First steps
Kakashi slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times to clear his vision. He was curled up on his bed, still groggy as he propped himself up with his hands and sat up. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes and looked around the room with tired eyes, trying to recall when he had gone to bed. The last thing he remembered was sitting on the floor in front of his bed.
Swinging his legs out of bed, Kakashi still felt strange that his feet didn't reach the ground. Before falling asleep, he had sent Pakkun away again. He couldn't risk his father running into him. After that, he seemed to have drifted off. It was probably due to chakra exhaustion. His gaze drifted out the window. It was already noon. Apparently, he had slept for a few hours. His father must have returned and put him to bed again.
Carefully, he slid off the bed, his bare feet landing on the fluffy carpet. He enjoyed the soft surface under his soles. Once again, he let his gaze roam around his room before slowly making his way to his desk. Upon reaching it, he tapped his fingers on the dark wood. His eyes rested on the desk, which was as neatly organized as always, just like his entire room. Kakashi had always placed great importance on order, a trait he undoubtedly inherited from his father.
His gaze wandered over the playful children's drawings proudly displayed on the walls. He barely remembered drawing them when he was maybe two or three years old, and how his father insisted on hanging them up. When he finally went to the academy, he was sure he wanted to take them down, but his father insisted they stay. Despite his limited time, his father always made an effort to give him a carefree childhood. But Kakashi was no ordinary child – he was a prodigy, more mature and serious than most his age. It was normal for him, and he never questioned it.
A sigh escaped him as he pondered whether he could change that. But he knew it wouldn't be easy. Even though his body was young again, his mind remained unchanged. Kakashi realized he was given a second chance to change everything for the better, but a second chance to experience his childhood wouldn't be granted to him. His new responsibility was too significant to be distracted from.
Kakashi walked to the door, opening it noiselessly and peering into the hallway. For a moment, the house seemed quiet, with no sign of anyone else's presence. With cautious steps, he ventured into the hallway and glanced in the opposite direction. The door leading to the back part of their garden was open, so Kakashi decided to head there, making no sound to avoid disturbing his father. Carefully suppressing his chakra to avoid detection, he made his way.
Reaching the door, Kakashi leaned casually against the doorframe, his gaze sweeping over the garden. There he saw Sakumo, practicing his katas with the tanto – the same tanto that had been broken during the Kannabi Bridge mission. Kakashi fervently hoped he wouldn't inherit it anytime soon, and that it would remain in his father's possession for a long time. Sakumo had his back to him and seemed unaware of his presence. As a child, Kakashi would never have been able to suppress his chakra so carefully – his father was simply too skilled for that.
Kakashi remembered watching his father's training with admiration. Sakumo's movements were marked by impressive elegance and fluidity, showcasing his strength and skill. He was undoubtedly a master in handling his tanto. Even now, with a more experienced eye, admiration reflected in Kakashi's eyes. Sakumo mastered his tanto like no other, and Kakashi could never match his skills in tanto wielding, despite his hard training. His strengths lay elsewhere.
For a moment, Kakashi observed his father before deciding to reveal his presence by releasing his chakra. Sakumo immediately stopped when he felt Kakashi's presence behind him and turned around with a warm smile. "Did you sleep well?" he asked gently, sheathing his tanto carefully on his back. Then he approached Kakashi, who was still standing by the door, and crouched down in front of him.
Kakashi nodded to his father. "I did." Then he tilted his head and asked his father curiously, "Did you put me to bed? Honestly, I can't remember putting myself to bed."
Sakumo gently brushed some of Kakashi's messy hair away from his face, which now hung wild without his hitai-ate. "Yes, I did, after I found you," he remarked with a slight sternness in his voice. "Didn't I tell you to rest on the couch?"
"Yes, but I thought the bed would be fine too," Kakashi lied, looking his father directly in the eyes, a hint of mischief in his gaze.
Sakumo smiled warmly and gently wrapped a hand around Kakashi's upper arm. "That would've been it if you had also laid down in bed. But instead, I found you on the floor - not the most comfortable place for a nap," Sakumo explained lovingly, gently stroking Kakashi's arm.
