Useless Exorcism

They had a truce, but conflicts still arose. Yesterday, Sakura picked apricots from her parents' garden to give to Ino. She ate five pieces before raising her perfect eyebrow and stating: "How could you forget that I'm allergic?" Sakura shifted her gaze from her to the starry sky. Their new way of foretelling the future didn't quite work. Or they were too stupid in astrology.

Yes, Ino mentioned her allergy in peaceful days before the academy. But she was saying so many facts about herself that there was no way Sakura could remember such an insignificant detail after nearly ten years. After all, she didn't have a phenomenal memory like Shikamaru do.

Sakura wondered if he was looking at the stars. It was a little strange to watch the clouds - they are not so beautiful, and the sunlight damages the retina if you stare at the sky for too long. He probably should check his vision.

"If you have allergy, why did you took it?" asked Sakura. Reply came fast: "Now I have an excuse to blame you and I am not breaking our truce. Because Sasuke is not an apricot".

Sakura rolled her eyes. That was so Ino-like. But she still loves her. Even with allergic acne on her face. Sakura can't help but wonder sometimes if Shikamaru told Ino too that she treats people like dirt under Sasuke's feet.

In the month after their draw, during which Sakura and Ino resumed their friendship, he never showed up. He probably thinks that she is hypocritical and insincere towards Ino. Either way, Sakura will make him check his eyes.

"So you're already feeling guilty?" Ino asked as she ate her sixth apricot.

"Maybe a little bit", confessed Sakura.

Maybe she should have apologized. But Shikamaru was the one who told her all these things, though he had no right to do so. They weren't friends, not even good acquaintances. And it seems they never will.

"Shika initially didn't want to fight for the spectators. You gonna see, he will give up", Choji said with confidence.

Naruto yelled an objection indignantly, but Ino cut him off before he could tirade: "Sasuke-kun is just too much of a drag for him". She was already annoyed enough.

Sakura squeezed her hand a little tighter. She was glad that she didn't have to fight at this stage of the exam. The crowd around them cheered and waited for blood, blows and possibly death. The way civilians placed bets and shouted out comments, often offensive, unnerved both girls.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, seemed completely calm and relaxed as he waited for Sasuke to appear. "Ino," Sakura called unnecessarily. The blonde released her hand from the grip and gave Shikamaru a long look. It seemed to Sakura that they both shared the same thought.

«If Shikamaru chooses to fight, who will Ino worry about?»

Sakura wanted to say that they could talk about it. Right now, in a whisper. But she just watched, frozen, as Shikamaru tilted his head in their direction and lifted his chin up slightly.

"Fuck," Ino cursed and grabbed Sakura's hand so hard that her fingers almost broke. "Fuck no, Naruto couldn't be more right about my teammate than me." "Ino, what are you talking about?" Sakura blurted out as Sasuke appeared, accompanied by Kakashi sensei.

"Every time Shikamaru wants to let me know that I shouldn't worry, he nods in the specific way. He's going to fight Sasuke."

"You couldn't see it for sure. Too much distance between him and you."

Between him and me too, thought Sakura. But it seemed like our eyes met. As if he had desire to look at the person he hasn't spoken to in over a year.

She silently watched as Genma announced the start of the battle, and a whisper swept through the crowd. The foreigners didn't quite understand it, but there were two heirs of the legendary Konoha clans.

Shikamaru raised his right hand and Sakura heard Ino exhale the breath she was holding. But instead of raising his hand above his head, Shikamaru instantly pulled something thin, - but definitely made of metal, - from his hair and threw it in Sasuke's direction.

And that's how the battle began.

"I told you," Naruto shouted. Sakura once again wished for the ability to make people mute from time to time. Or at least Naruto.

Unconsciously, she stepped closer and clung to the iron railing. Ino, on the contrary, turned to face the wall as Chōji told her every detail and patted her back reassuringly.

"Sasuke dodged the blade" he said.

