Make My Wish Come True
It was early Christmas morning when Joan came down the stairs from her bedroom and went straight into the living room. She was just wearing socks on her feet, which she normally wouldn‘t do despite the fact that she had just cleaned the floor a day ago. But she was afraid that she would wake up the beautiful woman that was fast asleep on her couch and so she left her slippers upstairs.
She looked around her living room. It was decorated with candles and christmas stuff and even a christmas tree. It was the first time since being an adult that Joan had something like that. She hadn‘t celebrated christmas since her mother died, her father just abandoned that tradition and she avoided thinking about it. She always took the opportunity to work during the holidays like she did with her birthdays and maybe that was one of the reasons she decided to take a job in a prison. But this year was different. It took her to almost lose Vera as an ally in the prison to realise two truths about herself that she had always denied. First: she actually liked christmas a lot and had missed it all those years and would have celebrated it if she had a woman by her side. And second: how much Vera meant to her, how much she truly cared.
All the disagreements and arguments they had some months ago and Joan‘s actions had pushed Vera away from her. Gone were their weekly debriefings in her office which had become more and more like a nice evening with her best friend than an actual meeting to talk about work related topics. They had made Joan realise how lonely she was and how much she enjoyed the younger woman‘s company, their conversations and her smile. They had grown very close during those times and suddenly all of this was slipping away. But gladly Joan decided to do the right thing and to fight for what was really worth it. She went to therapy, of course outside of the prision and not with Westnull and began to ask Vera for advice about running the prison and listend to her when she critizied her actions. This took a lot of her but in the end it brought her and Vera closer again and she regained her trust and loyality and even a close friendship.
Their debriefings continued until Joan finally worked up the courage to ask Vera to meet in her house instead of the office and so they regularly had dinner in each others houses like real friends. As christmas approached Joan admitted to herself that she wanted them to be more than friends and she made plans to spend christmas with Vera and make it special for her since she knew that Vera‘s christmasses hadn‘t been the happiest with her mother and that the holidays had always been as lonley for Vera as they had been for her.
The bright smile on Vera‘s face when she invited her had been the most beautiful thing Joan had ever seen and she had worked hard to make her living room into a cozy and inviting place for the younger woman. It smelled like fir and she really enjoyed that smell. It brought her an inner calm and peace that she wasn‘t used to. On christmas eve they had their usual dinner at Joan‘s house and Vera had asked her to watch some christmas movies afterwards to which Joan had agreed. These days she would do almost everything to spend more time with Vera. The last year had been hard for the smaller woman and although she and her mother didn‘t get along well, Vera was sad about her passing that had happend much faster than Vera had expected. One morning she just found her in her bed. Now that they finally had a few days without work and could relax Joan saw how tired and exhausted Vera was and it was no wonder she fell asleep with her head on Joan’s shoulder while watching the films.
When the last film ended Joan carefully stood up. She tenderly smilded down at her sleeping deputy and took the blanked they had covered their legs with and tucked her in. After placing a gentle kiss on the woman‘s cheek she went to bed. She would have preferred to take Vera to bed with her but she hadn‘t asked her out yet and they were still just friends. It was Joan‘s intention and biggest and only christmas wish to change that today.
Vera was still asleep and Joan silently turned on the lights of the christmas tree and placed a few gifts under it next to the small one Vera had put there the evening before. She hoped that Vera liked what she had bought for her and that she wasn’t overstepping a boundary. She decided to let her sleep a while longer, she needed the rest and went into the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast for them.
When she was done about an hour later she crouched down next to her couch and looked at Vera. A strand of her brown hair was covering part of her face and Joan gently stroked it behind her ear which made Vera stir. She blinked and was a little confused at where she was but then she recognised Joan and smiled.
“Good morning Vera.“ Joan said, smiling back at her. “I hope you slept well.“
“Good morning. I did. I… I‘m sorry a fell asleep. Why didn‘t you wake me up?“
“You were tired and it was late. I didn‘t want you to drive home being that exhausted and you would have come back this afternoon, anyway.“ Joan said. They had planned to cook dinner together but she was happy to have her here even earlier. Joan stood up. “And now come and have breakfast with me.“
Vera followed Joan into the kitchen where the table was already set and quiet christmas music was playing. She had prepared quiet the feast. There was a pot of coffee, a pot of tea, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, fruits and even pancakes. The table was decorated with fir branches and a christmas floral arrangement with a red candle. Vera blinked back tears and then looked at Joan. “You‘ve made all of this? For… for me?“ She asked incredolously.