Kakashi couldn't disagree; it wasn't his plan to sleep on the floor either. He shrugged. "The carpet is surprisingly cozy too," he remarked with a slight smile.
Sakumo shook his head affectionately and released his hands gently from Kakashi's. "What do you plan to do now?" he asked curiously, rising from his crouch.
Kakashi looked up at his father and smiled faintly. "May I watch you train?" He was sure his father wouldn't mind. There was nothing wrong with Kakashi settling down on the veranda and watching his father.
"Of course, there's nothing against that," Sakumo replied with a warm smile, running his hand through Kakashi's hair once more before returning to the garden. Kakashi made his way to the veranda and sat down on the steps. Perhaps this would give him the opportunity to ask Sakumo if he had ever aborted a mission.
With an attentive gaze, Kakashi watched his father's further training and enjoyed the familiar atmosphere. It was a scene he was very familiar with - he used to watch his father train regularly and tried to learn as much as possible from him. At every opportunity, he had trained with his father because his greatest wish was to follow in his footsteps. But in hindsight, he wondered if he had ever been as successful as his father.
His father was not only an outstanding shinobi because of his skills and strength but also because of his human approach. For him, every individual's life was invaluable, and he defied the rules when it came to saving lives. Sakumo was a man of unwavering justice who did not judge anyone and gave everyone a chance. His people skills were remarkable, as evidenced by Guy's example. Early on, Sakumo had predicted that Guy might one day be stronger than Kakashi - and he was right. Guy had proven his extraordinary abilities in the fight against Madara.
As he continued to observe the training, Kakashi wondered if his father had ever refused a mission. He simply couldn't think of a reason why Sakumo would refuse a mission. He was loyal to his village and didn't shy away from challenges. Although it was very unlikely, Kakashi didn't want to give up hope.
Sakumo finished his exercise, sheathed his tanto, and approached Kakashi with a broad smile. As he sat down beside him, he looked at him expectantly. "So, how was I?" he asked, playfully nudging Kakashi with his shoulder.
"At the end, during the last movement, it was a bit sloppy. You were a bit too frantic," Kakashi replied teasingly, grinning at his father. But his grin quickly faded from Kakashi's face when he saw Sakumo's shocked expression. He realized he had been too honest. At that age, he would never have noticed such a minor thing. It was just a slight uncertainty in the final movement because his father had ended it too quickly.
Sakumo blinked a few times before finding his words again. "You really noticed that? I'm impressed," he said, a touch of pride shining in his eyes, though overshadowed by his astonishment.
Kakashi scratched the back of his head and chuckled slightly. "It was probably just luck," he replied shortly, without elaborating further. He decided to quickly change the subject. "Hey Dad, can I ask you a question?" With a smile, Sakumo nodded and looked at Kakashi eagerly. "Have you ever refused a mission?" he asked with a curious voice, tilting his head slightly.
Sakumo looked at Kakashi for a moment, then let his gaze wander into the distance, pondering the question. "Whether I've ever declined a mission?" he murmured thoughtfully, crossing his arms over his chest. "I can't remember ever..." Sakumo paused briefly, and for a moment, Kakashi's hope wavered. But then he immediately became attentive as Sakumo continued. "Actually, yes, I did refuse a mission once."
Kakashi immediately straightened up and looked at his father eagerly. "Why did you refuse it?" he asked with great interest in his voice.
Sakumo turned his gaze lovingly to Kakashi and tapped his finger on his chest. "Because of you!" he explained warmly.
Kakashi's eyes widened briefly. His father had refused a mission because of him? "Because of me?" Kakashi whispered incredulously. "Why?"
Sakumo leaned back slightly and let his gaze wander back into the garden. "Yes, because of you," he confirmed. "Back then, you must have been nine or maybe ten months old. You got sick overnight and had a pretty high fever. In the morning, the Hokage wanted to talk to me about a mission. I declined it at the time because I didn't want to leave you alone. Sure, you had good babysitters, and they would have taken good care of you. But I quickly realized how bad you were feeling, and it was confirmed when you had to go to the hospital. I would never have left you alone back then, and I wouldn't do it today either. No matter how important the mission is, you are the most important thing to me," Sakumo explained lovingly.
