365 (-1)= 364 Days
Sometimes it’s hard for him to process information. Specifically, information that centres on emotion, as opposed to logic. He knew he was not the most apt and the most emotionally intelligent among his siblings. He’s sure it was because people do not seem to see that logic just comes naturally for him; like an extra limb that he could manoeuvre to its own will; to construct and deconstruct. Perhaps, that was why he worked better with machines, locking himself away in his lab at the company and left to his own devices. He was relieved that important enough in his workplace that he has been granted freedom to create whatever he and the company wanted.
Cold. Aloof. Selfish. Was among the other things that he has heard whispered through the grapevines. Sure, he was a private person but does not mean he’s deaf. Gossip still reaches him despite his hatred for such things; he finds it distasteful for people to talk about others behind their backs. However, despite being a person such as himself, he still has emotions, regardless of his distaste of it. It works to just burry it deep, so deep it will never resurface or just discard it so that he would not have to look into the reason he felt it.
But there is time when the emotion was just too overwhelming that it shocks him. His head just buzzed and a soft ringing that the longer it rang, it sounded as if it was lulling him to sleep. Sometimes, he felt his eyes glassy and blurry that he could not see what was in front of him.
Distantly, he heard the sound of his alarm clock. Time must have passed. But the haze felt so good, like a cocoon shielding him from what’s to come.
But what was to come?
He wasn’t quite sure when he’d stood up, only that his feet walking towards his bathroom. Oh, he was in his bedroom, the one to the right if one were to come from the stairs. Eyes blinking and the lights were on. He’d felt this before, this cocoon. It was frightening when it happened the first time. It was in his first year of university, in his room. Looking around him, emptying boxes, sitting on the ground before finally realizing, he was alone. Perhaps that was what sent him in a spiral.
The shower was short; despite wanting to have a bath, it was half an hour to 9, and he’s got work to catch up on. He lathers on some hair gel to get his thick bushy hair out of his face, so it does not bother him at work. Sprayed some perfume, the same perfume that he’d worn for the past years. A subtle laundry scent that was not too harsh on his nose. Some scents claimed to be ‘subtle’, but he still sneezed when he smelled them.
His eyes caught himself in the fogged-up mirror. The edges of his silhouette blurry but he still saw the tall yet gangly body that was his. It was nothing to praise for really, there are many more men with a body like his and was more appealing than him. Perhaps, that was the real reason for the divorce, he wondered. Hideous red eyes that children used to mock him. Different. He often wondered if the Uchiha finds it distasteful when his father offered him up for the deal. The scars on his cheeks from his lab incident a few years ago during university. Surely that would put off more than a few of his potential partners.
He shook his head. Impossible, his husband had told him the real reason for the divorce, the man was not happy.
Yes, not happy with his partner, not the marriage. Hence, it was him that was the problem, so his husband removed him from the equation. A simple math problem, that even he could see the logic in it. It was wrong, unappealing so he removed it from the equation and would probably insert another unknown that will make the result much more satisfying. Is that not what his husband said?
He shook his head, slight tremble in his hands when he buttons up his shirt. It was white with thin blue stripes. It was one of the few expensive shirts that he had; bought it for himself when he got the job offer. He wore it once on his first day before he opted out for a more comfortable shirt. The shirt was much bigger than he realised, he noted, bigger than when he first wore it.
It was 8.46 by the time he was getting down the stairs and thought that he should skip his breakfast. He had no time for it. Maybe he could get lunch at his lab. But now he was late. With his car keys in his hands, he was out of his house by 8.50 in the morning.
-
Sarutobi Enterprise was one could say one of the few clans companies that was not Senju Corp’s competition. While Senju Corp main focuses on hotels and among similar description, while Sarutobi Enterprise focuses on machinery, equipment and research and design. So, it lessens the anger in his father’s eyes and mouth when he told him in his office five years ago, but his father was still mad, nonetheless, He was not welcomed home for a few weeks.
But he worked at the Research and Design department just as any paid worker and earned his money. A nice change of environment from when he worked at Senju Corporation. The pay was good as expect of a person as his station and the environment was better. His colleagues were understanding of his character to some extent, it was much more than he could have asked.
“Hello, Senju-san!” the concierge clerk of the R&D department chimed. Her voice reminded him of the squirrel, squeaky yet soft just as he had imagined her voice the first time he met her. She was what people would call cute, big brown monolid eyes, and ruffled short black hair. It was a staple of the Sarutobi clan. Momo Sarutobi was still quite young, only started working after finishing her college about 3 years ago and started working part time due to her degree course. That was what he had heard through the vine.
He only gave a brief nod of acknowledgement before going to his lab.
“Oh, Senju-san, I was told to remind you that there’s a company dinner tonight. It’s at a BBQ restaurant down the road. You can ask me the address later if you don’t know.” Her smile was so bright.
