Bonds Beyond Blood

A few days after Kakashi spoke to the Hokage about adopting Naruto, the newly promoted jōnin signed all the necessary documents to finalize the adoption process. Once the paperwork was complete and the Uzumaki baby was entrusted to him, the silver-haired teen had a new challenge to face — finding a new place to live.

During the final week of the four that had passed, Kakashi finally secured a better place than the apartment he had previously lived in, thanks to financial assistance from the Sandaime and his personal savings. It was a medium-sized, single-story house with three rooms — one for himself, one for Naruto, and an additional room for any guests — a bathroom, a living room, a kitchen, and even a backyard. The day he purchased it was the same day they moved in, a quick transition made easier by the fact that Kakashi owned very little furniture. The rest, he planned to buy gradually.

However, this was just the beginning of the hardest part — taking care of Naruto.

As expected, Kakashi had no experience caring for a baby, especially one as energetic as the Uzumaki, which he quickly realized after Naruto was placed in his care. The blond baby was unusually active for his age and constantly craved attention or playtime. If left unattended for too long, he would cry for hours, with the only solution being constant attention. To make matters worse, Kakashi soon discovered that Naruto was fussy when it came to food, diapers, and clothing.

Thus began the jōnin’s four days of torment in his new home.

Day 1

Kakashi had bought a brand of diapers at a store, which, according to the recommendation, was the best on the market. Delighted to have finally found what he believed to be the perfect solution for Naruto, he was unaware of the ordeal awaiting him once he returned home. As soon as he walked in, he removed his shoes and put away everything he had bought in the fridge and closets. With the diapers in hand, he headed to Naruto’s room, where he assumed the baby was sleeping…until he heard him wailing at the top of his lungs.

“Please, please…Let this brand be the right one,” Kakashi muttered, pleading to the Sage of Six Paths or any other deity that may be listening.

Approaching the crib, he prayed that Naruto’s mishap was liquid and not solid. Thankfully, his wish was granted. When he picked up Naruto, he found that the baby’s diaper was wet. Relieved, he quickly set to work, swapping out the old diaper for the new brand in under a minute. The baby now had a fresh diaper, and the old one was promptly discarded in the trash.

“You’re more comfortable now, right, Naruto?” Kakashi gave a closed-eyed smile, convinced that the baby would finally settle down — until, after a second of calm, Naruto started crying again.

“U-Uh!? You don’t like these diapers either!?”

Panicked, Kakashi glanced at the clock on the wall. It read 7:30 p.m. If he hurried — and knowing it was his only option — he could dash to a store in Konoha and buy as many different diaper brands as needed until his adopted little brother accepted one. Sighing in frustration, Kakashi strapped Naruto into his baby carrier, grabbed his wallet, and after slipping his sandals back on, headed to the nearest store that sold diapers.

But who would have guessed it would take him an hour to find the right brand?

Day 2

Having solved one of the baby’s problems, Kakashi thought he would finally have some peace at home. How wrong he was…Although Naruto no longer fussed over his new diapers, when it came to bath time and feeding, it was as if he had turned into a demon straight from the depths of hell.

Since it was morning, Kakashi woke up early — or rather, he only slept for an hour — and began preparing the baby’s formula. As expected, he had bought a new brand of formula, hoping that this one would give him fewer problems. Naruto sat in his highchair, making excited noises as he waited eagerly for his meal.

Once the milk in the bottle was warm, Kakashi approached Naruto, who waved his tiny hands excitedly at the sight of both him and, most importantly, his food. Picking him up properly, he placed the bottle’s nipple into the baby’s mouth. At first, Naruto drank eagerly, but soon, his enthusiasm faded, and he became reluctant. When he finally finished, Kakashi gently helped him burp, as the hospital had advised. If the baby didn’t burp after feeding, he could spit up, become fussy, and suffer from gas — all things he wanted to avoid.

“Do you like this milk, Naruto? I’ve been told is the one all the babies prefer these days,” Kakashi said, about to place the blond baby back into the highchair so he could clean the bottle and make his own breakfast. But, of course, that’s when the whining began.

