Accepting myself
N/A: The fourth war does not happen, Naruto knows his heritage as do Tsunade, Shizune, Jiraya and Kakashi, until a year or two after the fall of Akatsuki. However, he does not live in his parents' house so as not to feel so alone.
Naruto held his breath, unable to believe what he was seeing.
He'd been looking for some jutsu scrolls for wind and water techniques, which had definitely taken more time than it should have, when he found some Uzumaki clan fuinjutsu scrolls. He hadn't recognized some of those books and had read them just to make sure he was informed. It shouldn't have been a big deal; he'd always done this, ever since he'd moved into his parents' house, whenever he found something new that might endear him to them. But this time, he found something new.
He found a book by his father, titled "Asexual," with the Namikaze logo below the title. He began reading it.
He'd never really understood the whole "sex" thing. Of course, he had the old pervert as a sensei who was the writer of those orange novels that all men seem to love.
He was a boy who loved his precious people—he'd probably melt if Sakura kissed him. But he'd never wanted to go much further than that, even if he loved the idea of being a father and having his own family someday. But he never knew he didn't have to.
He sat down, still processing. "Hey Kurama, what do you think?"
Kurama stirred from his sleep, using his container's senses to observe the book in his hands with a thoughtful growl. "What do you mean, kit?"
"I've never heard of asexual before, I…" He stared at the book in his hands as if it might disappear if he looked away for even a moment. He didn't really know what to think. "Do I think I could be that? I mean, I don't know yet, and I don't want to say I am if I'm not, but…"
"Oh, gaki," Kurama laughed heartily from his container as he rolled over. "I've been alive for many decades, no wonder you say that. Your father's kit was just like you in that regard."
"Seriously, that's... Wow. Did anyone know that?"
“Kushina, I knew it.”
“Yeah, but apart from my mother.”
“No,” Kurama replied easily, “he didn’t tell anyone, after all, he was the apprentice of a super pervert, who would have believed him?” He heard his container humming in his notebook. Suddenly the fox comments “Listen gaki, as much as I don’t like it, I feel somewhere very, very deep that I should tell you that if someone tells you they want to have sex and you don’t, then tell them that your mother threatened to come back from the dead to have a few words, and believe me kit, you don’t want to see the bloody Havana woman in that state. If you don’t want sex, then you don’t want sex.” Just my luck, first caught between two women, the first more interested in stamps, the other a crazy woman with a sword in love with a sissy, and now a gaki kit just like his father’s gaki kit, Kurama thought with teary eyes.
While that was happening inside the id, Naruto turned back to the book, studying it closely. He couldn't be sure yet; he'd have to do more research before telling anyone. But something felt strangely right about it.
Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, son of Yellow Lightning and Bloody Havana, jinchuriki of the Kyubi no Yoko. Asexual.
Xxxxx
It had been almost five months since Akatsuki was defeated and Sasuke returned to the village, with several broken bones, Naruto was happy. He had kept his promise to Sakura by returning to Sasuke; who was judged and sentenced to live with a chakra blocking seal along with seals for the sharingan; at that moment Hinata revealed her feelings to him; Naruto decided to let Sakura go since she would never reciprocate; and they had been dating for a month. They had gone to a few restaurants, a carnival and a handful of training sessions. Everything felt peaceful and joyful.
He smiled to himself as he stirred the noodles in the pot in front of him.
“Naruto, I have a question for you.”
"Sure, what's up Hinata-chan?"
"Well, we've been together for a while," Hinata began, standing behind him as she spread butter on the bread he'd bought. Lee, Neji, and Tenten were coming over for dinner tonight; Naruto's apartment was the meeting place, and Hinata had volunteered to help him. "And I know when we first got together, you said you didn't want sex. But I think we're past the waiting period, don't you?"
Naruto frowned in confusion, looking at her. His eyes were serious, though his demeanor was rather indifferent. "Hinata, I told you I don't want sex at all."
"What?" She turned away from him now, placing plates on the navy blue tablecloth.
"I don't want sex at all," Naruto explained easily, returning to the task at hand. He didn't need the water to boil; Lee, Neji, and Tenten should be here any moment.
"Everyone wants sex."
"I don't."
"You're just confused," Hinata replied, looking back with a pitying smile. "We can take it easy. It's not that scary, I promise."
Naruto frowned and turned down the stove to face him. "I'm not scared, I'm just not interested in sex, Hinata."
“Come on, Naruto-kun. You have to be willing to commit, and you can’t just put it off.” Her voice was more irritated now, making his shoulders rise in surprise. “I’ve waited patiently for you! But if you don’t commit to us…”
"I'm engaged!" Naruto exclaimed, raising his voice to match Hinata's. "Were you just with me for the idea of having sex someday?"
