Shake Me, Break Me
A boom, a crash, and a squeal. “MOM!!”
A sigh. “I knew it was a bad idea to leave the two of them alone making lunch.” Pow got up slowly from her seat beside her husband and walked over to the kitchen where the sounds had come from. At least the house smelled nice, so there was less concern of it burning down. When she rounded the corner, the two of them sat on the floor, diced potatoes on the countertop and a knife beside them. Lora cradling her hand while Idina held a white and red towel over it. Pow ran over and knelt beside them.
“It-it slipped, I promise!” Lora sniffled. Idina removed the towel to reveal a small cut, barely the length of her own pinky nail and shallow. But Pow could recognize that this would be tough for her daughter.
It had been a challenge the first few years of raising her and Ekko’s children, where neither of them knew what it had been like to ever be truly safe. Pow had her adoptive father Silco, who, from the age of seven, had her building bombs and administering medical treatment. Injuries were often frequent and severe, though they were always patched up. Before him was Pow’s older sister Violet. Pow had been going on missions since she could walk, even if it started off as snatching food from dumpsters. A life where food was simply provided was no life Pow had ever lived.
It was the same for Ekko. He was the one with much more experience than his wife, with him leading the firelights and all, but from what he had told her of the place, there weren’t many kids there at first. It was always meant to be a haven for those recovering from Shimmer, and for all of Silco’s evils, the kids had never been affected by it. They started showing up only when parents became addicted and needed support for their families. At that point, Ekko had left their care to other adults in the community. He was always off fighting or on missions, he never had the chance to stay home and change a diaper or spoon feed a toddler.
But for them both, life in the Undercity meant fending for themselves. There was never anyone to fend for them. Injuries like Lora’s were often barely felt, unnoticed among all the other circumstances. But Ekko and Pow wanted their kids to live a safe life, where even tiny cuts like this seemed world-ending to them because they hadn’t dealt with the pain of stab wounds from street fights gone wrong, or falling multiple stories while trying to travel by roof because they were avoiding enforcers, or being forced to fight in an alley over a discarded sandwich. When the two of them had arrived here in Ionia all those years ago, they realized that it was a much safer place for raising children, and with their collective love for the little ones, they ended up with four.
Pow took the towel from Idina and wiped the blood from Lora’s finger. “What happened, kiddo?”
Lora sniffled, eyes watery and face splotchy. “I was—I was trying to cut the potatoes. I wanted to grill them like Dad always does.”
Pow smiled slightly and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “I thought we agreed we were having sandwiches and fruit?”
“I know but—but I wanted to cook something.”
“I know you want to be a big girl and cook, but we already discussed this. Papa and I need to be there watching and we’re starting off with easy things, like duck eggs. And why potatoes? You know we’ve told you before that only Papa and I deal with those. They’re very tough and slippery and you can get hurt. Now you know.”
The bleeding had stopped long ago, but Pow could tell it brought Lora some measure of comfort to have the wound covered, so she walked over to the cabinet by the stove and removed a strip of gauze and a pin. She wrapped her daughter’s ring finger gently, sliding in the pin to hold the gauze in place.
“Thank you Mama,” Lora said, then waddled off to the living room where Ekko waited. Of all four kids, she looked the most like him by far. She wore his same mocha toned skin, impossibly dark eyes, and even darker hair. The primary difference was the body structure that she shared with Pow; thin frame and long torso, and while Ekko’s hair was kinky coiled—a common trait of his ethnicity—hers lay in shiny ringlets.
Idina stayed behind in the kitchen, per Pow’s request. She had never understood before why Vi had been so insistent on bossing Pow around, or why Vander insisted on laying that kind of pressure on her shoulders, but now she knew. Motherhood had taught her everything she hadn’t learned as a kid.
“Ina, why didn’t you come get me? You knew that this was unsafe.”
Idina frowned at her mom. “She wanted to help, so I let her have a turn. I didn’t realize she would get hurt.”
I only wanted to help!
I told you to stay AWAY!
Pow shook her head, trying to force the scrawled bodies of Vander and Vi out of her vision, their voices out of her ears. “It doesn’t matter. If something unsafe is happening, you put a stop to it and you come get Papa or I. This is how accidents happen. Understand?”
Idina sighed. “Yes, Mom.”