What was Shikamaru relying on? He wasted the element of surprise on this move.

"Uchiha tries to get closer", Choji comments again. His voice is calm for Ino, but Sakura can see the worry in his eyes.

Sakura turns back to the arena. Shikamaru made a few shadows around his legs. Sasuke is careful not to step on them, so he stops trying to close the distance and jumps back enough to fire the blades.

"Shikamaru uses the kunai that Asuma-sensei gave him".

Sakura wants to ask about this kunai, but her mouth is dry, as is her throat, which has no sound to cheer for Sasuke-kun. Naruto yells something like "kick Sasuke's ass for me" to Shikamaru.

The smoke spreads into the arena from the seal that was attached to the kunai Shikamaru had thrown before. Sakura's eyes begin to water and she thinks this is an excuse to take a risk. She read about using chakra to improve eyesight in an encyclopedia, but if you were not careful or experienced enough, you could blow your own eyeball.

She closes eyes and calms her breath, feeling the energy slowly spread from the point between her eyebrows to the nerves around her eyes. Her chakra is so warm, but if it stays still for too long, it will start to burn the channels. Thousands of spectators around become loud, and Sakura can hear someone call her name, as if she was deep under the water. She is almost ready when a push is felt in the shoulder; her head twitches and the chakra returns to its original point, leaving awful pain in her eyeballs. "Sakura-chan...", she opens her eyes to realize she's had the complete opposite effect - her vision is blurry and something wet is dripping down her cheeks.

Sakura notices Naruto's worried silhouette, he asks if she's okay, but her attention is only on the arena in front of her. Even in the fuzzy lines, she can see the scorched earth, black marks on the walls from Sasuke's fire jutsu.

Shikamaru is standing in the dust and ash, his clothes are torn and cuts from the kunai are visible on his skin. Sweat trickles down his tanned face as he maintains the jutsu. A jutsu that prevents Sasuke from any kind moving. Shikamaru caught him with his shadow, which he passes through a hole in the ground created during Naruto and Neji's fight.

Sakura squints, tears dripping from her chin and she wipes them off with the back of her hand, only to realize that it's blood. Damn. Naruto pushed her at the most inopportune moment. He looks shocked both at her sudden injury and the battle.

"Nothing to worry about," she lies. "I wanted to improve my eyesight, so I can watch Sasuke-kun fight, but I couldn't concentrate properly. It will be fine." Sakura should have run to the medic now, before the damage to her vision becomes permanent, but she just can't. A bad feeling deepened in her chest and it seems to her that if she takes her eyes off the battle even for one more second, the world will collapse.

And Sasuke.

And Shikamaru.

He looks at her. She peers into his face in return, or trying to, and for a moment everything becomes clear again. Or not. And she just got visual illusion. Sakura's not sure. Because Shikamaru looks crazy. And the way the strands of hair that escaped his ponytail frame his face - makes him look similar to his shadows.

He's so arcane, baffling, inscrutable in his ruse and a way he hadn't shown his power for so long.

And even though he lost - Sasuke's raw energy was too strong even for such a cunning trap. He freed himself from the shadow and before he could close the distance between himself and Nara, Shikamaru raised his hand. This time he really gave up.

Sakura felt cold down her spine. Because he was still fucking staring at her: when he and Sasuke exchanged a few words; when Genma announced the winner, when Sakura closed her bleeding eyes, she still felt his gaze and she had no idea why he was doing this.

She leaves the arena. It isn't until the medic's chakra penetrates and heals her eyes that Sakura realizes - she didn't even congratulate Sasuke on his victory. She just darted past him, because the gaze of those brown eyes burned her more than katon.

