Rejection

“Paging Dr. Haruno to OR 4”

The loud intercom says my name once again. I make my way to my 3rd surgery today. Working non stop is tiring but takes my mind off of Sasuke. A few hours later after a couple more surgeries Im finally able to go home. The black circles around my eyes make me look 5 years older. I always said I would never use my chakra to look younger like lady tsunade. But at this rate I’m more understanding of her decisions. I make my way to the front of the hospital to walk home. That’s when I see the one person I’m avoiding. He’s standing outside awkwardly waiting for someone. Hopefully but at the same exact time not hopefully me. I walk right past him giving him a cold shoulder with my head held high. He just follows in step with me in silence.

“Sakura I wanted to walk you home” he says next to me.

I just nod letting him walk with me. I could never reject his kindness, I want it so much. I look up at the cherry blossoms in bloom. With the moonlight lighting the sky behind it. I can feel him staring at me.

“While I was away, I would always think of you when I saw Cherry blossoms” he says. I look at him in shock. I have always been curious about his time away but never brave enough to ask.

“Night like this remind me of that night. The cherry blossoms were in bloom that night too. When you left me on that bench I woke up surrounded by them. They had fallen from the tree.” I say surprising him. That night was my first failure. Not being enough to make him stay.

“Sakura I really appreciated what you had said that night. I was just so consumed by my hatred that I pushed you away.” He says. We keep walking.

“Hatred for your brother?” I say letting my curiosity get the best of me. I immediately regret my question thinking that Sasuke will run now.

“Yeah my brother. I really hated him back then.” He smiles softly. His reaction surprises me, I wondered what had changed his hatred into fondness.

“It was the only thing you cared about back then” I say honestly.

“That’s not true. I cared about you and Naruto…… Even when I didn’t want to.” He says softly. I try to ask what that means when I find myself staring at my front door.

“Good night Sakura, sweet dreams” Sasuke turns to walk away leaving no room for more questions.

I walk into my apartment thinking about his words.

“Even when I didn’t want to”

I always thought that it would be corny to say I like cherry blossoms out loud. So I always admired them silently. I guess Sasuke was also admiring them silently. I fall into my bed and fall asleep smiling at these thoughts.

…

The next day I wake up to a text from Naruto

-‘can I bring Hinata to the dinner tonight?’

Damn I forgot about this dinner. We have a team 7 dinner every year. Although this is the first time Sasuke will attend which makes it special and non negotiable. Since Sasuke and I talked last night, I don’t think it will be awkward. It felt like a step forward with Sasuke trying to open up last night, but I want to know more. I text back a yes to Naruto. I think he’s ramping up to propose to Hinata. Which is why he’s introducing her to everyone more officially.

I nicely dress up just to put my coat over it and head to the hospital.

….

After a full tiring shift I take off my coat revealing my nice dress.

“Wow Sakura, are you all dressed up just see little ol’ me?” I hear a voice I vaguely recognize. I turn to see a purple tattood face.

“Kankuro!? Oh my gosh how are you?” I say loudly and surprised. I immediately go to hug him. I haven’t seen him in years.

“Well I was in the village and couldn’t just not come to see the women who saved my life” he says while hugging me.

“I’m so happy you came to see me” I say smiling.

“I’ll actually be here for a while, Gaara ordered me to stay and work on a case with y’all” he says rolling his eyes when he talks about Gaara. I tell him I’m heading to a dinner and that I hope to see him soon. He walks with me out of the hospital. Just like last night Sasuke is waiting outside for me. He looks surprised to see Kankuro. I re-introduce them.

“Hey Sasuke, I thought you were on a mission?” Kankuro says reaching out his hand to shake his.

Sasuke hesitantly takes his hand and shakes it.

“Hello, I haven’t seen you in a while.” He says in a monotone voice. Kankuro quickly wraps it up and gives me a quick hug before leaving.

“So is this a thing now?” I say flirty.

“Is that a thing now” he says nodding his head to Kankuro walking away in the distance.

I roll my eyes at his blantant deflection of my question. I hate that he never answers my questions. I walk to the restaurant with Sasuke in tow. We don’t speak the entire journey. When we walk into the barbecue place I see Naruto wave to us. He’s sitting close to Hinata who looks embarrassed to be invited to a team 7 dinner. Kakashi is sitting across from them reading a book. I sit next to Hinata and Sasuke sits next to Kakashi across from me.