Pow held her head in her hands as soon as Idina turned her back. The voices didn’t stop; seemed like today was just going to be one of those days. She took out a new knife to finish dicing the potatoes, ignoring Mylo’s taunts to slit her throat with it. When that was done, she called for Ekko to come cook them. The sandwiches that her daughters were supposedly making were nowhere to be found. Pow went to make them while her daughters were off likely sulking somewhere. Rashi was down the hall in he and Argus’s shared room, taking his afternoon nap. Argus was probably playing with his stackable wood blocks in the same room.
“Lora told me just now that you’re the bestest mom ever, in case you needed the cheering up,” Ekko told her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Between the (mostly) steady supply of food and three rounds of childbirth, Pow had filled out considerably, no longer the stick thin, underweight teen she was but now a full faced, taller and softer woman. Ekko told her the day Idina was born that she looked more like alternate Powder in that moment. Healthy, happy. Having his arms around her no longer made her self conscious, but happy to have someone who loved her so deeply.
Pow groaned, turning to face him so she could lay her head on his shoulder. “Mylo and Vi are being especially chatty today.”
Ekko rubbed her shoulder gently. “Well you can tell them I said they’re wrong. They can say what they want but they’ll never be right about you. You’re perfect.”
Don’t cry, you’re perfect
“Shut up Silco.” Ekko had said those words to her many times and Silco had been silent, so why was he coming back to taunt her now?
“Powder,” Ekko whispered, neglecting the potatoes to give her his attention. After a few years, she had reclaimed her identity as Powder, while still choosing to go by Pow under typical circumstances. She didn’t mind the name, not when it came out of Ekko’s mouth. Pow shook her head as Silco continued whispering in her ear, not quite loud enough to be understood, just loud enough to be annoying as hell.
“It’s fine, Ekko. I guess this is just how today’s going to be.”
“Should we get Maya to come watch the kids?”
Maya was a young woman who lived down the street from Pow and Ekko, one of the first people to meet them when they arrived here, in one of the few villages Ionia had; most of the country was nomadic and self sufficient. She was similar in age to the couple, only a few years older, and had a kid of her own that Idina had made friends with. In their first few years here, Pow’s hallucinations had gotten worse to the point where Idina, an only child and toddler at the time, had her own room at the woman’s house for when Pow became potentially violent. It was her idea; Pow knew that sometimes her broken mind took control and she refused to risk hurting her children.
“No, I’ll be okay. I’ll let you know if it gets worse.”
Ekko went back to the potatoes, making sure they wouldn’t burn. “Why don’t I contact her just in case? You haven’t had a bad day in a while and I don’t want things to go too downhill before she gets here.” Pow knew he was trying to help, but the voices didn’t care.
Because you’re a jinx!
All she does is get in the way.
Pow could feel Mylo looming behind her, felt his breath on her neck and his quiet whispers in her ear.
Don’t go hurting your kids now.
If Lora cried like that over a papercut, just imagine the screams when you go apeshit on her.
Pow sighed. It was gonna be a bad day.
———————————
“Pow Pow, can you help me finish up dinner?”
Pow was in the boys’ room, currently trying to change a screaming Rashi’s diaper. The child wasn’t normally so fussy, on the contrary he was the calmest of all four kids, but when he had woken from his nap, he was scalding hot to the touch and coughing up his lung. Pow held his flailing wrists down with one hand, using the other to try and slide a new cloth under the boy. She needed a third hand.
“Give me just a minute!”
Pow gave up on trying to hold Rashi down and used her forearm to keep him in place, leaving her with both hands to secure the diaper. She leaned down to try and keep the toddler calm. The second she got close, he vomited, leaving the front of her dress covered in bile.
The only thing possibly worse than the smell of baby vomit was the smell of smoke coming from the kitchen.
“Powder!! A little help?!” Ekko repeated, seeming agitated. Sounds like dinner was going to be bread and jelly again for tonight.
“Hang on!” She screamed back. The volume sent Rashi into another fit of squealing, and now Argus was crying too. The smoke smell only got stronger. To hell with it all. Pow took an old blanket, wiped most of the vomit off of her front, took Rashi in one arm and held Argus’s hand in the other, and walked out to the kitchen.
The soup on the stove had spilled, most of it leaking into the fire pit Ekko cooked over, hence the smoking, but the fire had been put out. Her husband was using a towel to fan at the smoke while Idina coughed in the living room.
