Lessons with a dash of jealousy
Naruto walked slowly down the street, lost in thought.
In the past three weeks, Iruka had taken him on several sightseeing tours. They had gone to a wax museum. Naruto had been surprised to learn that the museum had been founded in 1776. He had been fascinated by the lifelike wax figures of the famous and the infamous, repulsed by the Chamber of Horrors that depicted gruesome scenes from the Battle of Trafalgar.
Iruka had taken him to see St. Paul's Cathedral, which was over a hundred years old. The dome had been breathtaking, the nave a thing of exquisite beauty.
Naruto had stared in wonder at Westminster Abbey. It was there, in that magnificent edifice, that all the kings and queens of England had been crowned.
They had gone to see the Tower of London, where two of Henry VIII's wives had been executed, as well as Sir Thomas More and William Penn. Naruto had shivered as he imagined being imprisoned in the Tower of London to await his execution. He had imagined the fear of kneeling on the gallows, of waiting for the axe to fall.
They had walked through the Traitor's Gate, seen the Bloody Tower and the Wakefield Tower.
They had toured Trafalgar Square, watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, and all the while Naruto had wished it was Sasuke walking beside him, showing him the sights.
London was an amazing city, so different from the quiet village where he had spent most of his life. So filled with activity and noise—the incessant sound of wheels and horses' hooves making their way over the pavement, the bell of the muffin man, the cries of street peddlers who sold everything from eggs to knives, dolls, rat poison and books. Street urchins were everywhere, carrying packages, holding horses for finely clad gentlemen, fetching cabs, or doing cartwheels in the street in hopes of earning a half penny.
Now Naruto paused to peer into one of the shop windows. It seemed strange to be out on his own, without Iruka hovering in the background. He had gone off on an errand of some kind, and he had grabbed at the chance to go out alone. No doubt Iruka would be angry with him when he got back to the hotel, but Naruto hadn't gone far and wouldn't be gone long.
The blond tilted his head to one side, admiring a smart trilby hat displayed in the window of a shop. It was a fashionable thing, but he didn't need another hat; he had bought several in the last few weeks. But Naruto wanted this one, and there was no reason why he shouldn't have it. Sasuke had given him carte blanche to buy whatever he wished.
He was about to enter the shop when he saw Neji Hyuuga striding down the street towards him. Women and men on both sides of the street paused to look at Neji as he passed by, and Naruto couldn't blame them. Old or young, they turned to watch Neji as he walked towards him. He cut quite a dashing figure in his hunter green coat, mustard waistcoat, and buff coloured breeches. The sun gilded his hair, making him look very much like the prince his siblings had once thought him to be.
"Naruto!" he exclaimed, catching both his hands in his. "How nice to see you. And how very handsome you look." He smiled at him, his eyes twinkling. "What a fantastic suit."
Naruto flushed with pleasure as Neji’s gaze moved over him in a boldly admiring glance. "Thank you, Neji. It's good to see you, too."
He nodded toward the shop window. "See something you like?"
Naruto nodded. "That one," he said, pointing."The sharp looking trilby."
"Then you should have it." Neji smiled at the blond as he offered his arm.
"I really don't need another hat," he said, but he didn't argue as Neji led him into the shop.
Neji plucked the hat from the window, then stood to one side, his arms crossed over his chest, while Naruto tried it on. The shopkeeper, a rather buxom woman with curly grey hair, beamed at the prospect of a sale as Naruto admired himself in the mirror.
"It's perfect, my lord. Imported from France." The shopkeeper slid a glance at Neji, and Naruto knew the woman thought Neji and he were a couple. "It suits him well, don't you think so my lord?”
“Indeed,” Neji said. "We’ll take it." Naruto met Neji’s gaze in the mirror, and shook his head. "No Neji.”
“I want to,” Neji protested and ignoring Naruto’s protests, he paid for the hat, insisting he wear it.
Feeling lighthearted, Naruto blushed, adjusting the hat over his hair.
"Come," Neji said, taking Naruto by the arm, "let's go have tea so everyone can see how handsome you look in your new chapeau."
Naruto shook his head. "I'd like to, really, but I can't."
"Of course you can."
"I need to get back." He glanced at the setting sun. Sasuke would be waking soon. He would expect Naruto to be there. "Sasuke will be…”
"Sasuke will be what?"
"Waiting for me."
"Let him wait, Naruto. A little jealousy is good for a man."
