The Silent Tension
Minji suggested visiting her bookstore after they ate, which Hanni excitedly agreed to. After their conversation about the ring, they fell into complete silence while eating. It wasn’t suffocating at all since both of them were lost in their own worlds, caught up in thoughts they chose to bury in their minds.
As Minji stood up to clean the table, Hanni followed her to the sink, carrying the plates.
"I'll do it since you're the one who cooked," Hanni offered.
Minji nodded at her suggestion and stepped aside, giving Hanni space to settle in front of the sink. As Hanni was about to start washing the dishes, she stopped, sensing an unmistakable presence behind her—close, too close.
She turned her head to confirm, only to flinch against the sink when she realized Minji was indeed standing right in front of her. Very, very closely. Cornering her.
Her breath hitches.
The taller woman held her stance, saying nothing but staring intently down at her. She was giving her a look Hanni had never seen before—one she immediately avoided, gulping. Her body was fully turned to face Minji, hands gripping the edge of the sink behind her.
"M-Minji?" Her voice quivered. She flickered her gaze toward Minji briefly, then shifted it elsewhere. Her eyes darted from place to place until they landed on Minji's hands, which were twitching—as if resisting the urge to do something.
The quickening pulse in her throat doubled when she heard no reply. Gathering her courage, she look up.
And this!
This was exactly what Hanni meant by being afraid of failing to survive living with her—because right now, she was terrified her heart might burst out of her chest!
The tension between them thickened as the exchange of silent, unspoken emotions prolonged. Hanni stared back nervously. Minji's eyes now told a thousand stories—stories Hanni had never heard before, or ones she had forgotten.
Maybe it was the tension between them, or the little to no space, but Hanni couldn’t seem to pull herself away from Minji’s eyes. Instead, she found herself drowning in those dark irises.
It didn’t take long for Hanni’s gaze to falter. Her eyes began flicking between Minji’s and her slightly parted lips, before darting back to her gaze.
Only to witnessed Minji doing the same.
Something inside her stomach churned.
And something else urged her to lean closer.
Hanni’s thoughts fogged, and before she could react to her own twitching hands, Minji suddenly looked away. The older woman blinked, pressing her lips firmly together, as though struggling to hold herself back from doing something.
Something that Hanni desired to understand.
Minji briefly shut her eyes, her head shaking slightly before she turned away. She walked off, leaving Hanni confused and... bothered?
"Minji..." she called out. The woman stopped in her tracks. "What was that for?"
Minji paused in silence before replying, "Nothing. Let me know when you’re done so we can go to the bookstore."
She continued walking to the couch, calmly opening her phone as if she hadn’t just caused Hanni an internal turmoil.
What was that...?
---
They were now driving in the suburbs, engaged in casual small talk. Hanni reached for a bottle of water to drink, but Minji abruptly stopped the car. She gasped, spilling water on herself.
"Minji?!"
Minji’s wrist, covered by her hoodie’s long sleeve, immediately met Hanni’s chin, wiping the water off her skin. Hanni was subtly taken aback. It all looked so natural, so casual for Minji, as if she had done it countless times before. She probably had.
"Sorry, a dog crossed the road," Minji explained, reaching into the glove box and pulling out a cloth. She handed it to Hanni, who accepted it willingly and began wiping the water off her shirt.
They hadn’t even reached the bookstore yet, nor left the suburban streets, but her attire was already soaked.
While Hanni focused on cleaning herself up, silence filled the car. Her eyes flickered toward Minji, whose attention was fixed on the open glove compartment. Following her gaze, Hanni realized she was staring at the small red box.
The ring.
After a stretch of silence, Minji reached for the box, holding it out in front of her. "I’m sorry for the way I reacted earlier. This actually belongs to hyung," she said softly, one Hanni couldn't deny the sincerity.
Hanni furrowed her brow, her focus now entirely on Minji. "Taehyung-hyung? Isn’t he married? That’s what you told me, right?"
"Yeah." Minji nodded, "And no, not him, but his ex."
Hanni tilted her head in confusion. "Hyung? So his ex is..."
"A man," Minji finished, her eyes never leaving the small box in her hands. "Taehyung-hyung is bi, and so is his ex."