“No, no, no…NO! What’s the problem now!?”

His desperate cry only made Naruto wail louder, leaving Kakashi on the verge of hitting his own head in frustration.

“I-I’m sorry, Naruto. I didn’t mean to yell at you, really…But I don’t know what’s wrong with you! I’ve played with you, I’ve fed you, and I know you haven’t had accidents. I just don’t know what your problem is!” Kakashi exclaimed, on the verge of despair. That’s when he remembered how Naruto had become reluctant to drink the milk after only a few gulps. “Please…don’t tell me you don’t like this brand either!?”

Naruto’s response? A burp, followed by a wave of vomit that soaked both the baby and Kakashi’s clothes with freshly regurgitated formula milk.

Without a word and with a deadpan expression, Kakashi made his way to the bathroom to prepare a bath for Naruto. Bathing him, however, turned out to be no easy task. The Uzumaki was even more restless than before, squirming so much that the jōnin slipped in the tub, hitting his head on the faucet — a mishap that sent Naruto into a fit of giggles.

Meanwhile, the silver-haired teen could only wonder why things like this always happened to him.

Day 3

Kakashi, feeling as though the gods had finally shown him mercy, managed to find Naruto’s preferred and seemingly perfect brand of formula. It hadn’t been easy, especially since it was a rare and highly sought-after brand. Still, the jōnin felt a wave of relief, believing that the torment he had endured would soon be repaid with some much-needed peace and quiet.

With this sense of triumph, Kakashi headed to one of the largest stores in Konoha — the only place that sold the special brand of formula. Feeling more relaxed that he had in days, he gathered everything he needed, stopping by the baby section to grab Naruto’s favorite brand of diapers. Then, he began his search for the formula.

However, as he wandered through each aisle, his confusion slowly turned to dread. The formula he was looking for was nowhere to be found.

“No, no, no, no… NO, PLEASE!” Kakashi screamed, nearly in tears. He frantically scoured every shelf, but found nothing. His distress grew with each passing moment. “How can it be sold out!? Where’s the Bessie-Jumpy milk!?”

“I’m sorry, young man, but that milk ran out just an hour ago,” A kind civilian woman working at the store said, taking pity on him. “We’ll have more in stock first thing tomorrow morning.”

Crushed, Kakashi’s spirit seemed to leave him entirely. With no other choice, he bought the least-hated formula and trudged back home, convinced that some divine force in the heavens was bent on torturing him for its own amusement. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t believe such things — but given how his days had gone lately, it was starting to feel like divine punishment. 

Day 4

After the disastrous day yesterday, Kakashi managed to buy a bottle of Bessie-Jumpy formula first thing this morning — he would have bought more, but there was only one left, and he wasn’t about to let the opportunity slip by. It was not 8 p.m., and Naruto should have been sleep. But, since it seemed all the gods despised him, that wasn’t the case. Naruto just wanted to play and eat, and, truth be told, Kakashi was utterly exhausted. He had tried everything to get the baby to sleep: tiring him out with as much playtime as he wanted, feeding him until he was full, and even signing him a lullaby from his childhood, one his father used to say was the same his mother had sung to him.

In desperation, he had even summoned Pakkun, hoping his presence would finally calm Naruto. But nothing worked! Like the good older brother he was, Kakashi stayed awake until his beloved little brother finally fell asleep…which ended up being at 2 a.m.

Tired but relieved that Naruto had finally dozed off, Kakashi headed straight to his room, hoping to fall asleep the moment his body hit the bed. With that in mind, he lay down, fully expecting to drift off instantly. Yet, to his dismay, the opposite happened. He found himself unable to sleep, no matter how much he wanted to. He spent most of the night tossing and turning until he finally managed to fall asleep at 5 a.m. — only to be woken up by Naruto asking for food and hour later.

Kakashi was now convinced that the Sage of the Six Paths — or some other deity — had a personal vendetta against him.