"Is it?" Naruto asked dubiously.
"One cup of tea," Neji urged. "What can it hurt?"
"I can't, Neji. Please, I must go."
"What's he done to you, Naruto?" Hyuuga asked, his voice sharp with concern. "You're his partner, not his slave. You're entitled to a life of your own, friends of your own."
"You don't understand..."
"I had hoped to be more than your friend, Naruto," Neji said quietly. "But that's not possible now."
"Neji, you mustn't say these things to me. It isn't proper." Naruto shook his head, frowning slightly.
"I know, and I'm sorry. But I can't help the way I feel." Neji took Naruto’s hand in his, his thumb sliding back and forth across his knuckles. "Please don't deny me the pleasure of a few minutes of your company."
Naruto knew he should refuse, knew Sasuke would be angry if he found out, but he couldn't ignore the gentle pleading in Hyuuga's eyes, or rebuff his offer of friendship.
"Very well," Naruto said. "But I must be back at the hotel before dark."
"You will be. I promise," Neji said with a smile.
They spent a pleasant hour talking about trivial things. Naruto told Neji about his tour of the city; Neji told him about the new carriage he had purchased, together with a pair of high stepping matched greys to pull it.
Feeling relaxed and at ease in his presence, Naruto forgot about the time until he realised the sun had set. "I'll be late!" he exclaimed.
"I'll walk you back to the hotel."
"No! Goodbye, Neji. Thank you for the hat, and the tea." Jumping to his feet, he grabbed his bags and ran out of the café.
His heart was pounding, his brow sheened with perspiration, when he reached the hotel. Forcing himself to take a deep calming breath, he opened the door to their bedroom and stepped inside.
Sasuke was standing at the window, looking out. He turned around as he closed the door. His dark gaze swept over him from head to heel.
"I'm sorry I'm late," Naruto said. Tossing his bags on a chair, he smoothed his shirt, removed his jacket. "Where's Iruka? I should like to order supper."
"I've ordered for you."
"Oh?" Naruto clasped his hands to still their trembling. "Thank you."
"Where have you been?"
"Shopping. I... I got a new hat. Do you like it?" Sasuke nodded, his dark stare fixed upon his face. "I think I'll freshen up."
"You cannot wash away your lies, Naruto."
He swallowed hard, his fingers worrying at the cuffs of his shirt. "Lies, my lord?"
"You've been with Hyuuga again."
There was no point in denying it. "Yes. We took tea together."
"Where?"
Sasuke was watching him intently, his dark eyes unblinking. His very stillness intimidated him. "In a little tea room just down the street. Across from a quaint hat shop."
Black eyes narrowed ominously as Sasuke crossed the room, and then he was standing in front of him, so close Naruto could feel the heat of his breath upon his face. "Did he buy you the hat?"
Naruto swallowed against the fear congealing in his throat. "Wh... why do you ask?"
"His scent is on the hat, on your hands. Did he buy it for you, Naruto?"
"He saw me admiring it in the window and bought it for me. I didn't want him to, but he insisted."
A muscle clenched in Sasuke’s chiselled jaw. Naruto had spent time with Hyuuga. Alone.
"Nothing happened," Naruto said. He laid a placating hand on Sasuke’s arm. "We had tea, that's all. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke. Please forgive me."
Sasuke turned away from the blond, not wanting him to see the jealousy that was eating at his soul. "There's nothing to forgive. You're not a prisoner here, Naruto. It's unfair of me to expect you to lock yourself in this room until nightfall."
"Oh, Sasuke." Naruto closed the distance between them. Slipping his arms around Sasuke’s waist, he laid his cheek against the dark lord’s back, wishing he could ease the hurt he had caused.
"I'm sorry," Sasuke said stiffly.
"You've nothing to be sorry for."
"I want to kill him," Sasuke said gruffly. "I'm jealous of every hour, every minute, you spend with anyone else."
"There's nothing for you to be jealous of. Neji is just a friend, nothing more. That's all he'll ever be.”
"I know." Sasuke took a deep breath and released it in a long, slow sigh. "I've never been in love before," he said, as if confessing a guilty secret. "I look at Hyuuga and see what I might have been had I not lusted after Fuuka. What's the good of living four hundred years if one has to live alone?"
One of his hands covered Naruto’s, his thumb tracing aimless patterns across the back of the tanned hand.