Hanni’s mouth formed a small "O" as she slowly nodded in understanding.
Woah, I guess it runs in the blood.
She thought, referring to the siblings' sexual orientation.
"Jk-hyung gave it to me when things didn’t work out between them," Minji continued, her hand brushing the box as if studying it. "He said I could just throw it away or give it to someone else, but I couldn’t." She sighed softly.
Hanni nodded again, thinking her next question. Finally, she hesitated before asking, "If you don’t mind me asking... Why did they break up?"
Minji gave a small smile before returning the box to the glove compartment. "Taehyung-hyung fell out of love," she said calmly. She took the cloth from Hanni’s lap and placed into the compartment as well. "Three months later, he got into a relationship with a woman. The one he eventually married."
Somehow taken aback, Hanni's eyes sightly widen along with the parting of her mouth, "Oh..." She whispered.
Minji closed the compartment and, without looking back, turned her attention to the road ahead. "I hated him for so long," she admitted. "I hated him so much that I barely interacted or communicated with him for years. He used to promise that he’d marry Jk-hyung, but... well..." She shrugged nonchalantly, her voice trailing off.
Hanni stayed quiet, unsure of what to say. She didn’t want to interrupt, so she simply listened, her gaze never leaving Minji.
"You know why it affected me so much?" Minji continued. "My parents divorced when I was eight, and I ended up living with my dad, who barely paid me any attention. But hyung existed, and that was more than enough for me. Then, when I was ten, hyung introduced me to his boyfriend. They became like parents to me. For years, they were my family. But when I turned eighteen, everything they had... ended. It felt like watching my parents divorce all over again." She ended her explanation with a soft huff.
Hanni still didn’t speak, offering only a small nod to show she was listening.
"So, should we go?" Minji asked, flickering her gaze to her and starting the car engine.
"Yeah," Hanni replied in a whisper, still unsure whether to bring up more questions or let the topic rest.
And as always, curiosity won anyway.
"But you guys are okay now, right?" she asked carefully, slightly leaning toward Minji to check her expression.
"Taehyung-hyung?" Minji reassured, keeping her eyes on the road. Hanni nodded.
Minji offered a genuine smile. "Of course. That was a long time ago. I even asked him to send me updates and pictures of his daughter, Ella."
"Can I see too?!"
For some reason, Hanni felt an eager curiosity about the child. Maybe it was because she’d seen the couple’s wedding photos when Minji shared stories about her family. The couple was gorgeous, so it was no surprise she wondered how their child turned out.
Minji chuckled at her obvious enthusiasm. "Sure, when we reach the store."
As minutes passed, now driving on the highway, Hanni felt at ease. The question on her mind had finally settled. She peeked out the window, smiling as she watched the cars pass by, enjoying the not-so-fresh air of the city.
From time to time, Minji would glance at her and secretly smile to herself.
...
Five minutes passed, and another thought crossed Hanni's mind. She returned to sitting properly and stared at Minji.
"I never got to ask you about my accident. Can you tell me about it?"
"Hm. Didn’t they tell you already?" Minji replied, as calm as ever, her eyes never leaving the road.
"Well, they did..." Hanni paused. "They said it was nighttime, I decided to go to Danielle’s place, and boom—accident. But... is that really it? No more elaboration?" she asked, tilting her head to catch a glimpse of Minji’s face, hoping for more answers.
But the Korean simply nodded. "That’s really all there is to it."
Hanni sighed and leaned back, turning her gaze toward the window.
"Well..." Minji began, catching Hanni’s attention again. She shifted her gaze back to Minji, now fully focused on her. "The day before your accident, you lost the ring. We had a confrontation about it, but we were okay after. However, the next day, we fought again for a different reason. That night, after the fight, you asked for space and said you’d sleep at Dani’s, and... then the accident happened."
Hanni went quiet. She needed a few moments to process the information before asking wearily, "What did we... fight about?"
Minji blinked. "Uh... about how busy I was. We barely had time together—you know, the typical love quarrels."
"Oh... okay..." Hanni slowly nodded, but her eyes remained fixed on Minji, as if searching for something more than her words. Somehow, she wasn’t satisfied with the answer.
