Something is wrong. It’s evident in the way Kara is bouncing on her feet. Her hands are working themselves to death fidgeting with one another. She’s nervous by nature, when she takes the last name Danvers. When she’s dressed in business casual sweaters and capri-ed jeans. Comfy suitable shoes scuff the ground a bit, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
It sends every single one of Lena’s guards into over drive and she knows it shouldn’t. She hates that it does, even now after everything they’ve been through together. She hates that she takes even a quarter of a step away from the blonde in front of her. She feels herself leaning further back on her heels, muscles tensing in anticipation for something terrible.
“Sorry, sorry, where was I?” Kara blushes a pretty pink catching Lena’s wary eye. It makes the CEO swallow a few times. Hiding with a deep breath and slowly moving back to where she was standing a few moments ago, heckles still raised but far less on her back foot.
“You were saying something about a surprise?” She stops herself from biting her lip, from playing with the hem of her dress. It’s a dirty little habit she’s picked up recently. Being in Kara’s orbit for so long, watching her fidget without a second thought… It brought back some of the things beaten out of her. A Luthor never gives away their intentions, after all.
“Right! Right. Well. Do you then?” Kara is a mess of nervous energy. As if it’s the first time she’s asking Lena for anything. It’s endearing, entirely adorable to watch. The Girl of Steel is putty in her hands and she hasn’t even done anything.
“Yes, Kara. I’d love to go out with you tonight.” The CEO takes a subtle deep breath. Her body stops releasing cortisol, her mind finally recognizing the utter and true lack of danger around her. It’s Kara. Kara would never hurt her.
“Great!” The blonde steps into Lena’s space taking her hands. Even without using a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of her strength Lena feels it. Her grip is strong, unyielding, comforting. Like an anchor for her ever thinking, ever busy mind. “I’ll be back at six.” Her intense warmth, like standing in the sun on a cool breezy day, moves away with her. Despite the overwhelming heat of the long summer day, Lena feels a chill running up her spine.
“Don’t you have patrol?” The CEO pulls up a mental image of a digital calendar. One Kara shared with her so they weren’t constantly in lieu trying to find free time. The fact Lena hadn’t even considered sharing their time so efficiently still made her scowl.
“Alex and the rest said they got it, and for the hundredth time Lena the calendar isn’t the end of the world.” Kara becomes a blur. A second later she’s holding folded clothes in her arms now donning her super suit.
“Wha- I-” Lena stumbles very gracefully over her retort instinctually taking the pile of clothes as her Super backs towards the balcony door.
“I’ll see you at six, bye Lena!” And then she’s gone. A dull familiar thud rocking from concrete through her office flooring. She stares at the empty space where Kara had been then down at the clothes now a bundled mess in her own arms.
There was something in Kara’s nerves, her abrupt exit, sending another wave of warning signals through Lena’s blood stream. She grips the soft sweater in her hands just feeling it’s texture.
Kara is just like a sweater. Comforting, warm, would never let her go unless Lena asked her to. Her Kryptonian is always incredibly warm. Always finding a way to make sure she’s okay, whether it’s out right or just a subtle glance of her blue eyes.
A sweater would never betray Lena’s trust twice. She chose to put it on in the first place, didn’t she? If something went wrong while wearing the sweater then she could just take the sweater off. Unless the sweater somehow became sentient and tried to strangle her with its drawstrings or sleeves or something, which is ridiculous to think about.
It’s ridiculous to be so worried about something happening with the sweater. It’s just that, isn’t it? A sweater. There’s no ulterior motive. It hasn’t ever tried to physically hurt her before, why would it now?
She’s been hurt before. Heels breaking, stockings running, shirts losing buttons, and jewelry snapping. The broken things had always convinced her it was her fault they broke, her fault she was hurt because of them breaking. They were all so different, dresses to bracelets. The only constant was her. So why not a sweater?
She let’s out a frustrated noise. Doesn’t realize she’s white knuckle gripping Kara’s clothes until her fingers begin to ache. Faintly her phone buzzes were she left it on her desk.
She refolds the forgotten identity of Danvers setting them on the corner of her work space. She flips her phone over and her heart does a little flip. Kara sent her three buzzing heart emojis and a question mark.
It makes Lena smile, she sends back an all good getting a generic smily not even a second later. She feels stupid, despite her overwhelming genius. Just like like with the damn calendar.
How could she be so afraid of her favorite sweater?
——
By the time six rolls around Lena’s calves burn from anxious bouncing. Anxiously pacing her office searching and re-researching hundreds of outings Kara could’ve come up with.
She started with the most obvious, like dinner or a movie. But based on the way Kara had been so anxiety inducingly nervous it had to be something more niche. Those searches only lead to very…. Interesting results. Most of them were cute. DIY crafts or rollerskating places. However the internet being just that, the internet, some very not safe for work things came up.
Lena felt her face flaring in heat, she’s only human after all and seeing the pictures at the sides of their articles… It didn’t take much to think of her Kara in those situations. Her Kryptonian in leather straps, herself on top of that incredibly, tightly muscled body…
It takes shaking her head and going back to looking up every single cinema in a twenty mile radius for the images to fade. She’s found every plausible skating rink, roller or ice just in case. There isn’t a restaurant or street vendor or crafting class or trivia night in all of National City she hadn’t found and memorized the basics of.