After enduring four days of what could only be described as torture, Hatake Kakashi realized that if he wanted to survive this stage of his life, he would need all the help he could get. So, without any hesitation or shame, he used his dog summoning contract to call his friends for assistance.

 At this moment, Kurenai, Asuma, and Guy stood in front of their friend’s new home, staring at it in shock. They had been so busy with missions over the past few weeks that they hadn’t a chance to visit Kakashi or Naruto. In fact, they hadn’t even realized that the silver-haired jōnin had moved into a new house. They were aware that he needed a bigger place for himself and the baby, but they didn’t expect him to have moved so soon.

“U-Um…Should we ring the bell?” Kurenai asked her two friends, who nodded in agreement. She pressed the doorbell, and they waited for about five minutes, but no one answered. Kurenai tilted her head in confusion. “Maybe he’s asleep or out?”

Guy and Asuma shrugged — they hadn’t seen Kakashi on their way over. Just then, the door creaked open, revealing a very disheveled Kakashi. His expression was sour, his clothes were wrinkled, his mask was barely hanging on, and his eye was bloodshot, with deep dark circles beneath it. His usual spiky hair was a mess and, upon closer inspection, it looked as though someone had vomited on the middle of his shirt, leaving a dried stain behind.

The three friends stood frozen in shock, their mouths wide open. They had never seen Kakashi look like this before. It was as if he’d been run over by a pack of wild animals.

“Hello…” Kakashi greeted them in a voice that sounded like it came from the dead.

“K-Kakashi? I-Is that really you?” Kurenai and Guy stammered in disbelief, unable to reconcile this version of their friend and rival with the image they had always know.

“Yeah…”

“Don’t tell me you’re in this state just from looking after Naruto,” Asuma teased, struggling to suppress a grin. When the silver-haired teen nodded, he gasped, then burst into loud laugher. “Ha! I warned you! Taking care of baby isn’t easy, and now you’re paying the price! Man, I wish I had a camera right now — you look pathetic!”

Before the Sarutobi heir could continue, Kurenai delivered a sharp slap to the back of his head, silencing him on the spot.

“Ow! Why’d you do that?” Asuma grumbled, rubbing the sore spot.

“To shut you up, you idiot.” Kurenai crossed her arms, giving him a reproachful look. Sometimes, she really questioned how she could be in love with a fool like Asuma — but, oh well, what can you do? “Judging by your face, Kakashi, and the message you sent, I’m guessing you want our help with Naruto. Am I right?”

“Please…help me.” Kakashi pleaded, his eyes almost teary.

“That plea says it all. Don’t worry, we’re here to help,” Kurenai declared, not waiting for anyone else’s response.

With their mission decided, the jōnin led his three friends inside. At the entrance, their removed their sandals and stepped into the living room, where Naruto sat on a baby rug decorated with pictures of dogs. The infant was quietly playing with some blocks, clutching a bunny security blanket in one tiny hand. The scene surprised them — Naruto, the apparent cause of Kakashi’s stress, looked every bit the calm, peaceful baby.

“Honestly, I think you overdid it, calling this a ‘life-or-death mission’,” Asuma observed, glancing at the blonde baby. “You really just need sleep.”

Kakashi’s eye now had a wild, slightly crazed look, and even twitched. “That’s what Naruto wants you to think. He lulls you into a false sense of security, and you buy right into it. But then — BOOM! — chaos breaks loose!” He spoke in a delirious tone, as if only he understood the baby’s cunning plan. “And sure, I’d love to sleep, but this little monster doesn’t make it easy. He’s got endless energy!”

“I hope he keeps that energy when he’s older, so his flames of youth burn brightly!” Guy exclaimed, proudly invoking his favorite mantra.

“Um…moving on…Kakashi, how much sleep have you actually gotten in the past few days?” Kurenai asked, her tone a mix of curiosity and concern. She had every reason to feel that way — her friend, a brilliant shinobi of their generation, looked so exhausted that even a fresh-out-of-the-Academy genin could probably beat him in combat.

