i'll leave (a light on)

The stage lights flash over Sirius's skin and the open air in the arena suddenly feels thin and muted. Performing under the bright eyes of hundreds of adoring fans with some of the best friends he's ever had: Peter, Marlene and Dorcas. He’s at the height of his career, the band has taken off, they're on the band's first international tour. It's everything he's always wanted. So Sirius should feel at the top of the world right now, should be happy but what is there to feel behind a mask you painted meant to show that you feel nothing?

I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

He looks into his lap and fiddles his thumbs just to do something, to work up the nerve to say what he came here to. Where do you find the courage to break a heart? "I can't do this anymore." He says it slowly but it still tastes sharp. Possibly finally more carves to skin than Sirius can take in a lifetime. "What do you mean?"

I wish you were a stranger, I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along

His lungs start to burn as his throat swells and voice rasps yet gorgeously compliments the song. The crowd's roaring seeps through his earpiece but he can still hear the buzzing. The annoying wasp of Walburga whispering in his ear when he was young and easily manipulated that pain was beauty; that they were one in the same. Sirius didn't feel beautiful with hot salty tears sparkling on his cheeks. It'd be twisted, he thinks, if anyone watching tonight would see a radiance in his silent heartache.

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head, over my head

"You know what I mean, Sirius." Barty was dancing around something Sirius didn't want to acknowledge so obviously he wasn't going to help. Crouch had to summon his own courage, Sirius barely had enough to be here, in this flat, suffocating. "I can't be with you. I know you see it, even worse you feel it and yet," Barty blows out a suffering sigh that leaves his chest caved in. "You let me stay; you let me hurt you."

Sirius winds a hand through his long curls and lifts his head to watch the ceiling fan spin around. "You're not hurting me, Bat." Crouch jumps onto his feet from where he's sat next to Sirius on the sofa.

"You're not just lying to yourself now, you're lying to me too. You know that we and lies never end well. Everytime you and I dance with a lie, we’ve ended up with memories better off buried."

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you, and it's effortless
Without a sound
We lose sight of the ground in the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down 'til we torch it ourselves

The crowd is still raging from the surprise song signifying the end of the concert. They're all screaming their hearts out, probably trying to embed this night into their minds; some happy memory to pull up on a bad day. Sirius never wants to remember this night. Doesn't want to ever recall this bareness; raw and defenseless.

Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my

"I can't just come over and pretend that being here and with you isn't eating at me, Sirius. I can't like this. I know I can’t.. I don’t know why I can’t just.. Be normal. I don’t know why I can’t be what you need and it’s like it’s numbing me but only on the outside. I feel cased in inadequacy because you’re the most important person to me. I claw myself apart and I don’t know why I can’t look at you the way you look at me and,” Barty’s eyes were bloodshot now, his eyes were rivers, it’s my fault." 

"If you knew that, why did you let it drag on for 5 months? Why did you let me believe I could have this? WHY DID YOU LIE?!" Sirius's voice grew louder and louder. With his rage came grief and more anger to disguise it.

"I didn't lie, Sirius, I told you from the moment this started that I didn’t know how. "

"You haven't said anything since! Was I wrong to think that maybe this was working?!"

"YES!"

With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind, she's on your mind

As the ending chords to the final song flew out the speakers surrounding the arena Sirius made his way to the platform that'll bring him beneath the stage. Away from the lights, the crowd, the pressure, the thinning air, the heat, the cheers but not the heartache.

The silence stretches for a buzzing moment, the anger and anxiety becoming something sombre and desolate. "Why now, Barty?"

Barty slides his arms around Sirius, unreciprocated because there's something in Sirius like a light switch gone off. A skill learned after years and years of having to hide everything he ever was in that wretched house. Hiding because no one could be trusted, no one except Regulus.

That number was bigger now. Now, it was no one except his little family. No one except Regulus, Mary, Marls and Cas, and Peter. And Barty, still. 

