Get Kakashi into Therapy. Status? Miserable Failure.
Phase one: The initial confrontation
The moment Sukea’s voice rang through the streets of Konoha, spitting something sharp and deeply personal, Gai knew they had a problem.
Kakashi had been playing up his ridiculous rivalry with Sukea for months now—bickering, fighting, even going so far as to wreck an entire restaurant in their last encounter.
But this?
This was different.
Gai could tell that there was no real animosity from Kakashi towards Sukea before, it's why he hadn’t intervened or offered any assistance. Because he believed his rival to be safe.
Evidently, he was wrong.
Sukea’s words had cut too deep.
Gai saw the way Kakashi had frozen for just a fraction of a second. The way his stance had shifted—not in anger, but in something closer to pain, to guilt.
And then, as quickly as it had come, it was gone. Kakashi had thrown himself back into the fight, mask firmly in place, trading blows with Sukea as if nothing had happened.
But the damage was done.
Which was how, less than an hour later, Gai, Genma, Asuma, and Kurenai found themselves cornering Kakashi in an empty training ground.
Kakashi stood in the middle of the field, looking entirely unbothered. A few scuffs and scratches lingered from the fight, and his hair was even messier than usual, but his posture was loose, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
Like he was bored.
Gai knew better.
He stepped forward, arms crossed. "Kakashi, my eternal rival, this intervention is—"
"It's not an intervention," Kurenai interrupted, exasperated.
"It's an intervention," Genma said at the same time.
Kakashi's visible eye blinked slowly, his version of a deadpan stare. "Hate to break it to you, but I don’t need an intervention."
“You do when you let someone get under your skin that badly,” Asuma pointed out, taking a slow drag from his cigarette.
“I fought Sukea,” Kakashi replied blandly.
“You fought him,” Kurenai repeated, unimpressed. “You also nearly destroyed half the market district, and in the middle of that, he brought up your dad.”
Kakashi’s shoulders tensed for half a second before he shrugged. “People say a lot of things in fights.”
Genma narrowed his eyes. “That wasn’t just anything. He went straight for the worst thing he could have said, and we all saw your reaction.”
Kakashi shifted, weight balancing easily from one foot to the other. “Maybe you imagined it.”
Gai let out a frustrated sigh. “Kakashi! You cannot fool me! We have battled too many times! I know when something strikes your heart!”
Kakashi tilted his head, his voice deliberately neutral. “And I know that you once cried for two hours when your turtle went missing.”
Gai gasped, deeply wounded. “THAT IS IRRELEVANT.”
Kurenai pinched the bridge of her nose. “Kakashi.”
Kakashi turned his head slightly, gaze unreadable. “Kurenai.”
She refused to let him deflect. “You need to talk to someone about this. What Sukea said clearly hurt you.”
Kakashi tilted his head. “Did it?”
Genma threw his hands in the air. “YES! OBVIOUSLY!”
Asuma flicked the ash from his cigarette. “You can’t keep dodging this forever.”
“I think I can,” Kakashi replied easily.
“No, you can’t!” Kurenai snapped. “You can’t just keep repressing everything until it kills you!”
Kakashi considered her words for a moment. Then, with all the smugness in the world, said, “I’ve been doing it for years, and I’m still here.”
The entire group groaned in frustration.
Gai took a step forward, eyes blazing with determination. “MY ETERNAL RIVAL.” He grabbed Kakashi’s shoulders, shaking him slightly. “THERAPY.”
Kakashi vanished via Body Flicker.
A long silence followed.
“…We should’ve seen that coming,” Genma muttered.
Asuma sighed. “I hate that he’s actually good at avoiding this.”
Kurenai crossed her arms. “We’re not giving up.”
Gai clenched his fist dramatically. “If we must drag him to self-awareness, then so be it!”
And with that, their mission continued.
Phase Two: The Trap
Gai insisted that dragging Kakashi to therapy required a strategic approach.
“Like a battle plan!” he declared, slamming a detailed blueprint onto the table.
Genma, Asuma, and Kurenai leaned over it.
Genma raised an eyebrow. “Did you color-code this?”
“Yes.”
Kurenai looked unimpressed. “Why is there a section labeled ‘Emotional Ambush’?”
Gai folded his arms. “Kakashi is a master of evasion! We must strike when he least expects it!”
Asuma smirked. “Alright, I’m listening.”
Gai’s plan was simple. Step one: lure Kakashi to an inescapable location. Step two: ambush him with overwhelming concern. Step three: force him into therapy.
Kurenai sighed. “Fine. But if this doesn’t work, we’re going with my plan next.”
“What’s your plan?” Genma asked.
She smirked. “Drunken intervention.”
Asuma let out a low whistle. “Dangerous. I like it.”
Phase Three: The Attempted Intervention
The next day, everything was in place.
Kakashi thought he was heading to a casual meeting with Gai—because Gai was just so persistent about training, and really, it was easier to go along with it than deal with his endless challenges.
What he didn’t expect was the instant the doors shut behind him, Kurenai appeared in front of him, arms crossed.
“Sit,” she ordered.
Kakashi turned, but Asuma and Genma blocked the exit. Gai was at his side, beaming.
“Kakashi!” Gai announced. “WELCOME TO YOUR THERAPY AMBUSH!”
Kakashi sighed. “This is getting ridiculous.”
Genma smirked. “You didn’t say it wasn’t necessary.”
Kakashi gave them an unimpressed look. “That’s because it isn’t.”
Asuma leaned against the doorframe, taking a slow drag of his cigarette. “Then prove it. Talk about what happened.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Sukea brought up your father,” Kurenai snapped. “In the worst way possible. And you froze.”
Kakashi exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Fine. It stung. Happy?”
Genma folded his arms. “Why?”
Kakashi didn’t answer.
Gai put a hand on his shoulder, unusually gentle. “Kakashi, it is not weakness to acknowledge pain.”
Kakashi glanced at him, something almost unreadable flickering across his expression.
Then he vanished. Again.
Phase Four: Absolute Desperation
They found him two hours later, sitting on the Hokage Monument, reading Icha Icha Paradise as if nothing had happened.
Genma let out an exhausted groan. “I hate him.”
Kurenai crossed her arms. “We’re going with my plan next.”
Asuma exhaled. “Drunken intervention it is.”
Gai wiped away a single tear. “Kakashi, my friend, you will face your emotions. Even if we must force-feed you self-awareness!”
From his perch, Kakashi turned a page, completely ignoring them.
The mission continued.