She is fully one hundred percent prepared for anything the Super could think of. Now she sits at her desk listening to soft melancholy music. She’d forgotten which playlist she on last freezing when ‘This Is Me Trying’ starts to play.
She’s not one to wallow on a regular basis, but sometimes not even she can pretend she isn’t a broken girl hiding behind a put together woman. And this song. This song always manages to bring out the hurt at the bottom of her whiskey glass.
“Uh oh, sad Taylor Swift?.” Nearly hitting the ceiling Lena instantly reaches for her lock down alarm stopped only by familiar sapphire eyes. “Sorry! Sorry! I thought- It’s six and- I’m sorry.” Kara is in her office and at her desk with her hands up in surrender.
It takes several seconds before Lena remembers why Kara is here in the first place. She glares at the blonde before her slowly getting to her feet, music paused without even having to look.
“I should’ve expected it at this point.” The CEO laughs lightly easing her panic away in a practiced way. It is just Kara after all. “How embarrassing for me, really.” Lena gasps a very quite thing. Supergirl moves into her space reaching a hand forward, but not touching.
“We can drive to your place, but I think I know a faster way.” She winks waiting for Lena to take her hand. How could she do anything but accept. She let’s herself be lead to her balcony. Let’s strong arms find her back swooping her off of her feet into a familiar bridal carry. She grabs around Kara’s neck burying into her.
She still hates heights. She still hates flying. She’s… afraid of it. Rightly so. Every single time she’s in the air in a metal box, every single time without fail, something or someone tries to kill her. It’s only when she’s technically at her most vulnerable, held only by inhuman arms, she let’s her feet leave the ground without a second thought. Even if her heart beats so hard it feels like it’s cracking the ribs caging it.
And then she’s back on solid ground. Winds stop assaulting her ears and her hair and her stomach does a very dangerous summersault. She’s used to it though, easily sliding past the acid working up her throat covering the undignified choking behind the guise of clearing her throat.
“I’ll never get used to that.” Lena stumbles in the threshold of her apartment. An insanely warm hand finds her stomach stopping her descent to the ground. An intensely warm body presses into her from behind helping her back to her feet.
“You also never seem to learn.” Kara jokes moving to Lena’s side. She holds the CEO’s hand and her elbow leading the two of them into Lena’s dark apartment.
“So…” Lena trails trying to seem nonchalant and not like having Kara’s hands on her is sending her into mortal anguish. “What’s the dress code for tonight?” Her breath stutters when warm hands release her much steadier form letting her walk without assistance.
Never seem to learn, hm Kara? Lena smiles to herself. She learned right and well after the first time she almost fell after flying. She learned Kara will always be there to catch her. It’s Kara who hasn’t seemed to catch on. Sure, the swaying and stumbling is real. Sure, she could wait the five to ten seconds it takes for her head to right itself. It’s the one selfish thing she allows herself with Kara. Just those few moments right after a flight when Kara all but dives to save her from herself, those Kryptonian hands reminding her why she still flies in the first place.
“Causal and comfy. And not business-ey casual. Actually casual. And warm! It’s supposed to be cooler tonight.” Before the CEO can even think to respond her blonde is a blur. There’s little to focus on between the span of a blink, Kara now dressed in street wear. Cream colored crew neck, dark jeans, and comfortable looking Nike sneakers.
“So you want the tabloids to have a field day with me?” It’s supposed to be a joke but, it doesn’t seem to land. Kara’s jaw immediately goes tense. Her eyes harden like diamonds and her fingers curl into her palms. “I… It was only a joke, Kara.”
The Kryptonian deflates. “I know, but-”
“I’ll wear what I want. You know I don’t care about them, especially when it comes to my fashion choices.” Now it’s her turn to put her hands on her reporter. She holds Kara’s shoulders squeezing feebly, her lack-in-comparison strength a joke all of it’s own.
“Right. And if they try anything I’ll write so many articles the rest get drowned out.” When Kara smiles that gentle smile the world smiles back. Lena grins feeling her stomach flutter and her face start to heat.
“I’ll be right back, it might take me a little longer though. We can’t all have the gift of super speed.” With her back to Kara she waves a teasing little wave then disappears into her room.
She lays back against her grandiose door holding a hand over her rapidly beating heart. Kara definitely knows. She can hear her normal, slow, heartbeat in a city of millions. In this proximity it has to be like banging pots and pans together directly into her ears.
How mortifyingly embarrassing. How mortifyingly unfair. She can lie her ass off. They… well they both know how good at lying she is. Even to the one person she thought she’d never have to.
She lied then. She hurt the both of them burning that bridge indefinitely. But the thing about Lena burning bridges, it’s useless when the other person regularly defies gravity. Kara flew over kryptonite green tinged flames extinguishing them with ease. She held out her hand and for some reason wanted Lena back into her life.
Lena swore she wouldn’t lie to Kara ever again. They both promised not to keep secrets and yet. Here she is, sifting though her closet holding onto a secret of secrets. One she’s loath to even fathom the possibility of Kara returning.
