If the competitive flame above her head was real, it would’ve been big and hot enough to burn an entire forest ablaze in mere seconds.
Jihyo’s skin tingles with all the adrenaline rushing through her veins, a victorious string of giggles leaving her lips, as she excitedly pulls out her mic pack to hand over to her manager. It's only a game, but TTTs and getting to win them always fills her with a rush of unparalleled glee strong enough to make her lightheaded.
She's always been competitive, even at the simplest of games—a trait that she tries hard to keep in check in the presence of people she isn't close with—sometimes leading her to be too much for those who aren't used to her. But with Twice, the girls who enjoy teasing her like there's no tomorrow and love her with all their hearts, she can let herself be unbridled and be as competitive as she wants. They also let her gloat about her win as hard as she can, and she's only met with revering eyes from the maknaes, gentle smiles from the middle line, and a string of teases from the unnies(and a bit of encouragement to be more shameless from Nayeon).
Today, she manages to come out as the victor of the TTT Rank Battle, somehow managing to counter the also competitive Im Nayeon’s tactics of pulling her rank down.
So she gloats.
She heads to the refreshments table behind all the cameras, with a skip in her step, happily helping herself to some snacks. She finds a seat near one of their PD-nims, one that gives her a clear view of the members in the higher ranks, and she settles in. She catches 4th place Jeongyeon and 3rd place Mina looking at her, and she sticks her tongue out at them. She sees Jeongyeon roll her eyes and flip her off while Mina only smiles and looks at her with an amused twinkle in her eyes. Satisfied with their reactions, Jihyo leans back in her seat and watches as the cameras begin rolling again.
This game is by far the best ttt ever and winning it feels so good, and so is teasing the members about it.
She's supposed to be allowed to get off of work early—it's one of the prizes that comes with getting the top rank—but she opts to stay. She wants to see how the rest of the game goes, thoroughly entertained by its unpredictability, and she's filled with curiosity as to how the members would rank themselves again. Besides, she has no other schedule for the day and she's feeling a bit lazy to hit the gym and being idle at home makes her feel guilty, so staying in the studio and watching the girls keep on playing monitoring the filming, seems to be the perfect option for her.
Jihyo soon winds up at the lower floors where the other members are placed, curious to see how they are faring and to tease them with their low positions. She stays there for the rest of her monitoring, conscious about the fact that she's staring at and rooting for Momo most of the time. Can you blame me? She says to no one but herself, it’s Hirai’s fault for looking adorable when she's all whiny and messing around.
The game ends spectacularly. Tzuyu manages to get the second spot, followed by Dahyun. Top ranker Chaeyoung had fallen to the fifth spot and Nayeon had managed to pull Jeongyeon and Sana to the sixth and eighth spots respectively. Mina falls down only one rank, looking satisfied about managing to recover from falling down to the last spot earlier. Big peach Nayeon, despite her best efforts, is in seventh place, while little peach Momo got last place… again.
The game ends, and the rest of the girls start heading out of the studio to go home or tend to personal schedules. They say their goodbyes to Jihyo who stayed a bit longer to chat with the manager and to Momo who has to do her punishment before she's able to go home.
“I have to clean up everything?” The traces of disbelief and disappointment in Momo’s tone catches Jihyo's attention.
“You also have to make a closing remark, Hirai-ssi.” The director says. “To thank the fans and tell them that there will be another TTT soon.”
“I can help you, Momo.” Jihyo finds herself volunteering. There is something in the way Momo is standing and the way her eyes look more zoned out than usual that makes her worry. “If you want me to.”
“Are you sure, Jihyo?” Momo asks, “You don't really have to do this since you are the one who won.”
“It's alright. It's just a little bit of cleaning up and saying a few words. It's no big deal.” She smiles at Momo who clearly looks relieved at having someone else to do it with. “Besides, I think the fans would love it. They've been bombarding my Bubble with hundreds of you related requests daily, so might as well give them what they want.”
“Thanks.” Momo says shyly. There's a soft dusting of pink on her cheeks but Jihyo chalks it up as an effect of the warm spotlights.
“Don't mention it, Momo-yah. I’m more than happy to help.”
They finish cleaning significantly faster than the time it would've taken up had Momo done it alone, crawling under desks and sofas to pick up pieces of the rubik’s cubes that most of them had dismantled. With all the tidying taken care of, all that's left for the two of them to do is give a little speech to close the TTT season well.
“You don't have your mic pack anymore,” the manager reminds her, looking around to ask the sound crew for a spare microphone.
“Momo and I can just share,” Jihyo suggests as she helps Momo remove the mic clipped on her shirt so the two of them can hold it instead. “Are you ready, Momo-yah?”
Momo nods her affirmative, standing closer to Jihyo so the little microphone can get both of their voices better. “You go first, Jihyo-yah.”
