Bother
His mother wouldn't leave him alone.
Itachi understood his father—the man hadn't let him be since his birth. But his mother usually left him to his own devices, only approaching when she noticed if he was being particularly odd or if something was going on with Sasuke. Itachi didn't hate his mother's attention. It was just... suffocating. Mikoto could be overbearing when she wanted to be. And he was so used to Sasuke being the baby of the house that when he was treated the same it just felt wrong.
But here he was, sitting traditionally before their low dining table, as his mother—well, he didn't know really, was she lecturing him? Giving him advice? Threatening? It seemed to be a twisted combination of all three.
"Itachi, dear," she stopped in the middle of her tirade. "Are you listening to me?"
"Of course, mother," he lied.
"Good. Now where was I? Oh!" she pointed emphatically at him. "Have you spoken to Hiashi already? You need to hurry up and set a date for the wedding. That girl's a keeper. Very beautiful. Kind. She'll be a good mother. And oh, did you taste the fish rice bowl she made the other day? My god, Itachi! If you're not careful, someone else might sweep her off her feet!"
Though he knew it wasn't true, he liked to privately joke that his mother was, perhaps, more in love with Hinata than he was. But the more logical side of him knew that she was just eager to have—
"Two daughters, Itachi!" she squealed in delight. "I'm going to have two daughters!"
Ah, there it was.
The real reason for her excitement.
"And they're both darlings! Can you imagine how they'd look in kimonos? That thick, straight hair and those light eyes. Oh, we could all dress up for festivals just like what your aunts and cousins do!"
"Marriage is still far off, mother," he said. "We've yet to even speak about the political concerns of the Hyuga heiress becoming a part of the Uchiha clan."
"Don't you give me that! You're almost twenty-six, Itachi. I expected grandchildren three years ago! And I expected marriage long before that. At least let me have a daughter."
"We aren't marrying for your sake, mother," he said as politely as possible.
"Well, fine," she huffed, "but if you're going to fumble around, then I'll set Hinata up with Sasuke."
Itachi rubbed his temples in an uncharacteristic display of annoyance. What kind of threat was that? It was so ludicrous, it was actually effective.
"Then if it pleases you, I will... bring the topic up to Hiashi when I see him later."
Her eyes sparkled.
"You're going to go see him?" she said, standing up so quickly that the table rattled with her movements. "Wait here! I'm going to go get my old hairpins. They'd look perfect on Hinata! Oh, I'll wrap them in that pretty lilac wrapping paper I bought last week. Do you think Hinata would mind if I went to visit her as well?"
Sage, free him.
Where was Sasuke when he needed him? Only he seemed to know how to be able to properly distract his mother. As he watched his mother speak to herself, he noted his father was leaning on the wall just around the corner, wisely avoiding entering.
"Don't move," Mikoto suddenly warned, already rushing off to her room.