“I’ve been getting one or two hours of sleep a day,” Kakashi replied, his voice barely above a mumble.

If they were concerned before, they were outright horrified now. One or two hours? How had he managed to function, let alone survive!?

“Alright, it’s decided. Kakashi, you’re going to take a nap. NOW!” Kurenai ordered.

“B-But...the baby…” The jōnin stammered, trying to resist.

“No excuses; you need a good nap. We’ll handle Naruto, so just relax,” Kurenai stated firmly, taking charge. “First off, is there anything specific he needs? I want to cover all the bases so you’re not disturbed.”

“Well, his favorite brands are Konohuggers diapers and Bessie-Jumpy milk. Trust me, you’ll want to get those if you want to survive,” Kakashi replied in a grave tone.

“Got it, no problem,” Asuma assured him.

“But that’s not all! You can’t leave him alone for more than five minutes, or he’ll cry. And you have to read his favorite story, The Seven Jonin and the Snow Princess, right after eating, or he’ll throw a fit. And…and…” Kakashi rambled on, sounding like a man on the brink of insanity.

“Yes, yes, we’ve got this.” Kurenai said, cutting him off with a wave of her hand.

As Kakashi continued his worried ramblings, he barely noticed that none of his friends were actually listening. Kurenai, having located his room, gently led him there. She didn’t even have to push; as soon as his head hit the pillow, he melted into the bed. He tried to mumble protests about how they’d need him and that he understood Naruto best, but he quickly quieted when Kurenai shot him one of her deadliest glares.

“You’re staying right here to sleep, and you’ll rest as long as you need to,” she said with a sweet smile. Kakashi opened her mouth to argue again, but Kurenai’s smile went from kind to icy. “Don’t make me use a genjutsu to put you to sleep…You know I will.”

Kakashi fell silent immediately.

With her friend finally resting, Kurenai returned to the living room, where Asuma and Guy were making funny faces at Naruto, earning delighted claps and smiles from the baby. Clearing her throat, she got everyone’s attention. Now all that was left was to assign roles, although she already had a plan in mind.

“Kakashi is resting, and we’re not disturbing him,” Kurenai announced firmly. “Now, let’s take care of Naruto. Asuma, you’ll stay here with him while Guy and I go out to pick the supplies.”

“What!? Why me?” Asuma protested, looking offended.

“Didn’t you mention once that you’d looked after babies in the Sarutobi Clan countless times? Sounds like you’ve got quite a bit of experience.” Kurenai replied innocently, though her slight smile hinted otherwise. She watched Asuma glare at her, his pride already starting to prick. “But if you’re not up for it, I’m sure Guy or I could take over.”

This was exactly the reaction Kurenai had been hoping for.

“Of course I can handle a baby! It’ll be a breeze, honestly! In fact, I’m sure it’ll be easier for me than for either of you!” Asuma declared, a vein throbbing on his forehead as his face flushed red. He didn’t even realize he’d been effortlessly manipulated by his crush.

“it’s settled, then! Let’s go, Guy — we’ll need to get to the shops soon if we’re going to buy everything!” Kurenai said with a cheerful, sing-song tone.

“Let’s go!” Guy replied energetically.

With a quick goodbye to Asuma, the two chūnin left him alone in the living room with Naruto. The baby had stopped playing with his blocks and was now staring intently at Asuma, his large blue eyes wide and unblinking. Feeling slightly unnerved, Asuma glanced back at Naruto out of the corner of his eye. The baby’s gaze was so penetrating it was almost as if he could see right through him.

“W-What’s the matter? Do I have monkeys on my face or something?” Asuma asked, half-jokingly. He waited a beat for an answer before realizing he wouldn’t get one. “Uhh…right, you don’t talk yet…”

The both sat in silence, eyes locked. Now that Asuma had a good look, Naruto really did resemble his father, Minato. The blonde hair and deep blue eyes were a mirror image, though Naruto’s face shape and eye structure took after Kushina. The only feature unique to him was the set of whisker-like marks on each cheek — likely a result of the Kyūbi’s chakra. Asuma’s expression darkened. Hard to believe it had only been a month since that fox demon wreaked havoc on Konoha, taking so many lives, including his mother’s…No, he couldn’t let himself go down that path.

