The frigid night air filled Tenten’s lungs as she leaped across the roofs of her neighborhood in the late hours of the night. It was an intense feeling, reminding her of battle—the way her heart thumped in her ears and her breathing left soft clouds of condensation. The first snow of the winter was yet to fall, but the tiled roofs were nonetheless covered with thin layers of ice that refused to spare even Tenten’s rubber soles from slipping. She sniffled softly, wiping her runny nose from both the crying and the cold, before arriving at the training ground underlooking the Great Hokage Faces.
Her blood was still pounding in her veins from her journey there, her argument with her parents, and her angry declaration of leaving the house lurking behind her like a barbed fishhook she couldn’t shake off. She’d hoped that Lee was still here doing some ridiculous training routine after midnight, running around on his hands or trying to lift a log with his pinky. She yearned for something ridiculous enough to prevent her from thinking entirely, refusing to let her emotions reach her heart. But a quick scan of the grounds revealed no presence of a clad-green teenager pumping to the brim with youth.
“Tenten?”
She yelped softly at the sudden noise, imagining some pervert lurking in the shadows of the training ground, waiting for some poor distressed kunoichi to arrive late in the night. Swiftly, Tenten launched the first three shuriken she felt in her holster towards the sound of the voice, falling back into a defensive position.
The figure came forward unharmed and with eyebrows raised above pale lilac eyes. “To think you’d recognize my voice after almost half a decade of being on the same team.”
Her stance immediately loosened, and she barked a laugh out, forcing it out like bile to hide her internal distress. “Neji?! What are you doing here at this hour?”
The man shrugged, motioning to the destroyed tree trunk behind him. “Getting in some last-minute training.”
“Should you really be expending your chakra like that? Tomorrow’s mission is pretty important.”
Neji rolled his eyes, throwing one of the shuriken he’d caught back to Tenten. “Don’t underestimate me.” She caught it between her fingers, a pang shooting through her spine at the face of their sheer power difference.
Tenten shook her head, sitting down on the soft grass as Neji made his way by her side, rolling his shoulder as he took a seat beside her. “How come you’re here, hm? Your parents are usually pretty strict with you staying out late, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, and that’s why I did it. To aggravate them.”
Neji laughed softly, closing his eyes. “As expected of you.”
They sat in silence for a few moments before Neji spoke again.
“What did they yell about this time?”
Tenten couldn’t help but laugh at his sudden question, slapping him softly on the shoulder as he returned a smile. “Do you really see everything with those eyes?”
Neji huffed, pushing her with the shoulder she’d slapped. “I don’t need my eyes to sense your distress.”
“What, can you smell it or something? Gotta give it to you Hyuuga, it seems you guys have special eyes and special noses.”
“Very funny, Tenten,” he mumbled in an unamused manner, “But don’t try changing the subject.”
She clicked her tongue and turned her face away from him, pretending to be entranced by the slightly wet grass they were sitting on. “It’s embarrassing.”
Neji looked at her blankly, as if she’d just spouted nonsense. “And?”
“...They were lecturing me about relationships.”
He raised an eyebrow, his head tilting softly to the side. “Like a boyfriend?”
She shook her head. “It’s complicated; they want me to start showing more interest in love and dating but still not participate in any of it, I guess. It’s like they wanna know I’m prepared to be a wife and mother when I grow up but still not indulge myself into teenage hormones.”
“So…they want you to have a crush on someone but not date them?”
Tenten sighed, brushing off the imaginary dust on her sleeve as she stood up and started walking. Neji followed behind promptly, easily falling into step by her side. “Neji, it’s actually so fucking stupid it drives me insane! Like, what does that even mean?”
Neji’s eyebrows furrowed, and he gave a short huff before replying, “They’re just worried about your future and don’t know how to express it.”
“They should have been worried a decade earlier then; they didn’t even know I wanted to become a kunoichi until I got promoted to a genin! It angers me so much you don’t even know!” She kicked a rock on the ground as Neji moved forward to hold open the chain-link door for her. She walked through without hesitation, continuing her rant. “They were all like, ‘Tenten, do you have a boyfriend?’ ‘What? ‘Why don’t you have a boyfriend?’ ‘You’re not allowed to have one though, remember?’ What the hell did they want me to do?”
Neji hummed softly in sympathy, catching up to her effortlessly again with his long, sophisticated strides. “You just need some space from them.”
