Mercury’s Manifestation

The rest of your tour of the Akatsuki mansion is surprisingly relaxing. They seemed to have a particular taste of  architectural and aesthetic preference; gothic, dark color with primitive candles as their source of light.

You're guided through the kitchen, dining hall, and toilets before being led to Zetsu's favorite spot—the garden just outside the mansion. Various of flowers blooms in a manner of organized chaos, their vibrant colors standing out starkly against the otherwise dark and brooding aesthetic of the Akatsuki's hideout. The scent of fresh earth and floral sweetness lingers in the air, a contrast to the scent of blood and steel you've grown accustomed to inside.

Zetsu kneels beside a patch of deep purple flowers, running his fingers through the petals with surprising gentleness. "This is where I come to relax," he muses, his tone unusually soft. "Plants don't judge. They don't lie. They just grow."

You tilt your head. "Sounds nice. You're really into gardening, huh?"

Black Zetsu scoffs. "Unlike humans, plants are actually worth the effort."

You crouch down, studying the arrangement. Some of the plants you recognize—roses, lilies, even a few herbs—but others seem more exotic, possibly not even native to this world. You pluck a small, white flower from the patch closest to you and twirl it between your fingers.

"You ever eat them?" you ask curiously.

Zetsu blinks. "What."

"I mean, you eat humans, right? But what about plants? Do you snack on these guys too?"

White Zetsu laughs. "What an interesting question! Sometimes, but only the ones that won't be missed."

Black Zetsu sighs. "Don't indulge her."

You tuck the flower behind your ear and flash a grin. "Well, if you ever need a taste tester, let me know."

Zetsu shakes his head, though you swear you see a tiny smirk on White Zetsu's face. "Good choices"

"Oh? Does it suit me? Pretty like me?" You shove your face and bat your eyes at him in a dramatic fashion. An obvious attempt of fishing for compliments.

"That's the white Lantana, symbolizing rigor and severity," Zetsu explains, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.

You blink. "...That's not really the compliment I was hoping for."

White Zetsu chuckles. "Well, it does suit you in a way. You are pretty resilient."

Black Zetsu, however, is less entertained. "Lantanas are also invasive weeds."

You gasp, clutching your chest in mock offense. "Are you calling me a weed?!"

"I'm saying you don't belong here, yet you're thriving anyway."

You pause, lips pursing as you think over his words. It's not exactly an insult, but it's not quite a compliment either. You decide to take it as a win.

"Well, thanks! I'll be the prettiest invasive species you've ever seen." You strike a dramatic pose, flipping your cloak over your shoulder.

Zetsu watches you for a moment before shaking his head again. "You are... something."

White Zetsu grins. "I like her."

Black Zetsu merely sighs. "Anyway, let's keep going,"

The tour continues, and you're surprised to find that the Akatsuki have a pool—one they consider a "training ground." You're not sure what they could be training for but humans are strange like that.

Then there's the actual "training ground," which is just a primitive way of saying "gym." Babylonians exercise too, whether for health or aesthetics, but their facilities are far more advanced.

Still, their version of 'gym' room is unbelievably mundane and concerning. Wheres the treadmill? The leg press machines? Stairmaster? At least they seemed to have dumbbells and benches.

"This gym is... lacking. Where are the proper machines? The technology? The innovation?"

Zetsu gives you a blank stare. "Innovation? We train to kill people, not for aesthetics."

You gasp. "You mean you don't do this for the pump?! The burn?! The gains?!"

White Zetsu laughs. "You sound like Deidara when he talks about his art."

Black Zetsu, however, is less amused. "If you want a treadmill, which i assume to be some kind of device for running, go outside. If you want to lift, pick up a corpse."

You blink. "Okay, that was unnecessarily morbid."

He shrugs. "We are an organization of rogue ninjas, not a luxury fitness club."

You sigh dramatically, placing a hand on your forehead. "This is tragic. I must introduce you all to the wonders of modern gym equipment one day."

Zetsu shakes his head. "Somehow, I doubt anyone here would care."

Zetsu then takes you to the last part of the tour. It's the dorm or whatever the fuck they're called. The floor where the members of the Akatsuki resides in. You think you shouldn't have came here when you see Deidara idling infront of his room. Arms crossed, leaning against the wall in some cliche high school boy would.

Deidara notices you immediately, his sharp blue eyes lighting up with amusement. "Oh? Look who it is, yeah." He uncrosses his arms and pushes off the wall, approaching you with an almost cocky saunter.

Zetsu sighs, clearly unimpressed. "Don't start, Deidara."

