Kakashi is bored, the world gets saved

By the time the rumors reached the Land of Wind, they had become unstoppable.
Sukea was no longer just a rogue shinobi. He was a phantom, a ghost that haunted Kakashi Hatake’s past.
Some said he had once been Kakashi’s partner—not just in battle, but in life. That their bond had been something deeper than friendship, something intimate. That their final confrontation had ended in betrayal, with Kakashi barely escaping with his life.
Others claimed Kakashi had once saved Sukea’s life, only to be betrayed in turn. That the famed Copy Ninja had been forced to cut ties with his closest ally, leaving a wound that had never quite healed.
The most dramatic versions of the story insisted that they had been secret lovers, torn apart by war and fate, forever doomed to be enemies.
And because the shinobi world thrived on drama, this version of the story spread the fastest.
By the time the rumors made their way through the border towns and into the major villages, Sukea had been transformed from a relatively unknown journalist into a legendary figure. There were whispers that he was a missing-nin of unparalleled skill, a man who had chosen the shadows over Konoha, leaving behind nothing but a brokenhearted Kakashi Hatake in his wake.
The stories took on a life of their own.
Tavern-goers debated their tragic romance in hushed tones over cups of sake. Gambling dens placed bets on when they would cross paths again. Even in places where shinobi were scarce, the tale of Kakashi and Sukea—the battle-forged lovers turned mortal enemies—spread like wildfire.
It got to the point where foreign shinobi—ones Kakashi had never even met—would give him sympathetic looks when they saw him.
"You’ll get him next time, man," one Suna jōnin had told him, clapping him on the back after a routine mission debrief.
Kakashi had no idea how to respond.

The problem with being famous—or, in this case, infamous—was that it attracted all the wrong people.
And unfortunately for Kakashi, the Akatsuki noticed.

"Oi, you heard about this Sukea guy?"
Hidan muttered the words as he flipped lazily through a stolen Bingo Book, his sharp eyes scanning for names that piqued his interest.
Kisame chuckled from across the room. "Yeah, yeah. Supposedly Kakashi Hatake's ex-boyfriend turned mortal enemy or something." He leaned back, amusement dancing in his shark-like grin. "The drama’s unreal."
Deidara, sitting nearby, snorted. "Tch. Like we need another brooding, tragic love-hate rivalry in the mix. We already have enough of that going on."
“I think it’s fascinating,” Konan mused, her calm voice cutting through the conversation. She was watching as Pein studied the information, his expression unreadable. “If he’s as skilled as they say, he might be a valuable asset.”
Pein finally spoke, his voice as steady as ever. “Find him. Bring him in.”
And just like that, Kakashi’s prank became internationally dangerous.
The Akatsuki had officially put Sukea on their radar.

Tracking down a rogue shinobi was no easy task, even for an organization like the Akatsuki.
But Sukea, elusive as he was, had left just enough of a trail to follow. Sightings in various towns, snippets of conversation caught by informants, and an unmistakable pattern in his movements all pointed them in the right direction.
Zetsu scoured the land with his underground networks, gathering intel from the roots of the earth. Kisame and Itachi traveled through the northern regions, keeping their eyes and ears open for even the smallest whisper of Sukea’s whereabouts. Deidara and Sasori lurked near trade routes, listening to the rumors of traveling merchants.
And then, finally, they found him.
A nameless, dimly lit town on the outskirts of the Land of Fire.
A lone figure, hooded and discreet, sitting at the bar of a rundown tavern.
Sukea—the rogue shinobi. The ghost of Kakashi Hatake’s past. The bitter ex-lover who had become his deadliest enemy.
The man they needed to recruit.

Kakashi should have seen this coming.
He really, really should have.
The moment he started using Sukea to infiltrate places, he should have realized that rumors would spiral. But he had never expected things to escalate this much.
He had just barely gotten his drink when a voice interrupted him.
“You know,” a smooth, smug voice drawled, “I was expecting someone taller.”
Kakashi glanced up lazily, eyes scanning the two figures that had approached him.
Kisame Hoshigaki. Deidara.
Both S-rank missing-nin. Both members of the Akatsuki.
Oh.
This was bad.
Kisame grinned, all sharp teeth and amusement. “You’ve been real hard to find, you know.”
Kakashi—Sukea—tilted his head, keeping his expression carefully neutral. “Can’t imagine why.”
Deidara rolled his eyes. “Tch. You’ve got half the shinobi world losing their minds over your little feud with the Copy Ninja. I don’t even know how much of it is true, but it’s hilarious.”
Kakashi internally cringed. Right. That.
Kisame leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bar. “So, tell me,” he said, voice dripping with amusement, “were you and Kakashi actually together, or was that just some bored merchant spinning a wild tale?”
Kakashi kept his face completely blank. “Does it matter?”
Kisame shrugged. “Not really. Just curious.”
Deidara waved a hand dismissively. “Enough with the gossip. The real question is—what’s your deal? You really as good as they say?”
Kakashi pretended to think for a moment. “Depends,” he said casually. “Who’s asking?”
Kisame grinned. “Pein.”
Oh.
Oh this was really bad.