Secret Stash of Unsent Letters

(01)

Potter,

I owe you pain.

Hope you're not a heavy sleeper,
Malfoy

(02)

Crabbe,

You're as stupid as Goyle.

I liked you better when you were a girl.

Look, a tent!
Draco

(03)

Goyle,

You're as stupid as Crabbe.

I liked you better when you were a girl.

Hey, something's just come up!
Draco

(04)

Pansy,

Remember when you said you'd do anything to,
for, and with me?

Meet me in the Prefect's bathroom at
midnight--wear a nightie.

Draco

(05)

Blaise,

Stupid Pretty Face.

Commit to the Ev0L or back away slowly.

Draco

p.s. AND STOP PREENING.
YOU'RE NOT PRETTIER THAN ME.

(06)

Dumbledore,

I could have done it if you hadn't pulled
that garbage about protecting my mum.

Now you'll never know,
Draco Malfoy

(07)

Granger,

Some days I want to hex you till it hurts.
Other days I want you and Pansy to switch minds;
you were HAWT (for a filthy little mudblood)
back at the Yule Ball in 4th year.

That doesn't mean I won't still try to kill you
and your friends, though.

Malfoy

(08)

Weasley,

You're my King. When I lie in my bed at night,
tucked between green, silk sheets, I think of
that red hair gliding down my stoma--wait, no!
I HATE YOU.

Die, die, die,
Malfoy

(09)

Mum,

*whine*

Hugs and Kisses,
Puppy

(10)

Snape,

Stop stealing my glory! I am not a little
boy and you are not my Daddy!

*stomps foot*

Draco