieved his goal, passed the exam, and was now the youngest Chunin. But instead of joy, all he felt was a crushing disappointment. He hadn’t managed to convince the others. Even when the Hokage solemnly announced that Kakashi had passed and handed him the vest, the crowd remained silent. No applause, just skeptical looks digging into him. He forced himself to hide the pain, keeping his expression inscrutable. Minato stood by his side, quietly assuring him that he had performed brilliantly and truly earned this honor – but those words barely reached his heart.
The doubts wouldn’t let go of him, nor would the disappointment of having failed to reach his real goal. Kakashi had hoped to convince the village of his abilities, secretly wishing that, by doing so, everything would go back to how it used to be – that his father could finally be happy again. But as he looked up to the spectators after winning his fight, the recognition he longed for wasn’t there. No cheers, no proud applause – just silent faces. With each passing second, the hope he had placed in that moment faded.
But there was a glimmer of light that Kakashi clung to. Minato had shown him, without a doubt, how proud he was, and even the Hokage had acknowledged his performance, praising his skillful fighting style. This recognition meant more to him than he was willing to admit. Most of all, he was excited to finally go home and tell his father everything. The thought of opening the door and sharing the news made his heart race. He could hardly wait – he wanted to set off right that moment.
Kakashi was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps behind him. Instinctively, he lifted his head and saw Minato approaching with his familiar, reassuring smile. "Are you okay?" the blonde asked as he stopped in front of Kakashi. Without hesitation, Kakashi nodded and looked at Minato expectantly. He still didn’t understand why his sensei had asked him to wait here. Then Minato crouched down in front of him, his eyes piercing yet caring. "Are you in pain? Should we go to the hospital?" he asked softly.
Kakashi noticed the concern in Minato's eyes and quickly shook his head. "I'm fine, it just hurts a little, but nothing serious," he assured him. It wasn’t a lie – after the fight, the pain had been more intense, and he had felt every punch and kick. But by now, it had subsided. There would be some bruises, but Kakashi was used to far worse injuries.
Minato stood up with a satisfied smile. "Good, but if anything feels off, don’t hesitate to let me know, okay?" His voice was warm but firm.
"I promise," Kakashi replied resolutely, tilting his head slightly as he looked at Minato curiously. "But why exactly did you want me to wait for you?"
Minato gave him a playful smile. "I have a little surprise for you – a gift to celebrate passing your exam."
Kakashi raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "A surprise? What is it?"
Minato shrugged, the broad grin never leaving his face. "Be a little patient," he said calmly and gestured for Kakashi to follow him. "Come with me!" Kakashi hesitated for a moment, glancing at the street that led home. He was eager to go back as quickly as possible and tell his father everything. Minato seemed to notice his hesitation. "What’s wrong?" he asked with concern.
Kakashi gave Minato a brief look, a faint sense of guilt welling up inside him. His sensei had obviously gone to the trouble of preparing something special for him. "It’s just…" He hesitated, searching for the right words before continuing, "I just wanted to go home and tell my dad." His voice was quiet as he looked away, as if hoping to hide his disappointment.
Minato placed a hand on Kakashi's head, and Kakashi looked up at him from beneath his hitai-ate. "It won't take long, I promise," Minato said in his usual calm voice. "But I want to do something nice for you – and besides, someone is waiting for us." A gentle smile played on his lips as he added, "Your father isn’t going anywhere, after all."
"Someone's waiting for us?" Kakashi frowned, trying to figure out who it could be. Who would want to see him? Suddenly, an idea came to him – there was really only one person who might be interested. "Are we meeting with Kushina?" he asked cautiously, looking at Minato expectantly.
Minato chuckled softly and ruffled Kakashi's hair, making it even messier. "Wait and see; you'll find out soon," he said with a grin. "Come on, let's get going."
Kakashi nodded and followed Minato, who had already started walking. It wouldn’t hurt to go along. Minato was right – his father would be at home later, and then he could tell him everything in peace. Besides, if he was honest with himself, he was actually looking forward to seeing Kushina again. He hadn’t seen her in a while because of the intense preparations for the Chunin Exams.
Kakashi walked silently next to Minato, his thoughts drifting. Even though he tried not to dwell too much on the exam, he still felt the disappointment gnawing at him over the audience's reaction. Just as he was trying to focus on the rest of the day, another thought forced its way into his mind: What had Minato been discussing with the Hokage? The question wouldn't leave him, and he tried to push down the unease he felt.
Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered him, but now a new fear crept into his mind, something he hadn’t considered until that moment. What would become of his team with Minato now? After all, he was a Chunin now – did that mean Minato would no longer be his sensei? The thought caused a faint sadness to spread within him, one he couldn’t fully suppress.
Kakashi desperately wanted to remain part of Minato's team. Even though he'd never openly admit it, he worried about how other teams might react to him. Right now, Minato was the only one he truly trusted, the only person around whom he felt comfortable. Moreover, Minato wasn’t just his sensei but also his friend, and Kakashi enjoyed the time they spent together. For a moment, he thought about how to bring up the subject. Finally, he gathered all his courage and decided to ask.
"Minato-sensei? Can I ask you something?" Kakashi's voice was quiet, almost hesitant, and he avoided looking at Minato.
Minato cast a quick glance at his student, a hint of concern in his eyes. "Of course, Kakashi. What's on your mind?"
Kakashi swallowed, shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and tried to sound as casual as possible. "What did you talk about with the Hokage?" he asked, still not looking at Minato.
Minato raised an eyebrow in surprise and studied Kakashi for a moment before responding. "Since when are you so curious?" he replied with a teasing tone, before his expression turned serious again. "It was about your future," he finally explained.
Kakashi tried to hide the involuntary shiver that ran through his body. He stopped walking and looked directly at Minato. "Will we still be a team?"
Minato smiled gently and nodded reassuringly. "You’ll stay with me for now and continue to gain experience. It’s possible that you or we might go on missions with other teams occasionally, but for the most part, we'll remain a team." He added calmly, "I hope that's alright with you."
A joyful smile spread across Kakashi's face, and he nodded eagerly. "Of course!" he said with enthusiasm. Minato nodded with satisfaction, and they continued on their way. A heavy weight lifted from Kakashi's heart, and he felt a deep sense of relief.
Before long, Kushina came into view. As soon as she spotted them, she immediately approached, a bright grin on her lips. Once she reached Kakashi, she crouched down to his level and looked directly at him. "Congratulations on passing the exam!" she said cheerfully, pointing to the Chunin vest Kakashi was holding in his hands.
Kakashi smiled softly. "Thank you!"
Kushina gently ruffled his hair before standing up again. "I always knew you could do it. Now you have to tell me everything."
Kakashi raised his eyebrows in surprise; he hadn’t expected Kushina to be so interested in him. Minato placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and Kakashi immediately looked up at him. "We decided to invite you out for a meal," Minato said with a warm smile. "Just like the first time we all went out together."
Kushina nodded in agreement. "We thought it would be a nice idea," she said with a smile. "And we hope you’ll enjoy it."
Kakashi nodded; he really liked the idea. It had been a long time since the three of them had spent time together. So much had happened over the past months, and he had missed the time spent with Minato and Kushina. He was looking forward to being carefree again and enjoying their company.
Kushina clapped her hands in delight. "Perfect! Then let's get going. I want to hear everything about the exam – every detail!" she said excitedly, giving Kakashi a light nudge. Together, they set off.
As they made their way, Kakashi began telling Kushina everything about the exam. He enjoyed having such an attentive listener by his side and found comfort in the process, gradually forgetting his disappointment about the audience's reaction. With every detail he shared, his excitement grew about spending this time together and about soon returning home to tell his father everything. Kakashi could hardly wait to see his father’s reaction and hoped to make him proud.
—---------
Time flew by, and Kakashi enjoyed finally spending time with them again. He completely lost track of time, and it wasn't until dusk set in that he realized how late it had gotten. They quickly paid and left the restaurant. Out on the street, Kakashi turned to Minato and Kushina, bowed slightly, and said gratefully, "Thank you for the invitation!" With a light smile, he straightened up again. "But I really need to get home now."
Minato smiled at Kakashi. "It was our pleasure," he replied, but then his expression grew more serious. "Should I walk you home? It's quite late, and it's starting to get dark."
Kakashi shook his head. "That's not necessary, Minato-sensei. It’s really just a short walk."
Minato hesitated for a moment before finally nodding. "Alright," he said. "See you tomorrow, Kakashi. We'll meet at the training ground at the usual time."