"My mother taught me a lot about love but I don't think I've ever really gotten the romance bit. Between the movies and the marriages and the loves and the lies it's so hard to even begin to tell what I'm supposed to be feeling." he sighs.

"I've known you since we were yay-high, Sirius" Barty holds his hands about half a meter off the ground smiling fondly. I always kind of thought we'd have a love like the novels and movies. We'd grow up and fall in love and it would be you and me, always. But we grew up and I can't love you like that even though I want to but trying to is eating at me and whether you see it or not, it's eating at you too."

Barty pulls away slowly, slipping his hands from Sirius' back down his arms then further down to hold his hands.

"I love you, Sirius. I always have, I always will but not the way you want. We can't love each other like this." Barty gets himself up to walk the little hallway to the front door but stops with his hand on the doorknob when he hears Sirius start talking again.

"Well you got what you wanted; a love like the movies. You asked for something fake and you got what you asked for." Sirius's voice echoes through the living room.

"I’m sorry I could never get it right. I tried and I’m sorry I couldn’t be what we wanted. I’m sorry you believed in me and I let you down. I’m sorry I was always almost and never there. " Barty utters as he leaves.

The click of the door locking is a changeless and unceasing echo in Sirius's mind like the ringing in his ears. That was nearly three months ago before he and the band had left on their All American tour.

He takes his final bow as the platform descends under the stage. He stares out in front of him at nothing in particular. Stays frozen until the platform stops completely. The walk to his dressing room is a blank memory. Along with every conversation along the way, unlocking his dressing room door. Doesn't remember standing in the doorway to closing the door behind him and leaning against it. Or the mechanic movements to switch out of costume into a big, comfy maroon sweater and soft black leggìngs. From the deep breaths to lying on the floor in the middle of the room was entirely of his subconscious.

Sirius hadn't clicked back into place yet. He was still insensate when Peter came in a short while later and lied next to him. They both watched the ceiling fan turn and tried to follow one of its blades before their eyes couldn't keep up anymore. Then listen to his pocket watch tick for what feels like forever. Sirius wonders what it would be like to have certainty in life. To know what was coming, when to move, what to do. Wishes he could just have something consistent but nothing seems to stick.

The only love that ever stuck was his family. Reggie, Andy, Peter, Mary, Marls, Cas and Minnie. There is, of course, Peter's very big, very Colombian family. Not to say Sirius doesn't have room in his life for love and romance but how much more heartache and heartbreaks can you take until you run out of heart?

"Sirius?" Peter whispers after a few minutes. Forever isn't a particularly long time anyway. When he gets no response he starts humming a familiar beat. It catches Sirius's attention which means it did its job. He can't quite pinpoint it and then it all falls into place and he starts to hum along.

"She ain't got no money,"

"Her clothes are kind of funny," Sirius scrunches his nose.

"Her hair is kinda wild and free." Peter goes on in a whisper then jumps to his feet and hauls Sirius up by his torso. Then twirls him around and ruffles his hair."Oh but love grows where my Rosemary goes," Sirius continues. "And nobody knows,"

"LI-i-i-Ike MeEee." Peter belts out before he changes out the final note for a screeching high pitch.

"Aagh, oh, stop! Stop! Please! I get it!" Sirius clamps a hand over Peter's mouth and he stops abruptly. It takes a good second for Peter to shut up but he eventually does. "If I let go-" Sirius glares at him head on. "Gross. Real mature." Peter's giggles behind his hand so Pads lets him go to wipe his hand off on Pete's face.

Prolonged eye contact.

The dressing room is silent while Peter slowly pulls something out his back pocket. They're in a staring contest so Sirius doesn't look to see what it is. That was before he was sprayed in the face with a mini water gun. "Down, Bessie."

Sirius wipes the liquid from his eyes but some gets in his mouth and it tastes.. strange. "Is this," he licks his upper lip and Peter raises a brow comically like he's crazy. "Why are you tasting it?" he asks through a laugh.