“Could’ve used your help,” Ekko grumbled. He picked up the pot of soup from the ground beside the wood stove. “We have enough for the kids. We’ll just have to make do.”
“Sorry, Ekko, I was trying to change a sick, screaming toddler by myself and got puked on, so…slightly occupied.” Pow found herself feeling suddenly agitated, and she wondered if her monthly cycle was coming back around. The one part of being properly nourished that she hated. She didn’t see why it had to keep happening; she was 26 years old with four kids, she didn’t plan on having any more.
“He could’ve waited,” Ekko replied. Pow knew he was technically right, he had napped with his shitty diaper for probably a good hour before she had caught it, but she wasn’t in the mood to be scolded like a child.
“And you could’ve put out the fire before we lost our dinner, but I guess we’re both wrong.” Pow sighed. “Let’s just sit and eat. I think there’s some eggs in the cabinet I could make us.”
Pow took the two boys with her to the table, sitting Rashi in his high chair and Argus in his booster seat. Idina sat herself and Lora followed, both setting their own place at the table. Two mini Ekko’s, those girls, always wanting to be independent. Once the four kids were settled, Pow found Ekko by the stove, trying to wipe some of the vegetable chunks off of the wood. The rest would evaporate in time.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” Ekko whispered. “I’ve just been stressed these past few days. The factory’s been busy ever since Aditi quit.”
“Yeah, I remember you saying something about that. I’m going to change, then I’ll meet you at the table. Serve the kids and yourself first, I’ll take what’s left.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to go hungry.”
Pow kissed his cheek. “I’m covered in vomit. The smell alone is killing my appetite and that’s not to mention I can feel it soaking through my dress and dripping down my leg.”
Her husband laughed. Eight years together and it’s still her favorite sound in the world. “We grew up in alleys full of trash and rot, but baby puke is what gets you?”
“I’ve gotten too comfortable, I guess.”
Pow left Ekko to care for the kids while she went to their shared room, seeking a comfortable change of clothes. The dress left her a bit chilly, she noticed, so she opted for a pair of overalls and a thick shirt. She tossed the soiled dress in her trash can. She knew that vomit was one thing that you couldn’t clean out, no matter how hard you tried, the smell always lingered. She would come back to it later and cut off any salvageable fabric. She was always finding uses for stray cloth. When he had changed, she retwisted her hair behind her head. She normally wore it braided, a testament to Jinx, but Mylo had been breathing down her neck all day, and the thought of anything touching her neck made her shiver.
Pow heard two voices by the door when she left her room. One, Ekko. The other, someone she didn’t recognize. She made her way over beside Ekko, who seemed to be growing even more irritated with the man at the door.
“What’s going on?” Pow asked, discreetly placing herself between Ekko and the man outside.
The man outside held a single envelope in his hand. On it was their names: Ekko Daley and Jinx O’Connol. The name sent a tingle down her spine; Silco breathing life as he began to tease in the corner of Pow’s vision. “A letter from Piltover. That’s all I know.” He said.
Pow felt like she had been doused in freezing water, the chill travelling her arteries, turning her blood to ice. She ripped the letter out of the man’s hand, slamming the front door as she tore it in half, and half again.
“Powder—”
“WHAT?!” Pow’s hands shook, the whispers in her head growing to shouting. Her head hurt. Why did her head hurt? “They can’t—Vi needs to—shut UP!”
The family portrait Pow had commissioned fell to the floor as her fist struck the wall. She fell with it.
They want to kill you
Remember her name, Caitlyn, right? She’s not done with you
Go crawling back to daddy’s grave, Jinxy
“I’ll kill that bastard first!”
Ekko grabbed her fists, Pow could barely feel them striking her face. She tilted her head back to face the ceiling, wanting to release the pain but gritting her teeth, choking it down. She knew better. She recognized that she was starting to lose herself to the voices. She needed to breathe. She would not hurt her kids.
You already killed Isha
I bet she’d love to see you when you get back to Piltover
“Kids, go to your rooms. Now.” Ekko commanded from beside Pow.
She noticed Idina then, hiding in the kitchen doorway. Crying, clutching her stuffed monkey.
What if you killed her before you even made it to Piltover? You know what happens to any kid that likes you a little too much
She distantly noticed that Idina hadn’t moved, still keeping a watchful eye on her while she tried not to break something. She felt Lora’s presence lingering beside her.