The blond ignores him, his attention fixed on you. "So, enjoying the grand tour? I bet you've never seen a place as cool as this, hmm?"

You tilt your head, pretending to think. "Hmm... well, it's definitely something. But Babylonia's architecture is far more advanced."

Deidara blinks. "Babylonia?"

Zetsu groans. "You really just say things without thinking, don't you?"

"What? It's the truth."

Deidara narrows his eyes, intrigued. "Never heard of it, yeah. Sounds like some ancient shit."

"To you, maybe. But back home, we have technology that would make the most destructive weapons to ever exist."

Deidara raise an eyebrow at that statement "Is that why your village was wiped out, hm?"

Zetsu cuts you off, not letting you spill more than you should "Yeah, they self destructed which is why she's the only survivor"

"Oh yeah, i guess." you nod hesitantly.

The door next to Deidara's swings open, revealing Sasori. His messy red hair sticks out in every direction. You think he's really cute—small in stature, with a doll-like appearance that only adds to the effect.

Sasori blinks at the scene in front of him, then sighs. "Why are you all loitering in front of my room?" His voice is as flat as ever, but you can tell he's mildly annoyed.

"Oh, don't be so grumpy, Sasori no Danna," Deidara teases, throwing an arm around his partner's shoulders. "We were just talking about our lovely new recruit's tragic backstory, yeah."

Sasori's sharp brown eyes shift to you, scanning you with an unreadable expression. "This tragic backstory again?"

You cross your arms, deciding to play along. "Yes. As you may already know, I am the last of my people. A lone survivor with nothing but pain and suffering in my wake." You dramatically pose, sighing as if you were in some Shakespearean play.

Zetsu groans. "She's exaggerating."

Sasori doesn't look impressed. "Hmph. This dumbass story again. I suppose you'll start preaching about your 'true art' next?"

You grin. "Oh, I do have my own philosophy on art. But the art that i enjoy transcend mortal comprehension, so abstract and enigmatic, and esoteric, so complex, so absurd that your mortal minds could never grasp their true essence. They are beyond the mundane, beyond the physical—a revelation so profound that mere exposure would break the chains of mortality itself. If you witness the depths of my artistry, you would not simply understand it—you would ascend beyond the limits of existence, into the realm of the eternal."

Sasori gapes at you in mild annoyance and confusion before rubbing his temple. "This organization is becoming more unbearable by the day." Then, without another word, he turns on his heel and disappears back into his room.

You smirk. "I think he likes me."

Deidara finally catches his breath from laughing and suddenly remembers something. "Oi, Danna, you said you were going to give me your woods—"

Sasori, who was just about to slam the door in your face, freezes.

You immediately burst out laughing. "Pause that."

Deidara blinks, confused. "Pause what, hm?"

Zetsu sighs heavily at this.

Sasori turns his head slowly, his expression a mix of exhaustion and irritation. "Never say that again."

Deidara frowns, still not getting it. "What? You did say you'd give me some of your wood for my sculptures, yeah."

Tobi dramatically insert himself to the group discussion "Senpai, you really gotta rephrase that next time."

Sasori sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before muttering, "I swear to god, I hate it here." Then, without another word, he disappears into his room and slams the door shut for real this time.

Deidara watches him go, then turns to you. "Seriously, what's his problem?"

Zetsu pats his shoulder. "One day, you'll understand."

"Tobi! where did you come from?" You ask, averting your attention to the masked man.

"Anywhere!"

"Great. Well, this was the last part of the tour. My job's done now," Zetsu hums to nobody in particular.

"Wait— Im hungry! we should get something to eat!" You clutch his sleeves as if trying to stop him from disappearing out of your vicinity.

"I don't think that's the person you should ask, un" Deidara narrow his eyes at the plant creature in what seems to be scepticism.

"Why not?" You blink innocently at Deidara.

Zetsu, completely unbothered, tilts his head. "Yeah, why not?"

Deidara scoffs. "You're literally half flytrap, and I know you eat things that aren't supposed to be eaten, hm."

White Zetsu shrugs. "I have a refined palate."

"I can relate." You nod.

Tobi jumps excitedly between you and Deidara. "Oh! Oh! Tobi knows a place! Let's go get food together!"

You clasp your hands together, giving Tobi a hopeful look. "Is it edible?"

"How dare you doubt me! Of course, it's edible!"

Zetsu smirks. "Debatable."

"Okay, well, before I put my trust in an enigma like you—" You point at Tobi, "—can I at least get a second opinion?" You turn to Deidara, expecting him to confirm whether or not you should listen to the hyperactive masked man.