She’s seen Kara when she’s crushing on someone. Seen her fall head of heels for someone else. She isn’t like that with Lena. She’s calm, able to look at her and only turns into a stuttering mess when Lena teases it out of her.
She doesn’t love her the way Lena loves her.
Finally her fingers land on a dark blue hoodie with a faded ‘M.I.T’ logo on the front of it. Sweaters are supposed to be comforting. She changes into the hoodie pulling on her one and only pair of black jeans, she doesn’t even remember where they came from. Probably Sam when she was in her ‘expand your wardrobe Lena’ phase.
Sweaters are supposed to be warm. She’s never felt colder leaving her room. They’re supposed to be comforting. She feels so overly exposed in spite of being completely wrapped in thick soft fabric.
“Wow…” Kara’s face goes slack and her arms fall limply to her sides. “You- You’re.” Her mouth opens then closes a few times. “You look amazing.”
“Seriously?” Lena asks both in disbelief and irritation. This is quite literally the least of amount of effort she’s ever put into an outfit. “This is what gains that reaction?” She can’t help but laugh a little.
“It’s just so different!” Kara is already stepping to meet her half way, hands wildly gesturing. “For one, you rarely wear your hair down.” Without hesitating she reached forward and tucked some hair behind Lena’s reddening ear. There’s a part of her that wants to jerk away. Curse at her for her unintentional messing with her feelings. She doesn’t. Instead she smiles and uncharacteristically shyly ducks her gaze.
“Do you. Like it?” Uncharacteristically self conscious she re-tucks some fallen hair finding it increasingly hard to look at Kara’s gentle eyes. Involuntarily she tenses at a warm hand finding her jaw softly, let’s her eyes be lifted to see glittering sapphire.
“You’re always beautiful, Lena.” Everything about Kara is warmth. Including her small, genuine little smile. The one Lena has only seen directed towards her. Not even her exes were graced with this expression, Lena watched a little stalker like just to be sure. Unless she looked at those idiotic, undeserving, men, when they were alone, this look was just for her.
“So I’ve been told.” Lena once again ducks away finding her flooring much easier to stare at at the moment. Before Kara could charm her she interrupts. “Aren’t we going to be late?” There’s a moment of silence and then Kara takes her hard steer in conversation with grace.
“Technically there is no ‘time’ to be there.” The reporter quotes around the word time. So no reservations then. Over half of the outing ideas swimming in Lena’s head vanish. There is very little they could do in a city this size without a reservation. Maybe a stroll in the park, or a night hike, or just a long walk going from food truck to food truck? “Shall we, darling?” Kara holds her out hand, the other behind her back as she bows all dramatically.
If Lena’s head could explode it would have. A part of her hoped that it might, at least then she wouldn’t have to worry about hard her heart is pounding. How loud it has to be to the Super right in front of her. She hesitates to take her hand, she’ll feel her racing pulse for sure. How absolutely mortifying.
“Lead the way.” It’s far more shaky than she was hoping. Her fingers shake until they’re firmly in Kara’s unwavering hold. Her throat went dry. Kara choosing to move closer looping their arms at the elbow pressing them side to side as they made their way out of the apartment the boring way.
Whatever it was they were doing was in driving distance, her reporter rushing to get her door for her insisting on being chivalrous. Whatever it was Kara had planned Lena was sure she’d prepared.
——
Lena was in fact not at all prepared. The further they drove the more she crossed off her list. It dwindled and dwindled scratching every single theory she’d made and hypothesized becoming nothing but mumbled garbage in her brain. When they crossed the city boarder she was left with a mindless emptiness on what the hell their night would entail.
She hadn’t considered they would leave National City. They haven’t to date and they have had many, many outings before this one. Usually it’s just a nice dinner or an night-in at Kara’s apartment. On special occasions the two of them would fall asleep on each other’s couches, waking up tangled together after falling asleep to some movie Kara picked out.
Not knowing what was coming made Lena’s self preservation kick up. She doesn’t need to be protected right now, she is protected right now sitting beside Kara. Kara who had her hand on Lena’s knee as she drives, eyes never once wondering from the road.
If there was a god they certainly didn’t smile upon Lena Luthor. Or maybe they were trying to tell her to actually do something with the storm of feelings beating against her stomach, her chest. Either way it was entirely unfair that all it took to get her squirming was Kara’s thumb idly rubbing the inside of her knee.
She tried to distract herself by keeping her eyes sternly out of her window, face turned away from the Kryptonian beside her. It was the ending of golden hour now. The sun lit the world in the most flattering lighting.
Highlights turned to liquid gold, shadows saturated and stretched to contrast the brightness of the celestial body above. The scenery blurred the larger she stared really trying to ignore the hand shaped spot of heat on her leg. She really tried, really really tried, to ignore it. But that spot of heat moved to rest on the center of her thigh. Thumb still moving back and forth without a second thought.
If it really bothered her she could ask Kara to stop and that would be that. A couple of apologies and babbling back and forth about ‘it’s fine’s’ and ‘I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable’s.’ It’s not uncomfortable, not in the ‘get the fuck off of me’ way. It’s uncomfortable because it’s comfortable. She likes the feeling of Kara on her. She can chance one look at her friend, right? Just a glance across the claustrophobically chasmic space of the middle console between them. Slowly she lets her eyes move from her window to the windshield.
