Chapter 5
Obito lay on the surface of the water—- or, well, it was like water. He could never place what it really was, if it was really anything at all. It felt like water, but it never left him wet. Even now, as he stood up, he was completely dry. He lets out a sigh, hating these dreams.
Although, he hated any of his dreams since almost dying. It kept him from sleeping much, which didn’t help when he lost control of Hashirama’s chakra. Especially with how big it had been this time. It was a miracle he had even been able to walk afterwards, let alone put distance between him and Konoha. He sighs again, knowing he was going to have to turn around and face the kid eventually. He couldn’t ignore him forever— it just made him louder.
He levels his gaze at the boy, who looked back at him with worry and sadness in his eyes, tears threatening to spill out. What a crybaby. Obito huffs at him, not saying anything. He didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to be talking to him. He wished he would just stay away. Stay buried down.
“You killed her….” His voice is quiet, almost as if he couldn’t believe it.
“This is what has to be done.”
“But—-”
“Do you want Rin back or not?!”
Obito hadn’t meant to snap, and it made the child flinch a bit as the volume of his voice, before he looked away. He did want Rin back– they wanted Rin back.
“But…..Kushina—”
“Was in the way.” Obito’s voice is cold, and the boy looks at him in surprise. “She got in the way. It won’t matter in the long run. You know this. I’ve told you this. This is what has to be done. It doesn’t matter who stands against us– against me– this is what has to be done.” His voice softens. “And then, none of this will matter. We’ll have our perfect world. Everyone will be happy. Isn’t that what you wanted? Why you wanted to become Hokage?”
He doesn’t say anything in response. That was why he had wanted to be Hokage. They– he– wanted to make sure no one would hurt like he had. Didn’t want anyone to feel alone like he did. He wanted to protect people. Not just the people he cared about, but everyone.
So it only made what he– they– had done hurt more.
“I don’t want this….”
“It doesn’t—-”
“I wanna go home….”
“There is no home for us.”
“I want—-”
“There was never a home for us.”
“I—--”
“You don’t get what you want. You know this. We both know this!” Obito was shouting by the end, hands clenched into fists, rage coursing through him. Wide eyes stare back at him, almost a little fearful. Fearful of what he had become. It was what was necessary. It was what he had to keep telling himself—-
What he had to keep telling the child.
“I want to go home….” His voice was so soft, Obito almost didn’t hear him. His hands were clutched in front of his chest, fingers threaded together. “I don’t—-” Tears slipped down his cheeks. “I want to go home.”
Obito is silent, staring at the other as he cried silently, only letting out a quiet sniffle every once in a while. They stay like that for a bit, the boy trying to wipe away his tears with his sleeves, but they didn’t stop. They wouldn’t stop.
He had had this same conversation countless times, ever since what he had seen happen to Rin. Ever since he had watched her die. Ever since he had agreed to Madara’s plan. That small voice inside of him, no matter how much he tried to push it away, to bury it down, to ignore it. It wouldn’t stay away. It wouldn’t leave him alone. He kept tugging at him, begging– pleading.
Obito had ignored him.
Obito just had to ignore him.
Eventually, he would go away. Wouldn’t he? Obito wanted him to go away. He had to do this. He had to get Rin back. And he could have everyone else too. He could finally have what he wanted. He wouldn’t be alone ever again.
None of this would matter.
The blood on his hands—---
Obito sighs quietly. He was tired. Even sleeping, he was tired. It was like it never went away, pressing down on him and settling into his bones.
“I want to go home….”
“There is no home for us, kid. That’s why we have to make one.”