Deidara crosses his arms and sighs. "Honestly, yeah, Tobi probably knows the best food spots. But I ain't eating with him, un."

Tobi gasps again, clutching his chest like Deidara just personally re offended him. "Deidara-senpai! That's so mean!"

You grab Deidara's arm, dramatically leaning on him. "Please, my life is in your hands. If I die of food poisoning, I'm haunting you."

Deidara groans. "Fine, un! But I swear, if he acts like a dumbass, I'm leaving."

Tobi cheers. "Yay! Food adventure!"

Zetsu, already turning to leave, waves lazily over his shoulder. "Have fun with that. Try not to die."

Before you go, Zetsu reminded you one more time about the importance of your secrets. Watch your mouth, he whispers.

Everyone agreed to meet at the entrance, gathering their essential belongings—wallets, weapons, clay—whatever the two Akatsuki deemed necessary. As for you, the only possession you had to your name was your bindle.

With a swift motion, you shrug off your cloak, tying your belongings securely to your trusty Plasma Void M99. Your shoulders are now bare—how scandalous. Unbothered, you grab your summer straw hat, settle it atop your head, and set off with purpose.

When you meet the two Akatsuki members at the entrance they made a show out of witnessing your appearance.

Deidara is dressed in his usual shinobi attire—not that you have the time to critique it. His pants look nearly identical to the ones Tobi wears, making you wonder if they’re some kind of mercenary fashion trend. He also sports a chained inner shirt, layered beneath a somewhat cropped top.

Tobi, on the other hand, sticks to his usual compression shirt, though he’s added a green muffler scarf around his neck—an interesting choice of accessory.

Deidara gawks at you like you just committed the most heinous crime imaginable. His mouth slightly parts, and he takes a moment before pointing at you.

"The fuck are you wearing, un?"

Tobi, on the other hand, dramatically gasps. "Oh my god! It's giving mysterious wanderer chic!" He claps his hands together, practically vibrating with excitement. "Like a cool drifter who just rolled into town!"

Deidara, still staring, furrows his brows. "No, it's giving homeless, un."

You dramatically place a hand on your chest, gasping in mock offense. "Excuse you! This is fashion where I'm from."

"Where the hell are you from? A farm?"

"A barn, actually."

Tobi jumps up and down. "I like it! It's cute!"

You flip your hair smugly. "See? Tobi gets it."

Deidara groans, rubbing his temples. "Whatever, un. Let's just go already before you embarrass me more."

As the three of you step out, Deidara huffs and looks away, clearly irritated—or so he wants you to think.

Despite his grumbling, his gaze keeps flickering back to you, particularly at your legs, which are now fully exposed thanks to your lack of a cloak. He catches himself staring and quickly averts his eyes, scowling as if annoyed by his own actions.

Tobi, of course, notices. "Deidara-senpai, you keep looking~!" he sing-songs, nudging the blond with his elbow.

"Shut up, Tobi," Deidara snaps, his face turning slightly pink. "I'm just—it's just weird, un! She's walking around looking like a damn countryside wanderer or some shit."

"You mean a hot countryside wanderer?"

Deidara stiffens. "No?! That's not what I said, un!"

Tobi giggles behind his mask, while you merely smirk, catching Deidara's flustered expression before he shoves his hands in his pockets and storms ahead, muttering something about how this is gonna be a long trip.

You hum to yourself, tilting your hat down slightly. Interesting.

"Anyway, what's up with that thing you're carrying. Looks futuristic, un." Deidara says after awhile, glamcing over his shoulder to point at the Plasma bindle on your shoulders.

You glance at the Plasma Void M99 strapped securely across your shoulders. The sleek, metallic frame gleams slightly under the daylight, its intricate engravings and high-tech components making it stand out against the otherwise primitive world around you.

"This?" You tilt your head. "It's just my bindle."

Deidara gives you an incredulous look. "That's not a bindle, un. That thing looks like some kind of weapon."

"Exactly. It carries my belongings and has the firepower to wipe out civilizations,"

Tobi gasps dramatically, clasping his hands together. "Waaah~ (Y/N)-chan is scary! What else does it do?"

You tap the barrel thoughtfully. "Well, let's see. Plasma rounds, high-density void compression, anti-matter energy core—oh, and it doubles as a great pillow."

Deidara's eye twitches. "You mean to tell me you sleep on that thing, un?"

"Of course. A multipurpose weapon is a good weapon." You pat it affectionately.

The blond groans, rubbing his temples. "First the Byakugan, now a futuristic weapon—what the hell are you?"

You merely shrug. "A countryside wanderer, apparently."