Ekko sighed. “I need to get the kids to their rooms. Please don’t hurt yourself while I’m gone.” He reluctantly let go and stood up, walking over to Idina and leading her down the short hallway.
Do it, Jinx
Break the cycle before Idina turns out just like you
“I’m not doing that.” Pow laid on the floor with her hands pinned beneath her, a small effort to keep them from injuring herself or grabbing the broken pieces of drywall beside her. She would hold it together, even if the tears already gathered in her eyes. The shouting had turned to screaming, the bodies of everyone she killed looming above her. Pow couldn’t breathe. Silco, Claggor, Mylo, Vander the Beast. They all consumed the very air around her, leaving her gasping and choking. And there was another one, she noticed; a little girl with blue pigtails and a bowler hat.
“Isha—” what kind of sick joke? She had only seen Isha once, the night she was taken. Before Pow could say more, the little girl in orange started walking circles, one by one trying and failing to make the bodies go away. “What are you…”
Claggor faded first. He always had a soft spot for little kids, so when Isha said go, he went.
Mylo fought harder. But even he wasn’t immune to Isha’s charm. He went next. Pow realized what was going on; Isha was dispelling them. That pushed her over the edge, and the tears wouldn’t stop once they started. Just like her sister/first daughter to defend her until the end. She didn’t want to see this. This was torture in its own way; having to watch her daughter die for her a second time. She knew Vander wouldn’t hold back, he was nothing but soulless beast who existed only to kill. He wasn’t her father anymore. Isha wasn’t immune to him. She couldn’t watch him kill her any more than she could watch her kill him. Pow just closed her eyes, but the apparitions lingered still. Her hands freed themselves, independently of Pow, her broken fingers clawing her cheeks. She wanted to gouge out her eyes, her ears. She wanted it to stop.
“Powder, shit!” Ekko had her hands again. Where did Ekko come from, why was she seeing him? Why was he touching her? She hated when the ghosts touched her. She couldn’t hold back the screams anymore. Why couldn’t it stop, why couldn’t they stop?! “Pow-”
“Let go of me! Put me DOWN!” She was so exhausted. It didn’t matter how hard Isha fought, how badly Pow begged, Silco wasn’t leaving, Vi wasn’t leaving. When did Vi get there? Fuck this.
“Powder, you need to breathe.”
“You need to go back to whatever goddamn hole you crawled out of and stop bothering me. Why can’t you all just stay dead?! You’re all gone!”
“Breathe.”
Pow went limp, her energy spent. She was through. “Please…I can’t do it anymore. Just let me go. Please.”
“Breathe, Powder.” Still, Ekko lingered, long after the other ghosts had faded away. He sounded scared. Why was he scared?
“Seeing everyone else is enough. Why do I have to see you too?”
“Breathe.”
———————————
Pow felt like she was made of cotton. Fuzzy, thick, and floaty. Her heart rate had finally slowed down to a safe pace, and thank the gods, Silco and Vi were gone, along with the others. It took her a few moments to get a hold of her surroundings; the sitting room, by the front door. Laying on the floor, her hands in Ekko’s. She remembered. She remembered it all, but none of the memories seemed like they were really hers. They had to belong to somebody else.
“You back with me?” Ekko whispered. Pow didn’t have it in her to respond. Why was she so damn tired? “Pow?”
She closed her eyes. “Hmm?”
“There you are. How are you feeling?”
She tilted her head forward, leaning into his hip.
Why had she been triggered in the first place? The memories of her breakdown came back to her in pieces, individual snapshots. She hadn’t had one like that in years. That couldn’t have just happened. Something had to cause it, what? She couldn’t remember. Only one name rang through her mind.
“Vi?”
Ekko released her hands, moving one behind her, holding her between her shoulder blades, sitting her up. The other held her arm. Her forearm was oddly red. Strange. Her head fell onto her Boy Savior’s shoulder.
“She’s gone, Pow. She’s not real.” Ekko sounded as exhausted as she was. But even bone tired, he was the most gentle man in the world with her. He was scared, when he was in her head. He was still scared here. Was he even in her head? Had that been real the whole time? She had no idea. She wasn’t sure of much anymore.