Sighing, he looked back at the baby, who was now making amusing noises with his mouth. “For someone who drove Kakashi insane, you’re awfully calm. I bet he was exaggerating just because he’s never looked after a baby before.”

Naruto’s response was to blow a spit bubble, which popped immediately.

“Uh…I’m not sure what to make of that.” Asuma raised his eyebrows, crossing his legs on the floor. Looking around the quiet room, he muttered. “Well, guess I’ll be pretty bored. Kakashi’s asleep, and I have no one else to talk to — except you, I suppose. So, what do you say I tell you a bit about Kurenai? You see, she’s the best kunoichi of our generation. Not only is she kind and beautiful, but she could also kick your butt if she wanted. She’s super smart and loves genjutsu. That’s why she’s the best at it — aside from the Uchiha and Kurama Clans, of course. And also…”

Lost in his musings about Kurenai, Asuma’s cheeks flushed. He was so wrapped up in talking that he didn’t notice Naruto increasingly bored expression as he fiddle with a wooden block in his hand.

“And that’s about everything I can say about her. Ahh…she’s amazing. One day, I bet you’ll have a special girl, too, and think the same way. But don’t rush it, kid.” Asuma grinned at the baby — who promptly threw the wooden block directly at his forehead, leaving a red mark.

Naruto clapped his little hands and giggled, delighted by his own antics, while Asuma glared, rubbing his sore forehead. “Damn brat…”

Both Kurenai and Guy headed straight to the Shopping District, the best place to find everything they’d need for a baby. Rows upon rows of stores lined the bustling streets — clothing shops, grocery stores, school supplies vendors, bookstores…everything anyone might need was there. Some stores were closed, either because they hadn’t opened yet or were undergoing repairs, as the damage from the Kyūbi Attack was still being addressed.

“Kakashi mentioned that Naruto’s favorite brands for diapers and formula are Konohuggers and Bessie-Jumpy,” Kurenai informed the taijutsu master. “We have to get those specific brands if we want to avoid any fuss.”

“Don’t worry, Kurenai. The Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha will not fail this mission!” Guy declared with a sparkling, toothy grin.

“Alright, with that settled, I’ll handle the diapers, and you get the formula,” Kurena said, glancing at a clock on a nearby post, which read 9:30 a.m. “We should be able to finish in an hour or two. And don’t forget your wallet, Guy. I’m not covering for you again like I did three months ago — you still owe me for that.”

“Come on, Kurenai, how was I supposed to know those weights with seals would be so expensive? I just wanted the best to get stronger!” Guy lamented. “And yes, I have my wallet…I think.”

“I’ll trust you this once,” Kurenai muttered with mild skepticism. “Once we have everything, we’ll head back to Kakashi’s house. Got it?”

“You can count on me, Kurenai! I’ll scour every shop in Konoha and buy all of Naruto’s favorite milk!” Guy’s voice boomed with passion, and a fiery aura seemed to radiate, drawing bewildered stares from both civilians and fellow shinobi alike. “If I fail, I’ll hop around Konoha on one leg a thousand times and eat a hundred plates of the spiciest curry there is!”

“G-Guy, calm down; there’s no need to go that far,” Kurenai tried to soothe her friend, though her words fell on deaf ears.

“NO! My duty is to fulfill this mission, no matter what it takes, and I WILL succeed! The flames of youth will never abandon me!” Guy sped off, leaving a dust cloud in his wake. “LET’S GO!”

Watching her friend dash away like a man possessed, Kurenai could only sigh and bring a hand to her face in exasperation.

I know Guy can be…well, not just a little but incredibly competitive and over-the-top, but this isn’t a competition! We’re just helping a friend who needs us! she though, rolling her eyes. Knowing him, he’d probably not only bring back the formula but also ruffle a few thousand people along the way. Ugh…

Trying to regain her composure, Kurenai resumed her own search for a baby supply store, ignoring the curious looks of passerby who likely guessed she was in league with the fervent Green Beast of Konoha.