"Any more questions?" Minji glanced at her to confirm.
Hanni shook her head with a small smile—a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. "Nope."
"Alright."
If there was one more thing Hanni noticed, it was how Minji seemed eager to share their memorable or happy moments but avoided talking about their challenges or problems. It was almost as if she cut off those parts as quickly as possible, as if she were trying to bury something she didn’t want to resurface.
---
Not long ago, they arrived at the bookstore. Minji had handed over the key so Hanni could open the store herself. As Minji expected, Hanni squealed happily and excitedly walked around the place.
She strolled from shelf to shelf, running her hand along the books on her way—sometimes taking out a book to skim through, smelling the paper, grazing the cover, and skipping while smiling widely, like a child finally visiting Disneyland.
Minji could only sit at the counter, watching as Hanni ran along the corridor. Her head bowed down to hide her smile before she reached for the book stored in the drawer.
She opened the first page and began to distract herself with reading. Somehow, she was already intrigued by the first paragraph.
Minji found herself quietly reading with Hanni's voice in the background. She grew accustomed to her giggles, the high-pitched—sometimes low—shrieks, and the sound of her feet walking or running—probably even hopping—around.
As Hanni's hand grazed the books, her attention flickered to Minji, who was sitting behind the counter, peacefully reading. Her face rested, concentrated, and calm. Hanni found it... beautiful.
Unknown to her, she failed to notice that she was now staring at the Korean. The counter was far from where she stood—somewhere at the corner of the shelves—but she could clearly see the little frown on Minji's face, evidence of how focused or serious she was on her reading.
And before she knew it, her pulse gradually became faster and louder. But she was too busy staring at Minji to even deny it—not when it felt like the world had stopped, as if everything was in slow motion. She studied how Minji's masculine yet delicate fingers flipped the page, how the paper seemed to flow slowly to the other side, and the slow fluttering of Minji's eyelids.
Oh.
"You know that feeling where the world stops? Like as if everything's in slow motion?"
"No? Isn't that what they call falling in love?"
"Yes. And I know that feeling."
"What do you mean? Are you falling in love with someone else?"
"No, Han. It's what I felt when I saw you at the Christmas party."
She held her breath as a memory from the past with her childhood friend played in her mind. No, her memories aren't returning. It was when she's just a 12-year-old girl, and her best friend confessed his feelings to her and made a promise. She hadn’t seen him for so long, and she wondered how he was.
But her thoughts were shaken back to reality when Minji's phone rang. Minji answered it while sitting on her chair. Hanni blinked her eyes and twisted her body in front of the shelves, letting out a breath before her shaky hand rested on her chest.
Oh no.
This can't be, right?
I'm just...
Am I...
No...
Falling in love?
Her fingers clenched her shirt as her brow creased, and the beat of her heart only worsened.
Nah man.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
I need to calm down.
This is just. . .
Oh Chris, why did I have to remember that!?
"You okay?"
She jerked to face the voice's owner, her back immediately glued to the shelf. Minji was now standing in front of her again. Close.
Minji looked at Hanni with a concerned face before her gaze shifted to Hanni's hand, which was still clenching her chest. Before Hanni could react, Minji reached for her wrist worriedly. "What's wrong? Is your chest hurting?"
Hanni blinked rapidly, her eyes focusing on Minji's, while her breathing quickened. Suddenly, she felt scared—scared of the overwhelming feelings and the close proximity. But Minji could only study her with curiosity and worry. It took Hanni a few silent exchanges of stares before she finally functioned and softly pushed Minji away.
"I-I'm fine. Just random... a... a heartburn."
"You sure?" Minji asked, bowing her head slightly, attempting to meet Hanni's avoiding eyes. Hanni only nodded furiously.
For a few seconds, Minji kept her eyes on Hanni, peering silently for a different reaction, but Hanni remained unresponsive.
With a defeated sigh, Minji said, "Dani called. She said they'll visit us tomorrow. I'm planning to cook something for them, so how does grocery shopping sound to you?"
