Was it worth the truth?
Sasuke didn't join him at supper the next night.
Naruto couldn't help feeling relieved. He wasn't ready to face lord Sasuke again, not until he understood what had happened between them, until he could make sense of the strange vision he had seen while Sasuke was kissing him.
After spending a few minutes toying with his food, he pushed the plate aside and left the dining room, wandering through the downstairs until he came to the library.
With a sigh, he ran his gaze over the books lining the walls, but none appealed to him. And then, as if it were inevitable, he found himself in Sasuke’s study. He had never gone there without Sasuke before, and he couldn't help feeling he was trespassing as he wandered around the room.
And then he saw it, a small book sitting on Sasuke’s desk. Curious, he picked it up and thumbed through the pages. Most were blank, but a few had writing on them.
Mesmerized by the words, he sat down, hardly aware that Iruka entered the room a short time later and laid a fire in the hearth.
The book was written in a bold hand and Naruto knew, without knowing how he knew, that Sasuke had written the words, dark words, troubling words...
During the night, I am the creature before you, pale and tall and straight dark eyes firing toward you gliding, lifting, steering, directing I am the silent and the powerful a moonlit field of smooth, untouched snow.
But he,
Yes, him, the other me
Oh, he would tremble in your grasp, his lily hand would crumble to your touch, he would twist to press your lips to his, he would stroke your silken cheek and slide his corroded lips along your dovelike neck.
Not I, you understand, the other me, he who squints and hesitates and weakens in the daylight.
Naruto’s heart was pounding erratically as he turned the page to the next poem.
I can feel it coming through the tears in the darkness, quickly approaching as I conceal myself, quaking underneath the shadows in the light.
Shivers ripple my moist skin. The urgent itching on the surface tormenting me, keeping me locked in. I run my tongue over my lips.
And I am found, as always.
Then it begins
My resistance bleeds away and I am filled with the emptiness of my being. Awareness is replete.
The trial is ended.
Sated by the shattering my knowing why and left alive for the next visit
The darkness has taken a piece of my soul.
Naruto closed the book and stared into the flames dancing merrily in the hearth as he tried to understand what he had read.
‘Lord Sasuke is a man compelled by dark appetites, young master.’ Naruto heard Iruka's voice in the back of his mind. ‘ He is driven by forces you cannot comprehend… You would be wise to leave this place and never come back.’
Last night, he had decided Iruka was right. He had tried to leave the castle early that morning, only to find that all the doors were locked. He had gone looking for Iruka, but, for once, the elder brunette was nowhere to be found.
Now, sitting in front of the fire, Naruto’s whole body tensed as a chill skittered down his spine.
Sasuke was here.
Naruto had heard no sound to betray Sasuke’s presence, no footsteps as the dark lord entered the room, but suddenly he was there, a tall figure clad all in black. He stood before the hearth, the fire crackling behind him. Like a demon rising from the bowels of hell.
One black brow rose in amusement. "A demon, Naruto?" The blond heard the rueful smile in his voice. "You are more right than you know.” Naruto tried to think of something clever to say, but nothing came to mind. Like a bird trapped by a hungry cat, he could only stare at the dark lord, waiting for him to strike him down even as he wondered how Sasuke had known what he was thinking.
Sasuke glanced at the book in the blond’s hands, wondering how much he had read, if Naruto understood the connection between his dark words and the blackness in his soul.
"You're afraid of me now, aren't you?" he asked, knowing Naruto’s fear had nothing to do with what he had read and everything to do with what had passed between them the night before.
Naruto couldn't speak past the lump in his throat.
"Aren't you?" Sasuke’s voice was sharp, demanding.
"Yes, my lord." Naruto crossed his arms over his chest. "I should like very much to go home now."
"Would you?"
The blond nodded vigorously. "Yes, please. Please…” Tears filled his eyes and spilled down tanned cheeks. "Please let me go home."
The sight of the tears smothered his anger.
Murmuring his name, Sasuke reached for him, drawing the blond out of the chair and into his arms. The book fell unnoticed, to the floor.