"Everyone has sex, Naruto-"
"Not everyone," he snapped, unable to contain his fury as his hands shook. He'd spent too much time questioning himself, too much time lying down and not defending himself. "Asexuals do exist, Hyuuga."
She stepped forward to grab his arm as he tried to back away, accidentally activating his Byakugan. Her grip on his forearm was a little too tight for comfort. Neither of them noticed the door open behind her. "Naruto, what's the difference between being in a relationship and just being friends if you don't have sex?"
"Maybe the fact that we love each other, or that we're supposed to anyway."
He frowned at him, trying to free his arm from her grasp. "And if you don't see that, then maybe we shouldn't be together."
He staggered back as if slapped. His grip on her arm loosened in shock, leaving marks as the Hyuuga's grasp was imbued with chakra.
"Maybe we shouldn't be if you're going to be so selfish."
And then he was gone, his arm still aching slightly from where she'd grabbed him in her anger. "Naruto-kun?"
Lee asked hesitantly as he walked toward him carefully. "Naruto, I'm so sorry."
He didn't respond, too busy staring at the door in shock. He couldn't have left. He couldn't just…walk away.
She separated from him.
xxxxx
"Jade, wait!"
Naruto looked back for a moment before being knocked down. Suddenly, he found himself lying in the sand beneath a really large weasel. Blinking in surprise, Naruto laughed before scratching the side of the animal's head. The weasel let him pet it a bit, licking the side of his face.
"Jade… Oh, I'm so sorry, Naruto."
Naruto looked at Temari, who was taking Jade from him and carrying her instead. "She's fine. She's very friendly."
Temari just grumbled, reaching out to help her up without looking. "Yeah, he gets too excited sometimes."
I quickly help him up, and suddenly Naruto finds himself face to face with deep aquamarine eyes. They stay like that for a moment before he steps back a little. "How are things around here, Temari? I didn't know you had a pet, by the way."
"Oh, I don't. Jade is part of my summons. Chief asked me to train with him, but it didn't go as well as we expected." She sighed at the end, and Naruto wondered what she was thinking. She was obviously thinking of something interesting if the intense look in her eyes was anything to go by. "What are you doing in Suna?"
“Yeah, well, I requested a village transfer, so I moved here a week ago. I’m now a Sunakagure shinobi serving Gaara as the Godaime Kazekage.”
He hummed, adjusting his grip on Jade before straightening. “I wouldn't mind showing you around if you'd like.”
"I," Naruto hesitated for a moment, feeling anxious. Which was ridiculous because he trusted Temari. "I wouldn't want to impose."
Temari laughed at the blond's strange shyness. "Please, I insist. I could use a break. In fact, once I'm done with the tour, you can come have dinner with us."
He smiled, hoping for the best. "I'd like that, Temari."
Xxxxx
"Temari, can I ask you a potentially awkward question?"
"Of course, Whiskers," Temari replied easily, not bothering to look up from her report. He stood before her, perfectly still as he held his own report in front of him. It had been five months since she moved to another village, and they'd grown quite close in that time. He was confident enough to say he could love her a little, just as she'd made it clear she loved him.
But neither of them had officially asked the other out yet. They hadn't told Gaara or Kankuro, much less their valued people in Konoha, but he found himself trusting her more than anyone else he'd met in Suna, aside from Gaara.
That didn't make the upcoming conversation any easier. "Have you ever heard the term asexual before?"
Temari paused for a moment, looked at him, and focused her gaze on his cheeks. He knew she was studying his whiskers; she liked them a lot, so he didn't speak until she looked back at her report.
"No, actually, what's a mustache?"
"It's a term for someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction." He felt his throat dry, studying her as he worked.
"Oh okay."
There was silence for a moment, and Naruto wondered if he understood what he was saying. Maybe he needed to be more specific?
"I... I'm asexual, Temari."
"Okay," he replied, continuing with his report. Naruto always liked how passionate Temari was about the tasks at hand. But still, he couldn't help but wonder if she was listening; he'd never been one to get distracted. But this conversation had never been easy; even Tsunade and Shizune tended to talk more about it. Was it supposed to be that easy?
"Are... are you okay with that?"
"I mean, I don't see why it would matter whether you were or not," she noted. "It's your decision, and I'm not even sure how I feel about the matter in any case."
Now she looked him in the eye, making it perfectly clear that she was focused solely on him. “I’m not interested in you for your sex, mustache. You’re very cute, but I’m much more interested in your mind and your heart. You shouldn’t let anyone make you feel insecure about being yourself.”
Naruto looked into her eyes, fighting the lump in his throat. What had he done to deserve her? "I-"
She blinked, letting her eyes remain closed against tears for a moment before opening them with a small smile. "Thank you, Temari-hime."
"Because?"
"For accepting me."