Chapter 19
His eyes met a white ceiling.
Keigo didn't know where he was.
Was he still in Tsukuyomi?
Had they really saved him or was it all a deception?
The bed beneath him was too soft, the blankets too warm, the pajamas too rough, and the room too white and bright.
The room was too quiet and noisy at the same time.
He felt the needle in his hand pumping something into his veins.
He tore it up without regard.
His eyes darted from one side of the room to the other, focusing on everything but nothing.
On the bed he was too exposed to danger so he crouched on the floor with his back to the corner of the room.
He had the door and window clearly visible so he would know if anyone entered.
His knees were pulled up to his chest and his arms were hugging them.
He knew Itachi was hiding somewhere ready to torture him in some other sick way but this time he wouldn't be caught unprepared.
The doorknob began to move and shadows could be seen from under the door, someone was trying to enter.
He knew Itachi was the one trying to get in. He knew he must still be in Tsukuyomi and that if that door opened the pain would return.
Keigo's chakra responded to his discomfort by sending electric shocks to anyone who tried to get close. He didn't even have to move from his crouched position in the corner.
Several people tried to enter but the result was always the same electricity hitting them.
At one point his father's voice tried to contact him from behind the door, he almost fell into the trap when he was called bubba but then he remembered that Itachi knew about the nickname and ignored the voice.
He still couldn't follow the passage of time, the minutes faded into hours or what seemed like hours to him.
His fractured mind lost track of his thoughts and left him in a state of confusion.
The vicious circle into which he had fallen was broken when a new vice rang out.
"Keigo? Keigo, it's me Kakashi"
The fog that had been sitting in his mind began to clear.
"Will you let me in?"
Was Kakashi there?
According to Keigo it made no sense for Itachi to use it against him because he had never told him about the feelings he had, for him he was just their team leader.
"You're real?"
Keigo spoke for the first time in a long time, his voice hoarse from disuse or perhaps from the screaming he'd done.
"Tell me something only Kakashi would know"
"For your birthday I gave you a new katana sheath" Kakashi replied without missing a beat.
He was real, Keigo hadn't told anyone about the gift so it really had to be Kakashi behind the door.
"Come in but only you" he said quickly.
The door then opened just enough to let Kakashi's body pass through.
He was dressed in the standard jonin uniform and with his one eye looked around the room.
When he met Keigo's blue eyes the line of his shoulders relaxed.
He slowly walked past the bed and sat on the floor in front of him close enough that if Keigo wanted he could reach out and touch him.
"Yesterday was real, right? You came and I'm no longer in the Tsukuyomi?"
His voice was anxious and his eyes kept wandering around the room looking for an invisible enemy.
"I'm real, you're in Konoha and if you looked at me you'd find out" Kakashi's voice was soft as he answered him.
Keigo finally looked up at him and gasped.
In front of him Kakashi smiled at him with his mask lowered to his neck, a small mole on his chin.
He was beautiful.
He was the proof that he was no longer in the Tsukuyomi and Keigo threw himself at him with open arms.
He was greeted by Kakashi who wrapped him in his arms.
Keigo was practically in the other's lap but he didn't care as he buried his face in the crook of his neck.
He smelled like sun and electricity.
"Come on, let's get you up and back to bed" Kakashi pulled him up and tucked him under the covers.
"There would be others who want to come in, Minato-sensei, the nurses..." his hand was still in his as he asked.
"I wanna be alone" Keigo murmured into the pillow
"Yes, okay, I'll leave you to yourselves then" Kakashi began to walk away at his words.
Keigo kept his grip on his hand, "Alone with you, does that make sense?"
Kakashi's eye was as round as a saucer. When he recovered his lips were curled into a small smile.
"Totally makes sense, come on make a little room for me"
At that point Kakashi climbed onto the bed next to him.
Keigo clung to him, his head on his chest as Kakashi wrapped his arms around him and slowly stroked the hair from his forehead.
The next time he woke up he didn't even have time to panic about where he was because a song reached his ears.
'Days seem sometimes as if they'll never end
Sun digs its heels to taunt you
But after sunlit days, one thing stays the same
Rises the moon'
The warm voice took him back to the evenings spent in the woods during missions with his first team, the evenings when he was so afraid of the dark that he could barely sleep a wink. Tenzou had taken it upon himself to console him while Shikaku-sensei was sleeping and with a hidden talent had begun to hum to him.
Keigo didn't know how long it had been since he first woke up considering that at that moment the room was only lit by a small lamp placed on the bedside table.
When he fell asleep with Kakashi it was still daylight so it had only been a few hours or days?
The lack of information was making him agitated and confusing his mind.
His fidgeting must have alerted Tenzou because the humming stopped and a hand rested gently on his shoulder.
His wide eyes met Tenzou's sympathetic ones.
"Okay?" Tenzou asked.
Keigo tried to answer but his voice failed him.
With a lump obstructing his throat and his eyes shining with tears he nodded towards his friend.
Tenzou nodded in turn and wordlessly returned to humming.
Keigo stared at the ceiling until he fell back asleep thinking about how grateful he was that Tenzou was his best friend.
The bad days were more than the good ones.
On bad days Keigo didn't let anyone into the room and curled up in a corner on the floor.
On bad days his mind was so confused that the passing of the hours made no sense and everything and everyone was an enemy.
On bad days Keigo barely remembered if he was real.
The only thing that grounded him was feeling the cold of the floor beneath his hands, solid, real.
And strangely origami.
During one of his visits, Kakashi had shown him the small paper creations and Keigo, with his confused mind, had never felt so clear as when he folded the sheets of paper.
On bad days Keigo folded small paper flowers to get out of his mind.
Kakashi, Keigo didn't know how, was always behind the door waiting for it to be reopened after a bad day.
No matter what time Kakashi was always there waiting for him.
That morning made no difference.
The sun had yet to rise but the sky was already lightening and when Keigo unlocked the door of the room he stepped aside without saying anything to let the usual silver-haired guest pass.
The nights were always the most difficult time for Keigo, the darkness intensified everything since he had never truly overcome the fear he had as a child.
"I brought you the chocolate milk that the nurses prevent you from having"
Kakashi placed the plastic bag on the nightstand and began to take out their breakfast.
"My savior" Keigo hummed happily.
A few times after one of his episodes his voice would fail him except for small phrases and words at times. But Kakashi seemed to bring out what others couldn't.
They both sat down at the small desk and ate while talking about this and that.
"You're getting better" Kakashi pointed to the small origami that had been abandoned on the bed.
"Oh yeah and now I don't even cut my fingers anymore" Keigo responded by showing his fingers that were missing the bandaids that had accompanied them for the past few days.
"Do you want one? Soon the room will be swamped if I don't start throwing them away or giving them away"
His chatter filled the room as he made his way to the bed.
"What's your favorite color?"
Kakashi saw Keigo's eager eyes turn towards him at the question.
"Red"
Kakashi muttered turning his head towards the window before a blush could be seen from the edge of his mask.
He only heard the sound of paper before Keigo's presence in front of him registered again.
The red head was bent over in front of him as he tried to fit something into the breast pocket of his jonin vest.
Once finished a red paper flower was pinned to the front of Kakashi's uniform.
"Pretty nice huh?" Keigo said proudly as he looked at his work.
"Yeah pretty nice" Kakashi said as he looked at Keigo.