“I will not hurt you, Naruto,” he said quietly. "Please believe me."
"No. I just want to go home. Please, my lord, please let me go home.” Naruto pleaded quietly, breathlessly.
"Naruto... sweet Naruto." Gently, he caressed a tanned cheek.
Naruto flinched at the touch, as though fearing Sasuke would strike him. Once, Sasuke had wanted the blond to be afraid of him, to be wary for his own sake. Now, the knowledge that Naruto was afraid of him burned into his soul, as painful as the touch of the sun on his preternatural flesh.
"Naruto, I warned you once to go while you could. Now I fear it is too late." Sasuke shook his head with regret. "I find I cannot let you go."
Blue eyes gazed up at Sasuke, his face blurred by his tears. Even so, he could see the loneliness that haunted those dark beautiful eyes, the sadness that he had once yearned to wipe away.
Slowly, Sasuke lowered his head, and Naruto felt the touch of his lips, cool, gentle. Arms held him lightly, with warm affection. Would the dark lord let him go if he stepped away?
Heart pounding, Naruto drew away and took a step backward. And Sasuke let him go, his arms falling to his sides, his eyes dark with an inner torment Naruto could not fathom.
"You once begged me to let you stay," Sasuke whispered, his voice moving over him like a dark wind. "Now I am begging you."
Naruto felt the tears dry on his cheeks. "I've changed my mind."
"Too late, Naruto. Shall I go down on my knees and plead with you, my sweet?"
"No!" Naruto could not bear to think of Sasuke kneeling at his feet, his arrogance humbled, his pride broken.
"Won't you take pity on me, my sweet Naruto? A year is not so long, after all."
"And if I stay, will you let me go when the year is up?"
"You have no choice, Naruto. You will stay."
"Then why are you asking me? I don't understand." Naruto shook his head, confused.
"I want you to stay with me of your own free will. I want your company to see me through the long lonely nights. I want to see your smile, hear your voice, your laughter." Sasuke smiled ruefully, as if he had discovered a truth about himself, one he did not like. "I need you."
He needs you, young master. He needs you, and he doesn't like it. Naruto heard the echo of Iruka's voice in his mind again.
"Will you stay with me, Naruto?"
He wanted to say no. He wanted to go home. But Naruto found he could not refuse the dark lord. "Yes."
"Because you want to?"
Naruto nodded again, surprised by the discovery that he did, indeed, want to stay.
.
.
.
Stepping into the inner chamber of the east tower, Iruka laid out a change of clothing for Sasuke, then gathered up his master's dirty laundry and linen.
"Thank you, Iruka. That will be all."
Iruka turned to go, then hesitated in the doorway. Taking a deep breath, he turned around. "I've never known you to be deliberately cruel before."
"I've never known you to care before." Sasuke retorted immediately, raising a brow at the man.
"Naruto is a fine lad. I'd not see him destroyed."
"Is that what you think I'm going to do?"
"Isn't it?" Iruka's eyes widened in worry.
"Have I destroyed any of the others?"
"Naruto's not like the others, and you know it. You'll not be able to hide what you are from him forever, my lord. Naruto cares for you too much to be deceived for long.”
"Yes, he does." Sasuke turned away from the accusation in the other man's eyes. Even after he had pleaded with Naruto to stay, he hadn't expected the blond to agree. Last night, he had been terrified of him, of the dark images that had flooded his mind when they kissed, a vision conjured up by his touch, and by the wine he had sipped from his glass. Sasuke could end all Naruto’s fears, bind the blond to him so that he would want only him. He had only to initiate him, and Naruto would do anything he asked, stay with him for as long as he lived, and be miserable when they were apart.
"Let me take Naruto home, my lord."
"No."
"It's wrong to keep him here."
Slowly, Sasuke turned around, his gaze locking on that of his servant.
Fear took hold of Iruka, the same cold, paralyzing fear that had engulfed him the first time he had looked into the vampire's eyes some fifty years before. How clearly he remembered that night. He had been knifed in a street fight and left for dead behind one of the gambling halls, his life slipping away drop by crimson drop when a dark cloud overshadowed him. He had felt a sharp stabbing pain in his neck, and then a voice, low, seductive, had offered to save him.