Jihyo waits for the director's signal, putting on a big smile on her face when she gets her cue. “Today was a chaotic day, but we all had fun competing with everyone.” She pauses and waits for Momo to continue.
“I hope you had as much fun as we did, and stay tuned for more wonderful things that we have filmed for all of you.” Momo says with a bright smile and her nose scrunched adorably, “Time to…”
“Twice!” they both say in unison, instinctively meeting their hands in the middle to form a heart.
“Okay, cut!” The director says, and gives them a wave to say they're free to go.
Jihyo grins and was about to high five Momo when she notices the slight change in the woman’s posture as soon as the spotlights turned off. “Momo-yah,” she calls out softly, rushing to walk alongside her friend. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” Momo says weakly, her demeanor vastly different from the all smiles and bright eyes she had shown in front of the cameras. Her gaze looks so far away, like she's lost in thought again—and it doesn't escape Jihyo’s attention that she's biting her lip, an obvious tell that Momo is troubled.
Jihyo wants to ask what the matter is, but she knows well enough that it's better to let Momo work at her own pace, so she tries something else instead. “Let me drive you home, Momo.” she offers as the two of them head back to the makeup room to gather their things. “We could stop by somewhere for dinner too, if you want. There's a cool restaurant on the route to your place, and I’ve been dying to go.”
“Sure.” Momo answers with a faint smile tugging on the corners of her lips, but her voice lacks the excited cadence she gets whenever they talk about food. She does attempt to joke around though, something that makes Jihyo worry a little bit less. “You’re letting me use that pretty little black card of yours, right?”
The surprised laugh that comes out of Jihyo's lips is loud. The question catches her off guard, but she's more than happy to know that Momo isn't too upset to abstain from being silly. “You're planning on draining my bank account for food, aren't you?”
“Maybe.”
The car ride to the restaurant is quiet. They're not as awkward as they used to be a couple of years back when it's just the two of them together(courtesy of 2yeon’s relentless teasing), but tonight a bit of that awkward tension returns and looms over them again. Momo had shrunk into herself as soon as they got inside Jihyo's car, looking like she was letting herself drown in her own thoughts once more.
Jihyo knows Momo is upset, but she doesn't know how to address it—not when Momo won't voluntarily tell her what's troubling her—and she often sucks at initiating small talk with Momo so she ends up just weirdly glancing at the woman on her passenger seat every now and then. She tries to talk, wanting to fill the small space of her car with light chatter to keep Momo occupied with something else, but no words would tumble out of her mouth at every attempt—she just ends up looking like a dumb guppy, opening and closing her mouth without uttering a single word.
“Jihyo,” it's Momo who ends up cutting through the silence a few minutes into their car ride, nervously fiddling with her fingers. “I have a question.” her tone is soft, almost begging. As if she's bothered and unsure of herself.
“Ask away, Momo-yah.” Jihyo’s voice is reassuring and she matches the softness of Momo's tone to show her friend that she's more than welcome to ask anything. “I’m all ears for you.”
“Do you think… do you really think—realistically am I really at the bottom of our group?” Momo’s voice cracks as she asks it. “You can tell me the truth. I just want to know.”
The question and the sadness in Momo's voice feels like a swift punch to the gut. Jihyo whips her head to her right to steal a look at Momo and her heart breaks when she sees how small her friend had made herself look on the passenger seat, shoulders hunched and eyes downcast.
Jihyo doesn't answer immediately, quickly maneuvering her car to a stop at a nearby parking lot, before she opens her mouth. This matter needs her entire attention. “Momo, look at me.” She says gently but with an air of authority. “Is it because of the game earlier?”
Momo nods weakly. “Just tell me the truth, Zyo.”
Jihyo reaches forward to clasp Momo’s hand in hers, looking straight into Momo's eyes. “The result of the game earlier is nothing but an outcome of a silly little contest between all of us. None of it is fact, Momo-yah.” she assures. “You are amazing and wonderful, remember that.”
“But they were right. I am not as vocal about my opinions as the rest of them and I make a lot of mistakes. The rankings—”
“Aren’t real. It was just part of a game. It was just us teasing, it had no actual valid metric.” Jihyo gives Momo a gentle squeeze. “We all aren't perfect—we're only human—we have things we're better at than everyone else and there are some where we're only average at but it’s normal. It would be stupid and unfair to rank ourselves like that and take it as gospel. Remember that we’re a team, Momo-yah, we compliment each other and have each other's backs. We're all equals, we bring so many different things into our group in our own ways. Twice won't be the team we are today without you. You are important to us… you are important to me. And I am sorry, truly, that we made you feel bad. That was never in our intentions, had I known I would've put a stop to it—”
“I’ve been in that same spot ever since our debut. I have grown to accept it, but I cannot lie, it still does sting. Everyone knows it's always hard for me to focus, it takes me a while to understand a lot of things and I am not the best at—”
“Hirai Momo, listen to me and listen well. You are sweet, kind, smart, talented, and beyond amazing. Do you know how much I rely on you? A lot, Momo-yah.” The words spill out of Jihyo’s mouth so easily now, the only thing she wants to do is to cheer Momo up. “If only you knew how much I need you. You give me strength. When we perform, when I feel so tired and my lungs are about to burst from the effort, all it takes is one look at you dancing so hard in front of me and I have the energy to go on. And when you dance, when you break down our choreographies, it makes me want to take a peek inside your mind and see how you're able to come up and execute those wonderful ideas of yours.”
