Chapter 1
Her nails cut into the soft skin of her hands as Sakura tried not to show that she wanted to cry in front of the new Hokage. She missed the number of times she came to this office begging the Hokage to accept her as an apprentice, like a pathetic beggar asking for a piece of crumb, or at least, granting her a chance, something that didn't happen.
However, that was a big lie that she told herself to delude herself for a few seconds, Sakura had an eidetic memory, she knew exactly how many times she came to this place with such a proposal.
269 times in the last three months, even coming more than twice a day or three.
The people in the Tower already know her well, the looks of pity towards her were very clear, after becoming irritated by her constant presence.
But, like every other time, Sakura received a “no” accompanied by empty eyes and cold words directed with the sole intention of destroying her spirit.
- Do you really think I have time to waste on a brat like you, pink?! No, I do not have! Now get out of my sight for today and leave me alone for just one day, girl!
Sakura looked at her angrily but said nothing other than nodding her head and leaving, but the promise in her eyes said she would return, which it seemed the Hokage knew very well and for a moment, Sakura thought she saw amusement. in those golden eyes, but it must have been his imagination, because they remain cold as gold in the blink of seconds.
When the pink-haired girl left the room, the Fifth Hokage's apprentice let out a sigh.
- She is persistent, Tsunade-sama.
-She is a member of Team 7, has she ever seen any of them be anything other than that?
Shizune didn't respond, knowing that the girl's two companions were also known for this.
-Why don't you say straight away that you're not going to accept her as an apprentice for free-
- Shizune, stop wasting time with useless conversations and let's get to work, I still have a meeting with those old people on the council.
Honey eyes glanced towards the door, where she could feel the girl's presence still there.
Sakura moved on, she had stayed at the door for a while longer, because she didn't want to face the usual looks from those who worked in the Tower.
With her head down, she quickly left that place and walked along a more desolate path of shinobis and civilians, she didn't want to hear the murmurs that one of her companions betrayed the village, another left it later than they would have liked and how the one who stayed it was abandoned even by the jounin sensei himself.
There were whispers that had been running through the streets since the attack on Vila. However, the destruction of her Team did not occur after Orochimaru's attack, it began much earlier.
The Chunin Exams only reinforced how unprepared they were and how they didn't know how to fight as a team.
Team 7 disbanded and Kakashi-sensei disappeared from the map soon after, leaving no trace of his presence or saying goodbye, which Naruto also did the same without thinking twice, even Sasuke said goodbye to her when he fled the Village, the which makes the situation quite ironic.
Sakura passed by a group of women, full of shame, seeing them pointing at her with looks of disgust and repulsion, the pink-haired girl couldn't blame them, after all, her current appearance didn't improve her situation.
His hair, which was so perfect, but since he had to cut it horribly during the Chunin Exams, was a mess of strands everywhere, oily like oil and full of dirt from not having washed it in days, it smelled bad and had a sticky appearance. Her skin was horrible, especially her cracked lips and gigantic ears over her eyes. Her clothes, which consisted of her typical red dresses, had holes all over them and dirt that left her with a color that wasn't so red anymore.
All in all, Sakura looked like a beggar.
And to help with this new title… her current home.
With the attack taking place three months ago, practically many corners of Konoha were destroyed by the fighting. Mainly the Civil District, which Sakura doesn't want to remember at this moment as the place where she has lived her whole life.
So, with all the renovation going on, the Village prioritized the richest and most complex places of Shinobi Clans. Sakura's parents' house was in a noble place in the Civil District, being built after the renovations, however, she didn't want to live listening to the whispers of her neighbors or in the shadows of past memories, so she decided to sell the house and stay with the money I needed.
What brought her to this place?
The decaying building that at any moment could fall and collapse on her head.
Konoha had made buildings available for Jounins, Chuunins and Genins. However, the building for Genins was full, but Sakura only discovered later that the only people who got a place were those who had the support and help of their Clans or Jounin sensei, in other words, Sakura was fucked.
What was left to stop sleeping on the streets was to accept living in the emptiest Genins building among all the others. Only after a while did Sakura discover why it wasn't crowded like the others or why there weren't any fights to live here.
It was a cursed building.
More specifically, the building of civilian Genin who have passed the graduation exam and do not have Jounin senses or have not been placed on a team, are the famous cannon fodder in a war or paper workers.
The lowest of the low title, where Sakura found herself ironically enough.
After all, after all, she no longer had a team, nor a jounin sensei and to top it off, she was a regular civilian.
In other words, the new acquisition for the building.
The reason for it being called cursed, Sakura discovered soon after, from one of the old men who sells fruit at a very low price to her, a retired ex-shinobi, was that there were only children in this building and many only stayed there for days, weeks or months before they never return.
The dark look he gave her clearly told the hidden meaning.
They died on missions that were beyond their abilities or were simply not seen again.
Orphan children.
Children that no one cared about.
Sakura opened the old, chipped door to her one-bedroom apartment, a kitchen connected to the living room and a single bathroom.