She looks tired: leaves are stuck in her unusually short hair and it seems that she fought over these branches with a rabid raccoon. Shikamaru isn't sure if she even won, but he knows for a fact that he looks a lot worse now. He lost to Sasuke for the second time in a row, and the Hokage's idea of making him a squad leader now seems short-sighted. They wanted to awaken pity in the Uchiha by sending former classmates after him? Bullshit. Sasuke had already left two of the people dearest to him - Sakura on a cold bench, and Naruto alone. It's the point of no return.

He must be lost in his thoughts, because when he looks at Sakura again, the rays of the sunset come through the window. The dying sun is as red as the cover of Yoshino's encyclopedia.

Hanakotoba. Silent language.

He finds page sixty-five in his mind, with a neat illustration of an ordinary branch with small white flowers.

Dogwood.Durability.
"Am I indifferent for you?"

For the first time since his fight in the chuunin exams, the corners of Shikamaru's mouth lift up into a barely noticable smile.

"How long was I unconscious?"

"Eight hours since the squad arrived in Konoha," Sakura replies and stands up, heading for the door. Shikamaru smiles and his split lip begins to bleed. His throat is dry as a desert, although he has never been to Suna to compare.

"Are you going to give me my bouquet?"

"Ino will rip out her hair if he sees these branches".

He coughs - yes, definitely his throat is dry. Not like he let out a muffled chuckle, because she read his mind. He holds out his hand and Sakura gives him the dogwood. She is so careful not to touch Shikamaru that she almost throws the branches and half of the bouquet spills over the sheets of his hospital bed.

"Your mother is in the waiting room. I'll tell her you'll be ready for visitors in ten minutes."

"Yes, and please - Sakura", her name sounds different. "Tell her to bring me my clothes, green tea and... and a red-cover encyclopedia"

So she does.

He's too good for her and for his own sake. She doesn't beg him to stay like she did with Sasuke, but he still asks her seven times if he should decline training with Jiraiya.

She hits him on the head, and then kisses the scar on his cheek and feels terrible under the knowing look of the Toad Sage. He drags embarrassed Naruto by the shoulder and assures him that Sakura will not be left without a mentor.

She sits on the gate to Konoha for a long time, hours after the disappearance of Naruto's figure from the horizon and sunset.

Cold, but she likes being numb. The chuunin's vest falls over her shoulders.

"I didn't think you'd be bragging about your promotion," Sakura tries to joke, and it's pretty good. But it doesn't seem to be enough for Shikamaru because he frowns.

"You need a hot supper."

"I feel like throwing up"

"Then hot tea. With herbs."

"I don't want company."

"It's two in the morning, Sakura. Nara estate is empty. And I'm nothing more than a shadow."

He keeps his promise and doesn't say a word. In the moonlight, deers raid the flower bed.

"Shouldn't you stop them? The owner of the garden will be mad."

"These flowers were planted by my mother. She'll be mad anyway. And..." Shikamaru sips his cold tea. "And we're not here, right?"

For the first time since Sasuke left, Sakura smiles. Not for Naruto, not for parents. For herself, because Shikamaru looks up at the cloudless sky. 

"You know you were right," Sakura says and the emotion in her whisper makes the deer stop eating the peony. "Maybe I do treat Naruto like dirt under Sasuke's feet, but not in the way you thought. I feel like I gave him hope and then I might break his heart" Shikamaru stares at her for about ten seconds, and then smiles.

"Sakura, I've been friends with Naruto even longer than you. Don't you think that Naruto's love for you is a subconscious competition with Sasuke? Because consciously he would never do such a cruel thing."

"Then it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders," Sakura admits. "I think I'll go to Tsunade's tomorrow."

"You'll need all your strength and it`s really late", Shikamaru says. "Take my room, and I will crash in the guest one".

Sakura feels her heart doing things she haven`t read about in medicine magazines. That`s was . . . personal. How his room even looked like? Shit, she must be resembling a deer in the sudden light with a shocked face expression like that. 

"I have glass ceiling, so you can watch stars while you fall asleep. I think they might keep company you need right now".

Sakura nodded. Stars crossed one more time.