Chapter 6
Jiraiya-sama is dead.
Shikamaru isn’t surprised when he and the cipher team can’t figure out the code the frog sage had left behind. He wished he could say he was surprised that if anyone could figure it out, it would be Naruto. And perhaps, he hated that he already knew he would be the one to bring it to Naruto, even before the Godaime asked. And yet, here he was in the late afternoon with a picture of the code in one hand and the other knocking gently on his soulmate’s apartment.
“Oh, it’s you. What do you want, Shikamaru?” The flat blue eyes that normally shone with such brightness was like a punch to the gut. For a moment, all he could do was stare at Naruto who had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn;t slept, bloodshot orbs staring despondent down at him, and the way his entire body sagged like the weight of the world was pushing them down. It was a look Shikamaru never wanted Naruto to see. Death was a part of the shinobi way of life, but the shadow-wielder wanted to bundle up the man before him and protect him from ever feeling that way again.
“What have you got there?” Naruto gestured with a simple tilt of his chin and Shikamaru realized he’d been quiet too long. He looked from the code in his hand to the man before him before pocketing.
“Nothing for now. I wanted to check on you.” The genius says sincerely, reaching out to place a hand on Naruto’s shoulder.
“I’m fine, you don’t need to check up on me.” The blond shoved his shoulder upwards to remove Shikamaru’s hand, but the Nara wasn’t quite ready to lose the contact. His desire to see his soulmate smile overrode everything else and he reached out to take Naruto’s hand instead.
“C’mon, I want to show you something.” The blond looked at him curiously for a moment before sighing and putting on his sandals. Shikamaru had graciously let go of his hand but as soon as his sandals were on and the door was locked, his fingers slid back into Naruto’s and tugged him across the village on the rooftops.
“Wh-what are we doing here, Shikamaru?” Naruto murmured, blond brows creased into confusion. They had traveled to the Konoha Hospital though the Nara tugged Naruto down onto the roof to sit beside him. When Naruto broke contact this time, the brunette didn’t chase him.
“Just watch.”
They didn’t have to wait long before two familiar figures exited the hospital. Kurenai looked radiant with her belly round underneath her dress. Asuma walked by her side, hand around her waist. They both looked happy and their smiles chased away the shadows in his mind of not being enough, not being fast enough, not being smart enough, to save Asuma from Hidan’s curse.
“Woah, did Kurenai eat too much barbecue? She looks like Choji,” Naruto guffawed and Shikamaru’s lips twitched into a small smile.
“She’s pregnant with Asuma’s baby. They are soulmates. You asked me why I told them I was your soulmate. I wish I could say it was for them, for their child, for the future, but I was selfish. I couldn’t have my soulmate and I wanted Asuma to be able to have his. At least at the time. He knew this and we spoke, but now I know I made the right decision. At some point, we have to stop being the mentees, the ones that are bestowed knowledge upon, lessons, rules for living. At some point, we have to think about the legacy we are going to leave. Asuma, Kurenai, Kakashi, Jiraiya… they taught us in the hopes of preserving Konoha’s future. We are their legacy.” They were finally noticed by the two other Jounin and the boys waved before Shikamaru pressed on. “I’m going to train their child one day. Every lesson, every amount of wisdom, the Will of Fire, I will teach their child. That is Asuma’s legacy, they will be my legacy. Jiraiya left his legacy to you.” The Nara turned and offered a wink as he nudged their knees together. The light was shining back into Naruto’s eyes, the blue voids filled with determination and resolve.
“You’re right, of course you are,” he said, clenching his hand into a fist. “Thank you, Shikamaru.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” he laughed softly and pulled out the picture from his pocket. “I originally came because I needed you. Jiraiya left a code and no one can figure it out, but we think you might be able to. C’mon, I’ll show you what we have.”
In the end, it’s Naruto and Kakashi who figure out the message. The real one is not among them. And it’s daunting, but that’s not what is bothering him. Naruto’s leaving again, leaving Shikamaru behind to train and the genius can’t see what’s coming around the corner. He needs…he needs to tell him. He’s selfish, he knows it, but he no longer cares about himself. As Naruto turns to leave, the Nara finds him grabbing the blond’s hands and tugging him into his arms. Screw waiting for Naruto, screw dying. He has a moment of weakness and he takes.
At first, Naruto doesn’t kiss back and Shikamaru thinks he’s made a grave mistake. It wouldn’t be the first time, but somehow he thinks this will hurt more than anything else. Then a tongue is pressing between his lips to fight for dominance, fingers grip his hips hard enough to bruise and it’s all Shikamaru can do to press his hands into that golden hair and hang on.
“Naruto, before you go, I need..” he pants when breathing becomes more mandatory than swallowing the taste of his soulmate. “I have to tell you something.” Because Shikamaru is not going another day without telling him the truth. “I love you, you have to come back. It’s you, it’s always been,” he rambles before another kiss cuts him off. This one is just as desperate as the last one and the brunette is left trembling as Naruto breaks the kiss. His brain is blessedly numb and vacant as he smiles dumbly at the blond who is returning it before he kisses the band over Shikamaru’s wrist, his smile turning sad.
“We gotta go, Naruto-boy,” the small green frog grunts and the space between him and Naruto suddenly feels miles wide.
“I wouldn’t take you away from them.” And it takes Shikamaru far too long that Naruto, wonderfully oblivious Naruto, didn’t understand what he had been trying to say.
“No, Naruto that’s not-” he’s cut off again against the press of warm lips before the air displaces around them and his soulmate is gone.
Shikamaru thinks that when Naruto gets back this time, he’s going to sit him down and tell him, even if he has to spell it out for him.
—xOx—
The next time he sees Naruto, he is surrounded by everyone in the village except for him, Choji and Kakashi. Shikamaru is in pain, his leg broken by the fall of rubble and the only way he’s able to be on his feet is with Choji holding him up. Always protecting the Nara and Yamanaka clans, he thinks with amusement but he’s grateful. After everything that has happened today, he’s grateful for the solid presence at his side as his soulmate is finally regarded in the way he deserves: As a hero. Naruto, before he had saved their village, had always been someone Shikamaru looked up to.
“There’s something special about him. I just want to follow him.”
Smiling softly, he remembers their desperate kiss and waits for Naruto to meet his gaze. When those blue eyes turn towards him however, he feels a bucket of cold eyes wash over him as anger radiates from the other man. Shikamaru doesn’t even have time to wonder though as the blond subtly lifts his wrist and his own name is shown back to him in hues of green and black. The only explanation that Shikamaru can think of is that he had exhausted the 9-tails chakra that was healing him and kept his mark hidden. Soon, it would disappear again, but the damage had already been done. The look of betrayal rocked him down to his core and if it wasn’t for Choji’s arm holding him up, he would have collapsed.
“C’mon Shikamaru,” the Akimichi says soothingly, too soothingly for him to not know. He can see pity in his eyes when he turns and yea, when he looks at Ino, she’s looking at him the same way. As Choji hoists him up higher to carry most of his weight, Ino moves to slip under his other arm.
“Let’s go get that leg taken care of, Shikamaru.”
He’s grateful to his friends as they carry him away and as Ino splints his leg, they don’t comment as the man who rarely shows emotions cries.