“I have no idea what you lot were thinking,” Minerva snapped, her eyebrows contracted, hovering between the beds of James Potter and Sirius Black in the twilit Hospital Wing.
“Professor, we couldn't help it.” James Potter said “It was just so obvious...”
“Obviously, you cannot restrain yourself at all where Mr Snape is concerned.” Her mouth was so thin it was like there were no lips whatsoever.
“That's what Remus says,” Sirius said with a wink at James. Minerva stared at him. “You ought to listen to Lupin,” she said.
“Even Lily doesn't like Snape. She likes everyone.” James shrugged. “And he was trying to talk to her.”
“You had to hex him for it?”
“I never hex him for no reason. He's a walking reason. He's a greasy git, swimming in slime and a Dark wizard to boot. And he called her a Mudblood once. What business does he have talking to her? And he hexed us back. Why else would we be covered in scaly flakes?”
“You were four on one.” Minerva sounded stern, but her lips twitched.
“Who told you?” Sirius asked with interest, and a suspicion that Snape had told on them.
“Mr Antony Smith of Hufflepuff. As I said, four on one, once again. Explain. And remain lying down.”
“How many times do we have to say, Remus and Peter are just ... objective observers?” James laughed easily as the matron came and restored their skin to normal, glaring at them and sweeping away to treat Snape. She was very used to seeing the three in the Hospital Wing.
There was a joyous bark as Sirius turned onto his left side to see where Snape was. It looked like Snape's mouth had been sewn shut with rough Muggle stitches. He was looking at them through eyes of utter loathing from his bed by the wall. The matron had her wand out.
“You shouldn't have used that on us, Snivellus,” Sirius laughed.
“It is no laughing matter!” barked Minerva.
“This is!” James held up a wand. It was rowan with dragon heartstring. “I summoned it! Right In front of his oily nose!”
“His wand? That's hardly fair play.” Minerva snapped.
“All's fair in fighting Dark magic!” James quipped.
“You wait!” Severus hissed though his now partially healed mouth. “I'll curse you with my speciality next time, with no Hufflepuffs to save you. Give. Me. My. Wand.”
Minerva snatched up Snape's wand. She looked like she wanted to avoid contamination as she came near him. She thrust his wand at him, and turned away from him with a nauseated expression.
“I know, Snivellus You scare us. We're trembling. We just want to show you Slytherins the good life.” Sirius couldn't stop laughing. James joined in. Minerva snorted in anger but her eyes had that Gryffindor gleam of mischief.