"When I was young, I had dreams of glory. I was the finest knight of the realm. I had a name men respected and feared. I had lands and riches, my pick of desirable men and women. I could have had a good life, a wife, children. But I threw it all away to chase a woman who looked like an angel and turned out to be the spawn of the devil."
"I'm sorry, Sasuke, so sorry." Naruto kissed the faint hollow between his shoulder blades. "But I said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm glad you're a vampire. If you'd never met Fuuka, you would have died hundreds of years ago, and I would never have met you."
Naruto walked around to stand in front of the dark lord. "I love you, my lord husband," he said fervently. "I'm glad you bought me. You've given me a wonderful education, provided for my family far better than Chiyo was able. I love you," he said again."No one but you."
With a sigh, Sasuke drew Naruto into his arms and held him close. "You have no idea how much you mean to me, Naruto," he murmured, "and I fear there aren't words enough to tell you. Forgive me for my jealousy. I have no excuse except that I've never loved anyone before."
Naruto stood on tiptoe, wanting to kiss him, to reassure him, only to draw back as there was a knock at the door.
"Your supper is here," Sasuke said.
"I'll get it." He pressed a quick kiss to Sasuke’s cheek, then went to open the door.
A young man dressed in hotel livery handed him a covered tray. "Will there be anything else, my lord?"
"No, thank you." Closing the door, he carried the tray to the table. "Will you sit with me while I eat?"
With a nod, Sasuke crossed the floor and sat down opposite him.
"You never told me where Iruka is."
"He asked for the night off."
"Oh?" Naruto lifted the tray, and the aroma of roast mutton and potatoes filled the room.
"Naruto.”
Blue eyes looked up, smile fading. "What?"
Sasuke looked at him for a long moment, then slowly shook his head. "You make me ashamed of what I am."
"Ashamed? Why?"
Sasuke shook his head. How could he explain it when he didn't understand it himself? He had thought himself long since resigned to what he was. He forced himself to drink the blood of sheep when it gave him no pleasure, denying what he craved, denying what he was. He shut himself up in Castle Uchiha, or in one of his other holdings, keeping out of the way of mortals, protecting them even as he shut himself up in a prison of his own making. He had been proud of himself for learning to control the fierce hunger that drove him, pleased that he no longer had to kill to feed, that he had found a measure of peace within himself.
And then he had bought Naruto and realised anew how vast was the gulf between himself and the rest of the world. Naruto’s goodness and light emphasised the darkness that dwelled within him.
And he was ashamed of the lives he had taken, the blood he had spilled, the evil that slept restlessly within him, under control but never completely vanquished. He still could not believe that Naruto loved him, knew he was unworthy of his affection.
Just this one year. Please, just let me have this one year, and then I'll let him go.
"Sasuke, talk to me." Naruto’s voice broke the air.
"There's nothing to talk about."
“You’re brooding again, worrying about me, about us, aren't you?” Naruto narrowed his eyes at the other.
"I think you begin to know me too well."
"Has there been no happiness in your life these past four centuries?"
Sasuke sat back, his expression thoughtful, and then he nodded. "Of course."
"Tell me about those times."
With a sigh, he began to tell Naruto of his past.
In the beginning, after he had learned to control the hunger, when he had come to terms with what he was, he had travelled the world. The jungles of Africa, the wonders of Egypt. He had toured France and Spain and Greece, spent a year in South America wandering through the ruins of an ancient culture. During that long time ago, he had learned to read and gained an appreciation for the written word.
Sasuke had learned to appreciate fine art, had developed a love for music, for the theatre. He had courted many beautiful men and women, though he had allowed none to get close to him. And when he tired of being a vagabond, he had come back here, to the land of his birth, to the place where, one fateful night, his life had been changed forever.
He had been a vampire for a hundred years when he'd bought the castle at the top of Fire Mountain and withdrawn from the rest of the world. And every twenty or thirty years thereafter, when people began to wonder about him, he had taken his leave. But he always returned to this place.
Naruto sat back, sighing. "You've seen so much," he murmured. "Done so much." He shook his head. "I should think you would be glad for the opportunities you've had."
Sasuke grunted softly. "Indeed." How like the blond, he thought, to be able to see the good and ignore the rest. Perhaps he had survived too long. Perhaps it was time to end it before the bitterness growing inside him devoured him.
Jaw clenched, he stood up and reached for his cloak.
"Where are you going?" Blue eyes blinked in surprise.
"Out." Sasuke gestured at the plate. "You've had your dinner, and now I must go hunt my own. Something thick and hot."