"Got it, Minato-sensei. See you tomorrow," Kakashi replied and then turned to Kushina. "See you next time, Kushina!"
Kushina gave him a warm smile. "Take care of yourself, Kakashi!"
Kakashi waved goodbye to them, turned around, and headed off. He chose the quickest route home, even if that meant walking through the busy village. As he made his way down the streets, he could feel the eyes of the villagers on him. But he ignored them and continued on his path, determined to get home as quickly as possible to tell his father everything.
Kakashi soon reached his home and ran excitedly through the front yard to the door. Without hesitation, he opened it and called into the house, "I'm back!" After closing the door behind him, he quickly took off his sandals and pushed them aside with his foot. He could put them away properly later—right now, he just wanted to tell his father everything. Still holding the Chunin vest tightly in his arms, he hurried down the hallway. "Dad?!" he called again, but the only answer was silence.
Suddenly, Kakashi stopped, clutching the vest tighter. An uncomfortable chill washed over him as the oppressive silence of the house weighed on him. Instinctively, he felt that something was wrong—and ever since he was a child, his father had taught him to trust this instinct. But he couldn't quite grasp what was making him so uneasy. His gaze wandered through the darkness of the house, and with each passing moment, his fear grew. Goosebumps spread across his body, and he began to tremble slightly. Kakashi stood frozen, unable to take another step into the stifling silence of the house.
"Dad?" This time, his voice was barely more than a whisper, shaky and uncertain, as he stood motionless in the hallway, his gaze fixed straight ahead. Kakashi couldn't understand what was going on. His hands clenched into fists so tightly that it hurt. An inexplicable panic welled up inside him, but he couldn’t move—trapped in the sudden, unexplainable fear that filled the house.
Kakashi quickly closed his eyes and tried to calm the panic rising inside him. He reminded himself how important it was to always keep a clear head. His thoughts raced as he tried to steady them, convincing himself that everything was fine. Determined, he opened his eyes, forced his body to relax, and took a deep breath to calm himself. He swallowed hard before slowly moving forward. "Dad! It's me!" he called again, this time with a bit more strength in his voice.
Kakashi looked at the closed door of his father's study. Perhaps his father was sleeping there and didn't want to be disturbed. In recent weeks, that closed door had always been a clear sign that his father needed some peace. But Kakashi was eager to tell him everything about the exam, and his father had said he would wait for him. Maybe he hadn't noticed that Kakashi was back yet.
Determined, Kakashi stepped up to the door of the study and reached out his hand. For a moment, he paused, letting the oppressive silence of the house wash over him, before gently knocking on the door. "Dad, are you there?" he asked, but there was no response. The suffocating stillness around him seemed to grow even thicker. Kakashi took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and reached for the door handle. "I'm coming in now!" he called out firmly and pushed the handle down, opening the door just a crack.
As the door cracked open, a sharp, acrid smell wafted out, freezing Kakashi in his tracks. His heart began to pound wildly, and his eyes widened in shock. The familiar, revolting scent made him recoil instinctively, and a wave of nausea surged within him. He fought against it, but the realization gnawed at him, making his grim foreboding even stronger. This couldn’t be… It simply couldn’t be. Kakashi took a few unsteady steps backward, as if trying to escape the horrible truth that lurked behind the door.
He had to muster all his strength to move back toward the door. His hand trembled as he hesitantly placed it back on the handle, paralyzed with fear of what awaited him. For a moment, it seemed as though he couldn't push the door open any further—as if not knowing could somehow keep the cruel reality at bay. But he knew there was no turning back. A lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed hard to suppress the rising nausea.
Taking a deep breath, he slowly pushed the door further open and stood frozen in the doorway. His eyes scanned the dimly lit room until they finally fell upon a motionless figure on the floor. The horrifying truth hit him with full force.
With great effort, Kakashi took a hesitant step into the room. It felt as if his legs were made of lead, every movement a struggle. The trembling in his body intensified, and he had the unsettling feeling that his legs might give out at any moment. His breathing came in gasps, and it took all his strength to keep moving forward. Every fiber of his being screamed to stop, to run away, but something inside him forced him to face the grim reality.
Kakashi’s breath grew shallow as he took shaky steps toward the lifeless figure. Each step felt like trudging through thick mud, his thoughts swirling like a dark fog that choked the air from his lungs. The pounding of his heart thundered in his ears, drowning out the heavy silence in the room.
