Chapter 9
“What did you do?” The horrifying question bubbled past her lips before she could reign it in, her mind jumbled but her instinct calmed in the situation. Ayaka is curious, can never deny knowledge when the chance presents it to her, can never resist knowing.
Ayaka might not want to know this, after all.
But something changed.
Something fundamental changed within Ayaka, within Clara, within her.
Who is she now?
What is she right now?
She isn’t sure she’s human, not with the type of animalistic instinct clawing at her mind day after day after day, an urge to claim and draw blood, to force her will onto another and make them obey-
Ayaka is petrified at the prospect.
(Something far more crows at the prospect.)
The goddess - Kurono-hime, Ayaka reminds herself - smiles, as charming as ever. It feels to Ayaka like the smile of a shark with blood in the water.
“Ah. Many things and nothing at all.”
Another confusing sentence. Does she only speak in riddles? No, that’s ridiculous, isn’t it? Ayaka suspects that it's more of the complicated and very convulsed nature of the matter.
The goddess is still a very, very mysterious figure, given the complete cover of her outfit. Does god even have genders?
Stray thoughts. Bad. Back to business.
How does one change many and none at all? How does Ayaka do that? How much has changed?
“Your soul… it was slightly damaged when I got you, you see. That just won’t do. And the world here is so dangerous too. No, no. Leaving it as is would defeat my purpose overall.”
She hums, her words flowing like a song of sorts. Ayaka doesn’t exactly know what to think. Ayaka doesn’t think she wants to comprehend that either.
So. Kurono-hime has a purpose. Something she couldn’t do by herself.
How in the mother of all the shitty scenarios does Ayaka count into that?
“So, I fixed it. Not by much, you know. I added things on, augmented this little bit… but in the end, you are still you. Just slightly more.”
The grin was predator in nature. Ayaka is sure of that. There are no sharp teeth, or bloody stains, or anything indicative of a hunter. But looking at that sharp, sharp smile, she knows she is being observed. Assessed.
Ayaka hopes she finds her worthy, because she wouldn’t know what to do otherwise. She already loved this place.
“Your soul is a wild, wild thing, little one. I simply brought it to the surface. And reinforce some areas of it. Hm… well, I suppose you’ve noticed the apathy? It will go away, don’t worry. But hyperfocus and possessiveness isn’t unfamiliar, is it?”
“Fuck.”
Yeah. That’s about sum it up.
Fuck.
It’s not… bad. There was a very, very in-depth explanation, with a lot of… confusing and contradictory sentences. The best Ayaka can link it to is the well known and not at all understood relativity theory. In a much wider context without the needed variation.
Yeah.
Ayaka has three strikes. Three chance to mess up and call for help.
An experiment, she was called.
Not that Ayaka actually minded, no. An experiment indicates that Kurono-hime cares somehow, and will be observing her. That she is worth keeping alive.
That’s somehow more reassuring than anything Ayaka has heard before. Not in this world of ninja and chakra.
The deal is still happening, the price for inter dimensional transportation paid for by the experiment. A rare chance to interact with a human's soul, or so she said.
But the three strikes is a wager. A bet tackled on, negotiated in her subconscious. Something done within the void before all of this.
Ayaka wanted to scream at Clara- or Clara’s soul or memory or whatever - but that can’t happen, so she settled for mild exasperation and acceptance.
Three strikes, and Ayaka is hers. Kurono-hime introduced herself to be darkness. A god not quite known in this realm, but well acknowledged in many others. In this realm, Ayaka will be her devoted. Her prayer.
Ayaka doesn’t exactly mind that part either. Kurono-hime, despite the ambiguous act of taking a soul and molding it to her preference, actually do has a set of rules she abides by. One that Ayaka can get behind.
The only reason why she is even offering the interventions in Ayaka’s life is because as one of the devotees of hers in this realm, Ayaka gets certain privileges. Gods are, surprisingly, contractually obligated to answer the prayers in some way, if in their jurisdiction, so long as one paid the right price. They are also not allowed to intervene too deeply in any mortal’s life.
Ayaka is her devotee, and that makes this a bit easier to argue against anything others try to put onto her.
Easier to dance around the lines.
Ayaka can read between lines.
There has to be a catch.
Whether it’s at Ayaka's or Kurono-hime’s expense.
“This is a soul space, really. Another realm altogether.”
“… is this just my soul? Does this actually exist?”
“Why can’t it be both?”
A damn controversy in whatever corporeal or incorporeal form the goddess is. Really messes one’s mind up.
“Do you enjoy mind games?”
“Of course I do. That’s a prerequisite, darling. Don’t tell me you don’t.”
“I can’t exactly deny that, do I?”
Ah. Ayaka’s getting attached. Damn it.
“Ah. The time’s come. You should go, Ume.”
Ayaka looks up from my place, lying atop the water, feeling the ripples beneath her skin as Kurono-hime moves around, gliding and dancing more than anything.
“The time?”
She asks, because it’s been an eternity since she popped into here. It’s weird, to feel the water like her own body. Ayaka has no doubt she could do the same outside of this dream-soul state.
“Yes, Ume. I don’t think you want to sleep forever, do you?” Kurono-hime tilts her head, tone like she’s confused by the words. Human standards and emotions. Wow. How unique and irritable.
“How do I leave then?”
Humming, the goddess walks to her side and puts her hands on her shoulders. It’s cold to the touch, but warmer than the water beneath her.
Ayaka was shoved downward, into the cold cold water.
“By drowning.”
The words echoed behind her, as water rushes by her ears and salt stings her eyes. Her body-conscious-soul? Disolves into bubbles and Ayaka knows no more.
Ayaka wakes the fuck up.
She jumps, sitting up from beneath the soft but ratty sheet that is her blanket, her mind whirling into awareness and cataloging every stimulation she can find.
Ann is right next to her, drowsy and half asleep, but calm and settled. The chakra shows.
The sun is up, peaking through the mountaintop, painting the sky in golden pink hues.
The other children haven’t woken yet either. Nor has the director.
Ayaka isn’t breaking out in cold sweat. The only thing that isn’t right is her slightly clammy hand and rapid heart rate.
Everything feels fine.
Was it all a dream? An overly active imagination can do that. Ayaka thinks faintly. But - no. Not a dream. She can tell.
Ayaka gained something from that not-dream. Something more than she is. Something much, much more feral.
Ayaka isn’t sure if this is a good thing.
A small flicker in the calmness beside her.
“Imouto?”
Ayaka turns, and looks into Ann’s green eyes. Everything will be fine, Ayaka thinks.
Ann is here. She isn’t lost yet. Ayaka hasn’t lost her person yet.
“Just a weird dream.”
Just a secret she can’t explain.
“Ah.”
They fall into companionable silence afterward.