“Sakura how are you? Hard day at work?” Kakashi asks.

“Not too hard” I say smiling.

“How about you Sasuke?” Naruto asks.

“I had a good day” Sasuke says simply.

“Where’s Sai?” I ask.

“Oh he is not coming” Hinata says to me winking. Ugh Sai and Ino are disgustingly cute.

We talk about how it’s amazing that Sasuke is finally back. And many other things to do with our history. Sasuke doesn’t really add a whole lot to the conversation.

“Sasuke must have two dinners a year because he ran with another team too.” Naruto is little tipsy and is now talking very loudly.

I had almost forgotten about this other team.

“I remember them. You guys made a cool team huh. Lots of different powers.” Kakashi says apparently knowing these people.

“Oh yeah Karin is supposedly a close descendant” Naruto says kinda drunk which makes this confusing.

“How so?” I ask trying to not sound desperate and annoying.

“They are survivors of the Uzumaki Clan” Kakashi explains.

“Oh wow so she had huge amounts of Chakra” I ask amazed. I’ve always been Jealous of Naruto’s amount chakra. If I had those reserves of chakra I could collect so much more. “What was her Justu specialty?” I ask even more curious.

“Well ‘she’ didn’t really use Justu.” Kakashi says smiling. He was holding off on telling me something.

“So what did she contribute?” I say asking Sasuke this time since Kakashi won’t fully answer.

“She could give us chakra if we…” he pauses awkwardly “bit her. He finishes.

“Huh” Hinata and I say at the same time.

Sasuke sighs tiredly.

“We would bite her to borrow her chakra between or during fights.” He says flatly.

I just nod to show I understand. But I don’t dare say anything. I’m so embarrassed and upset with myself. To think I thought that all this time I was the only girl he cared for. The only girl that could get close to him due to our team assignments. Yet he set out to find this other girl ‘Karin’ to ask her to join his team. I fill up my cup full of liquor and down it thinking about Karin. I remember when I saved that girl from death. I saw these marks but I never would’ve thought they would be from sasukes mouth. That memory goes hand in hand with the next one of Sasuke trying to kill me. She had warned me back then before I even heard the crackles of his Chidori. Hinata looks to me with pity knowing my confusing feeling that are at war with each other. I’m upset because I’m thinking about his mouth on another girl but also upset at the same time that he tried to kill me . Twice.

We finish the dinner 6 shots later.

I say my goodbyes and stumble my way out the door. When I open the door I trip just outside. I feel an arm wrap around my waist holding me up. I continue walking trying to wiggle out of Sasuke grasp.

“Sakura let me help you” Sasuke says.

“No don’t touch me” I say annoyed and drunk.

He lets me go to stumble my own way, but follows closely beside me.

“Are you angry with me?” He asks masking any emotion in his voice.

“No I’m not” I say stubbornly but clearly upset. I feel like an annoying little kid but I can’t help it.

Sasuke stops me and stands I front me with his hands on my shoulders. He looks into my eyes and asks again. I can’t help in my drunken state but tear up and cry. He looks scared when I burst into tears.

He scoops me up and carries me bridal style. He jumps up to the roof tops running me home fast. I’m still balling my eyes out when he gets to my door. Instead of going through the door, he just finds the window to my room and sneaks his way through it. He softly lays me on the bed and as I sniffle. He gently tucks me in which makes me even more confused about my feelings. Once I’m comfortably in bed he brings his hands to my face trying to dry my tears.

“I hate seeing you cry. And knowing that I’m the reason for it.” He says

I don’t respond because I don’t know what to say.

“Sakura I don’t know why you’re crying, but I know it’s because of me and I can’t stand it” he explains pained.

“Will you kiss me?” I say surprising even myself. I just want his lips on me. Just me. No Karin or anybody else.

Sasuke thinks for a second and then kisses me lightly on the forehead. I close my eyes on contact and when I open them he’s gone. Only the curtians flowing in the wind.

When I think back to that day. The most heart wrenching things that was done was when I claimed to want to “save Sasuke”. I had stupidly told him that I wanted to save him in such a heroic way but when he questioned me “save me from what” I was silent. I had no answer to that question. Naruto was the one that finished it. Revenge he said. I don’t know why I never knew that. I wish I had been more aware or at least more in touch. I never really knew Sasuke. How was I in love with him.