Her heart stops. How fucking fast is Kara going? Ninety- Ninety five?
“Kara, can you slow down please.” Lena tries to keep her voice smooth.
“Hm? Oh, whoops.” The Super eases off of the gas gazing over at the CEO before looking right back at the road. “Sorry, flying at super sonic speeds kinda messes with me sometimes.” She squeezes Lena’s thigh and the CEO forgets how to speak. Forgets how to breathe. “I’ll be more careful, promise.” Blue eyes dart to check on the CEO.
“Thank you.” It’s incredibly lame and all she can manage choking on the roiling thunder of emotions in her throat.
——
The rest of the drive was spent in companionable silence. Lena was gifted the priority of bluetooth and she decided to play some of the more ‘upbeat’ stuff she likes. She gently hummed, quietly sang, and sank back into her seat just letting herself enjoy the ride.
In all honestly it ended too soon. About an hour later they were pulling into a line of cars all heading towards a sea of lights. Rides of all kinds soar into the air, people’s screams of delight, hopefully, file into the designated parking spaces so far away.
Lena stares at the fair grounds feeling more out of her depth than she has in years. She has never been to a fair. She has never played fair games or been a fan of fair rides. Of all the things they could’ve done tonight this wasn’t even on the list.
She reaches carefully to open her door. Like taking her time would delay her inevitable embarrassment. She opens it about an inch or so before it’s pulled shut by the blonde beside her. By the time she turns her to look at her Kara is already scrambling out of the car.
It’s cute to watch her look so undeniably human. Stumbling a few times nearly denting the hood of the car as she squeezes between it and the three parked around to them. She huffs a quick breath pulling open Lena’s door with a bright, dumb smile.
“M’lady.” Kara steps aside unnecessarily helping the CEO out of the car.
“You’re such a dork.” Lena doesn’t feel the need to disconnect their hands. She holds on tight when Kara tries to let go, a quick look of surprise on her face. She shrugs gently. “Media be damned.” She means to say ‘I’m terrified.’
“Media be damned.” Her reporter agrees taking lead towards the entrance to the fair. Lena hopes that meant ‘I’ve got you.’
People are already staring at them. Whispering. Taking pictures. They’ve barely made it past the entrance booth, Kara not letting Lena pull out her wallet. She’s dreading the articles that’ll appear in the morning. The Tweets and posts and stories. It’s going to be exhausting to curve the media’s attention away from her and her personal life.
Kara turns to her, sheepish. “We don’t have to-”
“Media be damned.” Lena reiterates. To who? To be determined. She means it though. Feels so entirely selfish for soaking up Kara the way she is. Holding her hand as they walk around just taking in the immense amount of overstimulating fair. Vendors try to coax them into playing their rigged games. Lines for rides only grow as they pass debating which ones they want to try.
If it was up to Lena they wouldn’t try a single one. Fair rides are made to be put up and taken down in hours. It’s a wonder more people don’t die or get hurt. Seriously, she’s seen the videos and news flashes of things malfunctioning or screws just, falling out mid ride.
But Kara was like a ball of lightning excitedly ranting about which rides she can’t wait to go on. So Lena laments the person she is to the person she will be. Mentally writes her eulogy imagining the very few people who would be at her wake.
They walk though the busiest part of the grounds. Ravenous people spending far too money on far too shitty and far too delicious foods. She wonders if Kara notices she’s dragging Lena a little bit. Not enough that the CEO finds herself tripping, but enough she’s glad she’s not in heels.
“So.” The reporter stops pulling them off to the side of a busy walkway. “Where to first?” Her head darts around, eyes wide and barely blue from her pupils dilating so much.
“I don’t know, maybe we do rides first? I don’t have half the stomach you do.” Lena giggles at Kara’s excited bouncing as they walk. “Is it too much to care how my hair will end up?” Reflexively she brushes her fingers through her hair.
“You won’t have to worry.” Kara rests both of her palms on Lena’s jaw. “I’ll make sure it’s as perfect as you are.” She runs just her first finger-tips up her face until they tuck loose hair behind her ears.
Kara Danvers is trying to kill her. She’s listening to her heart and she’s trying to make it actually explode. Why the hell else would she be doing this? All of it. Not just tonight, but all the nights. Every moment of together Kara is just-
She’s trying to low-key murder Lena Luthor.
“Let’s go on the Gravatron!” Kara doesn’t wait for a real response. Just breezes past her actions like they have no consequence and leads the way to the Gravatron.
——
At least phones weren’t allowed out of pockets on the rides they went on. The only photos that might appear online are her waiting in line. Or maybe her looking a little sick after the spinning ones. Especially the ones they themselves were meant to spin.
Why she gave Kara the go ahead… Well she knows why. She just wished her will was stronger than her desires. They were not and they lost that fight quick.
What was she supposed to do after the Gravatron? When Kara pulled her away from the crowd both trying to get on and get off. When she fixed semi-mussed ebony hair back into place wearing that god forsaken gentle Lena only smile.
What was she supposed to do when this action was repeated for every single ride they went on. It got to the point where the only things left to try were The Zipper and the ferris wheel.
