Mind, Body, and maybe Soul.
Sasori lay dormant, drifting in and out of sleep. He knew that he couldn't leave with his wounds just yet, and that hurt him more than the wounds themselves.
He had been trained for my young age to deal with pain, but the feeling of uselessness gnawed mercilessly at him. His hair was growing long, and his facial hair now began to itch and irritate him.
His dreams also became more vivid, and harder to control. As a puppet, he never had to worry about dreams.
Since he had been brought into this new world as a human, they returned to him, and so he trained his mind not to dream.
But now… now he could no longer keep them out of his thoughts.
He didn’t remember his dreams, but he remembered the people in them… He remembered Deidara’s face. He remembered his grandmother’s face… the faces of his parents, he still couldn’t quite picture in his head, but he remembered the feeling when he would wake up… and how those feelings were quickly washed over with anger.
“Master Sasori!” Deidara’s cheerful face greeted him in his waking dream.
“Leave me alone brat.”
“Master Sasori!”
“I said leave me alone.”
“Sasori-san, may I come in?”
Deidara’s face vanished, and Sasori was brought back to reality as he sat up in his bed. “Kamado… another annoying brat… still better than sleeping.” “Come in,” he called. Tanjiro entered with a slightly nervous gait, but he smiled warmly. “Sasori-san, I just wanted to thank you on behalf of Muichiro.”
“Why doesn't the brat thank me himself?” Sasori asked, unable to hide his dissatisfaction with the situation.
“Ehhh umm… he can't. He's still recovering, but I still wanted to thank you on his behalf. I heard how you saved him, and then continued to protect him, even while you were fighting for your own life.” As he said this, Tanjiro’s expression shifted. He was still smiling, but it had changed from an innocent smile to a relieved one… the smile of someone who feared losing a dear friend, as he had lost many others before.
Sasori groaned and rubbed his temple. He was beginning to wake up… this was good… an escape from the delirium of dreams. “How is your sister?” He asked Tanjiro without looking up.
“She's fine, thank you.”
“You protect her the same way?”
“Of course!” Tanjiro cried.
“Why do you do it?” Sasori exhaled.
Tanjiro was now visibly confused.
“Why do I… protect my sister?...”
“Its a simple question.”
Tanjiro gulped. “Its obvious… its almost insulting to ask a person that, but I don’t think Sasori-san’s question is out of malice or ignorance… perhaps because he wanted to hear how I would explain it?”
“She’s family-” Tanjiro began to answer... Sasori's face twitched.
“But you don’t need to protect someone just because they are family!” Tanjiro continued hurriedly, afraid he had said something wrong. “Protecting someone else is always the right thing to do! Especially when you’ve been gifted with the strength to do so. Nezuko is my little sister, and I would protect her with my life, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I protect only her…” Tanjiro trailed off… “I don’t think I’m explaining it well.”
Sasori slumped down. “I don't know why I did it… why I went out of my way to save that brat… no one could have blamed me if that demon killed him, and If I fought him without having to worry about the others, then I wouldn't be in this situation, so why?...”
Tanjiro looked at him with a calm seriousness. “You should know the answer, Sasori-san.”
“You don't understand… I'm a Shinobi. I'm supposed to be beyond pointless things like this.”
“No matter what kind of training you've had, You're still human. It's only natural that you would want to help others.”
Sasori scoffed. “Soon, I won't have to worry about that anymore. Soon, I'll be back to my old self”
Tanjiro fidgeted uneasily. He had wanted to talk to Sasori ever since he met him, but did not know how… and now, the smell he was giving off… one of pure malice, made him wonder if he could even help him at all. “Well, in any case,” Tanjiro concluded. “I am grateful for what you’ve done… we all are.” He bowed. “Please get well soon, Sasori-san.” He excused himself, and left the room.
Sasori flopped back down on the bed. “ Why am I doing this? Why am I continuing with these people when I get such little out of this arrangement? These humans are weak… Why didn’t I stop that girl from leaving? Normally, I never let anyone leave me and get away with it before.”