Desperate to live, Iruka had watched, uncomprehending, as the stranger hovering over him had made a slit in his own wrist, then pressed his bleeding flesh to Iruka's lips. A few drops of the stranger's thick dark blood had miraculously revived him. In exchange for his life, Iruka had sworn to serve Sasuke as long as he drew breath.
It had been, for the most part, a good life. He had never wanted for food or shelter or been denied anything else he had desired. But Sasuke owned him, body and soul. It was a fact he forgot on occasion.
But there was no forgetting now.
"Do not interfere," Sasuke warned.
And in the back of his mind, Iruka heard the unspoken threat: I gave you your life. I can take it back again.
"Will that be all, my lord?" Iruka asked. At his master's curt nod, he started toward the door.
"Iruka."
"Yes, my lord?"
"I will not harm him."
Iruka nodded. It was a promise, and an apology, all in one.
=======================================================================================
"I don't understand your decisions at times," Kakashi said. He didn't look up from the knives he was sharpening. "You sure you want to stay with that man?”
"He asked me to stay," Naruto replied, bending the truth only a little. "Lord Sasuke's been kind to me, to us. How could I refuse?"
Naruto glanced past Kakashi to where Iruka was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He had insisted on accompanying him. To protect him, he had said, but he knew better. Iruka was there to make sure he returned to the castle by nightfall.
Kakashi hesitated. “The children were happy you were here, but, who am I to tell you what to do?” He grinned and started dragging the blade once more along the strip of leather.
"It's only for a year, after all." Only a year, he thought, and already a month was gone.
"Will he let you come to Hinata's wedding?"
"Of course," Naruto replied brightly, though inwardly, he wasn't sure.
Kakashi just gazed at the boy, as if he knew Naruto wasn’t being completely truthful.
"I've got to go," Naruto said. "Tell the children I'm sorry I missed them. I'll see everyone at the wedding."
Kakashi nodded his head and followed Naruto to the door. He winked at the smaller brunette man whose cheeks reddened before he huffed and followed after the blond. Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight and waved.
Outside, Iruka opened the door to the carriage, giving his hand to Naruto. Then, taking his place on the seat, he took up the reins and clucked to the horse.
"Your guardian is quite… interesting," Iruka remarked.
Naruto slid a glance in his direction, surprised by Iruka’s observation, and more surprised that he had voiced it aloud. "Do you think so?"
Iruka nodded as he turned the horse onto the road. "He seems compassionate about the care of the children, and you."
"Thank you." Naruto folded his hands in his lap and sat back, enjoying the beauty of the countryside as they passed by. "Have you ever been married?"
"No, young master."
"How long have you been with Lord Sasuke?"
Iruka hesitated. "A very long time."
"Surely he wouldn't object if you had a family of your own."
"I'm afraid it's not possible."
Not possible, Naruto mused. What an odd way to phrase it. "Why do I never see Sasuke during the day?"
"I couldn't say, young master."
"But you know, don't you?"
"Would you like to stop in the village for anything?" Iruka asked, blatantly changing the subject.
"Yes," Naruto answered. "I'd like to stop at the confectioner's."
They traveled in silence until they reached the village. Naruto bought a small bag of peppermint candy for himself, and another, larger bag, to take to his family on his next visit.
As he stepped out of the store, he saw a little girl of perhaps seven sitting near the door. The child's hair was dirty and stringy, her dress faded and tattered along the hem.
"Are you lost, child?" Naruto asked.
The girl looked up at him through wide brown eyes, then, shyly, held up a fistful of primroses.
"Buy a flower, my lord?"
"Of course," Naruto said, and then realized he had no money. "Iruka?"
"Come along, young master."
"I want to give her something.”
Iruka shook his head. "Lord Sasuke won't like it."
"Then don't tell him." Naruto smiled down at the girl. "I'll take them all."
A muscle clenched in Iruka's jaw as he reached into his coat pocket and withdrew a handful of coins. He wouldn't have to tell Sasuke anything.