“Yeah, that’s why I told them I’m leaving and not coming back.”
“Again?”
Tenten pouted slightly at his lack of agreement. “I’ll go back after the mission tomorrow like always, what’s the harm?”
“And where will you stay until tomorrow?”
She blinked slowly, observing and suddenly growing aware of the dark, cold surroundings of her hometown. “...It’s just till morning, I’ll live. There’s a handful of restaurants and parks open that I can go to after you head home.”
Neji shook his head in immediate disapproval, his pace slowing for a few seconds. “Home? I’m not leaving you out here alone.”
“...Ah. I see.”
She looked away immediately as he rescued his original face; a chord of warmth struck in Tenten’s heart, the melody rushing through her chest like blood, warm enough to push away the frigidness of the night—of her life.
Her gaze flitted to his side profile as they walked, the sudden warmth coaxing out a doozy feeling.
He really was handsome.
Neji Hyuuga had matured into an elegant and gentle man, quite different from the young boy who had first graduated from the academy. His dark hair gracefully framed his slender and defined features, like painted branches enclosing a portrait of a forgotten ruler. He was gifted beauty and strength blessed only once in hundreds of generations, a diamond among the pebbles of Hyuuga.
She didn’t feel guilt about her thoughts despite the lecture from her parents about her lack of interest in boys.
Because they were wrong.
Sure she didn’t express the interest she had, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t there.
Instead, she felt guilt for finding her teammate, Neji Hyuuga of all people, attractive in the first place. She knew it wasn’t necessarily wrong (her thoughts always landed on Team Seven and the atrocious romantic dynamics the three of them shared with each other), but she feared for the delicate balance between him being her teammate or something more.
Neji seemed to be entranced in his own thoughts, mindlessly turning corner after corner, his delicate eyelashes brushing against the hood of his eye. Tenten found herself wondering how they’d feel against her cheek if he leaned in close enough. Or how his hands would feel in hers. Or his lips on her skin.
“Will your uncle not expect you back home tonight?”
Neji’s eyebrow twitched slightly at the mention of his uncle, but other than that, he kept his face neutral. “It doesn’t matter to me.”
She caught the bitterness in his tone, harsh enough for her to steer from the topic without hesitation. “Well, we should rest before tomorrow, it’s a long way to the village we’re being sent to, we need energy to keep up with Gai and Lee.”
“Should we go to Gai’s?”
“Neji, we aren’t Genin anymore, you really want to burden him with the angsts of his students at two in the morning?”
He sighed softly, “Well, I’m not going to sleep on some park bench.”
Tenten skipped closer to him with a mischievous smile, pushing him slightly with her shoulder. “Guess even being a shinobi can’t untrain the prestige tastes of the rich.” The motion was an excuse, honestly, to compare the height of his shoulder with hers again. It made her feel queasy in her stomach again.
“Seriously?” Neji rolled his eyes and patted his pocket to feel for something. “Well then, I suppose we can rest at the inn near the city gates. It’ll be convenient in the morning when we leave for the mission.”
Tenten’s eyes flickered away as she slowed her pace to fall behind him. “Neji. I can’t just–”
He didn’t turn back to face her, instead he reached back for her forearm and pulled her toward him, walking while she trailed behind him, a mixture of shock and embarrassment evident on her face. “I’ll pay.”
“Neji–”
“Pay for my meal next time.”
“But–”
“Then owe me a favor.”
Tenten sighed exasperatedly at how quickly he read her, fingers still softly gripping her bicep as he steered them toward the city gates. The cover of the night hid the rising flush of blood on her face as she pulled from his grip gently to walk beside him. “Seriously, you don’t even let me get a word in…”
“As I’ve said, such expenses are nothing to me.”
“And have you thought about what people might think if they saw us together checking into a hotel?”
“Let them think.” Tenten scoffed incredulously at his dismissiveness, but she couldn’t help the feeling in her stomach to crawl up to her throat. She gulped forcefully a few times to push it back to her stomach as Neji, unbothered, walked straight into the inn, talked to the front desk lady, and returned promptly with a set of keys in his hand. “Shall we?”
It was a basic room, with minimal furniture, two traditional futons, and an attached bathroom that smelled deeply of tobacco and piss. Rough, clay-colored curtains lined the singular small window, only half drawn to allow ventilation. Tenten ran her hand over the rusted window frame, a cumbersome feeling rooting itself in her stomach. “Thanks, Neji.”