The Zipper is just a death trap waiting to happen. There is no way in hell, even with Supergirl right beside her, she will ever ride that fucking ride.
Kara was the one who skipped the ferris wheel. ‘Too boring’ according to the Kryptonian. Lena was fine with that. Skipping the giant spinning wheel that stops periodically? Stope in the air, periodically? Sounds fine to her.
She’s much more interested in eating anyway. Cotton candy, corn on the cob, falafel, deep fried things that shouldn’t ever be deep fried. Their scents waft around as they idle through food stands. She finally understands what people mean when they say it’s one of the best smells in the world.
It instantly has her stomach growling. Rumbling and really letting her know she forgot… skipped… eating all day out of nerves. Kara of course noticed her longing stares as they moved for rigged games.
With ease she changed their course insisting her Kryptonian stomach was running on fumes. Lena knew better. Knew what hunger looked like on her reporters face, in her eyes.
“Okay. So. What are you thinking?” Kara bounces as she walks, still holding Lena’s hand.
“I told you, I don’t know.” It’s the truth. They don’t have to keep walking around and around like they are while Lena rapidly knocks things off her list of wants. She’s already got the place mapped in her head. But walking means hand holding and hand holding is better than eating… Not substantially but she rarely gets to hold Kara’s hand like this. She eats everyday, multiple times a day. She can wait a couple extra minutes.
“Okay, then I’ll pick and you’ll have no choice but to eat something from there.” Kara smiles down to her a mischievous thing. She knows Lena is a very picky person. Not a picky eater, no. She’ll eat just about anything. She’s just picky about everything else. Clothing, jewelry, hair style, shoes, cars, building layouts, all of it. She likes very few restaurants. Has a very small list of things she’ll do “spontaneously.”
The fair is one big spontaneous thing. There is no rhyme or reason. No one here has a clear plan of what they want to do. They just. Show up and do stuff. Maybe they have preferred rides. Maybe they have a few things that are on “must do” lists. But for the most part, it’s just one random thing to the next.
“It’s not my fault I don’t know what I like.” Lena smiles coy. “Sheltered family life and all.” Whens she turns to Kara she knows her joke has, yet again, fallen flat. Before Lena can try and smooth the roughness she always manages to cause Kara looks far too determined.
“Then we’ll just have to try everything.” Her bouncy self is there, behind the hardness in her eyes. Lena feels her stomach drop and her heart race. She’s just damned herself to the whims of Kara Danvers and her over whelming need to fix things.
——
This is the fullest Lena has ever been. Kara actually dragged her to almost every single god damned food truck in the god damned fair. By almost Kara said there was no need for repeats and skipped over trucks selling the same things as others.
She still bought two of everything from every single vendor. She gave of one of everything to Lena watching in glee as she either melted or finished off the stuff she’d rather not force down her throat.
Fuck, though. It turns out the fair has some of the best fucking food she has ever had and will most deftly be craving when fairs are out of season. Deep fried Oreos, foot long corn dogs, sodas and lemonade and-
It was all so wonderful. It was wonderful to watch the way blue eyes soften from sapphires to pastel oil paints. They brushed over her face taking in every single unabashed moan or blissful sigh Lena forgot to tamp down. They painted her in gentle looks and warm words.
“Did you like it?”
“You’re not lying?”
“You’re sure you don’t want that?”
“I told you this was delicious!”
Kara rambled on and on as they finally made it out of the food maze and back towards the mess of rigged games. Lena answered each question happily. She giggled and laughed and… She forgot her last name entirely. She forgot she was being watched by subtle cameras and staring eyes. She forgot her own name when Kara stopped their motion forward and reached towards her cheek with a napkin.
“You had a bit of ketchup, sorry.” She blushes tossing the last of their trash from their last top at a hotdog stand.
Lena stammers eloquently, then “Thanks.” She manages a choked sound that she thinks is a word. Kara nods so, she must’ve gotten the point. Her Super has to physically tug their conjoined hands a few times before Lena remembers how to walk again.
They don’t go far before stopping at a very generic fair game. It’s one Lena’s seen in the movies Kara loves. Three stacked old timey mild jugs, huge ruined and dented red circles behind them. They sit on a raised platform, each set of three far enough apart from the other as to not ruin other people’s games.
Plushies definitely not worth the price of the game covered the back most all of the game trailer. They line the walls with varying prize prices and dangle from the convenient over hang, just out of reach of almost anyone under six feet.
In all honesty the concept is stupid. Spend too much money on only the slim chance of winning? Why not just go and buy quality stuff from an actual store actually worth the price? She’s asked Kara that question every time they watch something with this trope in it. She didn’t, doesn’t, won’t get it. It seems so impractical.
But her Kryptonian is bouncing off the damn walls already handing over a big ol’ twenty dollar bill. Four plays, two for each of them. Lena so graciously let’s Kara go first. Not because she’s afraid of throwing a baseball for the first time in her life. No, no. Kara was just so happy she-
She should’ve gone first. Kara basically flick her wrist letting the ball fly from her palm. It soars through the air slamming into the big red target so hard it adds a brand new dent.