“Is that why you make puppets? Master Sasori?” The image of Deidara’s head hovered over him… an illusion from the drugs.
“My subconscious is taking the form of that cheeky brat…”
“Puppets never leave you master,” The hallucination of Deidara continued. “ You can control them, but they aren’t the same as people.”
“People can be pretty easily controlled,” Sasori countered. “The problem is that they can’t be relied upon. All of these demon slayers are nothing but brats, this organization is made up of children who live like they want to die young, just like you…”
“But isn’t that what makes life so fascinating?” Deidara asked. “Life is like art! It's an ex-” Sasori swung his arm through the hallucination, and it vanished like a cloud as the motion banished his delirium. He staggered out of bed, and grabbed his IV pole, and used it for support as he sluggishly made his way out of his room.
The hallway, and the natural light that it let in, assaulted his eyes as he made his way down the hall, towards Kanae’s office. One of the pint-sized nurses was walking down the hallway with a clip-board, when she looked up and noticed him. “Sasori-san!” She cried, “please return to bed. If you need anything, you can ring for us.”
Sasori ignored her, and opened the door to Kanae’s office.
“No! Sasori-san! You can’t go in there!” Sasori opened the door, and began glancing around the room. “Kocho-san isn’t here,” The girl continued to cry, “Please go back to your room…” She might have taken Sasori by the hand, but dared not approach.
Sasori plopped himself down in Kanae’s chair, opened her desk drawer, and grabbed her inventory file. “What is this? Where are the antipsychotic medications?”
“We- we only carry basic formulas” Kiyo said, now on the verge of tears. “This isn’t a hospital, its a clinic for demon slayers to recover. We order drugs for specific patients from bigger clinics, and-”
“What about treatments for poisons administered by demons? Like when those brats were turned into spiders, you can’t get medicine for that at a regular hospital can youl!?”
“N-no, Kocho-san and her sister mix their own-”
“Thats what I thought,” Sasori barked impatiently. “Then there must be some diphenylamine and sulfur around here? Go and find it!”
“Its in Kocho-san’s lab!” the girl cried. “I’m not allowed to go there while they are gone!” tears were now flowing from the girl’s face.
“Take me there,” Sasori growled.
Poor Kiyo was too terrified to disobey.
The laboratory wasn’t far, and Sasori immediately got to work once she showed him in. “11 grams diphenylamine…” Sasori muttered aloud, cold sweat trickling down his brow as he added it to the flask, “4 grams sulfur…” His hands were trembling, and unsteady as he poured the yellowish powder in. “...1.6 grams of anhydrous aluminum chloride…”
“Umm… Sasori-san…” Kiyo stammered, “what is that you’re making?”
“It’s phenothiazine,” Sasori answered as he stirred the molten mixture. “It used to be used as a pesticide, until a particularly nasty war happened… ”
“Hey, c'mon" came the voice of someone who wasn't actually there. "Is this really a story for a small child? Master Sasori?” Sasori ignored the floating apparition of Deidara.
“Doctors treating soldiers for injuries," he explained. "discovered that this pesticide can also be used to treat hallucinations and delirium...”
“You know that you’ll be passed out long before that medicine is ready? RIght Master?”
“Soon I won’t have to listen to you anymore, Deidara.”
“Who is Deidara?” Kiyo asked.
Sasori didn’t hear her. His ears were beginning to ring.
“Did you even put in the right amount of aluminum chloride? Master?”
Sasori began to feel like his brain was bleeding…
***
Tanjiro stepped quietly into Muichiro’s dimly lit room at the Butterfly Estate, sensing the heaviness in the air. On the bed, Muichiro sat holding his knees to his chest, with his blanked shrouded over him. Tanjiro recognized the look on his face immediately.
"You had another nightmare," Tanjiro said softly. Muichiro nodded, unable to speak, the weight of the memories evident in the trembling of his hands. Tanjiro pulled a chair closer to the bed. "It will get better," he began gently. "After my family was killed, I woke up soaked in a cold sweat night after night. It will get easier with time."