Neji sat on the uneven loveseat, rubbing his forehead tensely as she sat on the bed’s edge. “Sorry, it’s all they had available apart from singles.”
“I’m not complaining; you’re literally paying for it.”
An uncharacteristic silence followed her words. Unlike the comfortable pauses in conversation they shared, this seemed to be suffocating and awkward. Tenten didn’t understand why the atmosphere had suddenly changed, so she shuffled nervously to the futon closest to the window. Tentatively, she reached up to let her hair down from their buns, tugging harshly at her hair. Neji stood, wordlessly, and moved to help her, his lithe fingers threading through her hair and gently pulling out the pins. Her hand brushed against his as she untied the hair tie, promptly noting his lack of movement away from her touch.
God, she thought. She was going insane.
He was making her go insane.
“Sit.”
Neji nodded and took his place by her, still brushing through her hair despite it being open.
She couldn't be overthinking this, he was literally playing with her hair as if they were together. Or was this something friends did? Unfortunately, her parents were still technically partially right about her never being interested in men, the fact was she had no idea of the lines between a lover and a teammate. Her thoughts raged while her face remained pensive, staring at the skin beneath his ashen lips. Her eyes flitted lower and lower, to his chin, his neck, and the skin of his chest peeking out slightly.
Then she saw it.
Like a blooming rose among fresh snow, a purplish bruise under his collarbone. It was large, probably the size of a palm but she couldn’t tell for sure since it slipped under his clothing.
“Neji.”
His eyes traveled down to her gaze and he sighed softly, moving his hand up to his chest. “Tenten.”
“You’re a Jonin. How is he still allowed to hurt—”
“Tenten.” He pressed again, a hint of frustration in his voice as his hand fell from her hair. “I am a Hyuuga from the branch family before I am a Jonin.”
“And am I a woman before I am a kunoichi?” She growled softly, reaching forward to slap his hand away from the bruise so she could get a better look. “Am I a teammate before I am your friend? You don’t have to choose one when you can be both. It’s not something that is exclusive.”
Neji shakes his head. “You see me as who I am. Unfortunately, the case does not match my uncle’s.”
“So? That doesn’t excuse anything! I’ll challenge him, I’ll beat his ass and carry you like a charming prince, and you can come live with me.” Neji laughed, rather loudly for him, at her declaration, causing Tenten’s lip to pout softly. “What? You don’t believe me.”
Neji’s lips formed a benign smile. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, I know you’d march into hell just to prove someone wrong. But come on, what would your parents say about bringing home a man after all they said to you?”
She shook her head, not satisfied with his answer. “Hmph.”
He tilted his head, reaching forward to brush her hair off her face. “Ah, are you angry with me now, Tenten?” It seemed the butterflies in her stomach had evolved into birds. Energetic birds. His tone, his choice of words, everything was engraving itself into Tenten’s brain in a way she couldn’t help but indulge in. “Come on…” he pressed tenderly, his tired eyes only adding to the list of reasons her heart was overworking itself. “I didn’t pay for the room just so we could sit in silence, mad at each other.”
She didn’t know what was more pathetic in her eyes, his pleading for her attention or the speed with which she folded. Her eyes flickered to his, still narrowed but accepting defeat as she took her place by his side again. “Then what was it for?”
“For you to rest.”
“I’m too worked up to rest right now.”
He shook his head in amusement at her response before kicking his feet up and lying back onto the mat. “Just try closing your eyes.” He followed up promptly with closing his own and letting out a small yawn.
Tenten studied his face in detail as he kept his eyes closed. The elegant arch of his eyebrows, the tiny mole under his cheek, so faint it was almost unnoticeable. His moon-kissed skin, a comforting translucence, is beautiful even with shadows, if not enhanced by them. Tenten gripped the rough bed sheets unpleasantly, her thoughts unravelling on her tongue before she could stop herself.
“Hey, do you…have someone you like?”
He softly opened his eyes. “Someone I like?”
Tenten looked away from Neji’s direction, suddenly finding herself encapsulated by the embroidery on the bedsheets. “Yeah. I was wondering.”
Neji hummed softly, as if he were considering the prospect. “Because of the lecture you got earlier?”