Finally, Hanni looked up to meet Minji halfway, her eyes now mirroring excitement. "Sounds perfect!" she exclaimed like as if nothing happened. "Besides, I already miss them!" Hanni then pushed herself away, skipping down the corridor. "Minji-ah! We're done here! Let's go now!"
And the whole time, Minji's gaze never left the girl. Her eyes slowly softened, and a small smile grew on her lips.
She huffed a chuckle, "Alright, let's go."
-----
"Why aren't you picking anything?" asked Minji, who was pushing the cart in the sweets section, with Hanni trailing by her side.
"Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine," she answered, waving her hand dismissively.
Minji glanced at her before commenting, "Ah, right..." she murmured, realizing that this girl wasn't the same as the one she remembered. "Go ahead and pick whatever you want. Old Hanni loved to do that."
Almost immediately, Hanni replied, "Well, I'm not old Han..." She halted, reconsidering her sentence. Because, one, she is the old Hanni; two, she just doesn't remember anything.
"I mean... really, it's fine," she continued, her voice almost a whisper.
Minji nodded silently, understanding that, as Haerin had said, "everything will go back to the start." It was indeed going back to the very beginning of their dynamic. "You saying 'it's fine' isn't fine. You know I could buy you anything you want, right?"
Hanni scoffed playfully. "Oh, really?" She looked up at Minji with a raised brow, challenging, "Buy me a plane, then." She smirked.
But instead of the ridiculing reaction she hoped to elicit, Minji took her request seriously. "Well, actually, we do have a private pl—"
"Stop—what—I was just kidding—what?" Hanni stammered, dumbstruck.
"What what?" Minji blinked at her before stopping at a shelf, grabbing things to place in their cart. She answered so calmly, as if just talking about a meal she planned to cook, much to Hanni's flabbergasted face, "We do have a private plane."
Hanni's mouth hung open as she stared at her in disbelief. "Geez, man. That's crazy..."
But Minji could only shake her head with a smug smirk before walking away with the cart again. "What's crazy is you not picking anything. You know, you used to get your own cart just to buy whatever you wanted."
"Aren't you spoiling me too much?"
Minji stopped and turned to face Hanni, who also halted in her tracks. She spoke genuinely, "I've been spoiling you for seven years, Hanni. This isn't something new." She smiled and continued walking.
Hanni stood stunned for a moment before following her, hesitant to say anything but whispering to herself nonetheless, "...Well, I don't remember it..."
(It was no use; Minji heard her.)
"Then we'll make new memories," was her answer, without sparing her a glance.
---
Minji carried most of the bags to place them at the back of the car, while Hanni held only two small plastic ones—perks of being spoiled. Hanni also set her things inside before Minji closed the trunk.
"I'm hungry. Let's go somewhere," Minji suggested as she opened the passenger door for Hanni, who smiled secretly before getting in.
As Minji got in on the driver’s side, Hanni put on her seatbelt. "Where are we going?"
Minji glanced at her. "Any cravings?"
"Hmm..." Hanni pouted her lips, her eyes looking to the side—an action she always did when she was thinking. "No. Let’s just go anywhere we had memories of."
Minji considered her words before nodding softly. "Alright. To your favorite restaurant, then."
---
Their time together became a journey through forgotten memories. Hanni's expressions—with all the typical subtitles—were never concealed. She laughed, asked questions, expressed shock, and felt every emotion deeply. Minji went back to spilling teas, stories, and even gossip—wherever their topics took them. It was never quiet, as Hanni would always fill the silence with more questions, to which Minji replied as enthusiastically as Hanni asked.
After finishing their dinner, Hanni wasn’t done with her dessert. Silence now surrounded them—a good kind of silence, peaceful and tranquil. Minji’s attention drifted to her side, admiring the beautiful city lights. They were seated on the rooftop of the restaurant, a spot often occupied for its stunning view. But Minji—as always—had reserved a seat beforehand.
"Minji?"
"Hmm?" She hummed, her eyes fixed on the city.
Hanni took a deep breath, anticipating Minji to look back at her. "I want to work at the bookstore again."
Yet that didn’t budge her. Her eyes remained glued elsewhere. With a calm voice, she replied matter-of-factly, "Of course. That’s yours anyway."
"And what about my photography?"
