I’m always running from something
Shikamaru is taking a smoking break when he finds him.
With his new job at T&I, Shikamaru often finds himself taking long smoke breaks when cases aren’t naturally unravelling for him and he needs the space to think.
His favourite place to wander to is a nearby training ground - not one of the closest, most commonly used ones, but near enough to T&I to warn off both civilians and ninja alike. It’s heavily wooded, the ground crinkling with every step, which he likes since he finds it harder to think in silence - the noise stimulates his senses enough to clear him mind, rather than clutter it.
He rounds a thick tree trunk, deep in thought, wondering what the nonsense cipher message he uncovered could mean, when he quite literally stumbles across him.
Catching himself on his knees, a palm pressed to the bark of the wide tree he just rounded, he stares wide-eyes at the red, tear-stained face of Sasuke sitting before him - the other looking just as shocked as he feels.
Mah, what a drag…
Pushing himself away so that he isn’t looming over him, he drops down into a seated position, sighing mournfully over his dropped cigarette, before pulling another from the pack. He pauses, then offers one to the still silent boy beside him, which seems to pull him out of his shock, red face morphing into an embarrassed glare.
“What are you doing here?” He asks brusquely, rubbing roughly at the tear marks on his cheeks.
“Smoke break,” Shikamaru shrugs, puffing out a cloud of smoke with a raised eyebrow towards it, as if to prove his point. “You?”
Huffing, Sasuke crosses his arms defensively, leaning back against the tree trunk behind him, eyes staring out into the forest, avoiding Shikamaru’s penetrating gaze.
The silence lasts for long enough that the Nara thinks he isn’t going to get a response, before finally he hears a mumbled, “bad mission.”
“Hmm…” he hums in understanding. It makes more sense as to why the other hasn’t body flickered away from him yet - he probably isn’t ready to see his own teammates yet - Shikamaru gets it. “How bad are we talking?” He asks, frowning when the other’s breathing picks up.
“Woah, hey, calm down.” He says, quickly stubbing his cigarette out on the tree beside him and tucking it behind his ear, before turning his body to face the other. “It’s alright, Sasuke, just breathe…” he soothes.
The boy does as he asks and takes a couple of shaky, but deep breaths, flinching slightly when Shikamaru reaches out to gently rub up and down his arm, before leaning into the touch. “Sorry,” he mumbles, frowning at the earth below them, his sandalled foot lightly pushing the leaves into little piles.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Shikamaru replies quietly, debating with himself for a moment, before asking, “did everyone get home safe?”
A hitched breath, then a shaky nod, is the reply he gets. “Sensei and the Dobe are both in the hospital, but Sakura sorted them out as well as she could. She’s at her apartment sleeping it off now.”
“And why aren’t you doing the same?” Shikamaru prods.
Another huff. “I just… didn’t want to be cooped up at the minute. Needed to see trees and know I’m home - that I got them back safe,” he grumbles, frowning down at his little piles of leaves like they’ve personally offended him.
“Yeah, I get you,” Shikamaru nods, throwing the other a wiry smile when he sends him a disbelieving look. “What, you think you’re the only guy in the village who’s been on a bad mission?” He teases.
Sasuke scoffs at that, rolling his eyes. “Obviously not, but it’s a little bit different for you and me.”
“Oh yeah? Explain it to me then,” Shikamaru challenges, smirking internally when the other’s eyes alight with challenge, the pale-skinned boy shaking off the anxiety he’s been carrying with him for their whole interaction so far.
“I’m a frontline fighter. It’s my job to stop the enemy from getting through to the others - so if the other’s get hurt then it’s because I didn’t do my job properly - and I know they can all take care of themselves, but what’s the point of being our frontline man and a Kenjutsu specialist if I don’t stop them on the Front. Line.” Sasuke says, panting a little. “How could you understand that?” He asks, and Shikamaru can see that while he practically spits the question, his eyes are begging for understanding.