Tobi laughs, while Deidara just stares at you like you're the most confusing yet intriguing thing he's ever encountered.

"Why are you even," Deidara pauses before scrutinising you like you're a recently discovered creature "Carrying that thing you call bindle anyway?"

You shift your weight slightly, adjusting the strap of your so-called bindle with a casual shrug. "Because it's mine?" you answer like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Deidara deadpans. "No shit, un. I mean, why the hell are you carrying it everywhere?"

Tobi chimes in, waving his arms dramatically. "Maybe (Y/N)-chan is secretly a bounty hunter! Or someone from the future! Ooooo~!"

Deidara ignores him, still watching you with a scrutinizing gaze.

You sigh, shifting the Plasma Void M99 off your shoulder for a moment. "I carry it because I don't trust leaving it anywhere else." You glance around. "No offense, but I doubt any of you have the security clearance to handle this beauty."

Deidara snorts. "Security clearance? What, does it self-destruct if someone else touches it, un?"

You blink at him. Then smile.

"Yes."

There's a pause.

Deidara stares at you, waiting for the punchline. When it doesn't come, he takes a cautious step back. "Tch. Whatever, un. Not my problem if you blow yourself up."

Tobi, however, gasps with newfound excitement. "COOL! Can I try touching it?"

"No."

"Awwww."

"Wait, Deidara! I thought your whole brand is about blowing things up?" Tobi quips with his finger on his mask, in way to showcase his 'thinking pose'.

You raise your eyebrows, curious what this whole ordeal is about.

Deidara clicks his tongue, "It is—but I like my explosions artistic, un. Not some dumb, accidental self-destruct crap."

You tilt your head. "So, what, you just don't like things that blow up without your permission?"

"Exactly! A true artist controls the detonation, un. Not the other way around."

"Ohhh, so (Y/N)-chan's scary boom-stick goes boom on its own, and that's why Deidara doesn't like it!"

Deidara groans. "Stop calling it that, un."

You smirk, patting your Plasma Void M99 affectionately. "Well, lucky for you, my scary boom-stick isn't something just anyone can set off. I have full control over it. I just don’t want randoms to push any random buttons on it."

Deidara narrows his eyes at you, skeptical. "That so? Then prove it."

You blink. "Huh?"

He jerks his chin toward your weapon. "If you're so confident, then show me what that thing can do, un."

You avert your eyes to the side, finding the trees and fallen leaves interesting to look at "I'd rather not,"

Deidara scoffs, a smirk playing on his lips. "Hah! Knew it. You're bluffing, un."

Tobi gasps dramatically, hands on his mask. "(Y/N)-chan, do you actually know how to use that thing?"

"Of course I do! I just—don't feel like showing off right now."

Deidara raises an eyebrow, leaning in slightly. "Ohhh, I get it. You're scared, un."

You snap your head back to him, indignant. "Scared? Of what?"

The blonde grins, clearly enjoying this. "That if you use it, we'll see that your 'boom-stick' is all talk and no bang."

Your eye twitches. This smug little artist is really testing you.

"Believe me Deidara, if you get hit in it's range, you're getting disintegrated into small particles. I can't even roll you on a piece of paper to smoke your ashes" you say with a serious expression on your face.

Deidara falters for half a second, his smirk twitching. Tobi, like the little shit that he is, gasps, instigating this whole situation. "Deidara, she said you wouldn't even be art after that!"

The blond clicks his tongue "Tch, as if something like that could ever take me down, un. You're bluffing."

"You sure about that?" You tilt your head, eyes glinting.

For the first time, Deidara actually looks like he's considering his words carefully. He eyes your so-called boom-stick with a newfound wariness. Then he remembers what Zetsu said about your village getting wiped out from one of those futuristic weapons they invented. Hmm, suspicious. He’ll let this go for now. "Hmph. Whatever, un. Not like I'd let myself get hit anyway."

Tobi snickers. "Sounds like someone's a little scared~"

"Shut up, Tobi!"

"It's okay Deidara, if I ever get the chance to use them, I'll make sure you're there to witness the beauty of my bindle," you say, letting your hand hover over his head before ruffling his hair in a playful tease.

Deidara jerks his head back, eyes widening slightly at the unexpected gesture. "H-Hey! What the hell, un?!" He bats your hand away, quickly fixing his now-messy hairdo with a scowl.

Tobi bursts into laughter. "Hahahaha! (Y/N)-chan is treating you like a little kid, Deidara!"

"You shut up too, Tobi!" Deidara snaps, his cheeks dusted with the faintest hint of pink. He glares at you, but there's no real heat behind it—just mild indignation and something else you can't quite place. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood, or else I'd—" He cuts himself off, clicking his tongue in frustration.