Muichiro’s voice was thin and quiet, breaking the silence between them. "I keep seeing him… my brother’s body… and the horrible things happening to it..." His words faltered, as if they choked him. "Sometimes it’s my own body, sometimes both of us together, and it’s making me sick." He clutched at the blankets tightly, his body trembling with the aftershocks of his nightmare.
Tanjiro reached out, placing a comforting hand on Muichiro’s shoulder. The room fell into silence again, broken only by the soft rustle of fabric and the singing of birds outside the window. "Did you talk to Sasori-san?" Muichiro asked, his voice small, almost hesitant.
Tanjiro nodded. "Yeah, I did."
"He scares me..." Muichiro confessed. His lips pressed together, as though he hated admitting it aloud. "I know he saved me, but... I don’t want to…"
"I understand," Tanjiro cut in, his voice soothing. "You just focus on getting better, alright? Don’t worry about anything else."
Muichiro took a shaky breath, his eyes flickering with uncertainty. After a moment, he glanced up at Tanjiro. "Will you train with me today?"
Tanjiro chuckled nervously, thinking of how to answer.
“I understand,” Muichiro said softly. “Kocho-san says I can’t continue training yet, right?”
Tanjiro nodded, remembering Kanae’s admonition.
“Maybe we can play some Shogi?” Muichiro suggested.
Tanjiro was about to respond, when an ear-piercing scream rang out throughout the clinic.
“Kiyo-chan!” Tanjiro cried, leaping up. “Muichiro, I gotta go!”
“Yeah,” Muichiro nodded, with a worried look on his face.
Tanjiro bolted towards the sound of Kiyo’s calls for help, zooming as he turned the corners, until he came to the scene. Kiyo had fallen into the wariza position, tears falling down her face as her small body trembled. In front of her, Sasori lay unconscious. His face bruised by the fall, and blood dripping from his nose. His IV pole collapsed next to him, and a foul-smelling black solution burning in a flask on the table above him.
***
“Lord Orochimaru,” Muzan said with authority, “step forward.”
Out from the shadows, Orochimaru’s form crept. Underneath her long hair, Nakime’s eye followed as the outworlder stepped closer towards her master. Akaza remained kneeling, with his head bowed. Orochimaru’s long black hair floated about his white face, his earrings seemed to dance in his evil aura, his teeth bared in a serpentine grin. Muzan extended his hand, and Orochimaru took it in his own.
“You and I both seek the same knowledge,” Muzan declared, narrowing his eyes. “We each possess resources that the other does not. Therefore, a cooperative alliance is merited. I do not need to remind you what I will do if you betray me do I?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Orochimaru replied with a low laugh. “And now I believe we have something to discuss.”
“Indeed.”
Nakime stroked her Biwa, and thin shoji walls closed around the two Lords. Armchairs aparrated behind them, and Orochimaru and Muzan each took a seat across from one another. “There is the matter of the other one from my world who came here ahead of me,” Orochimaru began to explain.
“The puppet master? I am not worried about him. Akaza, whom you’ve met, has already defeated him, and could have killed him, had it not been for Akaza’s own foolish codes of honor.” Muzan leaned in close, his words laced with anger. “The puppet master was protected by a woman, and Akaza who could have easily killed them both, retreated.” Muzan breathed out his frustrations, and leaned back in his seat. “This puppet master appears to be no threat to me.”
“You underestimate him,” Orochimaru admonished. “Sasori is in a weakened state, but in his prime, he was in the same realm of power as I am. If he regains his strength, he would cause problems for both of us.”
Muzan’s eyes narrowed.
“However,” Orochimaru continued, “You say that there was a girl with him?”
“He was traveling with members of the detestable demon slayers.” Muzan explained. “There were two girls with him, and one adolescent boy.”