On instinct Lena covers her ears, squeezes her eyes shut and has to take a deep breath. She hears what she assumes are milk bottles toppling followed by a very pleased,
“Hell yeah!” She’s already staring when Kara turns to look at her very proud of herself. “You’re turn Lena.” She scoots to the side letting Lena take the center line. The poor game vendor, an androgynous person with a neon green mohawk and shaved sides, looks at Kara like she’s a freak of nature. They aren’t wrong, but still Lena slips into Luthor and glares at them a bit too hard.
They meet her eye, finish setting up the bottles then move to set up the games other people have toppled. She waits a few seconds. Holds the oddly large baseball in her hands and…
Hesitates.
How does one throw a baseball? She’s thrown stuff. Everyone has thrown stuff. But when does it it’s out of anger or just a toss to whoever’s closer to her. She has never had to throw a baseball at a target like this. It makes her trounced insecurities flare in a way they haven’t in years. She’s going to look so stupid. She’s going to look so stupid in front of so graceful Kara.
“You okay, Lena?” Kara’s hand hits her shoulder. Well, actually it rests so gently on her shoulder it feels like her Supers committed an act of hubris.
“I’ve. Oh god this is embarrassing.” Lena’s face flushes beat red. “Throwing things isn’t my specialty.” Out of sheet need to protect herself she tries to hand Kara her untossed ball.
“Oh, okay. I’ll just show you.” Kara is secretly a Lena killing assassin, probably. She moves to stand behind her Luthor. Slides her hands to her hips and twists them the way Kara had been standing. The warmth of her is like the sun in the now star dappled night. Her fingers trace over Lena’s non dominant arm, move it to steady Lena’s shaky aim.
Good god. Or lack thereof. There is not a way in every known universe Kara does’t feel the racing of her blood. There is no way she doesn’t hear her pounding heart. There just is not a single way Lena would ever be that lucky.
Not when Kara is leading her dominate hand back. Not when she’s whispering, “Alright, now just give it a toss. It’s okay if you miss.” straight into her ear. Lena nods. Steels her face and tosses the baseball in her hand with all the might she can muster.
It flies with far less speed than Kara’s little flick. But, shockingly, she manages to knock the top bottle off the new stacked three. It’s so shocking she hit it at all she stand still as sun warm palms shake her shoulders.
“You got one!” Kara shrieked too excited about an accomplishment most children manage. Lena smiles none the less. “Aim for the left one. You’re a little to the right so that should fix your aim.” With the eyes of a Super Kara is all smiles and happy energy.
It’s infectious. “Then I guess I better not miss.” Lena chuckles doing her best to re-find her center. Again. Her blood betrays her just like everything else in her life. She pulls back looking straight at the left bottle and-
She’s being turned by hands on her hips again. They pull her flush against the Kryptonian’s heater-like front. Oh. Fuck. Kara’s muscles are feel-able even under the layers of sweater and t-shirt she wears. The CEO can feel all of them as they idly flex to absent movements. How in the hell is she supposed to focus. How the hell is she supposed to throw this stupid ball with sort of accuracy?
“Remember. Aim a little left.” The Lena assassin doesn’t let go of her waist. No no. She stays right against Lena holding her sturdy while she tries to get the shaking of her body to stop. She didn’t even shake like this when she was gun point. Or a suicide bomber was threatening her. Or when an alien had her kidnapped just to piss Kara off. She didn’t shake because she knew Kara would be the one to save her. Kara was faster than bullets, bombs, and everything else in every world.
What was she supposed to do when Kara was the one spiking her blood pressure. Making her feel like her chest was going to explode in a gory demise? Apparently, she shakes undignified and wholly unable to explain herself. Explain that no. Throwing a stupid ball at stupid weighted milk bottles isn’t in fact this nerve wracking. It’s the touch of nimble fingers pressing down hard into her hips. It’s her breath grazing her ear. It’s Kara being this close.
“A little left. Easy.” Lena chuckles a mirthless thing swallowing a fully dry mouth. When she pulls back to throw Kara steps away. She moves giving her Luthor all the room she needs to accomplish her goals. She is sweet like that.
It completely distracts Lena and she throws way, way too far to the left. So far the ball hits the metal wall behind the set up games ricocheting right to the floor where the unfortunate vendor has to walk.
She missed. She failed. She, Lena Luthor, failed.
“Awe man! That’s okay. Did you want to try again? We have one more play left.” Kara is standing at her side staring at her. She’s not mad. In the slightest.
“No, you take it. I already played.” Lena falls into a gentle smile. Of course Kara isn’t mad. They’re here for fun, fun Kara will not let Lena pay for. No matter how much she insists. This trip has really cost Kara close to one fifty on rides and food alone.
“Only if you’re sure.” Her blonde Super waits for her head nod, then knocks down a sack of three with ease. She dents the metal behind it, again. Lena covers her ears, again.
“Alright. Thats three points. Anything from this shelf down is yours to take home.” The vendor smiles a tired thing. Huffs when a guy in his twenties starts hollering for them to ‘hurry up already’ clearly turning off the girl he’s with.
Kara’s insanely blue eyes scan two rows of palm sized, horribly made plushies and cheap plastic jewelry scattered across a small red counter. With a grin she picks up a two point ring and one point plastic spider.
“For you.” She hands Lena the spider grinning widely. This has Lena snort laughing genuinely taking the spider into her fingers.
