What is A Shadow
Two weeks had passed since Harry had tried spanking Severus during a scene. It had been two weeks since he had triggered a flashback that had left a grown man trapped in a thirty three year old memory of his father beating him. Two weeks that Harry had been adamant about only touching Severus lovingly. Two weeks that Harry had spent showing Severus that touch can be good.
But now it was time for a new lesson. With his abusive childhood, Severus often looked for the worst in things. He always expected things to take turn for the worse. He expected people to have hidden agendas. And worst of all, he expected things to be his fault. Harry was set on teaching him differently.
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“Lesson number one, Pet. What is a shadow?”
Severus was lying on his side, facing Harry, who was situated on the other half of the bed, opposite Severus.
“What, Master?” asked Severus, confused. He must have misheard. A shadow? Why would his master be asking about a shadow?
“I asked you a question, Little one. I won’t be happy if I need to repeat myself a third time. So tell me Pet, what is a shadow?”
It seems he hadn’t misheard his master after all.
“A shadow is a dark area or shape produced by a body coming between rays of light and a surface,” said Severus, reciting from memory.
“Very good Pet. Now tell me; is it possible to have a shadow without a light?”
“No, Master,” said Severus. “A shadow can only exist if there is a light to block.”
“So if there is something dark, it means there was a light before, but someone distorted it, correct?”
“Yes, Master.”
“So tell me, Pet. What is darkness?”
“It is the absence of light, Sir.”
“But is the light ever truly gone?” asked Harry.
“No,” said Severus, picking up on what Harry was trying to say. “It is just distorted by someone or something.”
“Let’s try this, Pet.”
Harry picked up his wand a pointed it at the ceiling, where a picture of a semi- solid, but mostly translucent rose appeared.
“What do you see, Little one?”
“A rose, Master.”
“What’s unique about a rose?”
“It has thorns, Sir.”
“And what are thorns used for?”
“To hurt predators.”
“So they are used to hurt?”
“Yes….” said Severus, confused again. He had just told his master they hurt.
“But when are they used to hurt?”
“When they are being attacked.”
“Ahhh. So they are not used to hurt; they are used to protect. There’s a difference, Pet. Roses do not go out hunting and hurting with their thorns. They don’t even attack when they are attacked; they just defend.”
“Okay,” said Severus, not understanding quite yet.
Harry pointed his wand at the ceiling where a picture of a collar replaced the rose. It had spikes all over the inside ring.
“Now what do you see, Pet?”
“It is a disciplinary collar.”
“It has thorns, yes?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“And they are used for hurting.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Why are they used for hurting?”
“Because someone made them that way.”
Harry pointed his wand at the ceiling a third time, where another picture joined the second. This collar was identical, except the spikes were on the outside.
“What’s this, Pet?”
“A protective collar.”
“What’s the difference between this collar and the last?”
“This one had thorns on the outside to protect the wearer from attackers.”
“But they both have thorns, yes?”
Severus nodded.
“What happened in the first collar, Sev?”
“Someone distorted it.”
“Good boy. So when I ask you now what thorns are used for, what are you going to say?”
“Whatever you choose to use them for,” said Severus quietly.
Harry’s face broke into a bright smile.
“Good boy,” he said, kissing Severus. “Everything has a shadow, but only because we give it one. Even spanking can be fun, but your Da gave it a shadow. And that’s not your fault. None of that was your fault. We just have to work on looking past the shadow and seeing the original light.”
“Now I think we also have to take care of safewording. It’s not a bad thing. I know your Da probably called you a lot of mean names when you cried or asked him to stop and I know that you are ashamed of safewording out because of him. Listen to me closely: There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. With safewording. It is there for you. It is for you to tell me when something is wrong or if you are just not feeling the scene. If you are not enjoying something, or if you are uncomfortable, I will stop. This relationship cannot be called a relationship without the consent and happiness of both parties. It is not about pleasing me, and I am sorry if I gave you that impression. This is about both of us, both of our pleasures. Understood, Severus?”
“Yes, Sir,” said Severus, looking down to hide his smile. He was happy. Very happy.