She didn't care about its simplicity or whether the building was cursed, after all, they said the members of Team 7 were too.
Also, she stopped caring about things like that, ever since she looked for her parents after the attack and discovered that they were one of the victims who died among the rubble of the destroyed house.
The worst part of all this was that the Village ordered the unoccupied Genins to work to clean up and help the survivors after the fights were over. Sakura was so worried about Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei that she didn't notice that the house she she was looking for survivors… it was hers.
She only found out when she found a dismembered arm, which she had gotten used to seeing after so many lifeless bodies, that she noticed the ring with a very familiar emerald on one of the fingers.
But, she was so tired that she didn't pay attention, until she found the missing body part, which was hugging another lifeless figure.
The image was grotesque in a bizarre way, because it showed their love until death.
They were Sakura's parents.
Her parents were full of blood.
Her parents who greeted her with hugs and smiles of happiness whenever she arrived home.
Now they were two empty-eyed corpses looking at her without a hint of warmth or recognition.
But how could they? They were…dead.
At that moment, she wanted to vomit, scream and cry, but none of that happened. She felt empty for the first time.
Just… she didn't feel anything.
Her movements were mechanical and when she took the bodies for recognition, she didn't need to identify them like the others, she just said that they were her parents to the shinobi who had a pen writing down names and characteristics.
The look of shock and understanding was worthless, because it wouldn't make them vote for their lives.
After that, Sakura made a point of not taking or retrieving anything belonging to her parents or their home, she felt like she shouldn't.
She used the money she got to hold their wake, which only she was present, Ino didn't respond to the letter and the several others she had sent.
Sakura shook her head to erase those memories.
She needed to take a shower, but as there was no water in the building, the children took it in a nearby river.
She took some clothes from her old closet, which an old lady gave her and went to remove all the dirt from her body. She had a D rank mission to do in an hour, she needed to be presentable to be the nanny of 5 children of a civilian couple, where the residents were very rich.
In the river, there were other children taking a bath too, some were clearly hungry, and it was possible to see some ribs in the distance, she should remember to stop by their door and leave some of the few leftover food she had.
As much as everyone tried to survive, those who had more things shared with those in need, it was an unspoken Law among everyone, but it warmed her heart when I found some reasonably good fruits, on her doorstep in one of the weeks she wasn't able to eat. I had still sold the house and was out of money.
Because of this, she always tried to take on as many missions as possible to buy more affordable food, so she could help those who were most hungry.
Bathing among them in the river became something so normal that Sakura no longer had any shame after a while, she simply knew that she could trust the same children who were going through the same thing.
As soon as she finished, she put on the outfit she was given, which consisted of an old black long-sleeved blouse, black shorts above mid-thigh, very short, but she had no other clothes. And black shinobi sandals, they were blue before, but the dirt didn't come off for nothing.
Sakura left her hair the same way, a hairstyle wouldn't make any difference, but it was more presentable now.
Finishing everything, she waved to the others and threw her old clothes into the nearest trash can to be used to make a fire at night.
They no longer served any purpose and only reminded her of what she didn't want.
On her way to fulfill her mission, she heard her name being called in the distance, recognizing who it was, Sakura pretended not to hear and hurried her steps. She didn't want to face this person right now.
Placing her hands in her coat pockets, she moved forward, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.
- Seriously, Testa! Haven't you heard me calling you for a decade?!
Sakura turned her body towards her former best friend. Ino was looking at her irritably in her sky blue pools. With hands on hips and typical arrogant pose. Before Sakura could respond as she normally would, the sounds of more people coming interrupted the conversation.
It looked like they had just celebrated something, although Sakura found it strange, because, surprising and unbelievable as it may seem, Team 10, Team 8, and Gai-sensei's Team were all together.
In a very friendly way between them.
Only the jounin sensei seemed not to be present with them, so it must have been a meeting or casual encounter.
There was a pang in her chest, but Sakura skillfully ignored it.
Everyone seemed happy and some even proud.
There was no need to ask why, Ino made a point of announcing by pulling Hinata and Tenten forward and grabbing them by the shoulders. A huge smile on her face.
Although Sakura's world collapsed right after Ino uttered those simple words.
- You are now looking at the Fifth Hokage's new apprentices! Me, Hinata and Tenten were accepted by Tsunade-sama! - Ino said loudly and full of happiness.
While the girls in her arms smiled shyly at the attention that Ino was drawing to their large group, only to then start fighting with Kiba and Shikamaru, Sakura smiled and closed her eyes, giving an expression of pure happiness at the news she received.
Her heart felt like it was in pieces.
Like that time when she found her parents dead three months ago, Sakura felt nothing, just an empty feeling that completely dominated her.
- Will you stop talking so loud?! Why don't we train on the field? I've been bored since these exams ended and we were forced to stay at home or do silly missions outside the Village, waiting for our senseis to give us something better to work with than monitoring land and hunting animals on a farm! - The Inuzuka complained.