“You’re bothering the customers! GET OUT!” the shop owner shrieked.

Guy walked out of the shop with his head hung low, feeling the intense glares of both the owner and the other customers. This wasn’t the first time he’d been kicked out of a shop — no, it was actually the fourth. And always for the same reason: disturbing the customers and, inevitably, any potential new ones. At first, he thought they were overreacting, but after being thrown out of four different stores, he was starting to realize he might actually be the problem.

“Ugh…Kurenai said we need to be at Kakashi’s house in an hour or two, and it’s already been almost an hour…What do I do?” Guy muttered, wondering if it was worth trying another store just to be kicked out again.

“Hey, Guy, how’s it going?” came a familiar voice.

Looking up, Guy saw his former teammate, Genma Shiranui. Unlike him and their other teammate, Ebisu, Genma was a tokubetsu jōnin, known for his ninjutsu skills, especially in space-time techniques. He had even been one of the elite bodyguards of the former Yondaime Hokage, who taught him and the others a version of his famous Flying Thunder God Technique.

“Oh, Genma! I didn’t see you there,” Guy greeted warmly. “I’m doing alright — just trying to find a milk called ‘Bessie-Jumpy’.”

“Bessie-Jumpy? Yeah, I’ve heard of it. My mom’s friend says it’s her baby’s favorite,” Genma replied, somewhat puzzled. “It’s formula milk, I think. The Nakamura Store should carry it. But…if you don’t mind me asking, why are you looking for baby formula?”

“It’s not for me; it’s for Kakashi’s baby,” Guy answered innocently, completely unaware of how shocking his words sounded.

Genma’s mouth dropped open as he wondered if he’d misheard and needed his ears checked. There was no way what Guy had just said could be true. Kakashi didn’t have a baby…Right?

Guy glanced at a nearby clock and realized he was running out of time. “It was nice seeing you, Genma, but I really have to go. Goodbye!”

With a quick farewell, the green-clad ninja took off in the direction Genma had indicated, leaving a trail of dust behind. Genma, meanwhile, stood rooted in place, unable to shake the words echoing in his mind. Having known Guy for years, he knew his friend wasn’t the best at lying, which made the statement all the more bewildering. If anything, Guy’s expression had been nothing but genuine.

“Kakashi has a baby…” Genma muttered, still in shock. “I have to tell everyone!” He turned and hurried off to find their friends.

It seemed that Kakashi’s life was about to get a lot more complicated.

“I’m sure Naruto will look so adorable in this! He’ll love it! I can’t wait to see his face!” Kurenai exclaimed excitedly, holding up a pair of sky-blue booties and a little rattle. “I better not forget to get diapers, though, or this whole trip will be pointless. Luckily, I’m already in the baby section, so they should be around here somewhere.”

With her shopping basket in hand, Kurenai scanned each shelf, looking for Konohuggers diapers.

“Attention, dear customers,” a voice announced over the store’s PA system. Kurenai, like many others, paused to listen to the announcement. “We’re pleased to inform you that there is a 30% discount on diapers in our baby section. Happy shopping to everyone!”

And that’s when chaos broke loose.

A stampede of women — and the occasional man — rushed into the baby section, where Kurenai happened to be standing. She had already placed two packs of Konohuggers diapers into her basket and was reaching for a third when someone snatched it right out of her hands. The crowd, frenzied by the sale, resorted to anything — scratching, kicking, even biting — to grab as many diapers as possible. It was absolute mayhem.

“Hey! That was unnecessary!” Kurenai protested, crossing her arms.

“¡Shut up!” someone shouted back.

“Come on, everyone! There’s no need to get worked up over a sale,” Kurenai said in a friendly tone, hoping to calm them down.

Her words only made things worse. The shoppers grew even more hostile, irritated by being scolded by someone younger. The chaos escalated to the point where one of them shoved Kurenai to the floor, snatching the diapers from her basket in the process.