The vampire would know.
The child's face lit up as she handed Naruto the bouquet, then took the coins from Iruka.
"Thank you, lord," she exclaimed, clutching the money to her chest. "Oh, thank you!"
Naruto grinned as he watched the little girl run down the street. "Shall we go?"
They had almost reached the carriage when he heard Hyuuga calling his name. Turning, he saw him striding toward him.
"Let's go, young master," Iruka urged.
"In a minute." Naruto smiled up at Hyuuga when the man took his hands in his. "Hello, Neji."
"Naruto." He lifted one of his hands and kissed it. "How amazing you look."
"So do you."
Hyuuga grinned, pleased by the blond’s reply, and by his welcoming smile. "Come along," he said. "I’ll buy you a cup of tea."
"All right."
Iruka cleared his throat. "Master Naruto, we need to go."
"Later," he said, placing his hand on Hyuuga's arm.
"I would remind you of your promise, young master," Iruka said sternly.
"What promise is that?" Hyuuga asked. He glanced from Naruto's face to Iruka's and back again.
"Nothing." He lifted his hand from Neji’s arm and took a step back. "I promised to be home by… by…" His voice trailed off. He realized he had no idea what time it was.
"By three, young master," Iruka interjected smoothly. "We're late already."
"Yes, we are. I'm sorry, my lord Hyuuga, but I really must go."
"Surely you have time for a cup of tea," Hyuuga urged.
"I can't, really. I'm sorry."
"Very well, I shan't try to keep you." Hyuuga bowed over Naruto’s hand, certain that Sasuke had extracted the promise not to see him again. "If you should ever tire of him, if he ever harms you in any way, come to me."
"Thank you, my lord. You're most kind."
"Be careful, Naruto," Hyuuga said earnestly. "Sasuke is... Just be careful."
"I will. I really must go."
Neji helped Naruto into the carriage, stood watching as Iruka clucked to the horse. What hold did Sasuke have over Naruto, he wondered. Somehow, he would find out.
"Lord Sasuke is very rich, isn't he?" Naruto remarked. He had sat in silence for some time, watching the countryside pass by. The fields were green and gold. Sheep grazed on the hillsides.
Iruka nodded. Rich did not begin to describe his master's wealth.
"He should do more with his money," Naruto mused. "He could ease the suffering of so many."
Iruka smiled in spite of himself as he imagined Lord Sasuke walking among the town's peasants, his black cloak billowing around him as he scattered gold coins like confetti.
"Don't you think so?" Naruto asked.
"It isn't my place to tell Lord Sasuke what to do, master Naruto." Iruka turned to face the blond. "Nor yours."
With a little humph of pique, Naruto sat back, his arms folded over his chest. Somehow, he would find a way to convince Sasuke to ease the poverty in the village.
.
.
.
Later that night, Naruto sat at the table, staring, unseeing, into the bowl of mutton stew growing cold in front of him. All thoughts of helping the poor in the village had fled his mind as he contemplated seeing Sasuke again. How strange life was! When he wanted to stay, Sasuke wanted him to go. When he wanted to go, Sasuke urged him to stay.
Had he imagined it all, he wondered, the disconcerting vision of that man being pursued by darkness, the sense of evil? His fear had been real enough, but it seemed foolish now. Sasuke would not harm him.
Now you know what I need. What had Sasuke meant by those cryptic words?
And then Sasuke was there, filling the room with his presence. Clad in a loose fitting white shirt, snug black breeches, and soft leather boots, he crossed the room on silent feet to take the chair opposite.
"Good evening, sweet Naruto."
Naruto inclined his head in Sasuke’s direction. "My lord."
"No appetite this evening?" Sasuke asked, gesturing at the untouched bowl of stew in front of him.
Naruto sighed. "I'm not very hungry."
A shadow of concern passed over his face and then was gone. "Are you well?"
"Well enough. Might I ask you something?"
"You may ask me anything."
"But you won't answer."
"What do you want, Naruto?"
"A favour."
He lifted one black brow. "Another boon?"
"I want to help the people in the village. Many of them have had a bad year."