You smirk, rocking back on your heels. "Or else you'd what? Blow me?"

Deidara huffs, crossing his arms. "Maybe I should—just for payback, un."

"You sure is really bold, Deidara!" Tobi covers his mask around the mouth area like Deidara just said something scandalous.

Deidara runs a hand down his face. "For the last time, shut up, Tobi!"

Tobi dramatically stumbles back "Such hostility! And here I thought we were witnessing a blossoming romance!"

You snort. "Yeah, Deidara, didn't take you for the straightforward type."

Deidara glares at you, clearly flustered but trying to play it off. "I am not—ugh, whatever, un." He turns his head to the side, arms still crossed, but you don't miss the way his gaze flickers to your bare shoulders before darting away just as quickly.

You grin, deciding to push him just a little further. "Relax, I'm flattered, really. If you wanna keep staring, just say so."

Deidara immediately stiffens. "I wasn't staring!"

Tobi claps his hands together. "So shameless! I love it!"

The three of you arrive in village that you don't care to remember. Your body is sending unmistakable signals of starvation, and you’re doing your best not to drool as you pass by the tempting aromas of food wafting from the small stalls.

Tobi leads you to a restaurant with a large sign reading "Sukiya." He explains that it’s a place specializing in something called steamboat—not that you have any clue what that is. Apparently, it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet with a two-hour time limit, where you can indulge in unlimited servings. Sounds promising.

Your eyes widen in awe. "All-you-can-eat?" You repeat, feeling your soul ascend. "Unlimited servings? For two whole hours?"

Deidara smirks, noticing your reaction. "What, never been to a buffet before, un?"

You place a hand over his shoulder dramatically. "Deidara, my dear, sweet summer child, you don't understand. Back home, this concept is a luxury. A myth. A fever dream."

Tobi chuckles, nudging you toward the entrance. "Then let's make your dreams come true!"

As soon as you step inside, the rich aroma of simmering broths and sizzling meats overwhelms your senses. Your stomach practically weeps in anticipation. The restaurant is packed with other patrons, their tables filled with plates upon plates of food.

"We should get a seat near the window, un," Deidara suggests, leading the way.

Tobi excitedly waves at a waiter. "Three people! And make sure we get extra meat, she's about to eat like she just escaped a famine!"

You don't even deny it. "Damn right I am."

You settle into your seat, only to realize that Tobi has claimed the spot beside you before Deidara could. Annoyed, Deidara reluctantly takes the seat across from you, arms crossed and a deep frown on his face, sulking like a child.

You don't seem to notice this.

You put down your bindle on your respective booth before getting up to follow Tobi. "Come! I'll teach you how to Sukiya!" While Deidara is forced to look after your stuff.

Your eyes sparkle as you take in the sheer variety of food laid out before you—thinly sliced meats, fresh vegetables, seafood, noodles, and an array of dipping sauces. It's overwhelming in the best way possible.

"Alright, first thing first!" Tobi gestures dramatically, grabbing a plate. "We need to get the meat! Lots and lots of meat!"

You nod sagely. "Agreed."

Tobi enthusiastically begins piling up plates with different cuts of beef, pork, and chicken, stacking them like some kind of architectural masterpiece. Meanwhile, you're drawn to the colorful assortment of sauces and seasonings.

"Ohhh, what's this?" You dip a finger into a mysterious-looking sauce and taste it—only to immediately regret your life choices.

"SPICY!" You clutch your throat, coughing.

Tobi laughs. "That's the special chili sauce! It's extra hot!"

You glare at him, still wheezing. "A little warning would've been nice, you menace."

Meanwhile, back at the table, Deidara scowls at your bindle like it personally offended him. "Why the hell am I babysitting a damn weapon, un?"

"By the way, (Y/N) chan, you're not supposed to dip your finger into the sauce bowls. Other people might use them—it's.... unsanitary!" For the first time, it feels like Tobi is breaking character to scold you— though, still in his childish way. You tilt your head and wonder if this was all an act. He looks—no, he sounds unusually serious all of a sudden. Intrigued, you decide to test your luck and see if there’s a button worth pushing.

You wiggle your finger in his direction as if to make a threat, and he understands your message loud and clear, backing away from you.  "Woah, woah, woah, woaaaah!"

However, it's all for naught. You ignore his attempts to escape and continue advancing until—thud—he backs straight into the edge of a random table, letting out a pained yelp. Seizing the moment, you smear the sauce onto his mask, drawing a heart right in the center. Granted, it’s a little deformed, but hey—it’s the thought that counts.