Ekko’s head was turned when she looked up at him. He was facing the kitchen. Saying quite a few things, but she only caught the last few words: “she’s still waking up, I think.”
“Who’s here?” She whispered. Her throat was so sore. Had she caught Rashi’s flu?
A young woman sat down beside Ekko, one that Pow recognized immediately: Maya. Her bright blonde hair was easily distinguishable; Pow hadn’t known any other woman with hair like hers. She smiled at Pow, worry present in her eyes.
“Get some rest, Ekko. I can take care of her.”
Ekko shook his head rapidly. “No. That’s probably the worst thing I could do right now. You can stay, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“I can hear you guys, you know?” Pow asked. “Looks like Idina’s gonna be scared of me from now on.”
“No, she’s not scared at all.” Pow wanted to believe she was lying, but Maya was always very easy to read. She meant it, or at least she thought she did. “She’s just worried. She thought you got hurt and wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Pow looked around the room. She remembered holding something in her hand, it made her angry. The wall above her was punctured, blood slowly dripping from the fist-shaped hole in streams. Her hand was oddly sore, was that her? Her hand definitely looked broken when she held it up to look at it better. She ignored it. Beside her were a few torn pieces of paper. Silco tickled her again. It was this. Whatever this paper was made the voices angry.
“What is that?”
Ekko reached out impossibly fast, grabbing the paper from the floor. Sheesh. “Don’t worry about that. Best if you don’t remember.”
“Well now I have to know. Can’t trigger me twice I’m sure, worst case scenario I just pass out and sleep it off.”
Ekko rolled his eyes. “You already did pass out, Powder. You’re not risking brain damage so you can read a little letter.”
“Ah, so it’s a letter. Who’s it from? Vi, right? Why else would Silco and Vi have been so damn nuts? Even their ghosts hate each other, and holy shit it gets old.”
“Do you want me to stick around or should I go back to the kids? Lora was getting antsy, hearing you both out here.”
Ekko didn’t take his eyes off of Pow. He knew her too well by now; she had planned to make a grab for the paper as soon as his attention went elsewhere. “You can go be with the kids. Thank you so much for coming on short notice. If you come back tomorrow I’ll have a new bike geared up for Breeze.”
“You don’t have to Ekko, I promise I don’t mind helping out from time to time.”
“I have extra parts, I promise it’s no problem. I think I hear someone crying though, could you go check?”
“Of course.”
Once Maya had left the room, Pow asked again, “What did Vi want?”
Ekko looked back at the torn up papers. “She…she wants us to visit Piltover. Her and Caitlyn are getting married in a couple weeks. Wants us to be at the wedding, and to see the new Piltover. Says it’s amazing.”
Pow snorted. “Took her long enough. Can’t believe I got married six whole years before she did.”
Ekko tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. He didn’t look very thrilled with the idea. “You don’t want to go back.”
“It’s not that, necessarily.” Ekko set the torn up letter beside him, rubbing at his bad foot. All these years and it hadn’t healed, permanently fixed in a severely malunion posture. “I just don’t want to see everything. We’ve been through so much there, and I’m just…I’m scared to go back. I know it all happened a long time ago, but the nightmares are finally gone. It’s probably a bad time to say it but I haven’t had a flashback in months. I will always be there for you, but I don’t know that I want to experience that for myself.”
Pow took the hand that was absently massaging his ankle and held it in hers. She knew that he still secretly hoped it would heal, but she also knew that massaging it only hurt him, as much as he claimed it helped. “If you don’t want to go, then we don’t go. Simple as that. Vi and her Piltie have been together this long and haven’t been married yet, so something tells me the wedding is only a formality. Maybe we’ll just send them a card and call it a night.”
“You’re sure you don’t want to see your sister?”
“Listen, Hero Boy. We’re married. What you do, I do. And what you want, I want. I’m sure you’d say the same. I do love Vi, but you come first. We’ve sent each other cards before…well, she’s sent me cards, every Progress Day. But if you aren’t ready to go back, Vi will understand. And honestly, even if part of me might want to see her, I think tonight’s episode proved to both of us that I’m not ready either.”
Ekko’s lips found hers as soon as she finished speaking. Pow would never grow used to kissing him, every time felt like the very first, and she was addicted. He was gentle, as he had always been. It was only a split second, but she wished it would last forever. “Why don’t we think on it for a few days? I can sleep out here tonight if you want, in case the nightmares come back.”