“I’ll cherish him forever.” She jokes following after Kara already leading them to the next game.
——
Turns out Lena is shit at almost every single game. The fake airlift guns used to knock down rotating ducks are nothing compared real guns. She sucks at the fake fishing games. Couldn’t get the little metal thing on the classic hammer and bell game up past the middle of the marked pole it slid up and down.
By the time they came around to the darts games she was fuming. Pissed off beyond all sense of the phrase. She’s Lena. God damn. Luthor. She can fly a futuristic space ship even Brainy said would be impossible either nothing more than her literal thought process. She’s created weapons, fixed unknown alien tech, hell. Literal carnival games should not be her down fall.
“Here’s ten each. Have fun!” A bubbly dark haired girl no older than twenty three hands them ten red and ten blue feathered darts. Funny.
“Do you want to-”
“You go.” She snaps and Kara only grins at her infuriatingly.
“Sore loser.” The super toting around far too many prizes let’s them spill onto the green, chipped wooden counter in front of her. She doesn’t even place at Lena instead hurrying though her round of darts.
Lena, then and there decided she’s going to pop more balloons than Kara. She doesn’t need all ten. Just more than Kara. So she can get the better prize and she can rub it in her dumb Kryptonian face.
Who cares if Kara hadn’t been a sore winner? Who cares if she has given half of her prizes to Lena? The ones she’d seen Lena looking at just a little longer than others. A blue dog with messed eyes. A green… Pig? With fucked up legs and teeny tiny ears. Just little things Kara noticed. Fuck her and her alien sight.
“Alright! That’s six points, are you two combining or?” The girl asks pulling out red darts from the very well used blue board lining fourth back of the game trailer. Lena looked to a larger brown and white spotted dog wearing a Supergirl S on it’s collar. Fifteen points.
“Combining.” Business like and sharp Lena eyes the fuller balloons. They’re the easiest to pop, with the duller dart tips. Rigged. Just like all the other games. How infuriating.
“Okay. When you’re ready.” The vendor steps out of the way.
“Take your-” Kara’s kind words are cut off by Lena instantly popping one a balloon, confetti and glitter raining down to the trailer’s floor. She doesn’t wait for, or look to her date for the night instead honing a skill she learned just incase game nights ever took place in a bar.
Four more one after the other explode in glittery gore. Eleven points total. Her throw bounces off a more deflated balloon. Shit. If she misses even one more then she is not getting what she wants. She always gets what she wants, when its in her reach and not flying around national city on the daily.
With her last and final dart she takes a deep breath. Tunes out the world around her the way she’s trained herself to do over years of living with the worlds worst people. There aren’t a lot of good options left. Either half or three quarters inflated colorful balloons. She eyes set on a bright, annoyingly so, green one. The confetti and glitter sits visible darkening where it fills up space.
It’s weakest point is somewhere in between dark space and where it’s affixed to the board by it’s tail. Somewhere where the latex stretches the furthest. If she’s done it right, thought it out correctly, then all she has to do is aim for where the bullseye would be on a dartboard. The hardest thing to hit. Of course.
In all of her practice she’s only managed to hit it on purpose a few times. She refuses to miss. She needs to get that stupid dog for her stupid date and make up for her utter lack of any carnival skills.
“Breathe Lena. You haven’t breathed in almost a minute.” Kara leans down to her nearly screwing her entire game.
“Kar- I know. I was focusing.” Instinct wants her to be mad. Logic tells her that’s childish. Kara’s gentle face tells her to calm down. She does, after a beat of staring with the blonde at her side.
She turns back fully to the board. Throws her wrist and fingers forward watching in slow mo as the dulled metal dart flies and-
“Yes! Yes yes yes!” Lena has forgotten who she is. She’s jumping up and down, screaming too loudly her victory. More than Kara, check. “I want that dog.” Dumb dog for her pretty date? Check and mate. “For you.” She immediately hands it to Kara the second the vendor get’s it down off the top shelf of the prize wall.
It’s fur is incredibly soft for fair prizes. The collar looks like it was holding the head on, the S a horrible glossy material and off center in the triangle of SuperGirl’s logo. Definitely not worth the amount of money Kara paid to play this game.
“For me! Ooooh! I’m gonna name him Krypto!” Her Kara hugs that dumbass dog to her chest like she’d been given keys to a kingdom. She beams with love and pure, untouched happiness. She shines brighter than the sun.
——
“Are you ready to leave?” Kara has her prizes in a plastic bag, curtesy of a very kind game runner at one of the water gun games Lena had utterly failed at. It hung off her wrist, her dog tucked into the crook of her arm and Lena’s hand in the other.
She was ready to leave a very long time ago. Their second lap through the games only pissed her off even more. Their second lap through the food maze was much for Kara than her. The lines were insane and she was getting more and more irritated with the people around them. At Lena’s request they avoid spinning rides. Which is all of them.
“I…” Kara’s eyes are glued to the ferris wheel they’re walking under. It’s a rotating sky high wheel on axils easier enough to build up and take down in hours. It creaks and groans as it gently spins. It shakes slightly when it stops, double seater seats idly rocking back and forth. It is a death trap.