“Well that is indeed interesting,” Orochimaru said as he reclined in his chair. “No doubt, Sasori is using them to his own ends. However, I would like to learn more about these companions of his. Perhaps we can use them to our advantage…”
“I will consider trusting your judgment on this man’s potential to thwart me,” Muzan said. “But right now, my bigger priority is Ubuyashiki. His family has pestered me for centuries.”
“And yet you cannot find them?” Orochimaru asked.
“No. He hides himself well, that Ubuyashiki. Finding him may prove almost as difficult as finding the blue spider lily itself.”
Orochimaru chuckled. “Finding a person is not quite so difficult for a Shinobi. But in the meantime, Lord Muzan-” Orochimaru licked his lip. “I want you to find out more about those girls. Sasori is not someone who forms attachments to humans, but he is extremely possessive of what he deems to be his ..."
He paused, as if to ponder his own words... "Ubuyashiki can be found, but if my clever friend is aligned with him, we may need to plan accordingly.”
***
Sasori stirred awake, blinking slowly as the ceiling of the Butterfly Estate came into focus. His body felt heavy, his head pounding from the remnants of the delirium that had plagued him earlier. He didn’t have to look to know he was back in his hospital bed, the familiar pillow and sheets confirmed that much. But what caught his attention immediately was the figure sitting beside him.
Kanae.
She sat rigidly in the chair next to his bed. Her hands were folded calmly in her lap, but her eyes betrayed her calm exterior. There was a weariness in her gaze, a quiet storm behind her soft expression. She didn’t say anything at first, but the way her lips pressed into a thin line spoke volumes.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she spoke.
“You are the most reckless patient I’ve ever had,” Kanae said quietly, her voice soft, but there was no missing the edge in it. "Do you have any idea how dangerous what you did was?”
Sasori didn’t respond. He lay still, staring at the ceiling.
"I was out picking up medicine for my patients," Kanae continued, her voice rising slightly. "Including the antipsychotics you needed, because Shinobu, who has been taking care of you, told me how worried she was. She noticed your delirium, and was so genuinely concerned for you, and now look at what you’ve done…” Kanae hung her head as she spike with a tired sigh. "You made a mess of my laboratory," She continued, her tone sharper now. “You set back hours of work that we needed to do for the sake of other patients… do you even realize how badly you miscalculated the measurements? If you had taken what you mixed, it would have killed you."
There was a tremble in her voice now, which she was failing to suppress. "And worse still, Kiyo-chan is beside herself with fear and sorrow. She didn’t know what to do. You forced her into a terrible position." Her voice faltered, and her hands trembled. “She’s only a child, Sasori-san… How could you do that to her?”
Sasori’s head turned, his hair fell over his pillow, and his adam’s apple rose in his throat, but his eyes remained fixed on the ceiling.
“I didn’t want you here, Sasori-san” Kanae finally admitted, her voice soft, but twinged with anger. “I wanted to have you transferred to the nearest hospital, and let them deal with you… I appreciate what you’ve done, and you saved all of our lives on that train but you…” Her lips quivered as she prepared to say what she had to say. “You terrify me. Even now, even knowing we’re on the same side, I don’t want you near my nurses or my patients if I can help it. I’m going to arrange your transfer to the general hospital first thing tomorrow morning, I truly hope that you get well soon there.” She lowered her gaze, folding her hands more tightly in her lap.
“I’m sorry…”
Kanae’s eyes went wide, and a small gasp escaped her.
She slowly panned up, and looked at Sasori again.
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
“I said I’m sorry,” Sasori said in a tired voice. “I was having hallucinations… It's not important.” He closed his eyes. “My point is, I’m sorry about the girl, and your lab.”
Kanae sat there in the silence... The silence stretched on, before she finally found what to say.
“Is the… is the new medicine helping?”
She did not know whether Sasori was still awake or not, but he mumbled, “yeah…”
“I guess I won’t transfer you tomorrow then either, if your no longer suffering here.”
Sasori’s mouth curved into a smirk as he let out a brief chuckle. “You and your sister both… pathetic…”
To Kanae's own surprise, she was not offended by that… the way it sounded… was almost like Shinazugawa or Iguro would have said it.