CRIME LIFE
It's three in the morning, Barbara is sitting alone in the Batcave. She had just finished updating the Batcomputer when suddenly a message appeared on the screen. She thought that it was an emergency and when she clicked on it, her mouth was hanging wide open.
A video jumped on the screen with the message from Tim: „Edit and post, no questions“. She pressed play, and oh boy it was a sight and sound to see and hear.
There on the screen were Jason and Dick in their suits walking through a crime alley, and there they met Tim. Suddenly there is a shot of Jason walking through the filthiest part of the town and singing.
Tell me what you know about crime Life
Work all day but we party all night
Crime Life we survive in the hard times
Shut up Batman this is my lifestyle
Crime Life, Crime Life, Crime Life
Kill you with a knife
Crime Life, Crime Life, Crime Life
Taking over worldwide
Dancing like a malfunctioning robot moving from side to side, then Tim joins him by jumping off of a tree. Then he started singing:
Real Crime talk
Check my crime walk
When we were kids on police
We were throwing rocks
Here on every block
All we drink is vodka
Every day I pray to
God like a praying mantis
This for my sisters and this for my brothers
I am a son of my father u
Fuck your motherI came from the gutter
I drink and I drink and she bring me another
Ghotam steals so everything's harder
Rolling the blunt I'm calling it sarme
If I don't have any I'm smoking cigarettes
I'm all about euros, kune, dinare
I am a hard criminal
Doing that hard stuff
I want money it is never enough!
Living that Crime Life
I been through the hard times
I will live even after I die
He was jumping all over the place with a bottle of vodka in his hands, barely managing not to fall down. In one part of the song, he was laying down in a tub full of money, while Jason and Dick spill vodka all over him.
In the next shot, Jason was lying down in some kind of field while singing and doing hand gestures that indicated the next part of the song:
How did I survive?
Natural selection
When I have sex
I don't use protection
When I drink I drive
In the wrong direction
I will candidate for president on next election
Before you can say knife there were Jason, Tim, and Dick dancing like lunatics under some bridge, while people behind them were pissing on the wall (there were peeing sound effects to be heard):
Doctor say be patient I'm a man of action
Have no time for waiting
Vodka is antibiotic so I take it
HE WANTS DICK baby cuz I’m savage my blood is Ghotam
I’m a guy who is fighting for Crime example
My Crime Life is better than yours
And damn right it's better then yours
I can grill meat on the high heat stove
I can't teach you
You are not crime boy
Jason repeats the chorus that Barbara found weirdly chachy
Tell me what you know about crime Life
Work all day but we party all night
Crime Life we survive in the hard times
Shut up Batman this is my lifestyle
Crime Life, Crime Life, Crime Life
Kill you with a knife
Crime Life, Crime Life, Crime Life
Taking over worldwide
And finally, Damian joins them. He was wearing a yellow raincoat with the suit under it, and a ski mask on his face. He was crouching, and started singing:
Rakija, ajvar
Beer whole crate
My husband is beautiful
Neons on hood
We are partying every night
Pork in the kitchen
If you want to be my hub
Go to the kitchen
My bros are on parole
I go to the crime alley for job
I do crimes since elementary
We are smoking Bosnia!
Crime isn’t a parody, my soul is icy
I’m from Ghotam
But not from the good one!
Damian was fighting the air constantly and started swinging left and right like he was fighting invisible attackers. And then Dick showed up on the screen. In a full suit with a golden chain and sunglasses over his domino mask. Then he dropped the lines:
We drink we fight I fuck your husband
My dick he like He mine tonight
Now tell me what you know about Crime life?
Barbara had no idea how they managed to find a chicken coop in the middle of Gotham, but there it was.
Dick was squatting trying to catch chickens but they were running away from him. Then in the next shot, he was in front of a shop that was selling rotisserie chickens in the background showing fingers at them and dropping the best lines in the history of mankind.
I'm the first man drinking in the sunrise...
Last man standing in the bar fight
We gon' see who will make it home tonight!!!
I have a gun now you comin' to me with a knife
Bam bam bam bam now you fighting for your life
Ha ha ha ha did I tell you not to try
Crime Crime Crime Crime we have power in our blood
Push it harder push it to the limit never stop
Making money selling drugs Connected to corrupted cops
If you want to be like us eating burek is a must
Every day we do squats
We are criminals the world is ours!
And there was Jason, repeating the chorus for the last time:
Tell me what you know about crime Life
Work all day but we party all night
Crime Life we survive in the hard times
Shut up Batman this is my lifestyle
Crime Life, Crime Life, Crime Life
Kill you with a knife
Crime Life, Crime Life, Crime Life
Taking over worldwide
At the end of the video, it was written „Masterpiece by yours truly Red Hood“
Barbara thought Fuck my life and she started editing. At 5 a.m. Internet was blessed by an account named Fallen Sidekicks. At that moment Barbara prayed to the universe. God, we need you more than ever.