That wasn’t the case at all. But Tenten nodded anyway, running her hands against the uneven and frayed threading of the dulled yellow honeysuckles. “Yeah. My parents claimed everyone demonstrates interest at this age.”
“They wouldn’t be wrong.” Her eyes widened slightly, and her head snapped up to look at Neji. His eyebrow slightly furrowed, and he moved to cover the bottom of his face with the back of his hand, looking away nervously. “What? What are you looking at me like that for?”
“Even you?”
He huffed, but not in an annoyed tone, and turned his face away further from Tenten’s gaze. “I am still a man.”
“You can’t just drop that and not tell me who has the pleasure of gaining your affections.”
“Tenten, I don’t think—”
“If you tell me, I’ll tell you mine.”
A flawless plan on Tenten’s part, if he said her name she’d say his, if not she’d name someone believable and then later depressively gloom in the bathroom. The latter possibility irked her, but she didn’t push it out of her head. Instead, she kept it close to her heart despite the painful clawing it brought to her chest, letting the pain of her expectations ground her, preventing her head from flying out of reach.
He blinked, slowly lowering his hand from his face but still refusing eye contact. “I don’t think you will like the answer.”
“...It’s not Naruto, is it—”
“No!” Neji’s eyes widened again, his eyes finding hers in pure shock before fluttering away again. “No, it’s not Naruto.” He closed his eyes again, his eyebrows still furrowed as if he was struggling to find the right words. “I prefer people with a bit more,” he paused, “maturity.”
“Older women?”
“Not exactly.”
Tenten’s heart was thumping louder and louder, the anticipation building up to her chest, slowly bleeding up to her larynx, and her tongue. “Then, is it someone I know?”
“You're being cruel, Tenten, please—” He reached forward to grab her wrist, tugging it enough to finally make eye contact. He looked at her with desperation, hints of anxiety she’d learn to catch throughout the years. The twitching of his index finger, the soft stress lines appearing near his temple, his nails pressing deeper into his hands.
Habitually, she reached to grab his other wrist, threading her fingers through his before Neji could break the skin of his palms. Tenten looked up to meet his eyes again, struck again with the pleading desperation in his eyes, a type of expression one would find under an altar—a sinner begging for mercy.
“You owed me a favor, remember? For this room.”
“Yes.”
“Then swear your opinion of me will stay the same.”
“It will.”
Neji nodded, unmoving for a few breaths as he absorbed Tenten’s words as if silently accepting a conviction.
“I didn’t notice till recently how different I acted. How much I’d changed since I was a child.” His thumb ran gently against the vein of her wrist, his eyes unwavering despite the slight quiver in his voice. “I thought I was incapable of love, not because I couldn’t but because I didn’t think I had the capability to. I thought love was the same as my uncle’s, he loved me, that’s why he hurt me, pushed me to my limits. He loved Lady Hinata, so he abused and verbally berated her. Even then I knew I couldn’t do such things to someone I cared for; therefore, I could never love.”
“But I was wrong. Wrong about what loving someone meant and about my competence to express my feelings. I’ve learned to love people in all kinds of ways, as a brother, a student, a friend… Yet the receivers of my deepest affections have remained the same these past years.”
Neji reached forward to brush her bangs away from her eyes, his voice caressing her heart like a feathered embrace. “Who else could it be but you?”
Tenten blinked. Once, then twice.
After keeping herself grounded with expectations for so long, it felt like instead of having her head in the clouds, the ground beneath her had cracked, plunging her into the unknown.
“It’s… It’s only because I’m the only woman around you, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not.”
“I don’t understand. Then, why? How?”
The corner of Neji’s lip quivered, but his eyes still held a sense of tenderness. “I noticed your interest in me long ago, and I found myself thinking about it constantly, from the time I’d wake in the morning into the deep hours of the night. I asked myself perpetually why you would like me in the first place, why you kept it to yourself, why you’d become the sole thought in my mind, why your laugh would make my heart flutter, why your touch sent shivers down my spine, why looking at you seemed like I was staring at a too-bright sun, always there but out of reach. It didn’t come to me suddenly that I liked you, it came slowly. Like how we grew up.”
Tenten turned a deeper shade of red at every sentence he muttered, mirroring the dusty blush adorning his pale cheekbones as the words unraveled on his tongue and enveloped her mind. “Was it that obvious?”
“You helped make those Valentine’s chocolates with Lady Hinata, Sakura, and the others. I remember it rather clearly, the difference between the ones you gave to the others and the ones you gave to me.”