Kakashi looked at his father, feeling warmth rising in his chest. He quickly averted his gaze; he suddenly realized how much his father loved him. The only time he had ever declined a mission was for him, for Kakashi.
He felt Sakumo turning back to him. "How did you come up with the question anyway?" he asked visibly curious.
Kakashi looked back at his father and quickly tried to come up with an explanation. "I... uh... Minato-sensei told me during our last training that he had once declined a mission. That just made me curious if you had ever declined one too," he explained, trying to sound as honest as possible.
Sakumo seemed satisfied; he nodded with a smile and let his gaze wander back into the garden. The sun was high in the sky, the temperatures were pleasant, and a gentle breeze swept through the garden. It was a perfect summer day, and Kakashi began to enjoy the silence on the veranda to the fullest. Moments like these had been too rare, and Kakashi was grateful to experience one now.
As they silently enjoyed the beautiful weather, Kakashi went through everything in his mind again. Sakumo had declined a mission because of him, so there was a way to get his father to decline a mission again. But for Kakashi, there was a big problem: how could he get sick so quickly? It was unrealistic to assume that he would get sick in the next few days. It probably wouldn't be enough to just pretend to have a stomachache. Kakashi had been so sick back then that he had to go to the hospital. If he hadn't been so ill, his father would probably have accepted the mission.
Perhaps a training accident would suffice, but even then, Kakashi couldn't see a way to recreate a similar situation. A broken arm or a cut would probably not be enough. Kakashi thought about whether he would be willing to injure himself so severely just to influence his father. He would do anything for him, but in this case, he couldn't rely on Minato or Pakkun. They would try to stop him, and that was understandable. Kakashi had to come up with something else, but he doubted that another possibility would come to mind.
But Kakashi was determined to find a way, and if necessary, he was also willing to take drastic measures. However, he decided that he must definitely meet with Minato tomorrow and talk to him. Perhaps Minato had another idea, even though Kakashi didn't have too much hope. As a precaution, he should, however, devise a plan to ensure that his father stayed with him.
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Even at night, it was pleasantly warm outside. The sky was clear and cloudless, the moon cast gentle light as Kakashi slipped back into his room through his window. He quietly closed the window and turned around in the room. There were no signs that his father had entered the room. After Kakashi was sure that his father had also gone to bed and fallen asleep, he sneaked out of the house.
At 7 p.m., his father had sent him to bed after he had bathed. Kakashi didn't show it, but inwardly, he felt annoyed. Being sent to bed at 35 was humiliating, even if no one knew. But it was his decision to stay, so he had to adapt. From now on, others saw him as a child.
However, that didn't stop him from sneaking out of the house. He had to prepare. Kakashi rummaged in his pocket and held a small test tube in his hand. His gaze remained fixed on it as he clenched it tightly. It was his backup plan in case he couldn't think of another one. A sigh escaped him as he went to his closet and opened it. Carefully, he hid the test tube deep in his closet. Then he closed the door, leaned against it with his hands, and bent forward until his forehead touched the wood of the closet.
He sighed deeply, knowing it was risky, but he had to try it. Kakashi was not inexperienced; he trusted that he could estimate the dosage correctly so that he wouldn't die but still feel bad enough. He pushed himself away from the closet and returned to his bed, where he crawled under the covers. His thoughts revolved around his plan. It wasn't perfect, but he was willing to take any risk to save his father.
All afternoon, he had been thinking about what he could do until he finally decided to poison himself if necessary. He knew that Tsunade always kept some poison in her office to work with and produce antidotes. So, he had stolen some of it and kept a small supply. It wasn't perfect, but better than nothing. Kakashi rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Over and over again, he went through everything in his mind, hoping that everything would turn out well. He tried to stay positive.