"Is this my fucking rice water?" he ends, his mouth hanging open. "What? Did you think I didn't know why your hair's so shiny?? With your incestuous bloodline you should be balding right now but," Peter scoffs and shakes the spray bottle. "Here we are."

Sirius wheezes out, "You motherfucker."

"Not yours though." He snips back quickly. Sirius runs his tongue across the line of his teeth and looks down at their feet. He looks up and accidentally makes eye contact. Peter shakes his head, "Not even for your Make a Wish.' before they both start cackling.

That's when Dorcas walks in to find Sirius curled up on the floor wheezing and Peter giggling with an arm against the wall. She scans the room for something but seems to come up short. "Are you guys high on helium again?" It has the opposite intended effect because it just makes them more manic. Hands on her hips she says, "Don't make me call Minnie." Marlene pops her head under Cas' arm to take a peek inside. "No! No, don't call Minnie," Peter gets out through his fit of giggles. "We're not on helium."

"Why's Black on the floor barking his left lung out then?" Marls asks, making her way on the floor next to him.

Sirius tries his best to wheeze through an explanation. "I called Petey a motherfucker and he said-"

"Not yours though." Peter adds while he slides down the wall. Dorcas hangs her head with a smile and Marlene absolutely loses it.

Sirius grips her by the thigh, wheezing for air. "Marley, Marls. He said he wouldn't shag Walburga if it was my last cancerous dying wish." Dorcas is hanging on by only her grip on the doorknob. Marlene snorts randomly which acts as the catalyst of their cackles. "You going to tell her how we got there?" Sirius stops laughing and channels his fiercest Walburga glare, "On my dying, laboured breath.

They then hear heels clicking down the corridor but it's freshly late because Minnie looms over Dorcas confusion painted on her face. "I don't think I want to know," she mutters, eyeing all of them. "Time to go, the clean up crew wants to get done and get home. Pack your things in and get moving. I haven't got the energy for a pissy Kingsley. He'll take that bus and leave without a moment's notice and you were lucky he didn't get far the last time."

The bus is gone. Sirius is at a gas station. Alone. In the dark. In Texas. He rings Pete. "Why are you calling me from inside the bus?" Peter says cautious and slow and Sirius chuckles awkwardly. "Oh my- Are you not on the bus?" He hears Peter yell for Minnie to turn the bus around. "Why are you not on the bus?!" Dorcas screeches from the phone. "I told Marls I had to pee!" He hears a tired sigh on the line in the background, probably Peter. Cas yawns, "Sirius, Marley was sleepwalking the entire time." He shrugs and says that he couldn't have known as the bus' headlights flood the street. The door slides out and he's met with an amused and smiling Kingsley, "I knew you weren't on the bus."

His mouth hangs open incredulously. "You bitch." Sirius mutters under his breath and Kingsley roars with laughter.

"Yeah. Lucky.”

Minnie watches them all pack in and file out before picking Sirius from the pack. "There's someone waiting for you on the bus."

He scrunches his brows together, "Is it our lawyer again? I swear it wasn't me this time and if it was I plead the fifth." Minnie stops them with a hand on his shoulder. 

"You are a citizen of the United Kingdom," she says, squinting. 

"A citizen in the United States of America, so I will be using their laws and I plead the fifth and will now be taking a vow of silence," he replies smoothly and continues walking out the building. Peter stops walking and waits for her to catch up. 

"Minnie," Pete whispers, "Want to make a bet?" 

McGonagall checks him top to bottom, "Let me hear it."

"We'll take guesses of how long it'll take for him to crack. Whoever's closer, timewise, wins. I say 20 minutes." Pete explains while they trail after Sirius and they both start a stopwatch.

"Six. What exactly are we betting?"

"I want to see what's in the locked box you keep in the drawer under the couch in the tour bus." Peter says it like he knows something or the curiosity has been eating at him. He shrugs, "I'll also take one item if it interests me."