Jihyo isn't used to talks like these and she knows she's starting to ramble a bit aimlessly. And it's not that she's entirely incapable, she has had her fair share of having deep conversations with the members throughout the years, but searching for the perfect words to say has always been more of Nayeon and Dahyun’s forte. And although she is known to often wear her heart out on her sleeve, this situation is wholly different. She's used to showing her feelings through her actions, through expressions—to be voluntarily pouring her soul out in words is making her feel too exposed—but she allows herself to lower her guard even more. Her feelings and worries are definitely not as scary as the fears and doubts running through Momo’s mind tonight.
“Really?” There’s a hopeful glimmer in Momo’s eyes now as she looks up at Jihyo, clearly savoring the words that she hears from her lips. “Is that really so?”
Jihyo smiles and gives Momo a nod to say yes. “You amaze me, Hirai-ssi. I’ve learned a lot from you over the years, you’ve helped me overcome a lot of things, and you… inspired me to do better more times than you can even imagine.”
To hear sweet Momo, who faces the world with all smiles and a heart full of innocence, talking with insecurity saturated in her words feels like there's a knife forced up into her ribcage. She feels a tad guilty about how she had taken delight in rubbing her win in all the members' faces without knowing that the game had hurt someone' feelings. There is nothing else Jihyo wants more in the world right now than to protect and reassure Momo. “Momo-yah, don't tell anyone but you're my favorite, don’t believe the rankings from the game earlier. I, for one, think you're the absolute best, and I can't imagine my life as Twice’s Jihyo—as Park Jihyo—without your wonderful presence in my life. You matter the world to me. I need you and I… love you, Hirai Momo. With all my heart.”
Perhaps tonight isn't the right time for confessions, but she has blurted the words out already. There's no way for her to rewind time and take it back—besides, it is but the truth.
There’s a long silence that falls upon them again, and Jihyo wonders if it would've been better for her to have kept her mouth shut. A wave of regret hits her when she sees Momo's eyes starting to well up with tears. She starts wracking her mind to look for the appropriate apology, but the words she’s thinking of vanish before it even reaches the tip of her tongue…
Because Momo's lips are on hers.
It's not exactly a kiss, but it's more than a peck—a lip crash would probably be the better term to describe it—and it’s over before Jihyo can fully realize what’s going on. But when she does, she feels sparks fly in her chest and she thinks it's a shame that it was only brief.
“I’m so sorry.” Momo looks like she herself did not anticipate her own actions, her expression completely contrite. She's blushing red from the neck up, Jihyo notices with the help of a distant street lamp’s glow. She's so cute. “Jihyo, I don't know what came over me. You were saying so many kind words and I didn't know how to react and I just moved without thinking and—I am so sorry, Jihyo-yah.”
“There's no need for you to apologize.”
“Oh, but there is.” Momo looks devastated now, burying her face in the palm of her hands. “I got carried away and I kissed you without asking, and I know you meant what you said platonically—”
“Whoa, don't go putting words into my mouth, Momo-yah.” Jihyo hesitates a little, still unsure if she should say it even louder, but she already has spilled a bit of the truth—might as well pour everything out now. “I know I said a lot of things tonight but I never said or implied that .”
“What?”
“I didn't say I loved you only as a friend. I never said that.”
“But we're friends aren't we?”
“Of course we are.” There's a merry sound that comes from Jihyo, surprisingly she's enjoying this. “But I also love you… even more than that. And I have been feeling this way for a while now.” She confesses with her entire chest.
“So, let me get this straight.” Momo nervously squirms in her seat and Jihyo can see the cogs turning in her head. “If… if I asked you for another kiss, you’d say yes? If I kissed you again, you’d kiss me back?”
“Why don't you see for yourself?” Jihyo whispers as she leans in to take Momo’s lips in hers.
It's a kiss now. It's thekiss. Jihyo can feel her heart beating so fast in her chest and hears its loud drumming in her ears as Momo kisses her senseless. The kiss is gentle and careful as Momo leads them, but Jihyo is ever so impatient and competitive that she takes the reins from Momo and deepens it. There's a surprised moan that rolls out from Momo's tongue but she doesn't stop, quickly adjusting herself to chase after Jihyo's preferred rhythm.