She laughed, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “The filling? I didn’t think you’d notice.”
“Yes, the filling, but also how you’d tied it together with a red string on mine. Lady Hinata had said you helped a lot with the packaging, and I couldn’t help but notice how everyone else's boxes were tied with a brown thread.”
“I thought it was subtle enough for you to notice but not comprehend.”
Tenten felt her eyes water, the influx of emotions inside her bursting out little by little. She wasn’t sad, hell she was on some cloud nine, flurried with intense joy, nervousness, and confusion. Neji pulled his sleeve up, revealing a worn red string, wrapped and firmly tied around his wrist. She tried to open her mouth and talk, but only a weak call of his name exited her throat. He didn’t listen to her soft cry, swiftly untying the firm scarlet line and softly wrapping it around his pinky, then hers.
As if impressed by his own feat, he smiled in a sense of achievement and pride, looking to her for a sense of approval. “It seems the end of my string connects to you.”
“You…you’re crazy, Neji Hyuga.” She stood up, moving to the window for a breath of fresh air, and covered her flustered face with her palms. Yet, the taut string was strong enough to pull Neji in her direction, strong enough to have him take his place beside her with an expression mirroring hers.
A few comfortable moments passed as their hands brushed against each other, gazing out at the night sky together. The gray clouds encompassed the sky like a warm blanket, yet let down small snowflakes onto the world beneath them.
It was surprising when she first felt a speck of cold on her cheek. Then another, and another.
“Ah, this winter’s first snow.” Neji took a sharp breath of the freezing air before letting it out, thick clouds of condensation forming into unfathomable and random figures before dissipating into the wind. The world felt small.
She turned her head, then her body, before grabbing his collar and pulling him down to smash her lips against his.
Neji seemed to momentarily malfunction, eyes widened as he was met with the sight of Tenten’s closed eyes and furrowed eyebrows while her lips were pressing against his with such ardor it blocked out his brain’s ability to form thoughts. Finally, the warmth spread, first down his throat, then to his stomach, making its way down his whole body. Neji kissed back feverishly, moving his hand up to her to encase her jaw and pull her closer.
She broke the kiss after a few more seconds, panting heavily as her eyes fluttered to meet Neji’s.
For a moment, Tenten wondered if she had fucked up.
But he smiles. Not even smiles! Despite it being so uncharacteristic of Neji, he meets her with a smirk. “Is this really your new way to rebel against your parents?”
Tenten pushed him against the wall, the initial fear fluttering away to be replaced by want, need. She shifted on her tiptoes to press her lips against his collarbone, softly nipping at his pleasant scented and pliable skin. “You act like you’re not enjoying it just as much.”
He hummed, his hands traveling up to her hair, tugging at its roots to pull her head back. “So what if I am? I can’t help it if you pant against my neck like that.”’
Tenten growled at his amused expression, retreating from his neck. “You’ve grown quite an attitude Neji.”
“How could I not after being around you?”
“That’s it, nevermind. I’m heading home.” She adjusted herself to move away, a faux movement to grasp at his attention.
Neji grabbed her hand without hesitation, pulling her back into his chest, his fingers reaching out to brush her bangs to the side so he could stare directly into her eyes. “Hmm…No take backs.” He grinned again, and moved forward to press his lips against her feverish ones once again, tasting the slight flavor of her lip balm.
Tenten groaned softly into his mouth, her hands traveling to his abdomen, running her fingers in a circular motion against his stomach, earning her a few hushed grunts. He pressed himself deeper against her, Tenten’s arm moving to wrap around his neck.
“Mm, strawberry today?”, he mumbled as he brushed his tongue against her upper lip.
She rolled her eyes, pinching his side, causing him to softly yelp into her ear. “Pervert.”
“For noting the flavor of your lip balm?”, he asked with an incredulous expression, before leaning in to kiss her again.
“I have a feeling you knew it before you kissed me.”
Neji’s eyes fluttered away, the heat rising to his face. “I didn’t use any perverse methods to find out though, I just saw you put it on after morning training.”
Tenten hummed. “Is that so?” Her hands traveling up to graze his chest, Neji’s warm skin inviting compared to the cool breeze of the outside. He shivered at the sensation, but pulled her closer anyway.
She smiled softly. “Neji. Kiss me again.”
“As you wish.”