“Well, one could argue that it was Kakashi’s fault, not yours as the team leader and strategist - in fact, most senior ninja in Konoha will agree with me that if the plan falls apart on the front lines, it’s because the plan was a shit one - not because you’re bad at your job, Sasuke,” Shikamaru sighs, shaking his head at the lack of understanding on Sasuke’s face. Bloody frontline shinobi only thinking about swinging their swords about. “Fundamentally, if a mission goes as wrong as this one seems to have, it’s because of bad planning. Everyone knows how fucking strong you are Sasuke, so if things went tits up, it’s not because you weren’t strong enough, it’s because your leader’s plan wasn’t solid enough to survive encounter with the enemy.”
“Right, but even if the plan was bad I still should have been strong enough to—“
“Nah, I’m gonna cut you off there, pretty boy. You could be the strongest fighter in all of Konoha, but if you’re given a plan that plays to all of your weaknesses then it doesn’t matter how strong you are - the mission is going to fail.”
“But how could you possibly know—“
“Because I’m the guy that makes the plans,” Shikamaru snaps, cutting Sasuke off. Sighing, he shakes his head with a muttered, ”troublesome,” before continuing. “I know how you feel, because I know what it’s like for my team to put their lives in my hands and for me to blow it. To give them a risky plan in the hope that it goes the way I want it to, only for it to flip and leave us all scrambling to stay alive - all because I didn’t come up with a good enough, safe enough plan - and thats on me. It’s not because Chouji wasn’t strong enough, or because Ino wasn’t quick enough, it’s because I didn’t come up with a plan that would work.
”So if you’re mission went to shit and enemies got past you, it’s not because you’re not good enough, it’s because Kakashi put you in a position where that outcome was inevitable… you got everyone home, which is the best you could have done with the plan you were given,” he sighs, turning his head away from the pitch black eyes that seem to be trying to pierce into all of his vulnerabilities.
The boy eventually sits back and stares pensively at the canopy of leaves above them, twitching slightly when Shikamaru flicks open his lighter to relight his cigarette, enjoying the quiet between them, brain starting to drift back to his mystery cipher.
It’s a couple of minutes later when the Uchiha stands smoothly, brushing leaves and dirt from his uniform like it has personally offended him, before clearing his throat awkwardly.
Turning to him with a raised eyebrow, Shikamaru gives him all of his attention.
“I can see what you’re trying to say, but ultimately I think both Ino and Chouji would disagree with you if they were here. You’re called a team for a reason. So while I definitely let through some enemies that normally I wouldn’t have, it was only because I was overwhelmed with more ninja than I was expecting because Naruto’s traps didn’t work the way they were supposed to. Equally, Sensei’s plan didn’t prepare for that and since he had Naruto for back up, that left our medic as the one dealing with ninja that we specifically lured in for me to fight as they were a good match for me - but a poor match for Sakura. I’m still not even sure what went wrong on the other two’s end of things, but when Sakura and I finished our guys off, they were both critically injured - and Sakura did her best to stabilise them, but she was low on chakra after helping me with my guys, then she passed out so I had to find a way to carry all three of them back to Konoha while watching out for enemy attacks along the way and it was just… rough. It was a rough mission.” Sasuke sighs, rubbing a hand across his forehead with a wince. “But, we are a team and if it was one person’s fault, then it was all of our faults.” He finishes, glaring at the surprised face Shikamaru is sending him.
I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard Sasuke talk…
“You’re right… it’s a team effort,” he acquiesces, standing up with a wince and a groan - the tree hasn’t been good to his back. “So, go get some rest and then give Naruto hell when he wakes up for his shitty traps,” he jokes, sending a wink towards the other as he starts walking back to T&I - he’s definitely going to get bollocked for leaving for so long, what a drag.
He hears a quiet, “mn,” from behind him and the telltale swirl of leaves that signifies a shunshin being used.
Well, that was probably the weirdest thing to happen to him this month…