The Spirits' Blessing of Fate
It was said that the world was blessed by benevolent spirits who watched the death of two lovers pushed away by their warring families. They were madly in love that they eloped, leaving their kingdom and families to fight amongst themselves, not caring about the casualties it will bring. Unknowingly, they walked into a trap set by both families due to their rebellious ways. They were shot with arrows straight to their chests by a hired assassin. Their bodies were located deep within a forest, holding each other’s bodies closely, whispering their love and affection until the light left their eyes. The spirits surrounded them, finding the couple pitiful that they didn’t get to fulfill a life full of love. They turned them into spirits like them, but to prevent others from falling to the same fate as them, they were granted a second chance at life. A second chance as spirits that guided soulmates to one another with the help of nature.
For as long as Kakashi has been alive, soul guides were a part of Konoha’s culture. A forest a distance away from Konoha was blessed by the spirits, delegating them soul guides that are tied to their soul. Like a true relationship, a connection must be made between person and soul guide for their bond to deepen. It lets them understand one another, allowing the soul guides to accurately guide their person to their fated one. It was said that there may be instances of miscommunication due to the lack of a bond, confusing the soul guide to lead them to the wrong person, sometimes not even leading them to anyone at all. The elders have warned others to have faith in their soul guide and soulmates for their soul guides are driven by a person’s faith in the bond. Those who don’t heed the wisdom of the elders may find their soul guides weakening until the forest claims them to give to another soul seeking for their fated one.
Kakashi has never done the coming-of-age ritual. He’s never gone close to the forest, nor did he want to. He’s watched his friends and peers venture into the forest once they turned 16, coming back with a soul guide that walked or flew with them, some even finding purchase on their being. He remembers when Guy ran up to him one day with a tortoise? Kakashi can’t deny that it sort of fit with Guy’s steadfast and persevering disposition. He wonders how the little guy can stay rooted on Guy’s shoulder with every exuberant movement.
As shinobi, Kakashi believes that personal ties can distract one from their mission. What more a soulmate? They’re a burden. And people are emotional creatures. He has enough experience to make such a claim. Kakashi would rather think of himself while trying to survive rather than wonder how his soulmate would feel should the mission go awry.
Whenever he thinks of soulmates, he thinks of his father, his soul guide, and ultimately his mother, whom he never got the chance to meet. His father talked about his soul guide, a white wolf, with fondness. Their bond was inseparable to the point that they were attuned to each other’s emotions. Like a true soul bond, his wolf was fond of his mother and her soul guide as well. It was deep and profound that their deaths—his mother and her soul guide—left them distraught and overwhelmed by grief. Rather than two, his father mourned three, following the death of his soul guide months later. His father would that they are together wherever they may be, praying that the spirits guide them back together.
When Kakashi was younger, he wondered what soul guide he’d get. Would it be a wolf like his father’s or a ferret like his mother’s? He even imagined how his soul guide would lead him to his fated one. But after seeing how the death of a soulmate and soul guide brought continued anguish to his father, even after years of their passing, he fears how it would affect him, if it happens to him—when it happens to him. That was when he made a quiet vow: to seek neither love, nor a soulmate. Spirits be damned; he won’t seek for their so-called blessing. It’s a curse.
Even as he grew older, soulmates left a bitter taste in his mouth. Even more so when he was in ANBU. For some reason, he thought these specialized shinobi didn’t need the companionship that soulmates brought. He stood corrected the moment he saw the number of soul guides that littered the compound. He even overheard a teammate talk about his soulmate, singing their praises while their soul guide tweeted excitedly as if mimicking their owner’s adoration. His nose scrunched beneath his mask at the obvious display of love and bonds. You’d think that with a group known for their stealth and ruthlessness, they wouldn’t bother showing off their soul guides or talking about soulmates—lest their identities be exposed or their soulmates used against them.
By the time Kakashi left ANBU, things clicked in his head. Realizations that made him pause and think. He guesses that maybe a deep connection with someone is what is needed to keep them grounded, something different from just flings or one-night stands. Even with the difficult lives they live, they are still human, after all. Although, he still questioned it. ANBU live their days without knowing if they’d be alive the next day, fighting for constant survival. You’d have to be either shameless or stupid to subject your soulmate to such anguish and pain when you die. Anyway, what they choose to do is no longer his business. As long as they do their job, that’s all that matters. In the end, he was never someone meant to belong to another.
As he lived through his life, a soulmate or a soul guide wasn’t at the forefront of his mind. Not only because he never wanted one, but because of the unpredictable world they lived in. The threats, the instability of various situations—it posed as a threat to everything. He’s busy enough just trying to not die, let alone worry about the well-being of a soulmate. Not only that, but his life never had an opening for one (if he even wanted one). He was tasked on missions almost every day of his life by the Hokage knowing that he’s the only one who could accomplish them with ease. And with his mental state, seeking for a soulmate would just ruin them both in the long run. Better to let them save themselves from him during the worst parts of his life.