“Nope. We’re both taking the bed. You helped me, so if you do have any tonight, it’ll be my turn to help you. Again, Ekko, it’s called marriage.”
“We should probably put the kids down to sleep first, then I’ll have you all to myself. I think I know of some ways to cheer us both up,” he said with a sly smirk.
“Ekko if you knock me up, I’m taking it all back and leaving you.”
Her husband laughed as he stood up, leaning heavily on his cane. She wondered if him sitting on the floor had somehow aggravated his ankle even more. She stood with him, rejecting the hand he offered so not to disturb his precarious balance. “Are you rejecting sex right now? Pow, you wound me.”
“Oh, shove it, Big Man. Let’s get the kids to bed.”
“I’ll show you what’s big.”
“Ekko, for the love of shit, I will lock you outside.”
———————————
Ekko had gone to sleep about an hour ago now, but Pow was still as alive as ever. She watched him quietly, watched his chest rise and fall with every heavy breath. Watched his neck faintly pulse with every beat of his heart, the blood coursing through that artery. Alive. Pow had spent many years thinking she was the jinx, the common denominator. Everyone who loved her died. Mylo, Claggor, Vander, her dad Connol and mom Felicia, Silco. Isha, her fifth, oldest child, who lived on in the small shrine in the corner of the bedroom. They had all loved her, and they had all died. Many, by her hand. When Pow came up with her plan to leave, she hadn’t initially planned to bring Ekko along. She loved him more than anything in the world, so much it sometimes pained her just to look his way. The thought of her curse following her across the world, killing him somehow because he dared to live in her presence, it was soul crushing. But just that once, she let herself hope that maybe the universe had deemed her suffering enough, and she had been blessed with a perfect family.
Pow got up silently, doing her best not to wake her husband. Her blue and violet ponytail brushed her bare back, only falling just above her waist. It could’ve been longer but Pow refused; she wasn’t Jinx anymore, why look like her? Ekko didn’t stir, even when Pow stubbed her toe on the doorframe, letting out a quiet curse. She walked out into the hall, going room by room, checking on her kids. Making sure they still breathed, as she did nearly every night. She then made her way out to the kitchen. It was nearly pitch black, aside from the street lamps outside the bay window by the stove. Pow found the letter easily enough, taped together on the counter. She took it, sitting in the window to get some light. She didn’t worry about anyone else seeing her nude, very few were awake at this hour and there was no one close by to see through the glass. In the warm light of the street lamps, Pow was barely able to make out the scrawled handwriting that was so distinctly Vi.
Hey, Little Man.
I know it’s been a little while since my last letter. But I hope you are doing well. I hope this time I actually get a response out of you, just so I know you’re getting these. I wanted to see if maybe you’d be interested in coming to visit. I know you wanted an escape from Piltover, and I hope you’ve found it, but to tell you the truth, I miss you, little dude. I miss Jinx too, I know she’s with you. I saw her message under your bed. But I promise you, Piltover’s changed, and I think you’d like it here. Cait and I have a wedding coming up really soon, and we’d both love to have you. Even if you can’t make it, we just wanted you to know that we still think of you often, and not a day goes by that we don’t wish you were still here. Tell my baby sis I love her. I still haven’t heard a word from her.
Violet O’Connol-Kiramman
Pow wiped the tears from her eyes. Even after all these years, she could still remember exactly the way Vi sounded. The way she looked. Pow had been so against the idea at first, but honestly, her curiosity was piqued. She wanted to know what this new Piltover was all about.
She wanted to be there for her sister’s wedding. She wanted to see what had become of her sacrifice, her hard work to put Zaun on the map and make a better life for the Zaunite people. Most of all, she just wanted to see the Last Drop again. Maybe talk Vi into rebuilding it so she could sit at the bar and have a drink like they all used to as kids. She wanted to go back to Piltover as Powder Daley, not as Jinx O’Connol. She cherished her maiden name; the Zaunite people tended not to have last names, as those didn’t matter if you weren’t a family of status. So when their parents passed, Vi made the decision for them both that they would name themselves after their late father, as most of their looks had come from their mother anyway. So they became the O’Connol’s, if only to themselves and a few close friends. That being Ekko, of course, among the rest of Vi and Pow’s adoptive family. Ekko had done the same, though later, after Vi had been arrested and Pow had become Jinx. He was so insistent on living day to day, not dwelling in the past, not putting all his hope in the future. So be because Ekko Daley, taking life as it came one day at a time. Pow cherished being an O’Connol, but she loved being a Daley just as much. It meant that she got to do life with her favorite person. She got to live one day at a time, no longer trapped in the past, and it made each and every day that much sweeter, carrying Ekko’s name with her.