"(Y/N)-chan! You— you vandalized me!"

You cross your arms, smirking. "Consider it an artistic expression. You're officially mine now."

Tobi freezes for a second "Oh my, how bold!" He twirls away, striking a ridiculous pose. "Deidara-senpai! It seems (Y/N)-chan has claimed me as her beloved!"

From across the restaurant, Deidara—who was just about to take a sip of his drink—chokes. "The fuck did you just say, un?!" He slams his cup down, glaring at Tobi, before turning his sharp eyes to you. "Oi, quit messing around with that idiot!"

You raise an eyebrow. "Jealous?"

"As if!" Deidara scoffs, but you swear you see a faint pink dusting his cheeks.

Tobi, meanwhile, wipes the sauce off his mask with his sleeve, sighing dramatically. "Now I smell like chili..." He pauses. "Wait, this actually smells kinda nice!"

You laugh, enjoying the chaos you've caused. The restaurant staff, however, is watching your group warily, probably wondering if they should kick you out before things get even weirder.

You get back to your respective seat lest the restaurant staff decides to take away your eating privileges.

Deidara, still mildly annoyed, begrudgingly takes on the role of your Sukiya instructor.

"Alright, listen up, un," he starts, rolling up his sleeves. "First, you gotta pick your soup base. There's a bunch of options, but kimuchi is the best—"

"Kimuchi sounds sus," you interrupt, narrowing your eyes at the menu. "What if it poisons me?"

"It's literally soup. Just pick one, un."

Tobi hums, flipping through the menu. "Ooo, (Y/N)-chan should try the sweet soy broth! It's beginner-friendly!"

You squint at him. "I don't like the way you said 'beginner-friendly.'"

Deidara smirks. "She should get the spicy one, un. It's survival of the fittest."

Tobi gasps. "Deidara-senpai, are you trying to kill (Y/N)-chan?!"

"Wow, Deidara. First, you stare at my legs. Now, you want to poison me?"

Deidara chokes, eyes widening. "Hah?! Quit making shit up, un!"

Tobi giggles behind his mask. "Suspicious..."

Ignoring the chaos, you decide to pick two soup bases: the Kimuchi just to spite Deidara (by acting like you’re poisoned later), and the sweet soy broth to see if Tobi's 'beginner-friendly' recommendation was a trap.

Deidara grumbles but helps you set up the hotpot, explaining how to cook the meat and vegetables properly. You pretend to listen, but honestly, you're just here to eat.

Deidara watches your struggle with barely concealed amusement, his lips twitching upward. "You look like you're trying to defuse a bomb, un."

Tobi leans in curiously. "Is (Y/N)-chan having trouble with chopsticks?"

You scowl, determined to maintain your pride. "Absolutely not. I'm a professional."

Right on cue, the beef slips from your trembling chopsticks, plopping unceremoniously back into the broth. You freeze, blinking at your empty chopsticks.

Deidara outright laughs, resting his cheek on his palm. "Yeah, a real professional, un."

"Don't worry, (Y/N)-chan! I can teach you!"

You huff, grabbing another piece with newfound determination. "No need. I'll master this myself."

Deidara smirks, sipping his soup. "Sure, let's see how long that lasts, un."

To save yourself the effort (and avoid any unnecessary teasing), you decide to use your Gravitic Kinesis for this chore. Pretending to pick up the food with your chopsticks, you subtly levitate it toward your bowl with precision.

Smooth.

Deidara narrows his eyes at you, suspicious. "Oi... That was way too smooth, un."

"Wow, (Y/N)-chan, you're a fast learner!"

You nod sagely. "Of course. I have... refined motor skills."

Deidara leans forward, staring at your chopsticks like he's trying to catch you in the act. You continue eating with your perfectly normal technique, making sure to move your hands just enough to make it seem legit.

"Tch. Whatever, un." Deidara eventually huffs, returning to his own food.

You smirk in triumph, taking another effortless bite. Work smarter, not harder.

You lean back in your seat, chewing thoughtfully. This... this could change everything. Babylonia, a land of advanced technology and cosmic wonders, yet... deprived of this divine experience? A tragedy. A crime, even.

You imagine it now: Sukiya - Intergalactic Edition. You, the mastermind behind it all, introducing Babylonians to the concept of unlimited, mouthwatering meats and endless sauce combinations. The economy would skyrocket. You'd be revered as a culinary pioneer. Perhaps even worshipped.

You snap back in reality when you realise something.

Tobi is wearing a mask.

In order to eat, he has to take off the mask.