Minerva's heels echo mutely on the concrete as they exit the building. She hums in agreement, "And when I win?" He thinks for a moment but draws a blank, "Anything you like, Minnie."

"A blank check is a dangerous game, Mister Pettigrew."

"Yeah, but it's you, what's the worst that can happen? I like to live on the edge a little and you wouldn't do wrong by me, would you, Minnie?"

"Nothing's concrete. You have yourself a deal." They shake hands and make their way outside to see Kingsley driving in ahead of them with the bus. They load in and not a moment later do they hear Sirius' surprised gasp. Then he starts rambling like a madman, making absolutely no sense but tangibly excited. Peter hears the strangled mutter of "I missed you too" before he realises he's already lost. He slowly turns his head to see Minnie holding up her phone stopped at 5:32. "I suppose I overestimated slightly. You won't be getting inside that box but you do owe me. I know you're a man of your word and if not... I'll call your mamá." Peter eyed her slowly head to heels and back, "You would, wouldn't you?That's low, Minnie." She grins like a cheshire and walks past him, heels clicking, "It's deliciously clever."

"Mm, I'm sure. Deliciously deceiving," he utters under his breath once she's gone. He makes his way over to where Sirius is wrapped tightly and rocking in place with an old friend. Peter smiles slowly and trudges over as Sirius reluctantly lets go. He wraps his arms around her and hooks his chin over her shoulder, "It's lovely to see you, Marianne." Mary hugs him fondly, "I know." He knocks his head into hers and she snickers, "Alright, alright, lovely seeing you, dushi."

He pulls back and narrows his eyes at her suspiciously, "You're here early." Peter steps back completely to inspect her, eyes her head to toe. Then he paces around her, lifting her hair, arms, kicking in the backs of her knees and ducks when she tries to flick him for it. "Ay yai yai, calm down, I'm just checking your mobility. Meds, supplements?" he asks while he holds her face in both hands and turns it both ways. 

"Yes and yes, every morning." He tugs on her ears, checks her temperature with the back of his hand before nodding in approval. 

"How's the stump?" Peter asks, smirking. 

"You know I don't like calling him that," she utters unimpressed.

"Why didn't you choose Hephaestus, again?" Mary rolls her sparkling brown eyes at him. 

"Because the accident was a Hiccup in my life. Also 'half Hephaestus' doesn't sound cool; too many syllables." Peter grins at her with a small kick to her bionic leg. 

"Hey, you break it, you buy it." Sirius breaks out laughing behind her. 

"You're laughing but he cost me several months rent." Marlene walks in freshly drunk behind them and giggles, "A limb more like." That gets Dorcas snickering. Mary slowly raises her right brow and says, "That joke was dropped off a cliff and died harder than Fili in the Hobbit." A mourning silence fills the room and Marls's voice cracks as she mutters, "Ouch. I respect it, message received but... Damn."

Mary throws her arms around Dorcas and Marlene and fully kisses both their cheeks. "Marls, you’ve got to understand I hear that joke all the time, it's annoying now. It's like when people call you an oreo 'cause you have vitiligo or tell you to go back in the blender."

"That's more in line with bullying though. Do you feel like we're bullying you?" Cas asks with an arm snaked around Marlene's waist.

"I don't, but it gets irritating."

"I bully her," Peter cuts in. "Every day." He shakes his head like it's nothing. "It's my job as her brother." He pinches her cheeks from behind and like his abuela does to them sometimes. "Isn't that right, sugarplum." Mary's eyes are unimpressed in contrast. 

"¿Sabes qué, Chiquito?" She utters as she turns around and tries to grab at him, but Peter ducks and runs off to the bunks at the back of the bus in a fit of giggles. Although not before stealing a bottle of tequila from Marlene, who then chases after him, on the way. Dorcas then backs out of the lounge to 'save Minnie from a murder charge'.