Pow wanted it all, so badly. To reunite with her sister, to see her marry the love of her life, to release the ties that Jinx had on her for good. But if Ekko wasn’t ready, then she would respect him. She took his last name, and she would honor it. Honor him.
She put the letter back where she found it, grabbing a glass of water and returning to her room. Ekko was still asleep, but the contortion of his face and his stilted breathing told her that those nightmares he was worried about had begun to rear their ugly head. She sat on the bed beside him, holding his sweating hand as he heaved, small grunts escaping him. Her heart broke, seeing him like this. Even in terrible pain, he was always so quiet. Always forcing himself to put on a brave face and be strong for other people, not ever feeling his feelings. Though with time, he and Pow had both begun to release their unhealthy ways of coping. But old habits died hard, she supposed.
When Ekko finally woke up, finally freed himself from whatever hell he had witnessed in his sleep, Pow pulled him close. She knew the touch was grounding; it reminded him that he wasn’t there anymore, that he wasn’t alone in his pain. A single tear slid down his face as he caught his breath, drinking in air greedily.
“You okay, love?” Pow whispered.
Ekko coughed once. Looked towards Pow, then away instantly. He shook his head. “The bridge.”
That cursed day. It was one of the things Pow regretted most from her time as Jinx. Fighting Ekko, seeing the heartbroken look on his face as she lay bleeding below him, pulling out one of her signature bombs which should’ve killed them both. But here they both were. Ekko scarred mentally, this being one of his most frequent nightmares, and Pow physically, her eyes Shimmer pink, the drug being the only thing that stood a chance of saving her that night. Mylo’s face teased at her, but she snapped at him mentally, not wanting to speak aloud and alert Ekko of his presence. This was about him, not her. Thankfully Mylo listened and backed off. They had been better about that most days, disappearing when told. Pow shifted her focus back to Ekko, who held Pow tight.
“I’m here, love. We’re both alive. And I promise I will never turn into her again.”
Ekko nodded, not saying a word. The two simply sat in silence, the only sound the ticking of Ekko’s wrist watch and their synchronous breathing.
“Lay down,” Pow said after several minutes. “I’ll be the big spoon for tonight.”
“You’re tiny next to me,” Ekko argued, no heat behind his words.
“Well I wanna do it anyway. You know you like it.”
“I hate that you’re right.”
He did as told, and Pow nuzzled up behind him, wrapping an arm around his bare chest, broken hand wrapped in a rather itchy bandage, the other up beside his head. She ran her fingers along Ekko’s scalp, rubbing circles on his skin beneath his unbound hair. Pow would have to do it tomorrow for their biweekly hair day. For Pow to wash and weave a handsome style into Ekko’s hair, and for him to refresh her violet bangs. They had made it their thing all those years ago, dating back to the night Ekko stopped her from doing something that she regretted even thinking about now, and they kept it up every two weeks since. She noticed Ekko would also need his blonde refreshed; his dark roots were getting long.
“I love you, I hope you know that. The girl in your dream…she was messed up. But she’s gone now.”
“I know. But I want you to know that I loved her too. She’s still you, she was just trying to sort out the shitty hand she was dealt. But why do you think I hesitated, even when I had you? I loved you, and I hated seeing you scared of me.” Ekko nuzzled into Pow’s hand as it massaged his head. “I love all of you. Not just Pow. I loved Powder, I loved Jinx, and I love Pow. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. You and the munchkins. All five of them.”
Pow sighed with a smile, following Ekko’s gaze to the shrine in the corner. “Even if she never had the chance to meet you, she would’ve loved to be your daughter.”
———————————
“I want to go to Piltover—”
“I know you don’t want to but—”
The two both paused, stopping to stare at each other before laughing loud enough to have likely woken all four kids. Their coffees sat steaming in front of them, Pow’s black with a teaspoon of sugar, and Ekko’s sweetened with vanilla cream. Ekko broke first.
