Kakashi's on the ground, he doesn't think he could get up if he tried. Gai's head in his lap. He's sitting on his knees, in the waste land that was the battlefield. Its not really a battle anymore.
Kakashi keeps his eyes on Gai's face, hoping that will help him ignore how his chest has stop moving up and down with his heart beat. How he doesn't have a heart beat anymore. Kakashi blinks as he hears Obito take a sharp breath in.
How Kakashi heard that? He's not sure, he can't really hear any of the battle anymore. Most of it's over anyway, just Naruto and sakura vs the moon now.
Kakashi turns his head to his left, chin tilting up to look at Obito, who's standing now, staring at where the camotion is coming from, or was really. Because Kakashi has a feeling he knows what that look on Obito's face means. And why he could hear his breath.
it's over now isn't it?
After everything, its finally over.
Kakashi thinks this is one of those moments he's supposed to feel Zen or inner peace or something. Knowing that he did his best with what he had and that everything is going to happen anyway, what's the point in fighting it?
He just feels sick. And scared. He'd feel pissed if he wasn't so fucking tired. He misses Gai.
Obito relaxes, his shoulders falling as he releases the breath he was holding. His eyes say it all as he looks at Kakashi.
Kakashi feels like crying. Oh wait, no. Kakashi is crying. Huh. He didn't realize he still had tears, thought he was to dehydrated for that.
As his now perfect vision gets all blurry from the tears he turns his head down from where he was looking up at Obito, to look at the area between his feet. Not that he could see it really, just the blurred colors.
He's not sure how long he cries, time feels all disoriented here. probably not to long since everything is the same when he can see through the tears again, he can still feel them rolling down his bear cheeks. He doesn't really remember when his mask came off but its been such a long battle he's not sure it matters.
He snorts out loud. Nothing matters now.
His kids are dead. Gai is dead. The village is long gone and all the people are to. Shinobi or civilian. He's not- he's not sure what he's supposed to. To think or do or anything. Really.
He sniffles. Looking back at Gai's head in his lap. Running his fingers through his hair.
"oh Gai " He says softly, in a whisper. Like he's just woken up and Gai's trying to get him to come eat breakfast but he wants Gai to shut up and cuddle in bed with him already. All fond and tried like.
He feels grief for Gai in a way he hasn't for the others, and there have been so many others. So many people that have died in his life. So much grief.
Yet none have felt like this. Like he wants to just sit there and hold the corpse in his lap simply because it use to be Gai. Simply because he use to love the soul that lived in it.
Before he could think any more on it Obito speaks. Saying his name, and waiting to know he has his attention before continuing.
"Kakashi."
Kakashi blinks and more tears spill down his face. He takes one more look at Gai, breathing softly before he turns to look at Obito. Who had crouched, turned to face Kakashi now. His white hair blowing in a small breeze.
Kakashi wishes the world would get the memo, its dead, everything is dead now. Why keep spinning without them in it? Everyone is gone.
Naruto, Sakura. Gai, and Tenzo. Fucking Sasuke.
Oh, Kakashi guesses he's not to tired to get angry.
Before his thoughts can go on and list more people he's lost, Obito continues.
"I think. We can stop this." Kakashi changes his mind, he's too tired for this. "You can stop this."
Kakashi doesn't want to. Kakashi just wants to lay in a grave with Gai and see his kids again. He doesn't even want to die really. Just to be with Gai. Just to tell Naruto how fucking proud of him he is. Tell Sakura she was his favorite and Sasuke that he grew up nicely. To tell Sai he was always a part of the team, and to ruffle Tenzo's hair again. Just to see his offended look trying to hide how much it comforts him, like when they were young.
He just wants to go home. To his family. Even if he's never been there, never had one. He wants-
He-
.
He takes a breath. Looks at Obito with Dead eyes. And waits for him to continue.
He does.
Talking about time travel and tail beasts. About when and where. What and how. But Kakashi doesn't care. Not really. He just wants to go home, a home he's never known. But home. With Gai and Sakura, Naruto and Sai. Sasuke maybe. Tenzo definitely. Where his pack could run around in a big yard and spend all the time with him. Where he could- where-
And he's lost it again. Tuning back into Obito as he rambles.