Mary drops herself on the sofa and her eye twitches for a bit, then she sighs out as much of the air in her lungs as she can. She makes eye contact with Sirius and she can tell he knows. They've been friends for more than half their lives and he knows her on so many vulnerable levels. Sirius could always tell when Mary was loathing herself. Perhaps because it was so familiar to him, by guilt or by force. She thinks it's because when the quiet rolls in, she drifts away, that it's visible. Still, she hopes that if she drifts far enough, she won't even haveto pretend her problems aren't happening. Dreams to be so far that their anxieties won't exist to her.

She sits there staring at him and gradually her eyes haze until she doesn’t really see anymore. Sirius pulls her in and Mary lays her forehead to the side of his neck as he rubs circles into her back. Sirius sings softly into her hair but Mary only gets the melody. It's soothing nonetheless. Something about being with her best friend is making all the shit she's going through finally sink in. It all crashes into her like pain after an adrenaline high and in all honesty – it just really has her feeling like a pile of shit.

Moments pass and the present feels like eternity but also like everything's frozen. Time is measured between speed bumps and red lights while Mary wonders if this is what it feels like to be slowly losing your mind. She doesn't get to think about it before she falls asleep. Lullabies will have that effect.

Sirius sits up and unrolls the sleeve down her prosthetic, gently removes the leg and puts it in a storage drawer like it's a toy. He scoops her up and walks her over to the bunks trying his best not to stumble as the bus turns a corner. He shifts her onto one of the beds but when he tries to pull the blanket over her finds Mary's hands clutching his sweater in a fist.

Peter and the girls drag out an 'awe' from the bunk across and he has to shush them. Sirius watches Mary’s face glisten with sweat for the single second it takes him to decide to climb in. He curls an arm around her head and strokes her hair as she tries to bury herself between his ribs. Mary gradually calms and Sirius wonders what the hell Lily Evans had done this time and what hair stylist she'd moved to. 

★

The drive from where they'd just performed in Houston at NRG Stadium up to SoFi Stadium in San Diego is going to be a good twenty four hours of highways, concrete and boredom. Or maybe not. He has a gut feeling that Mary wanted to talk about something. Sirius' gut is not typically one to rely on, like that time he once smushed a sandwich with oily meats into a toaster thinking it was a good idea and had a very small, very eco-friendly house fire on his hands. Probably not thinking.

Not the current point though. The point is he's bored, which means he has The Munchies – in short, he has to get someone to ask Kingsley to stop for breakfast. Point being, he has to enter the dragon's nest.

Sirius carefully untangles himself from Mary, slipping a pillow to replace his arm under her head. Then he quietly manoeuvres around Marlene's limbs hanging half on the bed with Dorcas and her other half on the floor. Sirius takes a couple steps past and squats down to Peter's bottom bunk. Sirius pokes at his face but Peter doesn't even stir. Then he starts to whisper.

"Hellooo," quiet as possible to not wake Minnie but his patience threshold when he's hungry is abominably low. "Hey!" He grumbles under his breath when Peter doesn't so much as twitch and starts to flick at Pete's chubby cheeks. "Hellooooo," when there's still no reaction, Sirius whisper-shouts. "Hello!" accidentally flicking off Peter's hearing aid that he probably forgot to take out last night and scrambles to catch it. When Sirius turns back, it’s to an unimpressed, freshly woken, grumpy Peter and he tries to play it off with an awkward grin. "Heh. Good morning, you lovely ray of sunshi-"

"What d'you want, Black?" He drags out in early morning irritation.

Sirius purses his lips to the side and mumbles, "Could you ask Kingsley to stop for breakfast?" Peter blinks, twice, stupendously at him then turns over and cocoons himself. Sirius drapes himself over Peter with murmurs of 'Please?' and 'I am your best friend.' and 'Don't you love me?'

Peter shoves the covers down from over his face and immediately meets Sirius' ginormous puppy dog eyes. "And you can't ask him yourself because...?"