"And you intend to help? How?"
"There's a deserted storehouse near the end of town. I'd like to turn it into a shelter to house the poor.”
"Indeed?"
Naruto nodded, warming to the subject. "It wouldn't have to be anything elaborate. Just some beds, really."
"You don't want me to feed them, too?"
"Of course. I thought we could ask the shop keeper if he'd send food over at night. And milk for the wee ones."
"And you want me to fund this endeavour?"
"Yes."
Sasuke smiled faintly, amused by the idea of feeding those who had, on occasion, nourished his own hunger.
"Let Iruka take care of it," he said. "I don't want you directly involved."
"Why not?"
"I want you here."
"But there's nothing for me to do all day." Naruto pouted.
"I thought you were going to replant the gardens."
Naruto had forgotten that for the moment, but he couldn't spend all his time among the flowers, and said so.
"I want you here," Sasuke repeated firmly. "You take care of the gardens, Naruto, and I'll have Iruka procure the warehouse and stock it with beds and whatever else you think necessary."
"You're most kind, my lord."
"You're to tell no one about this," Sasuke said. "I'll have your promise."
"You have it." Naruto nodded firmly.
"Are you going to finish your supper?"
Naruto shook his head. "No."
"Come then," Sasuke said, rising. "I wish to go for a walk."
Iruka was waiting for them at the door. He handed Sasuke his cloak, then draped a lighter coloured cloak around Naruto's shoulders.
Naruto frowned as he stepped outside. How had Iruka known they were going outside?
The night was cool, but not cold. A bright yellow moon hung low in the sky. Millions of stars twinkled above, sparkling like tiny diamonds against a bed of indigo velvet.
Side by side, they walked down one of the narrow paths. Naruto knew somehow that they would end up at the maze, and he wondered what there was about that one place that drew Sasuke to it.
"How was your family?" Sasuke asked after a lengthy silence.
"They are fine. They want me to come home. They don't understand why I've decided to stay here."
Sasuke said nothing.
"My sister's getting married soon. Will you come to the wedding?"
"I've not been invited."
"I'm inviting you." Naruto quickly responded.
"When is the happy occasion to take place?"
"This Sunday evening, after Mass."
"I doubt I should be welcome."
"I should very much like you to be my escort." Naruto smiled up at the man. "I'm sure Iruka would like a night off."
"I'll think about it."
"All right."
They were in the maze now. As always, the place filled Naruto with apprehension, though he could not say why. There was nothing to fear.
When they reached the heart of the labyrinth, Sasuke sat down on one of the wrought iron benches and indicated Naruto should sit beside him.
Suddenly nervous, Naruto sat down beside him, pulling his cloak a little tighter around his body.
Sasuke sat back, his arms crossed over his chest. "You saw Hyuuga today."
Naruto licked lips suddenly dry. "Yes, my lord."
"Tell me what happened."
"Why don't you tell me? You seem to know everything I say and do." Naruto regarded the dark lord through narrowed eyes. "I'd like to know how you manage that."
"I can read your mind, my sweet."
"That's impossible."
"Is it?"
"Isn't it?" Naruto stared at him, wondering if Sasuke was telling the truth.
"You promised not to meet him while you lived here, with me."
"We didn't ' meet. ' I saw him on the street and he said hello."
"And invited you to tea."
"Iruka told you, didn't he?"
Sasuke shook his head. "I can smell Hyuuga on you," he said quietly. "Hyuuga smells of expensive tobacco and horse and a rather strong cologne."
Naruto felt his heart skip a beat as Sasuke studied him, nostrils flaring as he took a deep breath.
"You carry the scent of the tea and toast you had for breakfast, the lavender soap you bathed with," Sasuke said, his voice moving over him like a caress. "You had mutton and potatoes for lunch. Your hands smell of primroses and peppermint. And overall," he went on, his voice low and intimate, "the unique fragrance that is yours, and yours alone."
Naruto could only stare at the other, stunned by his words. How could he know such things?
