She had always been his safe place, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Ever since they were little kids he always found a great deal of comfort in confiding in her, even though those moments were brief and sparse, it was impactful enough to be a core memory of his
He loved the way her eyes seemed to light up every time he called out to her, it was as though she held the power of a full moon within them. Of course he never told anybody this, he feared they would assume that he felt the same way about Neji’s eyes or worse yet…Hiashi’s. His body shuddered just by the thought of those rumors spreading…..contrary to what people may think he wasn’t completely shameless.
For the longest time he wanted to be to her what she was to him
A safe space, a source of comfort, someone she could dump her problems and worries on
He’ll later discover her problems were completely different compared to his
Except he didn’t have the first clue on how to be that person, they were both busy with missions, a war was approaching, people were trying to kill him, it was all too much for a 15 year old to handle
So after the war, at the mature age of 16 (or what he felt like was mature) he decided to make an effort to be that person for her
The only problem was that she was never around
He imagined losing Neji was taking a toll on her, heck he’d seen what losing Itachi did to Sasuke and he hated his brother for most of his life
At the memorial for the fallen shinobi he secretly watched her, she didn’t shed a single tear, she just stood there until she was one of the last few remaining
It was the first time he noticed the spark that made her eyes so unique started to dim
It was like watching the moon slowly but painstakingly descend into the dark abyss of the stratosphere and there was nothing he could do about it
A while after the memorial he began to hear rumors about the Hyuugas, disagreements and unrest amongst the clan concerning the caged bird seal and what would happen to the future generation of children
There were also whispers about the line of succession of leadership within the clan, that there were now controversy regarding who should take over when Lord Hiashi steps down
Of course they were only whispers and speculations….no one in their right mind dared utter any names for fear of being reprimanded
Since those rumors popped up nobody saw her at all, she didn’t attend any gatherings at Ichiraku or Yakiniku barbeque, she didn’t attend the regular meetings for shinobi of the village, it was as though she disappeared off the face of the village (and yes she was 100% still in the village, he annoyed Kakashi until he told him so for certain)
One day he ended up voicing his concerns to Shikamaru who revealed to him that it was something political she was trying to navigate, that she was careful not to drag any of her friends into her clan problems and that she didn’t want to tarnish anyone’s reputation. His stomach felt weird when he realized that Shikamaru, who wasn’t even part of Team 8, has been in fact seeing her regularly, and an ugly green demon began to rise when he pressed for further information and found out that she and Shikamaru babysits Mirai for Kurenai sensei from time to time. For some reason he was extremely jealous by that bit of information but he decided to keep his feelings to himself.
One night the gang was gathered at a restaurant and to his excitement Hinata actually showed up with Kiba and Shino. She looked thinner compared to the last time he saw her, she was dressed in formal wear like she just came from a meeting. Her eyes almost looked like a typical Hyuuga
Almost
There was still an ever so tiny light still buried in there somewhere, she just needed the right person to ignite it
When she showed up to dinner everyone was excited to see her, the girls squealed and showered her with hugs before dragging her to sit in between them. But nobody questioned her about being so distant with them, they knew better than to add any more pressure on her since those rumors started spreading
They were simply enjoying her presence
That was until, to everyone’s shock, she was summoned back to the Hyuuga compound
By Lord Hiashi himself
Usually it would be Ko or another branch member who would escort her back to the compound, never her father himself
He could see the brief moment of shock that passed over her face when she laid eyes upon her father and in that moment he swore he saw whatever little light she had remaining in her die
It was like watching the moon fall, crashing down on the Earth, and there wasn’t a soul strong enough to do anything about it
You could hear a pin drop as she got up and put money on the table for her share of dinner before she left with her father
Dinner went by fairly quickly, some choosing to eat in silence, others seemed to have lost their appetite.
His legs seemed to be moving on autopilot, making his way to the cemetery to say goodnight to his parents and sensei
It became somewhat of a habit for him, to visit their graves when he had a lot on his mind and needed a place to be at peace and talk to them
It was there he saw her, sitting in front of Neji’s grave, tear stained cheeks, shaky hands which she tried to control as she held it tightly to her chest
It was just as he feared
The moon had fallen
As he walked closer he could hear her labored breathing, each breath a cry for air in her desperate attempt to calm herself
She was having a panic attack
He’d had his fair share of those since Jiraya sensei passed away so he didn’t panic
Instead he made his way beside her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head
“Just listen to my heart beat Hinata, let’s take one deep breath in”
He inhaled together with her
“And out”
He continued the process until she calmed down, but his arms never left her body as they sat in silence, with only the dark night sky as their witness
While the moon was an entity of its own, it also reflected the energy of the sun, giving off a beauty on the darkest nights that many do not appreciate whilst sound asleep
But the sun was always there, peaking over the Earth to catch a glimpse of the rarest beauty in the galaxy, always eager to see just how much more beautiful the moon would look night after night, year after year
The moon always had the sun at her side, helping her ignite the light she so desperately desired
And the sun always had the moon at his side, helping him balance the raging inferno he held inside him