Finally, he stood before the figure. His gaze traveled incredulously over the lifeless body of his father. The eyes were half-closed, the expression on his face eerily peaceful—as if he had simply fallen asleep. But the sight before him, and the smell that filled his nostrils, told him otherwise.
Sakumo lay curled on the floor, as if in a fetal position, surrounded by a large pool of blood. The tanto, once a symbol of his strength and honor, was plunged deep into his abdomen, the hilt still weakly clutched by his blood-stained fingers.
Kakashi’s legs gave out, and he collapsed to his knees, unmindful of the blood. The Chunin vest slipped from his hands and fell silently to the ground. A paralyzing cold spread through his body as the bitter reality hit him. He had lost his father—nothing could have prepared him for this.
Kakashi stared in disbelief at his father's lifeless body. His mind struggled desperately to block out the horrific scene before him, but the reality pushed its way into him, relentless and unforgiving. Time seemed to stand still, and the drumming in his ears drowned out every other sound. He felt his throat tighten, and his breathing became shallow and erratic.
With trembling hands, he reached for the tanto, wanting to pull it out, but he hesitated. Tears burned in his eyes, but he fought them back, battling the overwhelming sense of helplessness. He wanted to shake his father, to call out to him, to bring him back—but deep down, he knew it was too late.
"Dad..." he whispered softly, his voice barely more than a breath. The pain that tore through his chest was almost unbearable. The proud hero of the village, his father, the man he had admired so much, now lay broken and alone before him.
Kakashi paid no mind as his own clothes absorbed his father's blood. His breath caught as he slowly reached out his trembling hand to touch his father's. "Dad?" he whispered, barely audible, his voice almost breaking under the weight of the situation. His fingers settled on Sakumo's cold, lifeless hand.
The moment he felt the icy coldness, he flinched back instinctively, as if he’d been stung. His heart pounded in his chest, and the tears he had fought so desperately to hold back now burned in his eyes. But he couldn't tear his gaze away from his father's motionless body.
For another moment, Kakashi remained kneeling on the ground, unable to accept the reality. He shook his head in disbelief, a desperate thought rising within him: This couldn't be true. His father wouldn’t just leave him like this. No, this had to be a genjutsu.
With trembling fingers, Kakashi formed the familiar hand sign, his eyes fixed firmly on his father's lifeless body. "Kai!" he called out resolutely, hoping to shatter the cruel illusion. But nothing happened. The terrible scene remained unchanged, his father's lifeless body lying there, still and unaltered.
Kakashi held the hand sign unwaveringly, even though his hand shook uncontrollably. "Kai!" he shouted again, his voice quivering with tension, but the reality before him stayed unbroken.
He took a deep breath and tried once more, this time with a louder, firmer voice. "Kai!" he repeated with all his strength, but the room remained as frozen as before. Desperation etched itself across Kakashi's face as he finally let his hand fall.
After another moment of despair, another possibility to break a potential genjutsu came to Kakashi's mind. With trembling hands, he reached into his weapon pouch and pulled out a kunai. For a brief moment, he hesitated, then he stabbed himself in the hand, hoping that the pain would shatter the illusion.
Warm blood dripped onto the floor, mingling with his father's. As the sharp pain coursed through his body, Kakashi painfully realized that this was no illusion. The cruel reality spread out before him, leaving him in a state of deep helplessness.
Tears flowed relentlessly down Kakashi's cheeks, finally soaking his mask. The kunai slipped from his hand with a clatter and fell to the ground. With a shaky breath, Kakashi tore off his mask and let out a heart-wrenching sob. The bitter truth struck him like a blow: his father had left him.
Kakashi could no longer hold back his tears. He bent over his father's lifeless body and buried his face in the sweater. His hands clung desperately to the fabric, while his tears flowed incessantly. The sobbing sound that filled the room was steeped in deep despair. Time seemed to stand still as the immense pain enveloped him like a dark cloud. In this moment, Kakashi felt infinitely alone.
"Why, Dad?" Kakashi murmured through his sobs, pressing his face deeper into his father's sweater. "I… I still need you." After another moment of despair, he added softly, "I… I passed. I hope you're proud of me, Dad." The words came out broken and painful, as his heart was engulfed by a deep sadness.