"Sometimes when I am bored, I'll sit up front with Kingsley and ask him to make stops at gas stations so I can get slushies. He won't make stops for me anymore. Says I'm entitled and wasting valuable road time. Though that might also be because I dropped his slushie last time. In his lap. All irrelevant to my current situation of The Munchies. Pretty please, Blondie?" Sirius blinks in cartoon fashion as if that is going to help him get what he wants.

"Mm. Lost your pretty privilege, have you?" Peter rolls out of bed, groaning and face plants on the cold hardwood floors. You can see his chest rise with a deep breath before his heavy agonising sigh and mumble of "I greatly dislike you."

Pete hauls himself up and immediately stumbles over Marlene's extended leg. Once he's stable, he kicks her leg a bit, muttering about how she sleeps like that American gas station blow up man they saw on their drive into Texas. He walks over her arm and head lying in the middle of the walkway and heads to the front of the bus. Peter opens the door to the driver's area to talk to Kingsley but instead of just saying what he needs Pete gets into the passenger seat.

Sirius' face drops because he knows Pettigrew has just gone back to sleep and he won't be getting breakfast for another half hour. Splendid.

By the time they park at a diner in some town in the middle of nowhere it's 9:27 and everyone is awake and alive, if not dead on their feet. Sirius hops out the bus doors and twists and turns his spine in every direction possible to get every satisfying crack or a necessary trip to the ER. He carries Mary in a flowing yellow sundress on his back to the diner and Marlene speed walks to the doors of the diner with Dorcas in tow.

Sirius lowers her into the booth and once they're seated a waitress passes by to get them started on drinks and take their orders. Their lemonades reach the table and Mary taps Sirius and signals outside. "I want to talk to you about something," she says.

Sirius walks with her joint at the hip out of the diner. "Hiccup still bothering you?" Mary looks confused but then he pokes her leg and she gets it. "Hm? Oh, no. Some days are better than others, it doesn't cooperate or it's uncomfortable, it depends. Or sometimes I just don't want to wear the leg. Free will, let the limbs breathe and all that jazz. And no, um. I actually had something I wanted you to listen to." He looks sceptical but then she continues:

"Remember Lily Evans?" Mary tells him everything. The rumours, the denial, wednesday night hook-ups, lies, how angry it made her and how hard she'd tried to be it for Lily. That if she'd just been good enough, that she could help Lily through it and they'd work it out. And about how she's finally given up.

She doesn’t say any of it really, just hands him her headphones. Sirius looks from them to her confused, "I didn't think I'd be able to tell you. Not anything to do with you, just that I feel so… angry. And so worn. I can't even really say why I stuck around so long."

Obviously though, Sirius knew why she'd stuck around Lily Evans. Mary's not lying of course, she obviously can't understand why she stuck to Evans for so long. Why she stayed through all the kicks and punches, yelling and denial, unreliability and fickle love. Sirius sees why though; knows it was because she wanted to prove she could love someone, no matter how aggravating it was or how difficult they made it; knows why she wanted to prove it.

He puts on the headphones and hears her familiar voice coming through the speakers. Everything Mary says in the song are axes hacking at his rotting pillars. He leans against the glass window of the diner and slides down till he hits the pavement and Mary follows in a pistol squat. Sirius holds a hand locked over his mouth as tears stream down his face and his lungs scrape themselves raw. The lyrics are rubbing salt in a very fresh wound and he hears Barty's voice echo in his mind.

"You let me stay; you let me hurt you."

I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself

I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

At the end of her primal scream on the demo, Sirius turns to face Mary who seems apologetic, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He's frozen for a second then drops his hand from his mouth and wraps himself around her tightly, gathering her up in his arms. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," Sirius whispers with his voice hoarse. 

Mary huffs at him, "Looks like I wasn't much there for you either." She kisses his temple and utters, "I'm sorry. I really do love you, Sirius."