“I want to ride the ferris wheel, if you do.” She squeezes Kara’s hand out of reassurance and need. She’s going to need Kara to drag her over there. Hold her in that line and never let go until the ride is done.
“You’re sure? That’s like, all the things you’re scared of.” Her reporter knows her too well.
“You’ll be there. I’ll be safe.” Who is she saying it to? Yes. Logically she knows she’s right. She generally is about most things. She is unfortunately human. And humans are afraid of things as inconsequential as flies.
“I’ll hold you the whole time.” She says it like it isn’t world ending. Like Lena is just supposed to hear that and be normal.
“If you let go I’ll never forgive you.” Lena means it too. As she squeezes Kara’s hand to dust waiting in line. She means it as they sit down, the operator locking their lap belt into place. She’s never meant a single phrase she’s ever said more as the ride starts moving.
“Fuck.” She swears closing her eyes the higher they go. Each idle rock of the seat she’s on makes her stomach swim, forces her eyes open before she actually throws up.
Fuck. Fuck, she still hates heights. She’s sat in a hunk of metal slowly climbing high and higher until-
“Shit.” The ride stops. They’re about half way to the top swinging slowly in the air. For the first time that night her heart pounds in fear. Her blood races with such fervor it roars in her ears. It’s so strong she feels like she can actually feel it’s speed under skin.
“You’re okay. Lena, look at me.” Kara’s heat is as comforting as a sweater. Her closest arm moves around her shoulders. The other takes her by the chin turning her clenched eyes to her, asking them to open.
They do. Oil paints meet gentle blue. Kara is holding her both with her body and with her attention. She oozes such a comforting aura Lena can feel herself calming just from proximity. She can feel herself scooting damn near into her reporters lap. She buries into the warmest spot between neck and slope.
“Don’t let go.” Like a petulant child she holds the collar of Kara’s sweater. Grips her thigh with all of her meager strength.
“I won’t let go for even a second.” Kara laces her fingers into her hair with the arm around her shoulders. The ride starts and Lena jolts. She really hates heights. She loves being so snuggled into Kara’s body. She revels in the way fingers press her head down, keep her steady where their seat moves.
“Lena.” Kara coaxes. “Lena, please open your eyes.” She pleads as the ride stops again. The CEO knows exactly where they are. She could feel it. Kept track mentally as they spun around a few times without pause. They’re at the top.
“Please.” Kara asks softly without lessening her tight hold on her CEO. Lena takes a deep breath. Pulls away from her Super just enough to look around and…
Wow.
She can see the entire carnival. The rides are lit up blinking and whirling below. People are no more than shadows passing along brightly lit walk ways, light spilling from game trailers or food trucks. She can’t help but look up at the midnight blacks and blues of the clear night sky. They’re so far away from civilization she can actually see milky whites draped across the sky.
Stars look more like twinkling diamonds dripping from wealthy people. If Lena listened close enough she wonders if she could hear what they would sound like, if they actually were diamonds on a dress and not burning balls of gas in a vacuum.
“It’s beautiful.” Her attention moves to the woman of her dreams. Normally people would say Kara was made for the daytime. Golden light bouncing off her impenetrable skin, highlighting her golden waves like they’re their own entity.
But Lena? Lena thinks Kara shines brightest when the sun has gone away. When gifted silvers slip down her body and sink into her skin. The moonlight holds her in a nurturing way where the sun beacons her like a trophy.
Her blue eyes are much more muted at night, much more. Human is not exactly the right word but. It is the best she has right now. They are all Kara. No Supergirl. Just Kara Danvers looking at Lena Luthor like she’s the goddess from different planet. Her beautiful blues stare at Lena like she is the most gorgeous thing in the world.
How was she supposed to do anything but slowly take Kara by both sides of her face? How was she supposed to do anything but softly ask her to list forward and meet her half way?
How was she supposed to do anything but kiss her? She kisses her once. Twice. Sighs when Kara pulls her back in after going to freak out make sure this was okay. She kisses her even as the ride begins it’s slow decent back towards the ground loath to let go when they stop, a pointed cough telling them to get off. Clearly this ride operator, a gruff old dude with white hair, has seen his before. He only rolls his eyes getting the next people on and ready for their turn.
“Lena.” Kara says getting the two of them out of the bustle. “Lena that was. I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” Kara’s hands are in hers, prizes on her first and tucked under her arm.
“You- you have?” Lena’s mind races.
“Have my hints not been obvious?” Kara shyly smiles.
“Hints?” Lena combs her gigantic memory. Every touch. Every ‘Lena only’ look. Every word. Breath on her skin. Hands holding her when they didn’t have to. That was all-
“Do you think I’m like this with everyone?” Kara giggles her laugh like moonlight and flushes the shade of poppies.
“I- I just thought that…” Lena trails off. “You want to-” Kara answers her by kissing her again. And again. And again.
“Let’s. Let’s head back. I think we have a lot to talk about.” Lena smiles happier than she’s been in her entire life. Kara is all too glad to steer them at a very fast pace towards the parking lot. She speeds, safely, all the way back to her apartment and if a certain plastic spider now sits on Lena’s desk. If a lopsided dog has a home on Kara’s bed then, well that’s no one else’s business but their own.