“What does a brat like you know about sales? You’re still young, you don’t understand a thing, so don’t try to lecture us!” sneered an unpleasant woman who had taken note of Kurenai’s age — and the baby products in her basket. “So young and buying baby stuff? You must be one of those spoiled, promiscuous types who does whatever she wants with her body!”

Kurenai froze, stunned by the woman’s cruel words.

“Brat? Spoiled!? P-PROMISCUOUS!?” A vein throbbed on Kurenai’s forehead, her expression shifting from calm to pure, unfiltered rage. Did this WITCH really just call me all that!? No more Ms. Nice Girl! With her face flushed red, Kurenai’s furious gaze locked onto the woman and the entire horde of stampeding shoppers. The woman’s face fell as she realized — too late— that she’d made a serious mistake. “You’re really getting on my nerves, you savages! Let’s see how you like this!”

Rising to her feet, Kurenai quickly formed a series of hand seals, and when she finished, everyone in the section dropped to the floor, clutching their heads. Calmly, Kurenai collected her basket, retrieved the solen diapers, grabbed another pack of Konohuggers, and headed straight to the cashier.

Idiots. They didn’t even realize I trapped them in a genjutsu. Kurenai thought, her irritation slowly easing. Good thing they were civilians. If any of them had been shinobi, they’d have spotted it right away. She couldn’t help but hope that her lesson would encourage them to abandon their nasty behavior. And if not, well, her next genjutsu wouldn’t be quite as merciful.

The illusion she’d cast was a relatively simple, yet rather cruel, one: each person would see their spouse with someone younger. She knew she shouldn’t use ninja techniques on civilians, but at this point, she couldn’t care less.

“Now, all that’s left is to get back with Guy to Kakashi’s house, and that’s it!” Kurenai smiled to herself, feeling immensely satisfied.

The owner of the house slowly opened his eyes, yawning and stretching his arms to shake off the lingering sleep. Glancing at the clock on his nightstand, he noticed six hours had passed since Kurenai had practically ordered him to bed. Yawning again, he stepped out of his room, heading to the living room where he knew his friends would be keeping watch over Naruto. His instincts were correct — his friends were gathered around a very cheerful Naruto. But to his surprise, all three of them were sound asleep, and in the corner of the room, he spotted a few shopping bags.

“Did something happen, guys?” Kakashi raised his voice slightly to rouse them.

The trio slowly opened their eyes, but almost immediately, they sprang up, surrounding Kakashi with tired yet determined expressions. To add to his confusion, Asuma grabbed him by the collar and gave him a surprisingly firm shake for someone who looked utterly exhausted.

“You’re going to pay for this, Kakashi…” Asuma muttered, barely concealing his frustration. Guy and Kurenai nodded in empathic agreement.

“What?” Kakashi managed to say, caught off guard.

“Next time you ask us to help take care of Naruto, you better treat us to a meal!” Kurenai exclaimed, her face flushing red. “I’m not going through the insults I endured from those witches again!”

“I second what Kurenai said!” Guy declared passionately.

“What?” Kakashi repeated, even more confused.

After a lengthy explanation about their misadventures while he was peacefully asleep, his friends bid him farewell, but not before reminding him firmly that the next time they all went out to eat, he was covering the bill. Left alone with Naruto, Kakashi looked down at the baby with a mix of relief and confusion, grateful he’d finally gotten the sleep he needed — though thoroughly puzzled by everything that had unfolded while he was out.

“I hope you enjoy all these cards and gifts, Kakashi!” Genma exclaimed, setting down his own gift basket just inside the door of Kakashi’s home.

“W-What?” Kakashi stammered, a twitch forming in his right eye.

“Yeah, for your baby! No need to be embarrassed — Guy told me all about it, so don’t worry,” Genma said casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Anyway, I’ve got a mission to get to. See you!”

As Genma disappeared down the road, Kakashi muttered a curse against the taijutsu user’s name, aiming it skyward with exasperation.