He sniffs and wipes his bleary eyes then wipes her tears too, "I love you more, Marianne. To my credit though, I don't think you're a loser." 

"No?" 

Sirius stands and pulls her up after. "Nah, 'cause you're just a teenage dirtbag, baby~" 

"Wow, okay. Wrap it up Lottie La Bouff. Anyway, thank you. Pancakes?"

"Pancakes."

Sirius stops them at the diner's glass door entrance. He slides the headphones down and off his neck, shakes them and asks, "Is that song released yet?" Mary shakes her head. "Then I have a wonderful idea."

She grins.

★

"No." 

Sirius comes back into the diner with the biggest Cheshire grin and Minerva immediately knew she wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. 

Sirius, in all his too early energy, word-vomits all over Minnie's morning mud brain. "Sirius it is yet 10 in the morning. I haven't had my," she mutters then yawns, "pancakes yet."

One thing everyone should know about Minnie is that she's the furthest thing from a coffee person. In fact she pledged to herself at 15 years old that she would never drink 'The Mud Water' as she calls it. Why? Well, it happened after a very poor encounter with the very dreaded 'coffee breath' which has apparently scarred her for life. 

No, Minnie is something else entirely. She is a pancake girl which means no pancakes = no happy. All to say, she's a fair bit less tolerable in the morning without the pancakes. "Well I thought it was best I run it by you, instead of having Mary pop up on stage at the end of the concert without rehearsals." Minerva hums to herself and that's when the waiter shows up with her and Mary's stack of gorgeously fluffy pancakes and Minnie's eyes light up. 

Sirius sighs, "I wish I were a bit more like you, Minnie. Oh, to wake up and be excited about pancakes." 

"Life's simplicities, Sirius." Mary chimes in cutting into her pancakes. 

"So," Minnie starts, peppier than a minute ago, "Your bright idea is to have Mary perform an 'outro' song at the concerts in LA?" Sirius hums in confirmation. Minnie rolls her eyes 'cause it's entirely on brand for him to be so spontaneous and spring this on her. They both watch her face as the clogs turn in her mind.

"I'm not all so concerned with the explicitness of the song as I am with whether or not Mary's prepared to perform. You two might also have to accept the very real possibility that the music won't be live. The backup band might not be able to nail the song in the 3 days before the last concert so the music might end up playing from the speakers.” It's a pretty short notice so while it's not the best it could be, they still nod along in agreement. "Before all of that there's the most important question: Can you perform, Mary?"

"I've done the same training Sirius does for the tour. I can handle it, my leg shouldn’t and won’t cause any issues. I might not be fit right now to run the 2 hour show Sirius does but I'm capable, Minnie. I can do this."

Minnie drops her fork and smirks. "No doubt, but I meant whether or not you'll impress. Me, that is. It's going to be a lot of organising but it could work." Mary and Sirius playfully smack each other's arms in excitement and a little disbelief.

Minnie then poses the next important question, "Your costume?" Sirius' eyes widen 'cause he genuinely, kind of, completely forgot about that. He curses under his breath but Mary is all smiles and aces up her sleeves.

"I've got that one covered." 

"Well, then," Mary, Peter, Sirius, Marlene and Dorcas all raise a bit off their seats in the booth crowded around Minnie. "I will see you at soundcheck." 

Screeches fill the diner and the waitress walks up hips swinging with their breakfast, "Well, y'all rowdy this morning. Something good happen?"

"Something great," Marlene purrs from the end of the booth. She takes the plates from Jolene's hands and places them on the table. "Mavis, our little songbird here, is going to perform for us at our concert." Jolene spins around to the counter to pick up another tray filled with their breakfast and comes right back. "Oh, ain't that wonderful?" Marls replies back in her near-perfect southern accent, "Ain't it just?" 

"Speaking of, Jolene, love, do you serve piña coladas here?" Marls asks with a big smile. "Just might." Marlene winks at her before she turns to head back to the kitchen. 