"You're doing it again," Naruto said accusingly. "Trying to shock me, to make me think you're some kind of monster. Why? Why do you keep doing that?"
"It's what I am." Sasuke ran a hand through his dark locks, guilt and regret and self reproach rising up within him. Naruto brought out the best in him, he thought ruefully, and the worst, as well. He wanted to be worthy of Naruto’s love and yet, for some perverse reason he didn't understand, he found himself trying to provoke hatred from him.
"Very well, my lord," Naruto said angrily. Pushing the tray away, he got to his feet, rounded the table, and stood in front of him. "You think yourself a monster." Naruto tilted his head to the side, exposing the curve of his throat. "Prove it."
Sasuke looked at him as if he had gone mad. "What are you doing?"
"I want you to prove to me what a monster you are. Go on, rip out my throat. Drink your fill."
He stared down at the blond, his nostrils filling with the scent of his anger. He could hear the blood thrumming in his veins, hot and heavy, and hear the rapid beat of his heart. Black eyes locked on the pulse beating in the hollow of the blond’s throat. He licked his lips, remembering the sweet taste of Naruto’s blood on his tongue.
"I'm waiting." The blond stared back at him, his blue eyes daring him to take what he was offering.
He felt his fangs lengthen, and felt their sharpness against his tongue. His breathing grew harsh, his hands clenched into fists as he felt the hunger rise up within him, urging him to wrap the blond in his embrace, to drink and drink and drink.
It's what you are, the hunger urged. Why fight it any longer?
Sasuke’s hands reached for the blond. As if they belonged to someone else, he watched his fingers curl over Naruto’s shoulders. He was so fragile, he could easily break the human in two. Slowly, he drew Naruto closer, closer, until his face filled his vision. His eyes were wide, deep blue pools filled with love and compassion and acceptance.
Sasuke took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of fear. It struck him with the force of a mortal blow, overpowering the hunger within him.
"Naruto." With a harsh sob, he sat down. Drawing the blond into his lap, he crushed the heated body against him. "You foolish boy."
"You only proved I was right, my lord," he said while his hand caressed the dark lord’s cheek. "You're not a monster at all."
Naruto glanced over his shoulder as the door swung open and Iruka entered the room.
"Ah," Iruka said, clearing his throat. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to disturb you.
"It's all right," Sasuke said. He set Naruto on his feet and stood up. "I was just going out."
"Will you be needing anything else this evening?"
"No, Iruka. Good night."
"Good night, my lords." With a bow, he went into the small room that adjoined their suite and closed the door.
"You've said you don't like the blood of sheep,” Naruto remarked. "Why don't you take what you need from me instead?"
Sasuke shook his head. "No." His voice was harsh, not with anger, but gratitude.
"And if I were to insist?"
"No, Naruto. I would not use you so." There might be a time when he would need Naruto’s blood to survive, a time when he might need more than the very small amount he allowed himself when they made love, but he would not drink from Naruto as he drank from others, would not use him to satisfy his hunger, tempting as it might be.
Naruto placed his hands flat against Sasuke’s chest. "Would you let me eat locusts and ants if it was unnecessary, my lord?"
"It's not quite the same thing, my sweet," Sasuke said ruefully.
"Please don't refuse me, Sasuke. It's something I want to do for you. Something I need to do."
At a loss for words, Sasuke only shook his head.
"Sasuke.”
"No, Naruto. I'm grateful for your offer, more grateful than you'll ever know, but I cannot accept."
Naruto studied the dark lord’s face, wondering why he was being so stubborn. "Very well," he finally said. "But the offer stands."
Sasuke nodded. "I shan't be gone long," he said, and gathering his cloak, he left the room.
Naruto was asleep when he returned. It had taken him longer than usual to find someone suitable for his purposes; after he had quenched his hunger, he had walked through the park, comfortable in the darkness.
Now, he stood at the foot of the bed, watching the blond for a long while, marvelling anew at his generosity of spirit. No other person in all the world would make such an offer, he mused, and he loved Naruto the more for it. In desperate times, he had taken blood from Iruka, but that was in payment of an old debt. Naruto had offered out of love.
With a sigh, he went to stand in front of the fireplace, his arm braced against the mantle as he stared into the cold hearth. A fire sprang to life at the blink of his eye and he stared, unseeing, into the flames.
Who would have thought that one young man could make such vast changes in his life in such a short time? How would he ever let Naruto go?