Minji finally turned to her, offering a warm smile. "It’s up to you. If you want to go back to being a photographer, you’ll need to study again. We have a lot of books at home. You can bring some with you while you take care of the bookstore. How does that sound?"
A wide smile spread across Hanni’s face. "Sounds nice! I’m actually excited, even if it seems... tiring."
Minji chuckled, holding her wine glass. "Of course." She took a sip. "Going back to the start is tiring."
Slowly, Hanni’s smile faded. She watched as Minji’s attention shifted back to the city, her hand absentmindedly swirling the wineglass.
Minji took another sip before informing her, "Ah, right. Dani said she and Haerin will take care of the resort for now until you're ready to work with them again."
Hanni could only nod in silence.
---
After a few minutes of nothing but the chilling night breeze between them, Hanni focused on what was in front of her—her dessert. She quietly ate, though her mind wandered, entertaining or perhaps torturing herself.
"Of course, going back to the start is tiring."
Right.
It really is.
Is she saying...
She's tired of me?
"…Hanni-ah?"
"Huh?" She absentmindedly raised her chin to meet Minji’s gaze.
Minji poured another glass of wine. "What’s the plan for the wedding? I visited Grandma before I picked you up earlier. She was asking about it again." Her eyes stayed focused on the red liquid.
Hanni blinked, shifting her attention from Minji's wineglass to her eyes. "Oh... Uhm... Maybe this weekday, we can start?"
"Preparing for the wedding?"
"Uh..." Hanni’s gaze lingered on Minji’s lifeless expression, fixed on the glass as if something fascinating was inside. "Yes."
Minji raised the rim of the glass to her lips. "That fast, huh." She took a sip.
"Well... Grandma isn't getting younger. She keeps pestering me about it too." She paused, observing Minji's reaction that was way too busy to give her one—too busy on staring at her wine for whatever's interesting in it. "She wants it—if possible— this month."
"Hm," Minji hummed. "You decide on the wedding plans. I'll talk to the necessary professionals and handle everything we need. Once you're done, I'll make sure everything is ready."
"Necessary professionals?" Hanni asked curiously.
"Photographer, caterer, florist, wedding planner, makeup artist, and officiant."
Hanni nodded slowly, realizing just how much work a wedding entailed. Her eyes studied the woman in front of her, who—once again—stared out at the city. Minji seemed so physically close yet mentally distant.
"Oh... I see... Sounds good."
Hanni shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsettled by how Minji’s demeanor had changed. Earlier, they were talking comfortably about their past, but now Minji was handling the wedding so nonchalantly.
Is this even how couples should be?
"What are you thinking? You seem so preoccupied."
"Just thinking. Just work," Minji murmured.
Annoyance brewed in Hanni, but her voice remained composed. "If we’re not talking about the past, why are you always so... nowhere? It’s like you’re not present."
It’s like you’re only alive when the past is the subject.
Shouldn’t I be the one stuck in the past, considering I don’t remember it?
"You’re overthinking it. I’m just thinking about the food preparations for tomorrow." Minji took one last sip of her wine, wiped her lips with a napkin, and noticed Hanni’s plate was now empty. "We should go. It’s been a long day."
Hanni sighed in defeat before nodding. "Okay."
---
When they arrived home, Minji immediately went inside to grab herself a glass of water. Hanni slowly walked upstairs but stopped when she heard Minji’s voice from the kitchen.
"Goodnight."
She paused and, though she couldn’t see Minji from where she stood, turned back to face the direction of the kitchen. "Oh? Where are you..."
"I’m sleeping in the guest room," Minji’s voice echoed, filling the distance between them—the growing distance.
"Oh... Okay." Hanni nodded, though she knew Minji couldn’t see her.
She was about to continue upstairs when she heard approaching footsteps. Turning around, she saw Minji standing far away, the kitchen light illuminating half her body.
"I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable," Minji said softly.
Hanni blinked. "Oh, yeah, right. Thanks."
And that was all it took for Minji to walk away again, disappearing into the other room and leaving Hanni glued to her spot.
Well… Not that I’m uncomfortable with you.
I guess this is for the better.
But why does it feel like…
She’s so close yet so far away?
----
End of chapter 8.