Chapter 9
Either Hashirama lied about everything, or...Madara is not his crush, and the white roses meaning is not crush. It's something else. But what could it be?
Hashirama was still frozen in place. Crap. Did Madara know about his feeling? Is that why he is so pissed? Should he kneel down and beg to Madara to forgive him?
He was ready to bury and throw away his feeling for Madara, he didn't want their friendship to end like this. Hashirama didn't want Madara to leave him, or not part of his life anymore.
And judging by Madara's words, he is pissed. Like seriously pissed. Hashirama felt like crying there, he want to tell Madara everything, and ask for forgiveness.
But God no, it would make everything worse.
Hashirama was still silent in his place, contemplating about what to do.
"Let's go to the festival."
Madara's voice forced Hashirama to snap back to reality. Madara walks out from his bedroom, Hashirama followed Madara from behind. He didn't dare to walk next to Madara. Not after everything that happened.
On the way to the festival, none of them talk, not even one word. It was an awkward moment, but they continue walking to the festival.
Eventually they arrived at the festival. Madara finally speak up.
"Let's find Izuna and your brother."
Hashirama nods. He secretly wished he could spend time with Madara together alone. But Madara was already pissed at him, he couldn't hope much.
Hashirama continue walking behind Madara. He glance at the man's long spiky hair, swaing side to side as he walk. His yukata gold pattern was glittering amongst the night time surrounding.
He loved Madara so much. But what if his feeling makes Madara back away from him? Would Madara eventually leave him?
Hashirama continue pondering, without realizing, his head grow more white roses. It was until some passerby giggle and point at his head, then Hashirama realized.
He pluck away the white roses and toss it to the side of the road. God dammit. If only he could stop this weird disease. Or control his feeling. Or throw away his feeling entirely.
Hashirama eyes start becoming damp. His tears eventually fall down, he quickly wipe away his tears. As he cried, some hydrangeas start blooming on his head. Hashirama could feel it, and he hate it. He hate this stupid disease. Making him wears his emotion on his sleeve for everyone to see.
Hashirama squat down to pry off the hydrangeas away, but it was too much as it keeps growing and growing.
Madara stopped walking as he couldn't sense Hashirama's chakra near him anymore. He looked back and see Hashirama sitting on a bench, trying to pry off the flowers on his head.
Madara sigh. He turns back and walk up towards Hashirama. Hashirama was busy plucking off his flowers, he didn't notice Madara was walking up to him, until he heard Madara's voice.
"Hydrangeas?"
Madara was a little shocked. Why was Hashirama suddenly sad? Was it because Madara's words? Or because he suddenly turn cold against Hashirama?
Madara curse himself. He was just upset because he is confused about the white roses thing. He didn't want to make Hashirama sad, or even cry.
"Hashirama."
Madara look at the man in front of him, still sitting down, prying off every hydrangeas that bloom on his head.
"...why are you crying?"
Madara sit next to Hashirama and start helping Hashirama to pluck off the flowers.
Hashirama only shake his head quietly, and try to grasp the hydrangeas on his head rougher.
"Hey, easy there."
Madara swat off Hashirama's hand, and he pluck off Hashirama's hydrangeas carefully.
Tons of Hydrangeas are laid down on Hashirama's lap. It finally stop blooming after whole ten minute.
Madara glance down at his friend, looking sad. Very not Hashirama like.
"Hashi."
Madara touch hashirama hand, then try to look at Hashirama's face. Hashirama look away, as he didn't want to see Madara.
Madara sigh as he gently hold Hashirama's chin and make Hashirama face Madara.
"Hashi. Talk to me."
Madara glance at Hashirama's watery eyes.
Nothing came out. Hashirama didn't say anything, nor try to talk.
Madara sigh. He hate to admit, but this one is on him. It was unfair, why would he get upset at Hashirama because he doesn't understand what a goddamn flower means, and instead make Hashirama cry?
"I'm sorry. Hashirama."
Madara speaks again. This time, Hashirama move his eyes and glance into Madara eyes.
"..I'm wrong here. I was pissed because I'm sure you know what the white roses mean, and i start overthinking everything."
Madara finally let go of Hashirama's chin, and thankfully Hashirama still maintains eye contact.
"I'm sorry. Please don't cry anymore."
Madara sigh and wipe Hashirama's tears.
Hashirama nods and break into a small giggle, still have small sobs coming out from him.
"I thought you hate me.."
Hashirama glance at Madara.
"But Madara, i- ..i truly don't know what the white roses means."
Hashirama bit his lower lip and wipe away his tears.
"Let's find out together, okay? Tobirama can help"
Hashirama smiles again, colors start coming back to his face.
"Sorry for being a crybaby. I thought you want to leave me."
Hashirama mumbles as he chuckle a little.
"Leave you?"
Madara was stunned a little.
"Why would i leave you? I'm here, ain't i?"
Madara was confused, he tilt his head.
"..i mean.."
Hashirama trails off.
"You're always so distant. I can't figure you out. Even after decades of being friends, enemy and rival."
Hashirama sniffs again.
"You always close yourself. Even when i try to be there for you to open up. But you always refuse."
Hashirama looks down and sigh, as he plays with the hydrangeas on his lap.
"I'm afraid you're gonna leave eventually. We wouldn't talk anymore, and you're just...gone from my life. I don't want that.."
Madara sigh when he heard that from Hashirama. That's pretty spot on. He always let Hashirama lead their friendship. And Madara is always so distant.
He is afraid, for someone to betray him. He build his walls for years, and even blocking away Hashirama who is genuine, the most kind person on earth he ever know, the epitome of an angel as a person.
"I'm sorry"
Madara hold Hashirama's hand once again.