You whip your head to your side, almost violently just to be disappointed. He's eating, from under his mask... Only ever lifting the mask slightly to shove food inside his mouth. You can barely even see his lips.

You squint your eyes in frustration. This man is cheating.

"Hey, Tobi." You lean in closer, trying to catch even the tiniest glimpse of his face. "What are you hiding under there?"

Tobi freezes mid-bite before tilting his head at you, clearly amused. "Ehhh? (Y/N)-chan, are you interested in my face?" He wiggles playfully in his seat.

Deidara notices your intense stare and scoffs. "Don't bother, un. None of us have ever seen his face either."

You blink, turning your attention back to Tobi. "Really?"

"Really, really!" Tobi says cheerfully, shoving another piece of beef under his mask. Your curiosity skyrockets. "So, what do you look like under there?"

"A mystery!"

Deidara rolls his eyes. "More like a freak, un."

"Deidara-senpai, that's so mean!"

You sigh, resting your chin on your palm as you swirl your chopsticks in the broth. Technically, you could just activate your Byakugan and take a peek under that mask right now. A quick glance, a harmless little violation of privacy. But no—you're a civilized Babylonian. You have morals.

Besides, forcing the issue would only make him more cautious. If you want to uncover the mystery of Tobi's face, you need to play the long game. Gain his trust. Lull him into a false sense of security. And then, when he least expects it—bam! The mask comes off.

This will be your greatest slow-burn challenge yet.

Deidara watches you with narrowed eyes. "Why do you look like you're plotting something, un?"

You snap out of your scheming trance and offer an innocent smile. "Oh, nothing! Just thinking about how much I love Sukiya!"

"Yay! (Y/N)-chan loves Sukiya!"

You nod enthusiastically, but deep down, your true goal is set. Tobi's mask will fall. It's only a matter of time.

Everyone finishes eating, currently having dessert. Humans version of dessert is like a divine revelation.

You take another small bite, letting the salty-sweet flavor melt on your tongue. Weird... but not bad. It's unlike anything you've had before, and that alone makes it worthy of appreciation.

Tobi hums happily as he enjoys his matcha ice cream, swaying slightly in his seat. "Mmm! (Y/N)-chan, what do you think of ice scream?"

You tap your spoon against your lips, thinking. "Babylonia has ice cream, but the flavors are... lacking. We have basic ones, like vanilla and chocolate, but nothing as adventurous as this." You scoop up another bite of the blue dessert. "Sea-salt ice cream... I expected it to taste like actual seawater."

Deidara snorts. "What, like fish and seaweed? That'd be disgusting, un."

"Exactly." You point your spoon at him before popping it into your mouth. "But this? This is actually kinda nice. Who knew salt and sugar worked so well together?"

Kisame would probably be thrilled to know humans made an ice cream that reminded you of him. Or maybe he'd be offended. Hard to tell.

The bill arrives, and you can’t help but smile—because you don’t have a single coin to your name. Back home, when faced with the dire need for a free meal, the solution was always a bit… convoluted. A little charm, a little deception, and voilà—someone else foots the bill.

Now, the real question is: Which one of these men should you try to scam?

You drum your fingers on the table, glancing between Deidara and Tobi.

Deidara catches your gaze and frowns. "What?"

You bat your eyelashes. "Deidara~"

His expression immediately shifts into suspicion. "No."

You pout. "You didn't even let me finish!"

"Because I already know it's some bullshit, un."

Fine. You turn to Tobi instead. "Tobi, you're so strong and cool. You must be a gentleman who believes in treating a lady to a nice meal, right?"

Tobi tilts his head. "Oh! Does (Y/N)-chan not have money?"

You sigh dramatically. "Alas, I am but a poor traveler, down on my luck..."

"Should've thought about that before you ate enough for three people, un," Deidara mutters. “So what?! It’s an all—you—can—eat! they charge per head!”

Tobi hums in thought before clapping his hands together. "Okay! (Y/N)-chan can wash the dishes!"

"Wait, what?"Your smile drops.

"You can't just leave me here!" You look at him with a serious expression, dropping any kind of jest that may appear.

"But (Y/N)-chan, you have to pay for your food somehow!"

"Actions have consequences, un." Deidara smirks.

You narrow your eyes at them both. "You guys are just gonna abandon me here? After everything we've been through?"

"We went through, like, one meal together, un."

You dramatically grab Tobi's sleeve. "Please, Tobi, you're my last hope! Don't let them take me!"

Tobi wiggles out of your grasp and proceeds to pats your head. "Good luck!" Then, just like that, he turns and walk away toward the counter to pay for himself.