“I do want to go to Piltover. I miss everyone, and last night made me realize that if we just keep hiding from it forever, all we’ll ever have is the trauma. I want to make some good memories there too. Of course there is the fun we had when we were little, but I’m afraid that was pretty overshadowed by everything that happened after Vander.”
“By fun you mean building go-karts and fucking with the enforcers? Punching at air in alleys because we both wanted to fight like Vi but we’re both awful fighters?”
Ekko grinned. Those were very fun days. “And of course sneaking into each others homes.”
Pow smiled. She took a long sip of her coffee, magenta eyes shining with mischief. “I wanna go too. After you went to sleep, I snuck out here and read that letter. It’s nice to know that Vi misses me, that all those times she said she loved me, it wasn’t just some ploy to keep me from shooting her or whatever. And I guess I just want to know that all the work we did in our respective groups paid off, that Piltover is rebuilt and Zaun is thriving.”
Ekko took Pow’s hands in his,delicate to avoid stressing her broken hand. “I couldn’t agree more. It’ll be hard, I’ll admit that much, but it’ll be nice. Only thing is, what about the kids?”
“I don’t see why we can’t bring them. Vi never said we couldn’t.”
Ekko grimaced. He avoided her eyes as he took a sip of his own coffee. It clicked for Pow. “Does she…not know about the kids?”
“Pow Pow, she doesn’t even know we’re together. She’s knows you and I are physically present in each other’s lives, but I don’t believe I’ve sent her more than one letter. She doesn’t know we’re married, let alone that we have kids. We could bring them, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, but it would be quite a shock. Not like we can send her a letter in advance; we would probably beat it there.”
Pow cackled. “Oh, she’s gonna be in for a shock. She loved Isha, she’ll be fine with these four.”
“What’s going on?” Idina asked from the doorway. She had always been a light sleeper like Ekko.
“Sit down, kiddo.” Ekko patted the chair beside him. He reached beside him for the coffee pot, offering Idina a mug. She declined, though more often than not she liked to join her parents for a quiet morning and coffee. “We got a letter from your aunt yesterday.”
Idina’s eyes widened. “Is that why Mom was so upset?”
Pow frowned, looking down at the table. Gods, she hated herself sometimes. The worst part about her shattered mind is seeing how much it scared her kids. Back in Zaun, back when she was Jinx, she embraced the fear that her instability caused. It made her a threat, and that meant thugs would think twice before messing with her. It meant she had a greater chance of staying safe. It meant that people would hear her name and run, so they wouldn’t get too close and seal their own fate. But now, when the only people to witness were her babies, it only made her hurt. She felt guilty even when Isha had to witness her fits, but Isha was a street rat like her, used to rolling with the punches. These kids had only ever known calm and stability, something that Pow and Ekko had torn themselves apart to make sure of. She prayed to Janna daily, that her healing wind would blow the ghosts away, out of her mind, so that they couldn’t take control and affect her kids, and every day she was disappointed.
“Yes, part of it. Your mom hasn’t seen her sister in a long time, since way before you were born, and they used to fight. But your aunt is getting married, and she wants to see us.” Ekko said for her.
“Listen, Ina,” Pow continued. “Your aunt Vi…she doesn’t know about you guys. The last time her and I spoke…it was pretty clear to us both that we’d probably never speak to or see each other again. She doesn’t know much about our family. So if you would prefer, you four can stay with aunt Maya while Dad and I are gone, and we would see you again in about three weeks. Or you could come with us. Your brothers and Lora are a bit too young to decide, but we trust you to choose. What do you want?”
Idina answered nearly immediately, to Pow’s shock. She was normally one to think on things, like her father, wanting to know every detail before making a decision. “I want to go with you.”
“It’s a four day trip, you’re sure you can handle that?” Pow asked. She knew she would want to know.
“Yes. I wanna meet Aunt Vi.”
Ekko downed the last of his stupidly sweet coffee and stood up. “Let’s get ready then. I’m sure I could get the Kiramman’s blimp up and running by tonight. Pow, could you get the kids and I packed up while I work?”
Pow nodded, choosing to finish her coffee slowly. Idina changed her mind and decided she wanted some as well. By the time she finished, the other kids were up and wandering the house. Pow had their bags packed in a matter of minutes. She was ready to see Vi.