There’s peace (for now), which means he can finally go find the guidance of a soul guide. But he doesn’t want to. Sitting now as the Rokudaime, he’s preoccupied more than ever. Aside from his responsibilities, he thinks that his soul guide must’ve given up on him and was passed onto another soul who’s actually willing to look for their soulmate. He will admit that his outlook changed for the better in regard to soul guides, soulmates, and romance altogether. Still, it’s not for him—not in the near future or anywhere near this timeline.
Kakashi doesn’t even know what put him back into this line of thinking. Maybe it was the fact that he’s recently seen his former students finding their fated ones. He was happy for them, truly, and he wishes for their continued happiness. He wonders how his more innocent and childish self would’ve felt after knowing he never sought out his soulmate—crushed, disappointed, only to sulk and berate him for such a behavior. He would’ve rolled his eyes at himself if that were the case. Well, glad that’s not something that could happen to him, so he’s stuck with the indifferent thoughts in his head.
He left the Hokage tower that day after running away from Shikamaru and his other responsibilities. To be fair, he lasted longer than he did the day before, so Shikamaru should be glad that he did some work before disappearing on him. He was thinking of what to make for dinner when a dog’s incessant barking interrupted him from his thoughts. When he looked by his feet, he was met with a medium-sized fluffball. Its fluffy, white hair reminded him of clouds on a good day, probably even soft to the touch. Its tail was wagging excitedly, leaning down on its front paws as if asking Kakashi to play.
He clicked his tongue. What owner would let their dog run around free without a leash or a collar? At Kakashi’s inaction, its impatience showed with its bared teeth and tiny bark. It nibbled at Kakashi’s toes, causing him to yelp and jump back at the unexpected behavior. Kakashi scowled, flicking his wrist at the dog to make it go away. It didn’t seem to understand as it barked and jumped from side to side. He took another two minutes trying to get the dog to leave with loud stomps of his foot, thinking it would scare the dog away. He’s tried shooing it away as if it was a stray cat eating at his plants. It didn’t seem to work, so he’s decided to let it be. If it’s lost, his owners would try to look for it; maybe it would even go back home on its own.
It seemed ignoring the dog and walking away was the best option when he heard the dog cry and whine. When he looked back, it was gone, probably going back to where it belonged. Kakashi almost tripped over the thing by his feet when he turned back around. Would it be a blessing or a curse to have animals flock to him, as if he were some magnet attracting them all? At least this one was a familiar face, or rather furry face: it was Iruka’s cat, Daifuku. The brown patches on its face covered both her eyes like an eyepatch, leaving her snout white, drawing people’s attention to her pink nose. She was mostly out and about, remembering Iruka say she liked her walk and alone time. He’d mostly see her at the Hokage tower, however; maybe she would look for Iruka? She meowed at him, blinking slowly. He may not be a cat person but he can’t deny she was cute. He kneeled down to pet her and she purred affectionately, stretching her body higher when his hand drew farther away, moving even closer towards him while doing so.
It was the call of her name that startled both Kakashi and the cat. The moment she heard his name, she let out a meow akin to a cry. He startled; he didn’t hurt her, did he? Not wanting to be blamed for anything related to the cat, he stood up after giving her a last pat on her head. Its wailing cries continued, reminding Kakashi of a child crying for its mother. He was far enough that the crying cat was merely a background noise, mixing in with the bustle of the village. He heard Iruka’s voice calling for his cat once more, but this time the cat’s cries ceased. He looked back to see Iruka cradling his cat. As if sensing his presence, the cat looked in his direction, and she immediately started her tortured mewling once more. He’s starting to think the cat hates him…
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Iruka’s frantic concern was audible from where he currently was.
Not wanting to be perceived or blamed for the cat’s behavior, he jumped over to the nearest roof with the speed of a shinobi on the run. He didn’t hear anymore of Iruka’s concern or the cat’s meowing after he’s created more distance within a few seconds. For some reason, that tired him out than usual. He’s just eager to get back to the safety of his own home where he won’t be bothered by random animals.
His dinner was uneventful, his Icha Icha book the only thing that kept him company. Today was tiring and out of routine. He wasn’t used to such excitement like he once was. He needs a break tomorrow. Maybe he’d work for an hour and do his rounds around the village. That was better than being cooped up in the tower for hours and hours. As the day slowly turned into night, he felt the fatigue settle deep into his body. He fell onto his bed with a thump, Icha Icha book pressed close to his chest. But his thoughts were busy with ideas he thought he had locked deep within his mind. As he lay there in the dark, the weight of the cat’s gaze still lingering in his memory, he wondered—not for the first time—what it would’ve been like to meet his guide sooner.
His fingers curled around the worn edge of his book.
Iruka seemed to have a soul guide.
Kakashi closed his eyes.
Maybe I’m just not meant for one.