Deidara follows with a chuckle, waving over his shoulder. "Try not to break too many plates, yeah?"

Your jaw drops as they leave you behind. You glance at the staff member standing by the register, arms crossed and waiting.

Well, they leave you with no choice.

"Oi—! What the hell, un?!" Deidara stumbles forward, nearly face-planting into a chair as you yank at his belt pouch with surprising force. He physically vibrates from the impact, his entire balance thrown off.

Tobi bursts into laughter at this scene.

"You—You thief!" Deidara scowls, frantically patting his sides to check what you managed to snatch.

You hold up the prize with a victorious smirk—his wallet. "Finders keepers, losers weepers."

Deidara's eye twitches. "GIVE THAT BACK, UN!"

"Why should I?" You open it, flipping through his cash. "You're the one who abandoned me first. Consider this... compensation."

"COMPENSATION—?!" Deidara lunges at you, but you're already making a mad dash for the restaurant counter, slamming the money down. "This should cover everything, keep the change!" you chirp before spinning on your heel and making your escape.

Tobi howls with laughter as Deidara chases after you, shouting a string of expletives. "YOU'RE DEAD, (Y/N)! DEAD! UN!"

You sprint away, leaving both Tobi and Deidara from your vicinity. You figure you should give them some time before meeting up with them again.

You stop your running and starts frowning. What the hell? You puff out your cheeks in frustration. Back home, your charm was practically a cheat code for getting out of any financial responsibility. But these Earth humans—especially these Akatsuki weirdos—seemed completely unaffected. Were they immune?

You run a self conscious check on the reflection of a nearby window. You squint at your reflection, scrutinizing every angle of your face. Were your pheromones not working? Had you lost your touch?

You pout at the glass, adjusting your hat slightly. No, that can't be right. Maybe they just have a higher resistance? Or maybe... you weren't being bold enough. Maybe, next time you should try touching them and rubbing your body on their shoulders.

You stroke your chin in thought, but before you can come up with a new strategy, you hear the unmistakable sound of someone stomping towards you.

"THERE YOU ARE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Uh oh.

You glance over your shoulder, locking eyes with an absolutely livid Deidara. His blue eyes are practically blazing with irritation, and you're pretty sure he's about two seconds away from hurling an explosive at you.

"Oi, do you have a death wish or something, un?!" he growls, stomping closer.

You weigh your options. Running? Risky. You don't even know where you are. Fighting? Also risky—he seems like the type to take things personally. Talking your way out? Hmm... yes, that's right. Manipulation is your brand.

You tilt your head, putting on your most innocent expression. "Deidara~ you came looking for me? That's so sweet of you!"

His eye twitches. "I had to, because you scammed us into paying for your damn food!"

You pout dramatically. "Scammed? That's such a strong word. I prefer persuaded."

"You didn't persuade shit!"

Tobi suddenly appears behind him, clapping his hands. "Woahhh, Deidara-senpai is so passionate! Could it be that he's—"

"Shut the hell up, Tobi!"

"In my defence, I thought you guys were paying for me. I thought Tobi was going to pay since he did brought us here"

"Oh? So now it's my fault?" Tobi puts his hands on his hips, tilting his head dramatically. "Just because I brought you here doesn't mean I'm your sugar daddy, (Y/N)-chan!"

Deidara looks absolutely offended at the mere mention of Tobi being anyone's sugar daddy. "Don't ever say that again, un," he mutters, rubbing his temples like he's seconds away from an aneurysm.

You cross your arms, shifting your weight to one leg. "So you're telling me... that in this entire meal, no one planned to cover for me? Wow. I thought we were comrades." You sigh dramatically, shaking your head. "Betrayal is a wound that never heals."

Deidara points an accusing finger at you. "You—!! We just met you today!"

Tobi nods. "Yeah, yeah! You haven't even been in the Akatsuki for 24 hours!"

You shrug. "And yet, I trusted you with my life."

Deidara groans loudly, dragging his hands down his face. "I swear—next time, you're paying for us!"

"With what money?" You blink innocently. "I'm broke."

Tobi gasps. "No way! You're broke and you tried to dine and dash?!"

Deidara lets out a sound of pure suffering. "I hate both of you," he mutters, turning on his heel. "We're leaving before she gets us arrested, un."

You beam, skipping after them. "Aw, so you do care~!"

You skip back toward them with a beaming smile, completely satisfied. No violence, no conflict—just smooth execution. It all worked out perfectly.

Humans may not seem like it at first, but they’re surprisingly soft. Even these S-rank criminals, feared across nations, have their own peculiar ways of showing kindness.

"Well, what's next?" You ask, content.