Sakura's keen ears captured this particular piece of information.
- Are you bored? My father made me work at the flower shop for three months! I only had time to buy very few clothes, paint my nails and do my hair!
- Our Team trained on the edge of the Village - For the first time, Hinata's cousin spoke out.
Sakura ignored Lee when he noticed her and was making a declaration of love for her, before getting into an argument with Kiba.
The only thing that was going through her mind was that while she was sent hunting and looking for bodies of dead people and survivors after the attack, her colleagues were complaining about a simple task of guarding a store or a farm?
Did they know what dead people's blood felt like on their hands?
Did they know what it was like to find pieces of a body scattered across the streets and then try to put them back together? Or pile it up with the other bodies found?
Did they know that people died in that attack? Ino, did she know that Sakura's parents were buried three months ago? She should have known, Sakura sent her more than one letter, informing her about what happened and asking her to accompany her to the wake, because she didn't have time to go to the flower shop to look. She even left a message for her sensei when she saw him at the Tower.
Oh.
What a fool she is. Sakura Haruno the big “idiot”.
Why was she asking such stupid questions? She already knew the answer to them all.
Everyone before her were from shinobi families. Everyone had a sensei who took care of them after the attack. They all had someone.
Sakura had no one and that pain she felt when Ino told her that she would be one of the Hokage's new apprentices multiplied a million times in a few seconds. But, with skill and mastery, Sakura pushed that feeling away, she couldn't let anything show on her face.
The world was unfair and crying wouldn't make food magically appear on the table or help the starving orphaned children in the building.
Sakura was also an orphan child and would go hungry if she didn't get money.
- Ino, let's go. It's getting late and I'm sure Haruno is busy, didn't you say that the Fifth Hokage asked you to go to the Tower? - Shikamaru interrupted the moment when Ino was telling how the Hokage would announce this news today and how they had been preparing for days.
Another pang when remembering the number 269. His look at Sakura was a mixture of pity and contemplation, as if she were an exotic species that the Nara heir was analyzing, having already expected and calculated what she would demonstrate, to be equal to the predicted and calculated.
Shikamaru has always been like this since he was a child, he thought he was smarter than everyone and that he created scenarios for all possible events, underestimating that a person could change or surprise him.
Sakura remembers seeing his father, the Jounin Commander, on many days that she went to repeatedly ask the Fifth Hokage for an apprenticeship, so she knew very well what he was doing.
If she were a few months ago, she might even be able to get her analysis right, Shikamaru. However, the pink-haired girl they met is not the same one who was absent from their lives for three months. She died at the same moment she saw her parents dead and her Team torn apart.
- He's right, Pig! You can't want to disappoint the Hokage any more than you do with your presence - Sakura smiled arrogantly at Ino, already seeing the irritated gleam in her eyes, as well as the usual joy.
- Hun! There's no way that could happen. See you later, Testa!
Sakura waved to the others who also said goodbye to her or just ignored her out of politeness, making a point of looking into the Nara heir's brown eyes and smiling at him like she always did since they were children.
Already knowing that this left him disconcerted by the slight furrowing of his eyebrows and confusion in his eyes.
Sakura wouldn't worry, Shikamaru is too lazy to think about her any longer than necessary, for the Nara heir, she was too… troublesome.
With the farewell done, Sakura went on her way, she still needed money at the end of the month to survive, as she doesn't have parents or a Clan that would support her like the same ones who were present a second ago.
Or that's what she wanted to say to herself as she scrubbed the small child's vomit off her coat in the sink of the Village's public bathroom after her babysitting assignment was over.
Her hands stopped rubbing and grabbed her hair tightly. Who was she kidding? The substance came out in the last 10 minutes from all the rubbing, but she kept going so she wouldn't have to think about the damn number 269.
269 times.
She went to ask for learning and a single chance 269 times in the last three months and received the coldest responses possible from the Hokage.
But, those three girls were with their Teams, Clans and doing small tasks while the Genins with no power or status, struggled to remove living and dead bodies from the rubble, doing irritating missions to survive and having to endure everything with a smile on their face. !
Salty tears fell from her eyes and Sakura could no longer stand. Sliding into a sitting position, she cried and cried and cried for her dead parents, cried for her Team that no longer existed, cried for this alone and abandoned one, cried because she knew, that she would have no one to comfort her when she got home. So, she decided to cry so she wouldn't have to suffer and dwell on it later.
When she spent more than an hour in that dirty bathroom that no one uses, Sakura got up.
In the mirror, where it was possible to see her appearance reflected, Sakura felt worse, her face looked horrible. All red and along with the black ears below his eyes, it didn't really match.
A disaster.
With the old, dirty water from the sink, she washed her face and put some makeup on her suit, she still had another errand to do before returning home.
When she was presentable enough not to scare anyone and there was no sign of crying or lack of sleep reflected on her face, Sakura left that dirty bathroom and headed in a direction further away from the Village.