Sasuke didn't tell the blond that he could hear the sound of the blood flowing in his veins, or that, if Sasuke opened his mind enough, he could hear the voices of the people in the village — their laughter, their tears, the harsh breathing of those who were ill, the prayers of the hopeful, the desperate, the dying.
He could hear their thoughts, sense their presence. He knew their fears. And yet he was ever on the outside of life, looking in.
He closed his eyes, and his senses filled with the blond at his side. Naruto reminded him of sunshine and roses on a warm summer day. His sun kissed hair, his tanned skin, carried myriad scents that called to him, arousing the beast in him as well as the man.
Naruto. With a low groan, he reached for the blond, wishing he could bridge the vast gulf between them, wishing that, for one day, he could be a part of his life. He whispered Naruto’s name as he dragged the young man into his arms and crushed him close. His kiss was tinged with desperation. Naruto, Naruto.
The blond struggled against him, frightened by the rush of need that leaped from his mouth to sweet plump lips. A sense of hopelessness, of desolation, washed over Naruto.
Abruptly, Sasuke let the blond go. Rising, he turned his back to Naruto and drew his cloak more closely round him. The heavy velvet moulded itself to him. "I didn't mean to frighten you."
"I begged you to make love to me not long ago," Naruto reminded him. "I offered myself to you freely. You needn't take me by force."
"Forgive me, Naruto. Sometimes I forget who I am. What I am."
"What are you?"
"Your worst dream come true."
"You're talking in riddles again."
"Shall I tell you the answers?" Sasuke wondered aloud. "Shall I tell you truths you will not believe and watch your eyes fill with revulsion? Shall I lower the mask I wear and watch you run screaming from my presence?"
Sasuke turned around to face wide blue eyes. Black eyes gleamed, even in the darkness. His cloak shifted and rippled, as though trying to pull him away.
"I need you, Naruto."
In a single, fluid movement, Sasuke knelt in front of the blond and took a hand in his. His skin was firm, cool, belying the fire that blazed in his eyes.
"I need you," he said again, more fervently this time. "Be patient with me, Naruto." His dark gaze held blue, silent, imploring. "I swear by all that I hold dear that I will not hurt you."
"You worry me, my lord," Naruto murmured. "Can you not explain what it is that troubles you so?"
"I wish I could." The burden of the secret Sasuke had carried for over four hundred years weighed heavily upon him. What a relief it would be to tell Naruto everything. As a man, he had once shed his sins by confessing them to a priest; he wondered now if he could ease the sadness, the loneliness, of centuries by confiding in Naruto. Would he be able to understand? Would he be able to forgive him for the lives he had taken when first he'd been made, when the hunger had been excruciating, when he'd been afraid and confused?
"Look at me," Sasuke whispered. "What do you see?"
Naruto gazed into midnight coloured eyes, felt an ache in his heart, an ache that spread to his soul and brought tears to his eyes. "Darkness. Sadness. Loneliness."
Sasuke’s gaze burned into blue. "What else do you see?"
"Don't ask me," Naruto begged, shaking his head. "I cannot bear it."
“Naruto…”
"I see death wrapped in darkness. And blood. So much blood. On your hands…” He lowered his gaze to stare at their joined hands, then slowly met the dark lord’s gaze again. "Who are you? What are you?"
"Swear to me on the life of your family that you will not leave me if I tell you."
"I have already promised to stay a year."
Sasuke shook his head, his fingers tightening around the blond’s. "Swear it."
"I swear on the life of my family that I will not leave you."
"Then look deep into my eyes, Naruto, and see the truth for yourself."
Sasuke’s eyes were deep and black and filled with the mysteries of the universe. They drew Naruto in, until he saw nothing else, and then, rising up out of a black mist, he saw Sasuke. He looked as he did now, save there was no scarring on his shoulder. His eyes, though black, seemed more alive; his face and arms were browned by the sun.
And then he saw a woman. He felt Sasuke's hand squeeze his and knew, in a distant part of his mind, that he was seeing Sasuke’s past. But how was that possible?
"Her name is Fuuka." Naruto heard Sasuke's voice, speaking softly in his mind.