It's the best kiss Jihyo has ever had the pleasure of having. Momo with her tender eagerness and Jihyo with her intense desire to show Momo more of the feelings that she couldn't put to words—they're beyond perfect.
It's a dance. One takes two steps forward when the other tries to step back, giving way or holding back depending on whoever manages to take the lead. The kiss ends with the two of them out of breath, with their cheeks flushed and lipsticks smudged. Jihyo feels her skin tingling again, this time from the dopamine in her system. The feeling is so strong that she feels as if she’s about to combust.
“You kissed me.” Momo points out the obvious. “ You kissed me? And did you say you like me?”
“Yes, I did kiss you. And no, I didn't say I liked you, I said I love you. There's a pretty big difference.”
“Really?” Momo says, reaching over to pinch Jihyo on the cheek.
“Ow! What was that for?” Jihyo tries to feign annoyance but she's pretty sure the wide smile on her face gives her away.
“Just making sure this is real.”
“Want me to kiss you again so you can confirm?” Jihyo is unsure where all this confidence is coming from, but she likes it. And she likes the way it makes Momo blush even more. “Because I am not opposed to it—”
Jihyo's teasing is interrupted by the sound of a rumbling stomach, followed by Momo who shoots her an embarrassed look. “Don't laugh.”
Jihyo laughs.
It's loud and jolly and it fills every nook and cranny of her car. The space feels lighter and calmer now in contrast to how it was a few moments ago. “Let's go get that dinner I promised you earlier.”
She starts driving again to take them to the restaurant, insisting on holding Momo's hand for moral support .
The restaurant Jihyo chose is packed, a long queue forming around the block. Lucky for them, they could use their celebrity status there to pull a few strings, and before they knew it they’re about to be seated at one of the establishments' more private dining areas.
“I want to sit beside you.” Jihyo says shyly. Momo scoots over immediately, letting Jihyo slide into the spot next to her.
They chatted about anything and everything throughout the entire dinner, conversations easily flowing between the two of them. Jihyo is extra attentive the entire time, putting food on Momo's plate before she even asks, giving her a bite of her own food, and going as far as feeding Momo with her own spoon that hilariously left them both blushing and embarrassed when they realized the cliche.
“I think this is the best date I've ever been on.” Momo exclaims out of the blue as they’re finishing their dessert.
“So this is a date?” Jihyo feels smug, a part of her wants to revel in it—to perhaps call a member and tell them about it—but she decides that it would be better to keep Momo all to herself for tonight.
“Yup,” Momo leans to give Jihyo a peck. “Because I said so.” She says and swoops in for another kiss.
“It's late. You should stay the night, Jihyo.” Momo offers just as Jihyo is about to drop her off in front of her apartment building. “My bed is big enough for the two of us.”
Jihyo raises a brow, unsure yet if she is to take the offer. “Are you sure it's alright with you?”
“Come on, Zyo, why wouldn't it be? It's not like we haven't had our hand at sharing rooms and beds before.”
“But it's different now.” Jihyo blushes for the nth time that night, a smirk forming on her lips.
“Why? Because we found out about how we like each other?” Momo laughs and looks at her lovingly. It’s fond and unadulterated and it makes Jihyo want to melt into a blushing mess on the floor. “I promise I won't bite. You'll be fine with me.”
“You won't but I might.”
“Park Jihyo!”
“What? I was just being honest.” She breaks into a wide grin while Momo shakes her head in resignation beside her.
Jihyo ends up accepting Momo’s offer and finds herself in Momo’s bed, in Momo’s clothes, and cuddling with Boo and Dobby.
“Jihyo, I know I asked you this about a hundred times now, but did you really mean everything you said tonight?” Momo asks as she watches the happy scene before her. “I just want to make sure.”
“Every single word of it.” Jihyo says softly, moving closer to Momo so they too could cuddle. “You are what I said you are and more, Hirai. You’re talented, lovely, and one of a kind. And I love you. I hope you remember it always.”
“Will you remind me of that if I ever forget?” Momo asks with a yawn as she slowly gives in to the call of sleep.
“Every second of every day.” Jihyo whispers.
It takes Jihyo a while to follow suit, her mind still racing from all the excitement of everything that unfolded in a span of less than twelve hours. An overwhelming surge of happiness washes over her as she observes the steady rise and fall of Momo’s chest, who is sleeping soundly in her arms. The day was a roller coaster ride, and she’s more than glad that it ended on a happier note.
Jihyo is happy—beyond ecstatic and grateful for everything—and if the fire that had begun to burn in her heart after the events of tonight is something more than metaphorical, it could burn strong, steady, and hot enough to keep her and Momo warm for many lifetimes to come.