Joan smiled and pulled a chair back for her. “Of course I did. I‘m happy that you are here and that we spent Christmas together.“
“I‘m glad too and thank you. No one has ever done something like that for me.“
“You deserve it Vera.“ She said while taking a seat at the head of the table. She took Vera‘s hand and traced her knuckles with her thumb. “You are special. To me.“
Vera shyly looked down at their joined hands but Joan could see that a smile was forming on her face. Finally she looked up with glassy eyes. “Your are special to me too.“ she whispered.
Joan cleared her throat. She wasn‘t used to situations like this and didn‘t know how to react. She reached for Vera‘s cup. “Coffee or tea?“ she asked.
They took their time to eat breakfast and talked about their childhoods and how christmas was for them back then. Finally they went back into the living room and Vera grabbed the present she brought for Joan and handed it over to her. “Open yours first.“ She said and smiled nervously.
Joan took the small box that was wrapped in shiney red giftwrap with a golden bow and opened it carfully. In it was a wooden box and she opend that too and took out a beautiful golden watch. She remembered that she had told Vera that she wanted to get a new one becaue hers was very old and she didn‘t like the style anymore. She wanted something bigger and more modern but classic at the same time and she thought that Vera had picket exactly the right one. She turned it around and saw that there was something engraved on the backside. It was a crown and around it were the words: Always with you, Vera.
Some months ago she had asked Vera about her loyality and doubted that it was with her and they never talked about this again, after they reconciled but she knew that this conversation was the reason for Vera‘s choice of words. Joan looked at her and smiled. “Thank you Vera, it is beautiful and very thoughtful of you. And I know now that your loyality lies with me.“
Vera smiled back at her. “Your are welcome.“ She was glad that she picked the right present and helped Joan to put the watch on. Then Joan stood up and gave her presents to Vera. Vera opend them and there was confusion on her face. Joan had gifted her two pyjamas and a pair of fluffy dark green slippers. She liked them but wondered why Joan gave her something like that. She had more than enough pyjamas at home and slippers too...
“They are… very nice. Thank you.“ she finally said and put them on the couch next to her.
“I guess you wonder why I… uhm… chose something like that.“ Joan stammerd and blushed. “They are not for you to take them home with you.“ She added and Vera was even more confused.
“But why…“
Joan took her hands and looked into her eyes and Vera noticed that the governors hands were trembling slightly. “Vera… I‘m more than happy that we have grown so close and I really value our friendship. But to be honest… It‘s not enough for me… I… I don‘t know how to do this… I would like it to have you here more often and maybe you could stay over night sometimes. That’s why I gave you these presents. You don‘t have to sleep on the couch… I have a nice big bed that we can share… Only if you want to, of course.“ Joan blushed even more and was embarresed that she was stumbling over her own words like that.
Vera‘s eyes widened. She was surprised by Joan‘s rambling but happily so. She also often thought about their friendship and wondered if it could become more than that. She squeezed Joan‘s hands reassuringly and smiled.
“I do want it. All of it.“ She said and leaned forward to place a tentative kiss on Joan‘s lips, hoping that she was doing the right thing and hadn’t completly misunderstood her. She pulled back a little bit to see Joan‘s reaction. The older woman seemed to be a little bit shocked as if she hadn‘t expected Vera to agree. Then she smiled brightly and cupped Vera‘s cheek to pull her closer and kiss her deeply. Vera wrapped her arms tightly around Joan and they kissed for a long while. Finally Joan pulled back.
“Merry Christmas, Vera.“ she said.
“Merry Christmas, Joan.“
They cuddled up on the couch together and watched even more christmas films. But they only paid little attention to them because they were kissing most of the time. Finally Joan got what she most wished for and Vera too. Finally Christmas wasn‘t a day of lonliness anymore. It became a day of love and happiness for both of them.