Sasuke had seen her first at court. He had been a knight in those days, a warrior renowned for his pride, his bravery in battle. He was the boldest, the bravest, and proud of it. He had never been defeated in battle, nor unseated in tournament.
Fuuka had been married to an earl — Sasuke could no longer recall the man's name. He had seen Fuuka and been smitten at first glance.
Clad in a gown of unrelieved white silk, her dark maroon hair arranged in curls atop her head, she had been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
He had been unprepared for the heat that passed between them when her gaze met his. Her eyes were deep and black, like pools of liquid ebony. Her skin was pale, almost translucent, ever cool to the touch.
Like a besotted fool, Sasuke had attended every gathering in hopes of seeing her again. He remembered the night he had first spoken with her, danced with her. Kissed her. Her lips had been as smooth and cool as iced satin.
Sasuke had been charmed by her beauty, fascinated by the mystery that lurked in the depths of her eyes. He had never thought himself in love with her, but his lust had run hot, fueled by her come hither smiles. Her kisses, stolen in dark corners and moonlit gardens, had left him feeling drugged and desperate for more.
She had teased and tempted him for months, playing a game he'd never had a chance of winning. Too late, he had learned it wasn't an affair she wanted, but his life.
"And so I was made a vampire…”
Sasuke’s voice was still low. Naruto heard it in his mind, but refused to accept what the dark lord was telling him. There was no such thing. It was not possible.
"She left me the night she made me," Sasuke went on, his voice devoid of emotion. "When I woke the next night, I was ravenous."
"Stop!" Naruto clapped his hands over his ears. "I don't want to hear any more."
He went on as though Naruto hadn't spoken. The words rang clearly through his mind. Unable to shut them out, Naruto clasped his hands in his lap.
"I had no one to tell me what was happening to me, no one to teach me how to be a vampire. I shall never forgive her for that," Sasuke said, his voice laced with anger. "I did not realise the awesome powers I possessed. I was driven by a hunger that was excruciating. In the beginning, I thought it would drive me mad. All I knew was that blood eased the pain, and that the sunlight that I had once loved now meant death. Even then, I didn't want to believe. And then, one night, I looked in a mirror…”
He had never forgotten the slow horror that had spread through him when he stared into that glass, expecting to see his image reflected back at him, and saw only the room behind him.
"I ran away from my home, from all who knew me. I had hoped that I would be able to live some semblance of a normal life in another place, that I would be able to marry, and have a family. I know now how foolish those hopes were, but in the beginning I didn't realise that I had lost all hope of living as a man. In time, I learned that I was not a man at all."
Restless now, he stood up, his gaze fixed on something only he could see.
"I was in Italy when I met another vampire,” he whispered.
“Orochimaru was one of the ancient ones. He taught me what it meant to be a vampire, told me that I could be a monster, striking terror in the hearts of mortals, or I could hide myself away and live off the blood of beasts, or I could dwell somewhere in the middle, neither man nor monster.”
"And that is what I have done. I never stay longer than fifteen or twenty years in any one place. I have already stayed here too long. Soon I shall go to one of my other dwellings and stay there until people begin to talk about my strange way of living, until they begin to notice that I do not age, and then I shall move again."
"You're telling me the truth, aren't you? You're not making this up just to scare me?" Naruto managed to find his voice.
Sasuke nodded.
"What about Iruka? Does he know what you are?”
"Of course. We are more than master and servant. My blood runs in his veins." There had been times when taking blood from Iruka had meant the difference between life and death. Yet he had never taken enough to bequeath the Dark Gift to his servant. In over four hundred years, he had never made another vampire.
"You fed on him?"
Sasuke didn't miss the quick look of revulsion in blue eyes.
He nodded curtly, wondering if Naruto would ask the question he dreaded.
"When you bought me from Chiyo, were you going to feed on me, too?"
So, he thought, there it was. He took a deep breath and then, very slowly, Sasuke nodded.
"But you didn't?" Naruto lifted his hands to his neck, his fingers exploring. There were no marks. Relief whooshed from his lungs in a deep sigh.