Kakashi doesn't get paid enough for this. Ha that's funny, he's gonna say it.
"I don't get paid enough for this." He makes sure he says it deadpan. Vision vacant. It's very easy.
It stops whatever Obito was saying as he stares at Kakashi with his brows pitched. Like he can't tell if Kakashi is bullshitting or not.
"Kakashi, you don't get paid?" Its clear he wasn't trying to make it a question but it turned into one by the end. Like he wasn't sure himself if Kakashi was getting paid.
Of course he wasn't but it's funny as shit to him. He wants to laugh. To bad he's so fucking out of emotions that he still looks dead inside. Or well, he thinks, maybe that's okay because that means he gets to fuck with Obito more.
Obito sighs. "Kakashi, you're the only one I trust with this." Kakashi decides he should probably try to pay attention this time. Kakashi can't tell what is different with how Obito is speaking now other then it is different. More personal. meant just for Kakashi.
Obito continues, like Kakashi didn't speak, because he didn't, he was just thinking. Gods Kakashi is tried. "Even if I could choose anyone in the world. Dead or alive or- whatever. I would still choose you Kakashi. I would still pick you."
Kakashi wishes that made him feel better or good or warm or something. Anything, mad even, but he really meant it when he said he was out of emotions. He's been so drained he can't even feel hope. He just wants-
Is there a point in thinking of what he wants again?
no.
He's so tried.
And so Obito goes on. Kakashi listening as best he can, petting Gai's hair with his hand and trying to comprehend Obito's plan.
Obito sighs again. He's stopped talk now. Just looking at Kakashi who's looking at what use to be Gai, playing with the hair that Gai use to gel into shape so it didn't get all wild when he was moving around and fighting.
_____________
Kakashi is 6.
Kakashi is 6 and has graduated from the academy.
He feels small- he is small.
He's so small.
He's meeting Minato-sensai today. God he's so small. The doorways are so tall. The people are too. The world is big and he is not.
It's raining out. He misses Gai.
He feels a breeze in his hair from a opened window. The world keeps spinning.
God he doesn't want to do this.
He doesn't want to be here.
Sure he could say he has a second chance, but he doesn't want a do-over. He wants his messy first attempt. He wants Naruto and his bad eating habits, even if they're cuz he had nothing else as a kid. He wants Sasuke and his everything, sure he would- Will. Will do better this time but the Sasuke that gave up everything in the end, just like them? With them? Despite everything and maybe because of it? That's the Sasuke he wants to get to know.
God he wants his Sakura back, the one that patched him up so much she knew his body better then he did. The one student that stayed in the village with him when the others left. Even if he could help her in the right way this time, even if he could make her so much better this time.
He doesn't want to. He wants her the way she was. He doesn't want a this time.
Because he knows, he knows that they will never be the people he knew. Even if he did everything the same, every word, every fight, everything. They would still change from what they were, who they were. They will never be the same people and he doesn't want them.
He doesn't want them.
He wants his family back. His team. His Gai.
He misses Gai.
He misses Gai and he wants him more then anything and nothing.
He-
.
The rain hits the window in front of him. He was starting out it instead of doing whatever else he was supposed to be doing. Was he supposed to be doing anything?
He thought that it would look better to be starting out the window at the world then staring at anything in the room. Its empty but he doesn't know who could be watching him. He doesn't know if he-
He sighs.
He is treating this like a mission. Letting himself fall into the motions and letting his "ninja brain" as young Naruto had called it, take over. It's an infiltration mission. Long term. He is to pretend to be a younger version of himself and continue life here working the best he can to stop the end of the world.
He misses taking Gai's challenges.
There are foot steps down the hall.
He remembers climbing the hokage mtn in the rain with Gai.
The foot steps get closer, the rain drops slide down the glass.
It was for a challenge, they were racing.
The foot steps stop. The rain slides all the way to the bottom, more covering the glass in its place.
The rain soaked them to the bone.
He's so tried.
Gai made them both change their clothes right after so they didn't get sick.
The door slides open.
Kakashi closes his eyes.
The rain keeps pouring.
"Hello?"
Kakashi takes a second with his eyes still closed but the moment is broken, he's back in reality now.
__________