He could only nod, he didn’t dare to give any promises. This was not the first time he was asked to join the company dinner for their department. It was mostly his fault for not doing so; he often has a one-track mind, often lost in his projects. His head of department would like that in him he feels. Other than his head of department, he can only name a few of his co-workers. He only remembers Sarutobi Momo due to frequent meets.
After the brief interaction, he headed to his lab and was immediately immersed in the thoughts of his works and current projects.
-
His eyes fluttered, bright lights yet eyesight blurry making the shelves in front of him an uncertain shadow. A slight yet familiar headache that was throbbing at the front of his head, his fingers gently messaging his temple trying to at least mitigate the throbbing pain. His mouth was dry; cottonmouth he noted. He took a look around, white clean walls, papers of his algorithms and design, some of which was circled with red markers. His elbow grazed some of his designs.
Ah, he was at his lab still. He stood straight, back muscles aching and spine cracking. His hands reached for his water bottle, eyes glancing at the clock on the wall; 10 p.m. Oh, the dinner must have finished by now. Perhaps he should head back.
Quickly he picked up his things into his bag when his eyes strayed on the reports that he was handed to by Sarutobi Momo. It was reports from other researchers that he needed to look into. It was not his job, but Tobirama was never the one to pass the opportunity to look at other ideas and progress of research.
He gave another glance at the clock; 10.10 p.m. Perhaps he should head back home and grab a bite on his way back home. He could already feel his stomach grumbling in emptiness, and he slightly remembered that he didn’t have dinner last night or breakfast for that matter. With his things secured, he switched off the lights and headed out.
Outside of his office was pitch-black, save from the dim yellow lights of the hallway. But other lights from the cubicles were off, signalling that it was only him in the office. He began walking towards the elevator but was surprised to bump into Momo at the receptionist cubicle. Her face was flushed, eyes slightly red on the rim and looked as if she was on the edge of drunkenness but with enough touch of sobriety to function. The dinner party must have ended up at the bar then. It was one of the reasons why he seldom rejected or ended up didn’t go to the dinner parties; he doesn’t like any type of alcohol.
Her eyes light up when she recognised him, and her mouth opened. “Ah, Senju-san!” the words came out loud and he cringe his eyes at the volume. He was not used to such high-spirited sound.
He gave a slight nod, as usual, eyeing the girl in front of him as she slightly swayed on her feet.
“Ah, I’m okay. I’m not drunk or anything.” She giggled. “I’m just here for my things. I left my computer cable-ah, found it.” Hands thrusted up high when she managed to find it, grinning widder than he ever seen her. She immediately put it inside her pink backpack. “Okay, let’s go. We can go down together.”
Eyes widen in panic, and his mouth quickly opened to interject. “No.” and even he had to mentally slaps himself due to his tone.
Momo looked taken aback, as he predicted. “Oh, I’m sorry, Senju-san. Are you not going back home?” With her flushed face, she looked as if she was on the brink of crying. It did not help that her mouth trembled.
He huffed; eyes casted down on the white-tiled floor. “I apologise Momo-san. I did not mean to hurt your feelings.” His hands rose up to his neck, rubbing it unconsciously. “What I meant was- well, we can go down together.” And he angled his body, presenting the lift behind him. “Come.” And her grin reappeared, soothing the fiery guilt in his body.
With a ding, the elevator door opened, and they both stepped inside.
“I noticed that you didn’t attend the dinner party, Senju-san.” She noted, her eyes staring straight at the elevator doors, with a passive face. It looked as if she was unhappy or disappointed at the notion, yet her tone was only curiosity.
It was a weird notion to have his attendance being acknowledged- he was used to the fact that his presence was inconsequential or rather simply unimportant to the attendees as he had observed by the few functions his father organised that he went. His lips parted yet only breaths came out. Only then, “I-I forgot.” He finally managed.
Momo laughed. “Oh well. You’re not the only that didn’t come. Don’t worry.” She dismissed it. “Maybe at the next party, you can join us. I’ll make sure to remind you ten minutes before.” It was a joke, he knows yet he couldn’t help but feel there was a slight truth behind it.
The elevator dings again, signaling that it reached the ground floor. “Senju-san, have you eaten?” He was already few steps ahead of her, almost at the entrance even, yet her soft voice carried through the dimly lit hallway, penetrating through his head, ringing loudly through in his ears.
Such simple question yet it made him halted abruptly in his steps. His heart stuttered.
His head buzzed, so many questions and thoughts in his head, screaming and talking at the same time.
What should he reply?
What should he say?
Yes? No?
What will she say if he said-
What will-
What-
“It’s okay Senju-san.” Her voice sounds even louder. She was already at the entrance, holding one of the doors opened. He noticed a sleek, black sedan parked just a few feet away from the entrance. “Be safe on your way home.”
And when he reached his home, the same question was ringing in his head. Ringing as he stared into the bathroom mirror. Ringing as he stared at the wall, wearing his pants. And still ringing when he stared at the ceiling, before he drifted to sleep.