And then he frowned. There had been marks once, soon after he came to the castle the first time. He had asked Iruka to look at them, and he had assured there was nothing to worry about.
"I rarely drank from your neck," Sasuke said quietly, "and when I did, I had only to run my tongue over the wounds to heal them." But he had forgotten that one night.
"You drank my blood?" Naruto stared at him, wondering why the idea didn't repulse him. He should be angry or screaming hysterically. He at least should be horrified. Instead, he felt remarkably calm, as if he were listening to a story that had nothing to do with him.
“No more than a thimbleful at a time." Sasuke took a step back. His cloak wrapped around him, enfolding him. "Had I given you my blood in return, we would be bonded."
"What does that mean, bonded?"
"It means you would be able to read my thoughts as I can read yours."
"That's what you've done to Iruka, isn't it? He's your slave?"
"No. We share only a bond." A bond born of blood and a vow.
That didn't seem so bad, Naruto mused. He wished he could read Sasuke’s thoughts now. Perhaps then he would be better able to understand the dark lord better.
"There's another bond," Sasuke said. "A deeper bond, one more binding."
"Oh?" Naruto wasn't sure he wanted to hear it.
"It's a bond that cannot be broken except by death. Mine, or yours. You don't know how I've longed to make you mine, Naruto, to bind you to me. And yet I could not, for to do so would be to take away your freedom, and I found I could not do that to you."
"Why have you told me all this?"
Sasuke took a deep breath. "I needed to tell someone. After four hundred years, I wanted someone to understand." Slowly, he shook his head. "I know now that is impossible."
"You've been alive for over four hundred years?"
Sasuke shook his head, a rueful grin on his lips. "I was alive for twenty seven years. I have been vampire for four hundred and three."
"But that would mean you were born in …
"Fourteen hundred and twelve, my sweet."
"It's not possible."
Sasuke said nothing, simply watched the blond beauty through fathomless black eyes.
"And you drink human blood to survive?"
"Rarely, and only a little at a time."
"How can you?" Naruto asked, repelled.
How to explain it to him, to make Naruto understand that it wasn't awful? He shook his head and then sighed, knowing the blond deserved an answer, abhorrent as it might be.
"I don't know how to describe it to you, Naruto. There's nothing in your experience I can compare it to. When I drink, it's like becoming a part of that person. I can feel the beat of their heart; I know their thoughts, their fears. You cannot imagine what it's like— the power, the hunger… Before I learned to control it, when I thought I had to take a life to survive..." He shook his head again. "I can't explain it."
"If you no longer drink human blood, what do you drink? What is it that Iruka brings you in the evening?"
"It's wine mixed with blood. From sheep, usually, although any kind of blood will do." But he needed human blood, as well, though he didn't say that. It was why he had bought Naruto in the first place. There was a freshness, a strength, in the pure, sweet blood of a virgin that could be found nowhere else.
"You drink the blood of sheep?"
"I keep a small flock on the north side of the castle beyond the gate."
"Oh?" Naruto was staring at Sasuke, his expression dazed.
"I've sickened you, haven't I?"
"A little," Naruto admitted. But, mostly, he felt sorry for the dark lord. Four hundred years of living alone, never able to trust another living soul. Four hundred years since he had seen the sun, felt its warmth on his face. Four hundred years since he had tasted food, drunk a glass of cool, clear water.
Four hundred years without a friend to confide in, or someone to love.
Naruto envisioned Sasuke bending over him, his teeth piercing his flesh, drinking his blood. Tried to imagine himself living as Sasuke lived, forever cursed to dwell in darkness, to forgo the simple pleasures of life.
Wanting to comfort Sasuke somehow, Naruto gazed deep into those midnight coloured eyes and there, in the inky black depths, he caught an image of Sasuke as he had been four hundred years ago. The pain and fear and rage he had experienced when he first became a vampire, the centuries of loneliness that had followed, and overall the neverending scent of blood and death. He was a vampire. Child of Darkness. Undead…
Darkness engulfed him, deeper than hell, darker than black. With a strangled sob, Naruto felt himself slipping into a swirling vortex that had no beginning and no end.