"Virgins, please." Minnie calls out and Jolene nods. 

Kingsley reaches over from his singular booth, because he likes mornings to himself, and smacks Marlene on the back of her head. "Stop flirting with the waitress before she sues you for harassment." He says while leaning over into their booth. 

"Why on earth would she? I'm so charming." She grins up at him. Kingsley takes barely a glance at her before clearing his throat, "Pest control," he smiles sweetly gesturing at Minnie and Dorcas. "If you wouldn't mind collecting your drooling toddler in aisle 1." Marlene mutters something that sounds like 'bitch' and starts munching.

"Look," Marlene starts waving her fork around pointing at her friends around the table. "I'm twenty-three. Age is just a number." Her eyebrows drop instantly and Marls whips her head back when she hears Kingsley scoff from his booth behind her. When she turns back Minnie's holding a hand up for a pause so she can finish chewing. "And homicide is just a dare then." Marlene locks eyes with her for a long minute before concluding with, "Maybe." Mary grunts in agreement. 

"Seconded." Sirius chokes out through his mouth full of pancakes. Marlene sticks her neck out over the table to get a good angle at Sirius' face. Everyone is looking at Sirius now and he's frozen like he's been caught red-handed. "What?" Marls tucks her lips in to keep from laughing at his stuffed chipmunk cheeks. "You lot are missing my point. Which is, that flirting is a harmless ego booster and in my heart of hearts, I see nothing wr-"

"What heart?" Marlene reaches an arm past Mary to hit the back of Sirius' head. He rubs the back of his head but stays steady nailing in his coffin. 

"I'm just saying." He puts his palm up. "You're no hagfish."

"I'm not, but you're surely looking the part and," she opens Mary's pocket watch necklace to check the time, "Half past 10 is no hour of morning," she drops the posh accent, "to be pushing my buttons." 

"Got a mute?" Peter and Mary say at the same time with a string of bubbly laughter following. 

"It's not a button but I'm sure they'll plug your mouths just fine," Marls pulls out her best cheshire grin as Jolene walks up with their virgin piña coladas. She serves the drinks and Marlene asks, "Do you want a wand or a rabbit?" 

Minnie's laugh is big and genuine. Sirius and Mary are choking, Peter's wearing a look somewhere between shocked and impressed. Dorcas has her head down but is grinning nonetheless. Everything halts though and all eyes are locked on Jolene when she chimes in with, "I say both." She locks eyes with Dorcas and eyes her from head to toe but doesn't look up again before walking off. 

The entire table is silent until Jolene closes the kitchen door behind her. They all exchange looks but the first one to speak is Kingsley who, once again, leans over the edge between the two booths and whispers, "Might I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"Oh, piss off, Kingsley. Don't you have a morning appointment with misery?" 

"Harsh world being mediocre, is it?" 

"Not nearly as much as your morning rank. Honestly." Marls mutters and covers Kingsley's face with the spread of her hand and pushes him back into his own booth. 

Peter hums for a minute. "Ironic or iconic – what do we think?" 

"Both." Sirius chimes in. "Both is good."

Marlene licks the syrup off her fork and stabs it in the air at the two of them. "Do not make me stab you." She keeps eating and mutters under her breath, "I'd have to get up."

Dorcas squeezes Marlene's legs between her own. They've been entangled under the table the entire time. Marls gets up from her seat at the end of the booth and leans down to plant a sticky sweet kiss on Cas' lips then sits right back down. 

They finish up, pay the bill and leave Jolene a big fat tip. Peter carries Mary out to the bus this time, her prosthetic still inside. Sirius trails behind his closest friends and chosen family, most of them at least. He watches their happiness and feels for a second that it's not absent from him. 

For the next couple hours between board games and entertainment, snack stops, reminiscing memories and making new ones, just being with his friends makes Sirius feel that there's still a light on somewhere. It seems small in his despair but it's there, and that's all that really matters.